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“Culture is an elevated expression of the inner voice which the different peoples of the Earth have heard in the depths of their being, a voice which conveys the vibrant compassion and wisdom of the cosmic life. For different cultures to engage in interaction is to catalyze each other’s souls and foster mutual understanding.”

Daisaku Ikeda

==================

Let me get my main points out of the way:

• I believe, unequivocally, businesses should operate in ways that are conducive to a healthy planet and healthier society.
• I don’t believe businesses need to market such operations and initiative. In addition, i DON’T recommend they do so unless they are 100% committed to it. not 99%, 100%.
• Despite gobs of research suggesting young people (Millennials) prefer buying from businesses associated with sustainability & causes I don’t believe the majority would actually pay more nor do I believe it is a true deep-seated ‘preference’ (it is more about assuaging ‘guilt’ – read on for explanation).
• I believe business people confuse Purpose, purpose of a business, causes, environmental responsibility, and a myriad of well intended business actions all the time to the detriment of the action itself.

Anyway. Let me get to my points. There is a lot of research coming out suggesting the importance of Causes & Social Involvement <conflated with Purpose> in consumer choices and what they value. At its most base level this discussion is about cultural & societal concepts tied to future desires <and behavior> of people. It is kind of guessing <in an educated thoughtful way> how people will want to behave with regard to larger Planet-type issues and discussing what behavior will make them happy <from a Maslow type perspective> in the future <and the value associated with it>.

This is good type thinking, not simply mental masturbation.

By the way. Thinking about the future type stuff can be Jetsons type pie in the sky type thinking or it can be more pragmatic ‘rising generations with existing perceptions and how will they act in the future’ type thinking. I tend to be more pragmatic. I do so because it is fun. It is fun in that every every generation rising <young to old> rebel against the norms & ‘standards’ of the older more established generations and as we view ‘trends’ & research it becomes easy to confuse simple rebellion rhetoric and true desires that affect behavior.

Regardless. The windows exist and if you can identify the underlying attitudinal shifts you can be successful by offering things that tap into this attitude <and you can reap the benefits of their behavior>.

Let me get the contrarian conclusion out of the way:

• most people only care about Causes & planet to a point (despite what they say). The majority of young people say they care about Causes with regard to brand choice is out of guilt, not depth of caring. This is NOT to suggest social causes & caring about the planet & sustainability are not important, just that there is a gap between that importance to a individual and other things that matter when decide to make choices & do things. Altruism has limits to the everyday people and the everyday purchase.
• most people care about personal wealth & lifestyle. The majority of young people still want to accumulate money & things, they just don’t want to be seen as greedy as older generations. You would have to be blind, deaf and dumb to miss the attitude among the young that older generations are greedy. That’s easy. The hard part is that we old folk flippantly disregard this attitude as the naiveté of youth. Silly us old folk. The young DO recognize the value of accumulating wealth and the benefits that come along with it, they just don’t want to do it the same way. Conversely, it is silly to not recognize young people want shit – things, money & recognition (yes, they are capitalists too>.

No matter how we may want to couch attitudes in some trite platitudes — people will always want to be valued and fairly compensated for the value they provide. The future challenge is how to let the Reptilian brain ‘accumulate wealth’ and increase personal value all the while balanced with a moralistic <semi altruistic> belief that ‘I want to be fair’ <at its most hedonistic shallow level it would actually be ‘how can I become wealthy and not look like a greedy jerk’>.

Trendwatching in 2013 called it ‘guilt free consumption.’

I imagine the more positive slant on it is a revitalization of some sense of altruism or fairness while still consuming. People, especially younger people, are feeling conflicted between their desire to earn & spend and their aspiration to do the right thing. They are looking for products and services that will deliver value and quality while, at the same time, provide reassurance that their ‘accumulating’ is not seen as greedy or doing a level of ‘harm’ to the greater good <note: that ‘level’ is an individually driven assessment & typically not a societal standard>.

Trendwatching researchers suggested that consumers were experiencing guilt over how they spend, and on what they spend it on, which means they will look at how companies conduct their business, from where they source their products and whether they are engaged in socially-responsible initiatives.

Here is where the cynical me steps in.

The key to addressing consumer guilt is to identify the choices that cause the consumer the most concern and “absolve” them of the guilt.

