==================

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.”

Elie Wiesel

========

Ok. While I believe life, in general, is indifferent to our fate in life I believe we should not be indifferent to our fate.

In other words, because Life is indifferent to us it is up to us to actually make something happen – to actively not be indifferent.

In other words, if you do nothing. you will gain nothing.

Well. Actually. If you do nothing, you will get less than nothing. Mostly because life is … well … indifferent. It will not pay attention to you unless you pay attention to it.

I say that because I think some people believe if they knew there would be no consequences for their actions they would lead a fuller life. They would have the courage to do more and take some chances. Maybe have the courage to let themselves make some progress toward whatever they want to make progress toward. Maybe take some more risks <risks sometimes simply being things that move you even slightly away from comfortable but not big hairy audacious actions>.

But I would venture to guess most people do nothing because they fear the consequences.

In other words, they have forgotten that Life is indifferent.

Here is the tricky thing about life.

It is kind of a trap.

Doing more, taking some chances, means more responsibility for actions.

It is simple math.

The more you ‘do’ the more shit you can be blamed for … or … given credit for <that is a Life formula I believe>.

Life is built to be stimulated. If you do not stimulate it, it is indifferent to you.

By the way.

Elie didn’t mean that when he said this.

While I may have made some valid life points he was speaking about standing off to the side in Life and allowing bad to succeed over good. And while being indifferent with regard to ourselves is a shame. In general it is harmless to anyone excepting ourselves.

But. If we are indifferent to life outside of us and what is happening, you should be aware that bad, or evil, is not indifferent.

It is always active.

It is always opportunistic.

And in the end maybe that last point really is the big point about our Life.

Indifference permits that which is bad, which is always active, to win.

If you are indifferent, hate, ugliness, heresy and despair, all will run your life. It will win.

Doing nothing means you lose.

That means that doing nothing, being indifferent, is not really taking the safe path although it may feel so at the time. By being indifferent you permit all that is ‘not good’ to surround you … and smother you.

My point?

If we all did this, be indifferent, evil wins.

Heck.

If the majority of us did that, bad wins <in the bigger scheme of things>.

Heck.

If the majority of us did that, our lives for the most part would suck <it is difficult to be engaged with a Life which has veered so far away from your hopes & dreams you struggle to envision a path back to them>.

Frankly, I believe many of us think we are not indifferent, and yet we are.

Ok. Maybe selectively indifferent, but indifferent nonetheless.

I know I am <when I don’t pay attention>.

We should all pay a little more attention to indifference.

I know … I know. It can be difficult. Rightfully so we tend to focus on our lives and what is happening day to day. And I am not suggesting we shouldn’t. Because most of that is important. But that may mean we become indifferent to other, pretty important things, swirling around us.

And maybe we do so assuming someone else is not indifferent.

And that is where I believe “bad” <ugliness, heresy, evil, etc.> is crafty. I believe they whisper in our selective indifferent ears suggesting “don’t worry, you don’t have time, but someone else is not indifferent … THEY will make time.”

Bad is good at this. Bad is good at convincing us to let some responsibility slip to others.

Evil, tricksters, and everything you don’t want, is everywhere and sly and relentless.

Sure.

It may seem tiring to know you cannot be indifferent, but for what is right, what is good, to win, we cannot let down our guard and be indifferent.

Even if you are indifferent personally you need to recognize Life needs people who are actively involved.

Ponder the next time you feel indifferent to something or someone.

======

“You’ve got to realize that influence is not influence. It’s simply someone’s idea going through my new mind.”

Jean-Michel Basquiat

===============

Thinker doers.

Doer thinkers.

Thinking.

Doing.

Somehow, someway, the world makes this an either/or discussion. You are either a thinker, or a doer. Yeah. The other word can get attached to it, but once someone has labeled you the main one, well, in a world where we have convinced everyone being great at one thing is the key to success, everyone will think of you as a thinker or a doer.

And this is where it all falls apart.

Pick your preferred formula, but in today’s eyes, without doing there is no real value. Thinking is for “those who must have time to not do.” Yeah. Doing, or what we do, is what defines us in the outside world. In turn, that means it also defines, at least in some significant way, our thoughts, our attitudes, our beliefs and, yes, even ourselves.

Now.

Before I tell everyone how much bullshit that is, let me let you in on the truth.

You may not like it, you may even debate it, but, in the end, you will be defined by doing – it could be smart, doing, stupid doing, mindless doing, mindful doing, pick your type of doing. But you are stuck with it.

Which leads me into my topic today – using thoughts versus doing, or, using thought. In other words, be smart, be thoughtful, and use it. I would argue your biggest value as a thinker, because conceptually it creates the biggest impact, is derived by actually using thought rather than just thinking thoughts. This is a nuanced version of doing, but its more like “insight to action” rather than some simplistic ‘doing.’

It is the cycle of value.   

Great thinking.

Great thoughts.

Great impact.

**  note. This means education, or feeding the mind, is a long-Term Multiplier in that it not only is the engine to great thought but is also the velocity TO the thought (which makes impact exponentially bigger & better). I’ve always thought the greatest long-term multiplier was qualified people permitted to do the right things (‘need versus want’ decision making), but in thinking community terms, information input honed through critical thinking (even better thru Hegelian dialectic). 

Which leads me to the Hegelian dialectic. There are a shitload of people thinking different thoughts with the intent to use them and it benefits us all if they crash together in a process (let’s call that “positive friction”) wherein progress of thought occurs through the exchange of ideas, i.e., Hegelian dialectic. That progress can happen in small steps and in big steps. That said. Ideas create large markets and large markets benefit everyone.

Now.

We often tie curiosity to thinking/learning, but we should also be doing so with ‘using thought.’

