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“Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.”
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“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then, I contradict myself; I am large — I contain multitudes. “
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Walt Whitman
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“ …In reality I did not go to the monastery to become an ascetic, but to gather those parts of my soul which had scattered…”
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Nikos Kazantzakis
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“I have nothing to offer anyone except my own confusion.”
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Jack Kerouac
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Ok. This is a quasi-reflective piece as well as some thoughts on what I think is important about how we approach people and Life.
I like messy people. People who don’t fit in a box or stay between the lines, but whose integrity is greater than any rule book and whose loyalty is stronger than blood. People who are smart but just aren’t sure if they ae really that smart & just have enough random pieces of knowledge to bullshit their way thru Life & business. That said the closest I could find to talking about these thoughts today seemed to be found in something called INTP. It is a personality designation. One of 16 <I think>.
Let me be honest upfront. I am not particularly fond of personality testing. Not because I don’t think it can create some interesting self-reflective thoughts but rather because far too many people start using it as an explanation of self <and actually falling back on it as excuses for why and how they do things> rather than simply viewing it as ‘well, shit I should think about with regard to myself.’
It can quite easily become like looking at your horoscope and seeing shit simply because it fits what you want it to fit.
In addition it can become far too easy to confuse self-descriptions with skills. It is a false belief that some self-description correlates with having a skill.
Simplistically, personality tests should dictate nothing. They determine nothing in your life. They do not care about you. They are only indicative of personality traits and not behavioral decisions.
I imagine my real point is that if you’re lazy, or detail oriented, or easily angered or easily bored it is your own fault and not because of something that some personality test told you.
But. To be sure. It always seems to make for some fun reading. Ok. Back to INTP:
The INTP personality type is fairly rare, making up only three percent of the population, which is definitely a good thing for them, as there’s nothing they’d be more unhappy about than being “common”. INTPs pride themselves on their inventiveness and creativity, their unique perspective and vigorous intellect. Usually known as the philosopher, the architect, or the dreamy professor.
This makes it ironic that INTPs’ word should always be taken with a grain of salt – it’s not that they are dishonest, but people with the INTP personality type tend to share thoughts that are not fully developed, using others as a sounding board for ideas and theories in a debate against themselves rather than as actual conversation partners.
This may make them appear unreliable, but in reality no one is more enthusiastic and capable of spotting a problem, drilling through the endless factors and details that encompass the issue and developing a unique and viable solution than INTPs – just don’t expect punctual progress reports.
People who share the INTP personality type aren’t interested in practical, day-to-day activities and maintenance, but when they find an environment where their creative genius and potential can be expressed, there is no limit to the time and energy INTPs will expend in developing an insightful and unbiased solution
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So when you take the MBTI, the personality chosen for you is based on your preference in four dichotomies which are called “preferences” because it simply means you prefer one over the other, not that you use one exclusively over the other.
Take “Introvert” and “Extrovert” for example. These two major traits are very commonly known and have recognized stereotypes. An extrovert is typically described a happy, energetic, party-goer, while introverts are described more as bookworms, loners, shy, and quiet. However, it’s not as black and white as the words and stereotypes make it seem. Everybody has a little bit of both. You simply get the “Introverted” designation because of what the test perceives your preference to be.
Anyway.
Back to quote. Random bits. I question everything, but I question myself more than anything else. I don’t understand how people can have strong opinions about things that they don’t fully understand. There are so many facets & bits to every issue that I find it extremely difficult to not constantly revise my opinion based on new information. That is basically learning to unlearn. If I thought about it I bet I have a theory for everything, even have a theory for why I have a theory for everything. I’m always modifying my outlook on life & things as I gather new information.
To be clear. That is not intelligence.
I say that because not only do I think I’m not incredibly intelligent but basing your self-worth on your intelligence is a dangerous thing (because there will always be someone smarter than you and there will always be intellectual challenges too great for your mind).
I said that because the one thing I absolutely can’t tolerate is condescension. It shows dismissal of alternative ideas and intolerance for intelligent discourse. Condescension also creates a barrier to novel experiences which force you to think about things from a new perspective <leading to new insights>.
How does this benefit me? I live in a world of possibilities.
How does his NOT benefit me? Choosing only one and dedicating myself to it fully makes me feel trapped. I always need a way out.
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i have survived
so many fires,
i can no longer tell
if i am alive
or if i’m still burning.
— Pavana पवन
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But having a way out means smartly finding your way in as well as smartly seeking a way out. Oddly, this sometimes means you can look both spontaneous and cautious depending on who is looking at you and what circumstances you may be dealing with. I appear spontaneous to those who don’t know any better, but I’m actually extremely calculated & thoughtful. So let’s call it “calculatedly spontaneous”. It means being deliberate — with haste in my actions. It’s weird. A lot of people perceive my actions as unstructured or random, but they really are not. I meander, but I do so with purpose.
When confronted with a new obstacle, I may initially appear too still & maybe slightly indifferent but all the while I was paying attention and sniffing out subtleties in the obstacle the whole time in seeking a way out.
This also means I require a job me to actually use my brain and have the opportunity to work on a wide range of activities. Monotony kills me.
I’m not one of those wicked smart people we all seem to know neither am I the dullest knife in the drawer. My grades were never stellar, but I was able to find effective paths between two points and do exactly what’s necessary to take it. I’m not into overachieving I am into achieving smart shit like, well, anything that requires me using my brain.
I do know Curiosity is possibly the most important characteristic of anyone who is good at what they do <in Life & in business>. But “good” comes in a variety of shapes & sizes and sometimes those shapes & sizes are crafted by one thing: do we care more about the question or the answers. What I mean by that is finding truth, or the best answers, is very rarely a linear process. Therefore the question & answer sequencing to that truth is not linear. Oops. I tend to believe most people use question & answer in a “that begets that” way. All in all, that means believing the answer is more important than the question. All that mean is if you get the first question right <and a shitload of us do not> the truth is arrived at like in a sequence of dominos. I’m always going to be searching for the next piece of the puzzle, and that’s both an exhilarating and depressing proposition in that “what’s next attitude” almost demands little reflection on achievements.
What a self-reflective post today. Oddly it’s been sitting in my draft folder for years staring at me daring to be written. Today was the day.
“Sometimes I wonder whether I have any real intelligence or if I just have enough random bits of surface knowledge to bullshit my way through most things.”