Once again. This doesn’t mean ‘me’ desires go away. It, in its most simplistic sense, is suggesting a ‘guilt free’ aspect to the desire to accumulate wealth or things. Cynically, a person seeks an implied ‘balance’ —  a bargaining with a desire to accumulate.

In a non-cynical way someone has added a belief if that a ‘me’ can make more, earn more & and accumulate/have more and feel good about it if the ‘optimal end game’ is connected to a greater ‘we’ aspect <environment, society, sharing of that which is accumulated with less fortunate>. This mental bargaining is an attempt to alleviate the guilt that gnaws at the conscience of those who, mostly with good intent, want to do the best they can and accumulate the most wealth they can.

—–
“Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal.”

Robert South

——

Wealth & consuming is achieved with a balance of ‘what I could have had, but shared.’ This shared aspect shows an innate sacrifice of ‘me’, but not at the expense of success <or actualization>. Instead it shows a sharing of individual success. Successful wealth management <growth> shows ‘not too much’ by ‘I could have had more but I don’t.’

It also meets a Maslow thought: ‘I am successful – not everyone can be successful – therefore by being as good as I can be (which is better than many people) I am contributing to the greater good for those who cannot do what I can do.’

All the psychological mumbo jumbo aside. Guilt free accumulation, despite sounding like some moral relativism, actually does deliver a sense of fairness — fair to me and we. It’s not straight up altruism but its a version of individualistic altruism.

I called this basic attitudinal concept Community Individualism in 2010. And I still call it that. The seeds of this type of thinking have been planted and while it will most likely not prosper in current adult generations it will thrive in younger rising generations. It will be <at least in my eyes> the prevalent psychographic attitude every business will need to attend to in the future.

Hey. Interestingly if you google my ‘community individualism’ concept you will find a number of really well written articles and intellectual papers outlining the battle <tension> between ‘community’ and ‘individualism.’

I say interestingly for 2 reasons:

1. Because I believe there is an entire rising generation who is answering the battle for “us” <versus just ‘me’>. They are living it and have grasped it and are embodying how to be and do both. We <older folk> could not figure it out. They have.

2. I am the only one, I have found, who believes there is no tension, but rather an embracing, between community & individualism in this next younger generation.

Anyway. ‘Community Individualism’ or “Enlightened Individuality.” I will not bore you with everything I have written but give some relevant highlights to align everyone on my thinking.

——-

The post millennial generation (The Global Generation – others call it “Z”) will have been preceded by the two extremes of community and individualism. The worldwide web will enable a higher level of intimacy between cultures and globally dispersed local communities (or maybe, more specifically, individuals). We see this emerging even today (it just has not matured). Not surprisingly, this technology has transformed our worlds – empowering people with access to extensive circles of population as well as connecting in surprisingly personal and intimate ways.

My thoughts may seem extreme … but I believe the Millennial generation is “too far down the path” to be the Global Generation. They were the early adopters of a web based global community aspect and there will certainly be “cusp” generational citizens, but as a whole they are being bombarded with the vocal minority and don’t have the global counterbalance (I guess what I mean by that is I believe Millenials will still fall back on country cultural cycles as the subconscious place to go). Millennials will be open to a global community (which is the reason why I believe the Global Generation will be successful as they follow in their footsteps).

Remember.

Generations are not set by birth, but by accumulated experience over a lifetime. As Millennials will deal with a Crisis, the Global Generation will deal with the aftermath.

This balance of community and individuality will permit this generation to better accept and respect the choices made by individuals globally and yet strengthen local communities (I actually believe that will be represented by strengthened country patriotism). The community aspect will definitely lead to some cultural or geographical driven conflict yet the respect for individual choices elsewhere will balance the conflict within a “values set of rules.”

——–

All that said. As noted above I believe that while generations turn and attitudes evolve over time that the advent of the internet has truly enabled a new ‘mixing’ of an attitude and should enable new behavior. Interestingly the internet has not just changed behaviors, but also attitudes <in that we are now better able to judge others’ behaviors>.

Yeah. Transparency doesn’t just go in one direction <towards the bad guys … and ‘evil corporations’>.

And while the internet may appear to sharpen <or cocoon> opinions & beliefs it has actually made us more aware of issues and differences <whether we like or dislike the differences is a different issue>. It may have made us more defensive with regard to our own attitudes it has also encouraged us to go on the offensive to showcase our ‘moral cores.’