Being curious is awesome.  And gaining knowledge makes you a better person (not just smarter).

Uhm.  Is it all completely wasted if there is no action involved? Well. It depends. Cause and effect is a myth, but does your idea and thinking inspire another, and another, and the action occurs somewhere down the road (another idea or another time). Yes. Using thought is an inherently nonlinear activity. This becomes more important if you think about the fact thinking has layers in and of itself (yes, even thinking, and ideas, can be applied in pace layers ). So, if Kahneman is right and the truth is even if you live in the present and you have maybe 600,000 ‘moments’ in a day and even 600,000,000,000 (billion) in a typical lifetime you will never not only remember all you offered in thinking in each moment (although you may remember some more than others), but you will certainly never be able to translate some specific doing to some specific thinking (the majority of the time). Here is where it gets weird for thinking. In a world laser focused on doing, your ‘memory self’ will reflectively dive deeper into thinking moments that appear to have ‘doing aspects’ tied to the thinking EVEN IF THEY REPRESENT LOW LEVEL IMPACT THINKING. My point? The world squeezes thinkers, and their thinking, so we tend to overlook the thinking that scales out to a larger market because it must pass through multiples layers before it shifts into any significant doing phase. The thought, the thinking, is multiplicative in traction with others until it has a critical mass to be ‘done.’ Yeah. Even ‘thoughts’ are getting squeezed by short-termerism. And maybe that’s where thinkers are stuck in today’s world. Scale. That horrible word which twists anything meaningful into ‘grow it or it sucks.’

“A squeeze occurs when people have no choice but to do something, and do it right away, regardless of the costs.”

AntiFragile

Scale creates a ‘false squeeze.’ You almost get forced to scale, through doing, the thinking. This most likely occurs before the thinking has been forged well enough to withstand the scrutiny of growth. Alternatively, you can get squeezed into using a thought which doesn’t translate into optimal potential, but rather immediate proof.

Regardless.

Personally, I believe the highest value of individual meaningfulness is founded upon “using thought.”

We think.

We use.

But. That’s me.

And, if I am right, imagine having a resume that didn’t list all the things one has done, but rather all the interesting thoughts one has had. Ponder.

Ok. The Chippewa Indians <or Ojibwe tribe if we want to be technically correct> have a brutal word for evil.

Majimanidoo is Ojibwe <or Chippewa> for ‘evil spirit.’

It is especially brutal because by ‘evil spirit’ the Indian tribe means ‘someone born without a soul.’

This word embodies someone devoid of anything good. Evil in other words.

Well. That is some word.

Yes. Although I believe in today’s world we toss around ‘evil’ far too casually, I surely believe there is evil in this world and certainly evil people.

But. I struggle to believe that someone is just born with only an evil spirit. Maybe I simply refuse to believe that someone is born with not one thread of good within them – anywhere in them.

I could be wrong, but I believe the word I would like to use is ‘agathakakological’ which is ‘containing both good and evil’.

“For indeed upon the agathokakological globe there are opposite qualities always to be found.”

Robert Southey

I am no psychiatrist, but I tend to believe 99.9% of people are born with both good and evil buried within them. I imagine in some way I believe that in all good there is a possibility of evil and in all evil the possibility of good <please note I used the word ‘possibility’>.

And someone who seems good, at first, might be bad in the end.

And someone who seems bad, at first, might be good in the end.

I also believe not every person kills, but every person is capable of killing.

I say all this mainly because we are all a bundle of impulses. Some good … some bad.

We are basically one half with a desire to be, and do, good and one half fear of not being good <in which we harbor some not-so-good thoughts … evil at their worst> and that each of us is a living breathing balancing act between right and wrong. Ok. Maybe not a complete balancing act but wandering a lot on the continuum between unequivocal bad and unequivocal good <because other than ‘Majimanidoo’ I believe the majority of us are somewhere on the continuum>.

But I imagine I am also suggesting you can have a soul and still have some evil <kind of the thought that we all have some sin within us>.

Let me explain.  Some people who have souls end up making choices that lead them to the evil they have lurking within and other make choices to avoid it. Yeah. I am suggesting all evil is a choice.

Therefore, I call it strength of character but I imagine some would suggest having a strong enough soul, or some connection to let’s say ‘good’, that they can make some choices that get them near to evil, but can pull back. Or maybe even examine the possibilities of evil … and leave it behind as they move on. Once again. Its a choice.

My personal belief is Evil lurks like a shadow following all of us around checking to see if we may have a vulnerable moment where it can get a moment of our attention. Or maybe it resides within our conscience insuring we stay on the straight and narrow of ‘good’ <as a mental checks & balance>, but other than that Evil has no tangible affect or outcome for the majority of us. It is, but is not of our actions.

Which leads me to when I think about this word ‘majimanidoo’, I end up thinking about a confluence of factors, or, when evil finds evil. Where evil therefore no longer lurks, but lives. It becomes something tangible, and it can become huge, bigger than the person it resides in. It feeds upon itself becoming darkness so dark that no light cannot defeat it.

This evil meeting evil suggests some people just cannot even have the capability of connection to the good within. They don’t even have that bridge available to them. Or maybe they simply lost the connection somewhere along the way.

Well. That’s majimanidoo but I still hesitate to agree with the Ojibwe. I am not really sure anyone is pure evil. And I do believe everyone has that bridge within <albeit it can get so dark it may be difficult to see let alone find that bridge within>.

I kind of like to think that people are made up of a collection of conflicting impulses. And that a person seeks some type of balance within that continuous conflict. If you believe that then evil is one of two things:

–          Where that person finds their peace <or balance>, or

–          Where one impulse simply overpowers the rest.

Look.

Good people do bad things.

Bad people are capable of good things.

