Enlightened Conflict

perspective and hunters and business

September 15th, 2015


hunting Mooseheads

“Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter.”

African proverb





When I say hunters I mean the people who will do whatever they feel they need to do to get what they want.

doing life destroy the world


We all know some of these people.






We all know some of these people who do not recognize that they are one of those people.



Particularly in business.



They aren’t psychopaths and they aren’t the kind of assholes that are raging assholes … these are just the assholes oblivious to their assholedness.



There are a variety of ways they justify their hunting but suffice it to say far and away the number one way is “end justifies the means.”



“But I <or we> made the numbers.”

“We won.”

“We finished.”






All the while ignoring the carnage left behind.



The carnage can be lost employees, pissed off employees, tired <emotionally and physically> employees, angry peers and disappointed or abused partners.



Let me explain <and what the ‘hunter’ says>.



asshole bad manager thank you asshole

<lost employees>


They couldn’t keep up or they were not good enough <good they are gone … we weed out those who can’t keep up>.




<pissed off employees>


You can’t always pamper people to get them across the finish line <they like me because they know it is all done with ‘tough love’>.




<tired employees>



I pushed them beyond what they thought they could do <they won’t be angry once they see how I helped them realize their potential>.



<peers angry>



The other managers don’t recognize what it takes to get it done <my project was more important and they won’t be angry once they see the result and how the team responded …or … I am showing them how it should be done>.




<partners angry>



They have good intentions but I need to keep them focused on our priorities and objectives and needs <they work for us and need us more than we need them>.





These are the hunters <assholes in the office> who focus on the kill. We all have them or have encountered them.


They unequivocally state …


“We came in within budget.”


“We finished on time.”


“We made the numbers <or exceeded … which is most likely what the hunters say>.”






At what cost?





Simplistically <part 1> … these are  the bad leaders.



Simplistically <part 2> … good leaders get the story from the lions and not just the hunters.





Many hunters in business are simply assholes … and do not even know it because all they see is they are hunters and they have a lion to show for their efforts.





Success does matter.




I am not suggesting we shouldn’t value ‘the kill’ or even ‘ability to effectively stalk the prey’ in business.





I do believe how you kill or stalk matters.





Let me discuss the ‘how you do it’ matters aspect.



Having had this conversation several times with hunter like people <assholes> in some office in some city as employees ran to & fro around us … these are the people who quote Sun Tzu and military people all the time.



They ignore honor and integrity and respect for the event and an honorable opponent and solely speak of the honor of the win and respect for the victory <or kill>.



I struggle with these people because as hunters they lose sight of the balance or bigger picture.



Seeking to win, or make the kill, with honor & integrity for the event offers such satisfaction that one who only hunts for the kill sometimes can’t seem to understand.


I sometimes think they fear the event and simply go for the kill thinking that honoring the event means increasing the likelihood they lose the kill or lose some success.



I admit.



This is a difficult discussion to have with hunters. All they hear is ‘inefficiency’ or even ‘being too nice’ or ‘soft’ … yet, in reality, nowhere in there is nice, or inefficient or softness … it is respect.capitalism personal gain integrity


Respect for the hunt itself and finding satisfaction in making the kill, gaining success, in an honorable way.



In addition.



Gaining success in an honorable way, the right way in my eyes, not only creates satisfaction for me but … you don’t lose employees <or … the ones you lose are the cold blooded hunters>, your employees are less pissed off, your employees may be physically tired but are rarely mentally tired, your peers have a tendency to look at you & your team with respect and partners want to work with you.






But hunters only tell their stories … and far too often are glorified in today’s business world.

reflective thinking

August 20th, 2015

reflect tigger


“It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.”

Sydney J. Harris



There is neither a right nor a wrong way of reflective thinking, there are just questions to explore.

Reflective thinking process starts with you. Before you can begin to assess the words and ideas of others, you need to pause and identify and examine your own thoughts.

Doing this involves revisiting your prior experience and knowledge of the topic you are exploring. It also involves considering how and why you think the way you do.

The examination of your beliefs, values, attitudes and assumptions forms the foundation of your understanding. 

Reflective thinking demands that you recognise that you bring valuable knowledge to every experience. It helps you therefore to recognise and clarify the important connections between what you already know and what you are learning. It is a way of helping you to become an active, aware and critical learner.


UNSW Australia


reflective thinking reflect





I have written dozens of posts with regard to self esteem and being yourself and, yet, this quote made me sit back and think a little more about the importance of how you view yourself.



When I started writing this thought I am sharing and titled this post I didn’t realize there was actually something called ‘reflective thinking.’  To be clear … today’s thought from me is just that … a thought … and if you want to read up on reflective thinking and research and stuff like that … well … go for it. In general I tend to believe all of us would be a little better off if we actively were aware of the ‘reflective thinking principles’ as we wandered our way thru Life.







My thoughts.



reflection people imperefcetBy the way … this thought is also very <very> relatable to business in that how a business, and its organization/employees, feels toward themselves impacts their feelings toward other people <target audience, customers, competitors, etc.>.






Life, us, and what is in our heads.



Very <most> often we think about ‘what do others think about’ or ‘how people view such and such’ and don’t stop and think about “why do I care?”


We should.


What you care about with regard to yourself impacts what you care about externally.



It creates expectations, desires, attitudes and even your behavior.



The danger in ‘non reflective thinking’ is multi dimensional … but the main danger is that means you view the world through a focus group of one – yourself.


And that means you view the world thru a lens of what you feel comfortable with about yourself as well as what you feel less comfortable with. it filters the view positively and negatively. Regardless. It creates a filter.





self thinking mirror reflections

That filter is always being adjusted by self doubt and what is happening to you day in and day out.




Hold on.



There are a bunch of confident people shouting “I have no self doubt !!! … I know what I am comfortable with and I am comfortable in my own skin !!!!”






In all the exclamation points I would suggest ‘you doth protest too much.’



Confident or not … we all doubt ourselves sometimes and we all certainly question ourselves at all times.

There is nothing wrong with that.



However … in that natural human activity it affects how we view everyone and everything else around us.



It makes us comfortable and uncomfortable with things and people in an uneven way. Or maybe in a less than desirable inconsistency which can not only confuse other people <our inconsistent filter … even if it is just a minor inconsistency can create a more major impact> it can confuse us.


Be aware.


We like consistency within ourselves … it kind of proves to ourselves that we have our shit together.



On the other hand.


reflective We-do-not-learn-fromIf you think about it … you sometimes celebrate the inconsistency as ‘an ability to not treat everyone the same’ and it suggests that we can adapt to new and different experiences.





Most times we are wrong in that thought. We are fairly consistent. The reality is your own filter has most likely varied because of something that has nothing to do with them or the experience but rather something that has affected your own filter PRIOR to that experience.



Even worse?



Your filter could be affected by how <insert an “uh oh” here> … uhm … you feel about yourself that day and in that moment.







In the end.



I don’t think we like to admit this to ourselves … the fact that how we view ourselves taints how we view others.




I am not sure most of us even recognize it.



We far more often reflect upon ourselves as a way of thinking about how to improve ourselves or maybe reflect upon ‘I is what I is.’ Nothing wrong with that <in a balanced way>.



Self awareness is good.


What is even better is to be aware that what you learn is reflected in how you view others … and at its worst … how you judge others.


Your personal comfort, or discomfort, affects your comfort or discomfort in others.

reflective looking back


If you recognize this maybe you will be a little more appreciative of others in ways you have never imagined.





If you recognize this maybe you will gain some valuanble insight into yourslef.



“Reflective thinking turns experience into insight.”

John Maxwell

Enlightened Conflict