By the way.

This doesn’t mean a ‘flatter’ world. It means a more aware world. You can no longer just ‘be me’ and be invisible — me is now always visible.

This comes with some repercussions whether it’s protecting or projecting your image or character. The world today with its internet driven transparency forces us all to take a closer look at not only our behavior, but also what that behavior ‘begets’. Oh. This also includes what we purchase.

In the end.

Guilt free accumulation is an attitude <generating a type of behavior> that needs to be addressed if you are in business and want to innovate products & services … or just want to understand what attitudes which need to be tapped into in order to be successful.

Why should you believe me? I will end with what I started with … “an elevated expression of the inner voice which the different peoples of the Earth have heard in the depths of their being, a voice which conveys the vibrant compassion and wisdom of life.”

Listen closely.

Branding people may misuse the information and and others, like me, will caution the depth of this caring & inner voice.

But.

The inner voice of fairness is raising its voice to be heard. A lot of us older folk may try to shut it out, but the younger voices will be heard. And in being heard they will drive the behavior of the future.

Ignore this voice at your own peril. Ponder.

—-

“If I have gained anything … it is the knowledge there is no starting over – only living with the mistakes you’ve made.”

Jodi Picoult

—

“It is so hard to leave — until you leave.

And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”

John Green

—

Almost everything in life (and business) can be encapsulated in beginnings, ends & what is in between. Everything occurs there. So when I speak of starting over I am also talking about ends.

Or conclusions.

Or when enough is enough.

And where you go when you have reached ‘enough is enough’. Now, some people suggest that point should be called ‘starting over’. I don’t but suffice it to say starting over is not only big business, but it may actually be part of our DNA.

Yup.

I think part of America’s DNA  is a belief anyone can reinvent themselves. We write books about it, give seminars on it, share trite inspirational ramblings on it and invest gobs of energy on it.

Well.

Look.

I don’t believe in starting over. To me it implies you can leave some stuff behind, wipe the slate clean as they say <whoever ‘they’ is>, but reality is you never really leave shit behind.

What do I mean?

I think Life is like a puzzle. You are given some pieces and you pick up some pieces as you progress. And it is just part of Life that sometimes all the pieces just don’t fit. But here’s the deal. Once you pick up a piece it has your fingerprints on it.

And even if you try to discard what you see as a useless piece … you cannot. The pieces are sticky.

It is possible in reading that you may think I am suggesting being more careful about what puzzle pieces you accumulate.

I am not.

Picking up puzzle pieces is just part of living Life.

Suffice it to say you are never really finished putting a puzzle together. You are always looking at new pieces and picking up new pieces. Now. On occasion it may feel like you have almost put your puzzle together only to find some pieces that don’t fit <and they may have even actually fit in the past>. Yeah. Puzzle pieces can change. Oh. And sometimes you can actually want a piece to fit, but it won’t fit into the space you’ve designated for it. Yeah. It gets challenging.

But beyond the actual pieces, and going back to the whole ‘reinvention’ or starting over idea, you can’t really discard the puzzle and start over.

Pieces? Sure.

The puzzle? Nope.

To be clear. We may want to get rid of the fucking puzzle. We may look at the puzzle we have put together, or let’s say, tried to put together, or maybe it is just a big nasty pile of pieces staring at us in the face … and say “shit, where did I go wrong?”

Well.

This is one of the few times you have permission to sit, maybe cry a little … and certainly think about how your life may have gone awry.

I don’t mean that you should wallow in pity that things look like they didn’t go your way. I’m just saying that it’s okay to sit and be unhappy that you sucked at putting the fucking puzzle together well.

It’s okay to be upset.

But you are stuck with much of the puzzle you have invested in. Yeah. That thought will make almost anyone unhappy.  But maybe it is good to get upset and let all the frustrated, disappointed, sad feelings out because when you’re done, maybe you get angry. And when you get angry, maybe you decide to do something about it.

Here is the good part of my whole ‘there is no starting over’ and this Life puzzle thought.

There is always another piece – choice, option and way out <forward> – around you waiting to be picked up. So when I say I think starting over is bullshit I am not suggesting that you give up nor am I suggesting that “life is out of my control” or that it is too big to do anything about it.