We are flawed we human beings capable of deeds so inhuman that it seems that only humans are capable of dreaming them up. But even the worst of us, the most evil in the eyes of others, are capable of acts of heroism and sacrifice far beyond the logical imagination. Redemption always seems to lurk somewhere within even the most evil of people <redemption being a variation of ‘good’>.

“Evil is not a thing. It cannot take possession of you. It’s the opposite; it’s a void, an absence of goodness.”

Jo Nesbø

In Life we can all end up on some side of some pretty bad things.

Maybe not true evil, but some ‘wrong’ things.

You do them.

Sometimes you don’t do them, but simply live with them.

And does the latter make us evil?

Simply because we ‘live with it’ even though we didn’t do it?

Balance. And recognition of wrong versus right. That is what defeats evil.

Anyway.

Suffice it to say even the goodest of the good have some evil lurking within. Even if it is simply in thought. I would like to think it provides balance in thought and moral compass <suggesting that maybe ‘evil’ weighs more than good and therefore even a small dose of it can provide some balance>.

Now. If you believe what I just wrote than you have to believe even the evilest of the evil are not completely devoid of some good lurking within.

Gosh.

I hope so.

Because if you don’t believe that then somehow you would then believe some people are unequivocally unfixable.

I am not naïve enough to believe you can ‘fix’ even the most evil person all the time … but … is it naïve to believe we should at least try?

Ponder all of this the next time you think about flippantly calling someone, or something, evil. Because if “Majimanidoo” is the criteria, you are judging quite harshly.

=========

“They can betray me, but I choose not to betray my peace of mind.”

Dodinsky

===============

I can honestly say I have never been betrayed by anyone.

Well.     Okay.     Maybe.

Sure.

Some people have disappointed me in their choices & actions … but … either I have never done anything bad enough that was worth being betrayed for <… uhm … I am fairly sure I have some betrayable items I have done strewn throughout my past so that’s not it> or I haven’t considered what someone has done as ‘betrayal’ or worthy enough to be truly deemed “betrayal worthy.”

Now.

It is quite possible I define betrayal differently than a lot of other people.

Because <part 1> I would guess I could go back to high school and examine some ‘friendship betrayal’ thing … which … well … in viewing as an adult would probably look fairly absurd <even though it may have felt like betrayal at the time>.

Because <part 2> I imagine I could examine some past relationship and assess “betrayal” upon it … which … well … in viewing honestly & realistically was simply an act within a relationship that wasn’t what it was cracked up to be anyway <and inevitably doomed regardless>.

Because <part 3> maybe I refuse to hold a grudge, if even for a short amount of time, because someone has disappointed me.

====

    “I’m all about unforgiving and hating and holding grudges because it keeps me safe and mentally healthy and I don’t care about your stupid feel-good quotes about forgiving everyone everywhere always so you can take your feel-good emotionally manipulative apologist bullshit and shove it”

(via sailingaugust)

=====

This isn’t because I believe in any of the stupid feel good quotes <because I have gone on record publicly on my blog that I believe it is mostly bullshit>.

This isn’t because I believe in any feel good emotionally manipulative apologist bullshit <also have gone on record publicly about this>.

It is because … well … people are people, people are human, and there are two sides to any story.

Here is what I know for sure.

If you give anyone ample opportunity they will sometimes disappoint you.

If you give anyone ample opportunity they will sometimes surprise you.

Suffice it to say people, in your Life, are no better or any worse than people somewhere in someone else’s life.

And, to me, betrayal is tossed around far too flippantly.

People are not monsters nor do they constantly seek to disappoint or ‘betray.’

I could argue that if you stopped for just one second, and maybe think about the fact that each and every one of those same people you are disappointed in are all heroes in their own story – a story that they write every day – well, it’s kind of hard to attach “betray” on someone unless you are pretty selfish.

Selfish in that your story is more important than their story.

And, yet, we all see betrayal come to Life in a variety of ways dependent upon our age and where we are in life.

High school in friends we trusted.

Business in coworkers we trusted.

Relationships in partners we trusted.

Betrayal, in almost all forms or fashion, seems to reside in some unstated contract – a contract with Life.

Think about it. Almost everyone wakes up every day with a contract with the day in front of them. The contract consists of being concerned about their own drama Life and their own ‘things’ rather than whether they should become involved, or not involved, in anything else.

Does that make them someone a betrayer because in doing so they disappoint you?

Well.

Yes and no.

Yes in that people do have contracts with other people. It is not solely an “I” world.

And, yet, no. No in that even at their worst of worst “I” behavior even the monsters don’t see monsters reflected in the mirror.

I try and remember all of that every day.

In my mind betrayal is inevitably a very personal thing. Personal in that it is about having a piece of you either broken or sliced away.

Yeah. It can sting a little.

But it is just a piece and the piece does not define the whole.

==============

“I decided, enough pain …. I was not the woman who breaks into pieces under the blows of abandonment and absence, who goes mad, who dies.

Only a few fragments had splintered off, for the rest I was well. I was whole, whole I would remain. To those who hurt me, I react giving back in kind.

I am the queen of spades, I am the wasp that stings, I am the dark serpent. I am the invulnerable animal who passes through fire and is not burned.”

Elena Ferrante

==================

Yeah.

Maybe someone has betrayed me at some point in my Life.

Maybe I would see it as such if I viewed it as many people would traditionally view betrayed and betrayal.

But maybe people would be better served by viewing betrayal as I do because, well, let me go back to where I began and my 1^st sentence: I can honestly say I have never been betrayed by anyone.

That is my peace of mind.

I have passed through any and all fires of betrayal and not been burned.

Sure seems like a shitload of people would be happier in Life if they could say that.

But that’s me.

