finding a place far more suited than here


In my head there’s a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
Where they’re far more suited than here

Death Cab for Cutie


“That was the beginning of a sort of awakening in me. When you realise that the dumbest person in the argument is on your side, that means you’re on the wrong side.”


I am fairly sure most of us find ourselves in some place where, well, there is clearly another place you are far more suited for. But. You are here, someplace else is there, and you view the situation as something you just ‘suck up’ and make the best of. There is where the problems begin. People, generally speaking, have a need to be liked, respected, and accepted – as a human being as well as our ideas & thinking. Your ‘place’ is the situation in which all of that occurs – or doesn’t. So sometimes your ‘place’ creates such a sense of dissonance it drives us to stop sucking it up and just finding another place far more suited for your ideas, work and thinking. This is where “dumbest person in the argument is on your side” comes in. It is a signal the ‘place’ is sending you. It is reflection of dissonance whether you recognize it as such or not. But, more importantly, it is a reflection of self awareness within the ‘place’ you are. Suffice it to say, if the dumbest people are constantly on your side, you should be seeking a place better suited for you.

Not to get too wonky, but almost all the things I am speaking of is indicative of what is called ‘living systems.’

In living systems identity is the boundary between ourselves and our environment, self and organization, family, community. It is the liminal layer in which we define who we are and what we want to be in the world. It is within that space where we begin to craft the story we choose to tell about ourselves. It is a liminal space because it is a transitional space connecting our self and everyone, and everything, else and in that interconnectedness, we arrive at who we are as well as the “evolving” self, i.e., all those interactions continuously shape us even in some small ways. I bring all that up because a ‘suitable place’ for you is not an alone space, but rather where we seek to fit into society, the community, relationships, and everything that surrounds us. If it helps, I would suggest to pay attention to the patterns around you because they tell you why you feel what you feel and they can identify ‘things’ you find healthy in a suitable place for you. In other words, these patterns help you identify a false sense of belonging versus real sense of belonging, i.e., the difference between an unsuitable place and a suitable place.


Sometimes you have to transition and when you are going through transitions almost everything feels just a bit more important and acute. But I would note that you should compare those feelings with the dull ache in the realization that where you are does not fit with where you belong. Or. Maybe compare it to how you feel when you realize the dumbest people in the room agree with you. Ponder.

Written by Bruce