Because I hate it when people say things are “out of their control.”

That’s bullshit.

And it is simply an excuse to not go after what they want.

Pieces are all around so go after what you want, do something about the crappy puzzle you have put together to date, but, that is not starting over. It is about moving forward, accepting what you have done up to that point, sifting through all of it and gathering up the good <because there is no way in hell you have made 100% bad decisions and have 100% ‘wrong’ puzzle pieces in your puzzle> and starting to build a new version of the puzzle you have already started.

Inevitably this is about making some choices and making some new decisions <that are good for you>.

Now. There is another sort of tough thing to grasp when it comes to this not starting over, but rebuilding your puzzle idea. People around you see different things in the puzzle you have already built and some of them have ideas about it.  That only matters because what sucks about making decisions that are good for you is that not everyone is going to be happy with the decisions nor the results. Nor is much of the world going to be paying attention … because they will be making their own decisions and doing their own thing. Who cares? Its your puzzle, your life and your responsibility to self.

Starting over doesn’t mean picking up and moving, maybe it’s an attitude change, maybe a shift in your mindset, maybe its just a change of heart or a new outlook on life. All of those things give you a new outlook on your puzzle.

Anyway. Here is what I know.

This whole starting over thing drives me a little nuts.

I don’t like the thought of thinking of everything as a do-over.

Sure. You always get another chance, heck, that is what Life is all about. But you don’t get to ‘do over’ something, you just get to do something else.

I think it is better, and healthier, to accept the fact you can’t wipe the slate clean. All you can really do is to stop and understand why you are the way that you are and how you got to where you are.

Oh. I said ‘stop,’ and not ‘take a step back.

Purposefully I may add.

Why?

Most times we are seeking to understand what we have done and at the same time try and put something behind you.

That said.

It seems silly to step back, but instead maybe just stop.

Semantics? Maybe. But stopping means pause, assess, evaluate, look around.

Shove the shit that is actually behind you <no sense stepping back and reliving it> or to the side or, even better, into some storage bin <and, once again, I purposefully do not suggest ‘burning or destroying’ … it is what it is … you cannot destroy your past>. You are storing away anything that is adding weight to your load and impedes your progress.

This suggests you also have to quit over thinking everything and anything.

I say that because any winning, even in Life, is part thinking and part instinctual. It’s a balance.

Happiness is almost exactly the same. Maybe because happiness is partially about … well … winning.

And I don’t mean tangible shit <money, stuff, trophies, cars, etc.>, but rather satisfaction in oneself <meaning, mattering and purpose>.

—

“Happiness is simple. Everything we do to find it is complicated. “

Karen Maezen Miller

—

Which leads me to the fact you actually have to give yourself the opportunity for satisfaction.

What I mean by that is if you sit and think through every possible scenario, dissect every decision into meaningless scraps <ultimately making the decision you need to make completely unrecognizable>, it doesn’t make anything better.

It just makes everything worse.

To be clear.

Yes.

You still need to make decisions based on logic and practicality.

No.

Not all decisions need to be analyzed so hard.

In fact. That is probably the main reason all this ‘starting over’ stuff is bullshit.

Decisions in life, and in general, are iterative. One decision changes the entire context within which the next decision is to be made.

And that insight alone kills the concept of starting over.

Once you have begun your puzzle you need to just, well, go.  Maybe not forward … but going. You really cannot go back.

—

“As I reflect back on the lion’s share of my life, it feels I have been fighting a battle I couldn’t win.

It always seemed my opponent was one step ahead of me.

Only when I surrendered, and started my life all over, did I discover that my opponent was me. “

williamchapmanwritings

—

With all due respect to williamchapmanwritings, you never really surrender in Life. You actually “reflect on the move.”

How do I know that?

Because if we didn’t we would constantly be run over. And most of us don’t have tread marks just dents from where we get bumped by Life. Our self, in some form or fashion, keeps going despite the dents.

Which leads me to self.

Our opponent in the battle in Life is really … well … me. Us. Me, myself & I.

The whole trite concept of ‘starting over’ is 99% of the time all about self.

What does that mean? There is no starting over, just adapting.

I imagine this also means Life is exactly what you make it out to be.

You.

No one else.