Ponder.

================

“I had,” he said, “come to an entirely erroneous conclusion, my dear Watson, how dangerous it always is to reason from insufficient data.”

–

Sherlock Holmes

<The Adventure of the Speckled Band>

================

“When we get better understanding or the facts or evidence don’t agree with the theory we must change the theory and change course.””

–

Sherlock Holmes

============

“… when you hear hoof beats behind you don’t expect a zebra.”

–

proverb

===================

So. “I believe” may be two of the most dreaded word you can hear in today’s world. Those two words may be this century’s version of throwing down a gauntlet or challenging someone to a duel.

“I believe” has been bastardized in today’s world to actually mean “I know” <but people have convinced themselves if they soften it with ‘I believe’ people will think they are more open to listening and true discussion>.

Facts matter. And they matter a shitload not only with truth but in the battle between I know and I believe. The problem is that while facts are facts — two facts can coexist in the pursuit of “I know.”

Shit.

The truth is that truth, the unequivocal kind, is most likely borne of let’s say 8 facts <I made that number up>, coexisting, which when arranged into a pattern make up an unequivocal truth. This means unequivocal truth, or let’s call it good solid “I know”, is made up of a puzzle of facts and not just one fact or even two.

The practice of Truth is actually a profession of facts.

Using legalese for binding of contracts “by means of facts, truths are created and beliefs come into existence.” Yet, in spite of all good intentions, the meanings of individual facts are not always clear and unequivocal. They may be capable of being understood in more ways than one, they may be doubtful or uncertain, and they may lend themselves to various interpretations by different individuals.

Following that thought, this means, when differences in understanding are not resolvable, divides in “beliefs” occur and dysfunction, in terms of lack of progress, occurs.

Once again, in legal terms, this is called “ambiguity.”

Paradoxically enough, the word ambiguity itself has more than one interpretation. The general meaning has to do with how things are said, the words that are used, by someone and how those words are understood. Ambiguity occurs where the two are not in alignment. The lack of alignment actually springs back upon the facts themselves in a vicious way — the fact itself comes into doubt.

Sigh.

But facts are facts. The problem isn’t about the fact, but rather most truths are more complex than equating it with one fact. Unequivocal truth is grounded in … well … 8 facts <once again, I picked 8 out of the air but you get the point>. This problem gets compounded by how people elect to actually use facts.

Using my 8 let me tell you what I mean. The expert, the most knowledgeable, will stack up the 8 facts from top to bottom in order of priority, but all relevant to making and truth unequivocal.

Then we, the non-experts, get in the game.

Some of us use the highest priority fact, say #1, and that is all.

Some grab the facts we want, in the order we want, and create the truth we want.

Some may actually use the 8, but decided to prioritize them in a different order <which may net out to a slightly different ‘truth’ conclusion than the expert who lined them up properly>.

All are using facts. Most are using them improperly or in an incomplete way. And, inevitably, 90%+ end up with an “I believe” and not an “I know” stand.

I know. I know. We all wish truth could be easier and, in fact, many people flippantly suggest truth is simple <or simpler than we make it out to be>. Here is what I know about that. Using the thought I used upfront in this piece “… when you hear hoof beats behind you don’t expect a zebra.”

Well. An expert, maybe a horse trainer, could hear the hoof beats and tell you with 95% confidence the breed, the weight and the type of horse coming up behind you. The dreamer will suggest it could be a unicorn. The pragmatic will narrow it down to a horse, zebra, antelope or some 4 hoofed animal.

Truth is less than simple and more in need of facts than we like to admit.

Yes.

The trouble with unequivocal truth is that it usually takes ‘one more step than you think’ to get there. Unfortunately, the truth about this is most of us don’t make it there.

We stop short.

And I tend to believe most of us know we are stopping short. We like the facts that we have but we, at the same time, know there are most likely some more out there that could be useful. We have 3 or 4 and decide the remaining 4 or 5 are just not that necessary. I guess we bank on the fact, if we stop short, we have at least grabbed the top 3 or 4 most important facts in an unequivocal truth. Good enough or enough to make it ‘sensible.’

Yikes. Dangerous thought.

It’s dangerous in believing we have the most important ones of the ones we decided is enough, but possibly even more dangerous is that we confuse an unequivocal truth for a simple “I believe” thought.

It is dangerous because “I believes” tend to reside in the negative space. Huh? If you only snag 4 of the 8 necessary facts the debate can never be resolved as the back & forth ends up in the blank spaces around the discussion. Truth is constructed more often by what was not found than what was found <look at what I didn’t point out versus what I did point out> – that is negative space truth.

Uhm. That is not unequivocal truth.

In fact … it poisons the unequivocal truths in a misdirection of specious comparisons.

I would suggest that more of us should pay attention to negative space.

Why? Negative space is usually indicative that a fact is missing. 99% of negative space can be filled with a fact <if only we looked hard enough for it>.

All that said. Truth is the axis munid … the dead center of the earth.

=============

“the person who pretends to not see the truth is committing something much worse than a mortal sin, which can only ruin one’s soul – but instead committing us all to lifetimes of pain. The truth is not just something we bring to light to amuse ourselves; the truth is the axis munid, the dead center of the earth.

When it’s out of place nothing is right; everyone is in the wrong place; no light can penetrate. Happiness evades us and we spread pain and misery wherever we go.

Each person, above all others, has an obligation to recognize the truth and stand by it.” 

Jacque Silette 

================

 I believe, no, I know the world would be a better place if more of us took that thought seriously. Because if we did than maybe we wouldn’t stop short of the unequivocal truth destination. Maybe we wouldn’t settle for an “I believe” thought and confuse it with a real “I know” thought. And maybe if we did there would be less discussion of alternative facts and more discussion about unequivocal truths on which we could center ourselves on.

“I had,” he said, “come to an entirely erroneous conclusion, my dear Watson, how dangerous it always is to reason from insufficient data.”

Geez. If Sherlock Holmes says that sure as shit more of us should be saying it <and I don’t think we are>.

Unequivocal truth exists.

They exist as surely as Santa Claus <yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus >.

We just have to want to get there and not be satisfied by stopping short and feeling good about the facts we gathered … short of the ones we need to reach unequivocal.  I don’t know that 8 facts create an unequivocal truth is the right formula, but I sure as shit believe it is on the right path to getting there. 

—

“You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand?”

Robert Louis Stevenson

—

So. We always talk about how, every once in a while, people step up. Its the idea that someone seeming to rising above not only what you expected, but maybe what they expected of themselves. In general, stepping up is tied to a meaningful moment. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that all of us face meaningful moments, therefore, we all face this opportunity we call ‘stepping up’ at least once in our lives (and I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually dozens).

Life is funny that way. It can push pretty hard. And most times it will try and push you down or back.  And, in fact, sometimes it pushes so hard it is quite tempting to lose hope you can deal with ‘the pushing.’

This is where we find some personal, internal, traction.

When the world is pushing you sometimes if you look close enough you find hope, in order to push back, in the words of children, some song, a friend or in something your parents may have told you. Yeah. I just listed a shitload of external stimuli. Yeah. I’m suggesting that your internal fortitude often needs some external help.

I tend to believe hope is an intricate mix of internal and external and, in particular, you need to find this type of hope if you desire to push back.

And when you do, you push back.

Yeah. I guess I am questioning ‘stepping up’.

Stepping up seems inarguable and a seems a simple concept. It would seem to mean to rise above yourself. Maybe to do a little more or to show something special. It is often a moment in which people need more so you give more.

See.

That’s why I am not sure it is stepping up.

I think its finding something that already exists within yourself and you use it not to step up but rather push back on what Life is pushing you on.

Look. We all know life can be challenging and can push pretty damn hard sometimes and I believe we decide, or not, to push back.

Because when life wants to push you down or off the path you want to be on, well, then I guess we learn to push back.

Just ponder.

Maybe instead of thinking about a need to step up, the next time Life pushes you, push back.

——-
<thinking they hear King Henry approach the dungeon>

Prince Richard:

He’s here.

He’ll get no satisfaction out of me.

He isn’t going to see me beg.

Prince Geoffrey:

My … you chivalric fool … as if the way one fell down mattered.

Prince Richard:

When the fall is all there is, it matters.

“The Lion in the Winter”

—————-

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Victor Frankl

——-

I will begin with the thought that it is incredibly easy to flinch from your destiny and, yes, “the fall” is often in one’s destiny. We don’t often talk about ‘the fall’ because society tends to focus on ‘everyone can win’, ‘falling isn’t failing’, ‘possible resides in impossible’, and a bunch of other happy horseshit. The truth is we all fall. And how you face ‘the fall’ is a choice. And the choice you make about what you do when you make it matters.  Because when the fall is all there is … it matters.

It matters a lot as a matter of fact.

Yeah. Today’s piece focuses on the biggest ‘fall’, death.

Now.

I am not going to be politically correct with regard to the thought I am going to share. Pretty much everyone focuses on ‘living life to its fullest’ and making every moment count.  In fact. I often worry that sometimes we worry so much about ‘maximizing Life’ or being positive or believing the impossible can happen or you should always try to win in the face of impossible odds that we forget, or undervalue, how we fall says something about who we are as a person.

I say this because sometimes Life makes it where things get a little reversed. In some cases, some people actually see the Life finish line and ‘fullest’ all of a sudden becomes a bit more finite. All of a sudden ‘life to its fullest’ has some specific boundaries.

Sure. We all know a finish line is there, but for most of us it creeps up on us from somewhere beyond the horizon, unseen. For others Life shows it to them. It says “here it is.”

But let’s be clear. Even then you can see it and, yet, not see it. Or maybe you just don’t accept it. And that’s where I believe not flinching from ‘the fall’ resides – in acceptance. At some point you look around, assess reality, and see your destiny will contain ‘a fall.’ At the moment, acceptance can be a really really small quite room. And, yet, in that really really small room if you are paying attention you can find freedom lurking in the corner.

“Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”

Cheryl Strayed

Look. Destiny can be a real sonuvabitch, but accepting it gives one freedom. The freedom to choose one’s way to fall.

I am not suggesting you shouldn’t fight for what you believe is right up until the end.

I am suggesting that when the fall is all there is that the way you fall really matters.

To be clear. I fully understand that some people ignore ‘the fall’ because they want to focus on Life. Ignoring the fall as an undesirable event which should be ignored as if it will not happen is the way they choose to fill up what is clearly finite time.

Well.  I will not suggest that is a bad thing to do. I will not because everyone has to decide, individually, how one will face their fall.

But I will say this.

Will King Henry care if the prince is disgraced or chooses to die with grace and honor?

Probably.

He may look at the prince differently.

May.

Will it matter to the prince … Richard?

Surely.

It is within that distinction in which acceptance resides. Acceptance makes a statement of who you are as a person. Acceptance is a decision. It is a decision, a recognition, that your fall will echo in eternity in a way you decide. It is destiny’s version of “the last impression counts.”

I guess my point is that one way of looking at ‘the fall’ is to treat it simply as an adverb in the middle of a long sentence.

Simply a word with the intent of getting to the period.

Or.

Like Richard the Lionhearted you can treat it like it is the end of a sentence.

A period.

Or an exclamation point.

Or a question mark.

Or anything definitive or declarative.