And maybe that is why there is no starting over. There is no rebirth and there is no new childhood, there is just “where do I go from here?” Yeah. “I” go from here. Don’t start over, just start going. Ponder.

===

    Clara: You’re going to help me?

The Doctor: Well, why wouldn’t I help you?

    Clara: Because of what I just did, I just…

    The Doctor: You betrayed me. You betrayed my trust. You betrayed our friendship. You betrayed everything…you let me down!

    Clara: Then why are you helping me?

    The Doctor: Why?

Do you think that I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?

Doctor Who

===

Well. We live in a world in which trust, in general, is under the gun and cynicism seem to be the foundation for more people than optimism. But possibly more concerning than the diminishing trust in institutions and people, it also seems that there is a thread of lack of forgiveness between parties who disagree. This is concerning because it creates a disproportionately wider gap between people making it less than likely someone leans over and offers a helping hand.

That is why the Dr. Who conversation resonated with me.

I tend to believe we have lost sight of why we disagree with people. And by doing so we create an unbridgeable gap between people.

What I mean by this is <using business terms> we confuse vision, strategy and tactics.

I can hate someone’s strategy and I can be sickened by someone’s tactics, but, in general, those same people most likely have the same vision that I do.

what I mean by that is almost any person who leads or is invested in community in any form or fashion creates intentions, or defines purpose, based on a vision for ‘something better.’

As a corollary, to make the point, this doesn’t translate into ‘destroying who & what we are’ it simply means the intention is to make everyone be the best they can be, create a sense of greatness <whatever great can be>, enable better opportunities and create better lives. Now. We may vehemently disagree on some things on HOW to attain that, but we should vehemently agree on better.

That said, an example.

I bet in any given election year I could gather all American presidential candidates around a table and I believe I would have had a 100% consensus on that thought. Let me add in the current president, his cabinet, the heads of the congress and I bet you I would still have a 100% consensus.

The contentiousness begins when discussion arrives at definitions, strategy & tactics.

But today I am not talking about politics, I am simply making a point that 99% of us have the same vision. The same desires. The same dream <in a larger sense>.

The same hopes.

To me this translates into “same intent.”

Therefore, I may not agree with how someone decides to get to all this sameness, but I embrace their intent. Yeah. I agree with what we want to do.

This is an important thought <at least to me>.

Because the moment you do not think about this, or maybe even believe it, you begin judging people based on their tactics and not their intent.

Why is this important?

Well.

Forgiveness is a big complex ‘mucho importante’ decision.

Do I really want to base my forgiveness on something as small as a tactic?

Don’t I really want the burden of forgiveness to reside on the ultimate important aspect of ‘intent’?

Yea, yeah, yeah. Someone is going to say that good intentions are not enough. My point is that actions you disagree with are not necessarily bad <or wrong>, they are just things you … well … disagree with.

But they are tactics and actions and behaviors taken with the same purpose you desire – something better – just not the tactics and actions and behaviors you may have been thinking would be the right things to focus on.

Look.

I vehemently disagree with people on a variety of things. Even some good friends. But I realize I am mostly seething internally over the fact it is tactics, and maybe sometimes strategy, but rarely their ultimate intent & purpose.

So. Even though I am seething, maybe incredibly frustrated, possibly even horrified with something I may have heard … why wouldn’t I lend them a hand if they were in trouble?

I desire to save the well-intended. I desire to save the people who see the bigger purpose.

I do so because they want the same thing I do.

I do so because they want what is ultimately the most important thing — something better than what is.

Which leads me to suggest this.

In all the bombastic rhetoric drowning out any sane rational thoughts whispering as persistently as they can in our heads, it would behoove us to look around with an open mind on occasion. Take a look at the people we most vehemently disagree with and explore their intent. Maybe sit back and not just question the ultimate purpose but seek out the points of agreement (even if they only take on some vague-ish forms).

I think we would see more in common than we seem to see today. And, yeah, some really important BIG common agreements. And, I would like to point out, if you recognize something in common it is much easier to work together and help each other than when you hate each other so much you would not do either.

Just take some time and listen a little bit closer. There are some really nutso things being said in today’s world but even some of the nuts desire the same thing you do, its just how they want to go about it that may seem nuts. They may even seem like they are betraying some basic principles, but, maybe if we cared a bit more their betrayal would matter a bit less and, well, we will help. Ponder.