A way to put a piece of punctuation at the end of this particular sentence.

Richard states that it matters to him and he is going to control how his fall is defined. This isn’t about being right or wrong. This is about character.

We do not choose when we will die, but some people are chosen to die through destiny.

That is what cancer <certain types> does.

It touches you and says “tag, you are it.” Your horizon becomes less infinite and your destiny is better defined. You didn’t choose this destiny, but by being chosen you have to make a choice.

—-

“Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you’ll never achieve your true greatness — you didn’t choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose.”

Charlie Jane Anders

—

Murray Calder just reminded me of this again.

You have to choose when chosen.

Choose to flinch from your destiny or not.

He did not.

He made a choice when he realized that when the fall is all there is, how you fall matters. And in doing so he showed us a nobler version of what humans can be. If I were to fall, I would hope that I made the fall matter just that way.

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Postscript:

While Murray and I often chuckled as oldsters over business experiences, I believe most of our emails occurred during what I believe was his ‘acceptance’ phase. His struggle to face what destiny surely had placed in his lap. He knew I knew what was going to happen and he knew I wasn’t going to bullshit him with some happy bullshit. He spent a bit of time on my “not all setbacks are created equal”  piece but I could tell when he had leaned in on accepting and just got on with getting on. I was honored to be invited into his quiet little room of acceptance if but for a moment or two.

RIP Murray.

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“When you die, that does not mean that you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live.”

Stuart Scott

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“Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.”

Robert H. Schuller

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Well. Happy Easter <if you celebrate it> tomorrow.

By no stretch of the imagination am I religious, however, I think it is silly to simply regard religion & religious believers as ‘followers of fantasy. Faith, in and of itself, is a strong complex concept. Inevitably a strong faith is grounded in two things – faith in oneself and faith in some external beliefs <be they something specific , like God or Allah, or something less tangible, like morals & an ethical compass – all of which can also be intertwined>. I say the two things because just faith in oneself is … well … narcissistic, and, just faith in something external … well … most likely absolves you of any self will or individual thought.

Anyway.

My apologies to my religious friends because I tend to believe I am going to bastardize the true concept of Easter to make a couple of points.

If you want to be successful in business, you learn very quickly the balance between confidence & humility as well as understand its affect on uniting & dividing.

All you need to do is to change jobs once in your career and face a new organization and new community of employees as a stranger that you need to earn trust & confidence & respect  & ‘likeability’ <assuming that last one is important to you>.

You need to prove your competence and trustworthiness and ability to work within a team <or manage a team>, therefore, you must demonstrate dedication and commitment to hard work and some empathy toward the existing community of workers & working and the way things are done.

Trust precedes any change. And that includes progress & outcomes. Trust is typically slow to build and it seems like a ceaseless struggle especially if you truly are trustworthy and have the best intentions.

Now.

Humility can be a tricky word.

Tricky in that in some case it can connote some meekness or ‘lack of leadership skills.’ But it can also refer to a willingness to self assess, recognize self limitations, recognize gaps in knowledge, recognize that ideas can come from anywhere and anyone and an ability to recognize good advice.

Humility, when genuine and when tied to a good self esteem & confidence in one’s beliefs & skills, unites. It unites people to a way of doing things and a way of thinking about things. Most importantly, it doesn’t dictate specifics but rather establishes a framework for accepted protocol. If you are in a leader position assuming a new position in a new organization this is the true way to impact existing behavior & attitudes.

And you know what?

That is what Easter reminds me of.

We are all shaped by the cultures in which we were raised. And change is difficult. And, yet, change is our constant companion. The other constant companion we have is unrest somewhere in the world at any time. The world, heck, the universe, is never totally calm.

Far too often we bluster our way thru change and transition & unrest trying to convince everyone we not only know what the hell we are doing, but also we know where the hell we are going and that we know where the hell a ‘calm place’ resides.

** note: we don’t.

The fact we really don’t know what the hell we are doing or even where the hell a calm place is creates a general fear of failing or not being good enough <in the moment or in totality> which makes us say and do things we may not really want to say or do in our heart of hearts.

It is only being centered on humility which permits us to forge thru the change & transition ceaselessly and arrive out the other side not only better, but having made those around us better — and while there is no guarantee of ‘no unrest or turmoil’ we all end up a little better able to face it.

Humility permitted Jesus Christ to unite people behind an idea and a way of doing things and saying things.

And he did so by never standing at a podium and boasting about his beliefs, he didn’t do this by making non-believers the enemy or suggesting anyone should be shut out <in fact he welcomed non-believers to hear his message in the hope they would … well … believe>, he never sought endorsements, he never built an election headquarters, he never solicited an endorsement, he spent more time among the working people than anyone else and he explained ideas that were complex and simple at exactly the same time.

This Easter?

Almost 1/3^rd of the world’s population will gather somewhere to remember not only the person called Jesus, but ponder the words & thoughts.

Portions of the other 2/3^rd will look on and think “I don’t believe in this resurrection thing … but … I do wish I had some sense of what those people have and I like the hope aspect.”

That is the power of humility.

That is the power of building change not thru violence or bombastic rhetoric or even false promises, but rather thru words & thoughts of love, caring and hope.

Look. I get grumpy with the people who say that “today’s world demands you to shout to be heard & noticed.”

That’s bullshit.

A voice that has something meaningful to say will be heard whether it is whispered, written or done in sign language.

I would also suggest that “hope” need not be shouted for, even when whispered, it echoes throughout every corner of the world.

Hope unites any and all.

And I know I learned that from changing jobs.

People do not want for kings or people to simply tell them what to do or who to hate or even where to hide <or how to shut out ‘those driven to destroy us’>.

People want one who believes ‘people don’t want to destroy us … they just do not understand our way, our words and our beliefs’ all the while protecting us, all people, along the way.

People want one who protects my freedom and my rights.

People want one who doesn’t sacrifice morals under the guise of ‘it is good for us to do so’ or ‘we have to in order to be successful.’

People want one who believes in my dreams, defends my dreams and doesn’t permit my dreams to slip down the slope of mediocrity.

People want one who creates an environment for me to rise, stand or fall on my own merit all the while not blaming anyone, and not permitting me to blame anyone, should I fall and equally insure I have a fair chance to receive what is due me for my successes.

People want one who is inclusive not exclusive and one who unites and not divides.

I know I learned all that by assuming a leadership title in a new organization <and having to earn the leadership mantle to match the title>.

Maybe if I were more religious I wouldn’t have had to learn it that way.

Maybe that is part of what Easter does for me. It reminds me of great lessons and lessons learned in a variety of ways.

And maybe Easter also reminds me that Hope & Faith never truly dies.

Change, and big transitions, can often look like the death of something … and, yet, in the end … something new is never really born … something, more often than not, is simply reborn.

And maybe, just maybe, that is why we should let our Hopes and not our hurts define our future.

Ok.

Once again.

I apologize to my religious friends because I would be willing to bet I got a shitload wrong from a religion standpoint. But, in my defense, I think Easter made me think about some important things and share some thoughtful thoughts and I hope that is part of what God would hope for everyone.

This Easter just take a moment and think a bit. Even if you don’t believe in Christianity, just think.

—–

“Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.”

Cheri Huber

—–

“Looking back, of course, it was irresponsible, mad, forlorn, idiotic, but if you don’t take chances then you’ll never have a winning hand, and I’ve no regrets.”

Bernard Cornwell

—–

So. This is about safety, fear, and those who dare.

I imagine that daring is mostly about fear or the ability to face fear. Because to ‘dare’ is all about stepping away from safety and making some decision, in some form or fashion, to ‘go for it.’ That said I almost began with “qui audet adipiscitur”: “who dares, wins” but elected to not do so.

Why? Well. To me it seems to imply those who dare, well, win. As in ‘the only way to win is to dare.’ Or. To dare is to win.

Uhm. That’s not always true. Those who dare certainly have a chance to win. but they can also lose.

** note: “qui audet adipiscitur” is the motto with the British Special Air Service <SAS>. In addition, the motto has been used by nine elite special forces units around the world that in some way have historical ties to the British SAS.

Anyway. While I am using latin <hopefully correctly … because I do not speak latin> a well-known Latin saying with that same basic meaning is “audaces fortuna juvat” or “luck smiles on the daring” <often stated as ‘fortune favors the bold>.

Here is the deal. I love being bold. I love encouraging some to ‘dare to do.’ But. Being daring, flippantly, is foolish.

Daring is a decision of the moment, not a decision of Life. People who make daring a Life decision tend to have short lives. And to suggest that they ‘lived life to its fullest’ is not only trite, but also foolish. They simply lived a shorter life than they could have because they couldn’t discern when to be daring and when not to be daring <and therefore simply always having an on switch>.

Daring is about choice.

And while just shoving the whole concept of a ‘life of daring’ up a bunch of people’s asses I will then also suggest a full Life contains some moments of daring.

Simplistically, the Life daring formula is this:

—

No daring is bad.

–

All daring is bad.

–

Some daring is good.

And that is where ‘to dare’ becomes all about choiceful choices. It becomes all about discerning the moments to leave safety, to face fear and dare to ‘do’ something.

<by the way … practice makes you better at this>

Life will definitely provide you periods in ‘human affairs’ which represent opportunities … if you dare to make the choice to try and take advantage of the opportunity.

“There are seasons, in human affairs, of inward and outward revolution, when new depths seem to be broken up in the soul, when new wants are unfolded in multitudes, and a new and undefined good is thirsted for.

There are periods when … to dare, is the highest wisdom.”

William Ellery Channing

Look. Daring, in Life, isn’t really about the bleeding edge of courage, it is more likely embodied in simply doing what you can do to put yourself in the way of as much opportunity as possible. Simplistically, Life will deal you a hand and that is mainly a matter of luck. But the way you play the hand is a matter of skill and resilience and, well, daring.

Oh.

Yeah.

I purposefully attached luck to daring.

Yeah … yeah … yeah … people will debate with me on that.

“People make their own luck” is the main comeback.

That’s bullshit.

Let’s face it.

Sometimes you need a little luck. Not always. And you certainly cannot depend on it, but sometimes … just face it … you just need some luck.

And this gets me back to ‘practice makes perfect’ and becoming better at when and where to dare. You can practice luck.

No shit.

A guy named Professor Richard Wiseman, a psychologist at the University of Hertfordshire, has carried out studies on luck and its effect on people.  And he believes lucky people follow their instincts:

—

‘It is very easy to take an unscientific approach to luck and simply speculate about what does and doesn’t make people lucky.

The best work into the topic has involved scientific research and discovered that luck is indeed all in the mind, and that people can change their luck by thinking and behaving like a lucky person.’

—

Luck, and daring to do, are tricky things. And your first experience can dictate some relatively absurd future behavior. If you first step into the ‘I dared to do’ pool is successful, it seems to imbue an exponentially warped larger sense of ‘I can do anything.’ Conversely, if your first step into the ‘I dared to do’ pool almost drowns you, well, you have an increased sense of ‘I belong on the shore.’

In addition.

We see many people so focused on ‘changing their luck’ they become blind to reality and a similar group of people who think ‘I need to be more daring more often in order to get to where I want to get to.’ And inevitably they come crashing to a halt <albeit these are the same people who look back and see the few ‘when it worked out in my favor’ among the many ‘wow I got fried’ moments and continue the absurd behavior>.