=========

“Stop going to your #dark place.  The older you get, the more happiness becomes a conscious decision you have to make every day.

You can’t expect to automatically feel good when you wake up.  It’s something you have to work toward.”

Ryan O’Connell

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“The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get.”

Joanna Hoffman

=======================

So. When we get up in the morning it is a decision … it is a decision to not stay down.

In fact.

Every day you decide to get up you have either consciously, or subconsciously, decided that Life was not going to keep you down.

In the grander scheme of things that sure seems like a pretty important decision.

And, yet, we don’t invest a shitload of energy thinking about it.

Most of us think of facing each day as a responsibility.

Kind of a basic survival duty.

I imagine we do so mostly as a sanity tactic.

For if you stay down … don’t get up … you are inevitably faced with the decisions you have made up to that point <as well as the fact you will not be able to pay the bills>. And, to refer to my first quote, this means as you get older you have more and more decisions you will have to face.

Time is rarely your friend with regard to contemplating your decisions.

I say that because, well, because here is what almost 99% of us do on a daily basis — we decide what we will cede in terms of what we know, or believe, is the right thing to do.

Yeah.

We compromise a little on ‘principles.’ Well. At least our principles.

Sure.

Most of the time it is okay because the organizational, the business, principles give us some slightly-to-more-expansive boundaries from which we can assess what we should do or not do.

But even within that “okay space” we are far too often trapped in the wretched hollow space of a decision of ‘what will you surrender today for the hope of the win tomorrow’ <and the tomorrow may just be something somewhere beyond the horizon>.

Some may call this ‘moral relativism.’ They would most likely be the intellectuals, philosophers and people who don’t really do shit for work in their Life.

For most of us everyday schmucks it is a combination of survival “if I don’t do this I will not get that” and dreamer “I will go ahead and do this because someday………….<fill in blank> “

As we face each day we realize that we are facing more than that day. We realize our actions can suppress our ultimate dreams or they can empower a dream to come to Life, well, not today, but some day in the future.

Now.

None of us really know our future and what it holds so the decision today takes on some sense of urgency of ‘well, this MAY be really fucking important with regard to my survival/dream so I gotta do what I gotta do.’

Whew.

Today can look really huge with regard to tomorrow in this case.

I chuckled <a little painfully> as I typed that last sentence.

I am reminded of what President Bush said in 2008: “abandoned free market principles to save the free market.”

On a daily basis we are faced with questions of “what we will abandon to save our future & our dreams.”

And we do what we feel like we have to do, using principles mostly not as a “stop or go” sign, but rather as some slightly nebulous guardrails we can maneuver around within.

And then we leave to face another day.

When taken on a daily basis it is relatively easy to face the day.

When viewed over a longer term it can become relatively difficult to face the next day.  Maybe that is why most of us get up and face the day each & every day – the alternative doesn’t seem so appealing. Maybe that is the ‘dark place’ that we know is there and avoid it the best that we can.

Here is what I know for sure.

Every day you face you have one authority — the authority over your actions and attitudes and behaviors.

You have the authority over what you will do and will not do.

You have the authority over your principles and morals and whether you will abandon them or not.

Uhm.

You should note one key thing on the whole abandoning thing.

Once abandoned is always abandoned.

There is no true ‘just this once’ abandoning of principles. Once crumpled principles are forever wrinkled.

And, yet, it seems like each day we are faced with some choice to surrender our moral authority and cede the principled battlefield under the belief that by doing so “the day will be saved.”

How wrong that thought is. For in surrendering that day we will have already been lost.

Anyway.

Maybe getting up every day has nothing to do with moral relativism and more about just doing the shit you need to do.

Maybe we really are just cucumbers with anxiety.

But.

Maybe it is a little something more we should think about on occasion. Because maybe we are really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get and in our terror as we face each day we lose the one thing which makes our dreams look small – our moral authority & principles.

Ponder.

=====================

fearlessly-fiona:

“I’m an adult” I whisper as I try not to panic while I’m filling in all those forms that I don’t understand.

======================

“Liminal” means “relating to a transitional stage” or “occupying a position at both sides of a boundary.”

==========================

Ok.

First. Liminal spaces are real spaces.