Luck & daring is inevitably made by making good choices in when to test luck and when to test daring.

And ultimately it all comes down to one thing – fear. And managing your fear.

You may fear ‘I am no longer lucky.’ <and play on seeking affirmation of your ‘luckiness’ blind to whether it is the best time to try your luck>

You may fear ‘I have never been lucky.’ <and you do not even get in the game … never leave safety>

You may fear ‘I dared and lost so daring is bad.’ <to be clear, one moment in which you are not ‘enough’ is not a reflection of other moments, in other words, you don’t see the concept of ‘moment’ as contextual but rather as similar>

You may fear ‘if I don’t dare I won’t win.’ <more often putting you in increasingly bad situations which you should not have dared an actually increase the degree of difficulty>

I told you this whole thing was hard.

Managing fear is hard. Really hard. And those who state ‘no fear’ are lying <or have some psychological disorder>.

I sometimes fear that we make ‘to dare’ sound so monumental that it  becomes a more daunting choice for us to make.

Look.

If you think about it, to dare is simply a Life choice. One of which we make as part of all the decisions and choices we make each and every day.

Just look really really close at your Life and each day.

You will find the little moments in which you dared to do something.

The moments that if you told someone around you that you ‘dared to do’ something most would laugh and suggest it wasn’t daring.

Baloney. No. Bullshit. They are wrong.

They are the little moments which make you alive. The little moments in which you dared Life and won. The little moments which seem a little brighter than the other often gray moments.

I believe most of us ‘dare to do’ much much more often than we give ourselves credit for. And if we actually gave ourselves credit maybe we would be better at managing the truly more big daring moment decisions and choices.

Aw.

Shit.

Just think about this:

——-

“I will take the sun in my mouth

and leap into the ripe air

Alive

with closed eyes

to dash against darkness”

=

E.E. Cummings

——

 To dare, the big moments or the little moments, is to leap into the ‘ripe air alive.’

Fear & dare are two words which seem to take on a big Life of their own.

And you know what?

They are littler than they imagine.

And you should treat them as littler things.

Dare a little.

Going back into the ‘wayback machine’ because Trump never really seems to go away – he is kind of like ‘the gift that keeps giving’ (gonorrhea). Here is the quote of the day from 2016 presidential candidate Donald Trump:

“What do I know?” Trump replied. “All I know is what’s on the internet.”

Well.

This actually explains a lot.

Credible sources track Trump comments/claims he made in 2015/16 running at about 75% false (it never stopped for 5 years). But maybe we know why. He clicks on Wikipedia or urban dictionary or instagram <scanning an image with some quote or factoid> or Fox or Newsmaxx and then tweets it out or parrots it in on-air interviews.

He has no credible sources, he never has, and he just makes shit up or maybe even worse, he doesn’t truly think about what he believes.

Ok.

Now ponder this Trump wisdom oldie, but goodie.

 

“I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things. My primary consultant is myself and I have – you know, I have a good instinct for this stuff.”

Well, Donald, that sounds quite reasonable. It’s not as if the world, let alone the Middle East, Ukraine, the South China Sea, is particularly complex or that there are nuanced delicate diplomatic situations or even that it is important to get it right. I imagine just going on instinct makes sense. Or maybe go on the internet because there you will surely find all the answers you will need.

<note some heavy sarcasm there>

When I read what he said at that time I thought of a Samuel Adams quote:

—-

“If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.”

Samuel Adams

——

With Trump we faced a vain man, maybe the vainest of vain, maybe even one with Narcissistic Disorder, and an aspiring man – one who aspires with no rules, no boundaries, seemingly no moral imperative, or any trivial nuisance that could get in the way of a win.

Back in March 2016 I stated it this way:

He appears, alarmingly so, to be free of any actual solutions.

He appears to be free, alarmingly so, of any real policy <beyond his ‘good instincts for this stuff.”

He appears to be free,  alarmingly so, to offer frighteningly hollow rhetoric.

He is the ruin, not of the country <we will still be standing despite him>, but he is the ruin of what makes the country great <which is not simply ‘winning’ as he suggests it is>.

In my little corner of the world I did everything in my power to convince everyone of the sham Trump is and what he offered.

Why?

I will refer to Samuel Adams again <and let everyone who has not spoken out yet think about these words>:

—

“… the necessity of the times, more than ever, calls for our utmost circumspection, deliberation, fortitude, and perseverance. Let us remember that “if we suffer tamely a lawless attack upon our liberty, we encourage it, and involve others in our doom.” It is a very serious consideration, which should deeply impress our minds, that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers of the event.”

Samuel Adams in The Boston Gazette 14 October 1771

—

Speak out now. For what we say, and do, today has an impact, an impact that millions yet unborn may be the miserable sharers of the event.

We seek to circumvent the miserableness for the millions yet unborn.

Well. I wrote the original of this in March 2016. One could suggest, given Trump’s resilient fan base, that I failed in my efforts to make people understand what a sham he is, and was. I say that because while I had hoped the exhausting 5 year Trump episode of stupid West Wing was cancelled, it has not and I forge on discussing Trump, trying to make people understand one by one, and walking people through how a grifter is not only what they want but what America needs. I share this today because silence is not an option and simply ignoring him will not make him, or his believers, go away. Festering wounds do not go away on their own. I am not asking everyone to walk the same path I am, just ponder.

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Toby Ziegler <West Wing>:

“We don’t know what the next president is going to face. If we choose someone with vision, someone with guts, someone with gravitas, who’s connected to other people’s lives and cares about making them better; if we choose someone to inspire us then we’ll be able to face what comes our way and achieve things we can’t imagine yet.”

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