Liminal spaces are throughways from one space to the next. Places like rest stops, stairwells, trains, parking lots, waiting rooms, airports feel weird when you’re in them because their existence is not about themselves, but the things before and after them. They have no definitive place outside of their relationship to the spaces you are coming from and going to. Reality feels altered here because we’re not really supposed to be in them for a long time for think about them as their own entities, and when we do they seem odd and out of place.

Second. I plan on discussing liminal spaces as intangible mental spaces.

If you feel that you are anxiously floating in the inbetween perhaps you are in The Liminal Space. The word “liminal” comes from the Latin word limens, which means, “threshold.”

“… it is when you have left the tried and true, but have not yet been able to replace it with anything else.

Okay.

Mentally this in-between is a space in which we have lost context and, uhm, uh oh, our brains love context <and hate lack of context>. This ‘hate’ translates into discomfort, maybe some anxiety and absolutely an innate mental desire to get the hell out of that space and into some space where we can reengage some context.

Rationally we know these spaces are irrational and we can mentally stifle the anxiety … for a while. Because no matter how good we are at stifling it there will always be an underlying sense of uneasiness. In business you either figure out how to manage the anxiety or you are never gonna make it in the business world.

Why? Because a career is riddled with these moments and spaces.

All that said.

I think we, as people, enter liminal spaces in our heads all the time. I don’t mean every minute I just mean on a fairly consistent basis we lose some context and enter into some wretched mental in-between space where, well, we feel uncomfortable. We feel uncomfortable because we are mentally in some transition space from which we cannot envision what will be there <outside this wretched space> when we actually find the exit we can leave the space by.

Yeah.

Unfortunately, while we seek an exit to get out of the liminal space we also feel uncomfortable because <insert a ‘shit’ here mentally> the next step may actually place us into a tangible “unknown” place.

Not only does that suck, but we do not like that it sucks. It is a weird combination of tangible and intangible and  shitload of unknown.

It feels tangible as in you walk in some blank-ish vanilla type room and actually exit by some door which appear at some point. That part we may not like but we can semi-understand.

And, yet, at the same time this space is truly 100% intangible <lacking context> which creates a sense of instability and warped perception space. I imagine a lot of people flail about a bit in this space trying to not only find context or something tangible to hold onto, but also a frickin’ door to get out of this wretched liminal space. All the while we flail about in a space which naturally encourages some confusion and a lot of “things seem off” feelings. I would argue part of our angst is we seek some one-dimensionality in this space. What i mean by that is our natural inclination is to seek some linear path <this & that> to get us from what feels like it should be “here to there.” But the truth is liminal spaces, in their vastness, are multidimensional spaces in which the really important doors open up not on some simplistic one-dimensional pathway but rather as a combination of dimensional fragments put together in some way that unlocks an unseen door.

Which leads me to ‘Worse’. It not only feels wrong, but feels like something is going to go wrong. You cannot really put your finger on it <although most of us try desperately to try to put a finger on something> and it increases anxiety.

Sometimes that anxiety is high and sometimes it is just a bothersome niggling in the head, but it is anxiety nonetheless <and it is uncomfortable>. The anxiety occurs because reality is not really being altered, but it appears slightly warped. It is kind of like looking through an imperfect piece of glass – where things can look a little fuzzy or odd. Its kind of like time has warped a little and you are coming and going at the exact same time where in the blur of the transition your brain is suggesting “this is not good … this is not normal” and you desperately want to move on, but cannot find that frickin’ exit.

All that sounds horrible.

Oh. And it sounds particularly horrible if we are talking about the business world. The fact is that business people are more often than not judged on how well, and how quickly, they can navigate the mental liminal space.  We, in business, don’t really talk about it much but a lot of the shit we do is transitioning from the known to some version of known/unknown. That’s kind of what managers and leaders do. And it is certainly a main component of shifting from a young less-responsible employee to an older more experienced responsible employee/manager. Heck. Its change management 101.

Along the way the stepping stones are actually lily pads with differing expanses, dimensions & depths of water in between. You either navigate the transitions or drown in the liminal space.

Oh. And, yet, liminal spaces are also throughways to places of the imagination – kind of the construction sites of “what will be.”

We like that kind of shit. That’s ‘future’ and ‘hope of something better’ type stuff.

That thought helps us out a little. It helps because this isn’t the kind of stuff that gives any tangible context, but it does give us some fortitude to get through this space.

Anyway.

I admit. I love the whole concept of a liminal space and I do believe if more people not only learned to manage the anxiety & angst of a liminal space AND embraced the fact it was a valuable transitional space … well … we would be much more efficient & effective in business and in Life in gaining the more valuable “what could be’s” — which are what we all live for anyway.

Ponder.

===

“People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought, which they avoid.”

Søren Kierkegaard

===

Now that it appears the psycho-pathological liar, narcissistically crooked Trump will soon return to twitter to reintroduce his unique level of toxicity to the world I decided it was time to thank him.

Yeah. In his general absence from public rhetoric Trump has made me grateful for a variety of things.

I am reminded of the importance of competency.

I am reminded of the importance of dignity.

I am reminded of the value of integrity.

I am reminded of the importance of preparation.

I am reminded of the fact democracy is fragile.

I am reminded of the understanding that the freedom we enjoy in America is unique … and always embattled.

I am reminded of the importance of listening without judgement and judgement based on facts.

I am reminded of the fact that conspiracies have no factual basis and, yet, can be confused as such in a mainstream way.

I am reminded of the unfortunate truth that truth itself can be suffocated if:

1. a lie is big enough, or
2. the lies are relentless.

I am reminded of the ultimate truth: one person can make a difference … for good or for bad.

I am reminded of the importance of decency.

I am reminded of how strong a country is and how much bigger it is than one incredibly flawed & misguided individual.

I am grateful that Mr. Trump has reminded me of so many things I believe we had taken for granted.

And while I am grateful for so many things I found an awesome letter, written during his scorched earth morally vapid 2016 campaign, from someone online who is also grateful for a variety of things:

=====

Dear Mr Trump,

It’s taken me a while to realize this and to admit it, but I’m grateful to you.

For the past few months I’ve spent a good deal of time lamenting your campaign and the poison it has so effortlessly generated. I’ve watched our country imploding, our public discourse become polluted, our political climate grow ever more corrosive, and wrongly assumed you were to blame.

It’s only lately I’ve come to understand that you haven’t manufactured our current national ugliness—you’ve simply revealed it.

By saying the irresponsible, mean-spirited, ignorant things you say so freely and so frequently, you’ve given other like-minded people license to do the same.

You’ve opened up the floodgates for our corporate sewage to flow fully. People no longer conceal their vile mess, they now revel in it, they broadcast it and retweet it.

You’ve made bigotry and racism socially acceptable again and that has been a kind of twisted gift because it’s allowed me to really see people; not as they pretend to be on the surface—but in the very depths of their wounded, weaponized hearts.

Over and over as your campaign has persisted, your supporters would tell me that they like you because you “speak your mind”. It wasn’t until recently that I’ve realized that you speak their minds. You’ve given credence to their prejudices and made those prejudices go mainstream.

Thanks to the terrible ground you’ve broken, politicians, pastors, friends, and strangers, both in person and on social media now regularly out themselves as hateful, intolerant, and malicious—and they remind me just how close they are to me, just how deep the sickness in us runs, and just how far we have to go together.

You’ve emboldened people to be open about things they used to conceal for the sake of decorum, and though it turns my stomach, I know that this is the only way we can move forward; to have that cancerous stuff exposed fully so that it can be dealt with. Our progress as a nation is predicated on authentic dialogue, no matter how brutal and disheartening that dialogue is.

In other words, you’ve let us know what we’re really dealing with here and while it’s been rightly disturbing, it’s also been revelatory. That’s the thing about that kind of harsh light: you’re forced to see everything. Beauty and monstrosity equally illuminated.

Now don’t get me wrong, I think you’re the least qualified, least knowledgeable Presidential candidate we may ever have had participate this far into the process, and if you somehow were elected I’d fear gravely for the world my children would inherit—should it survive your Presidency at all. I believe you’re reckless, bitter, and completely reprehensible; the very worst kind of bully.

But whether you win or lose, you’ve already allowed me the blessing of Truth; about me, about you, about other candidates, about our nation.

And in the process you’ve also shown me that I am not alone in resisting you and this ugly thing you’ve revealed about us.

You’ve generated an equally loud, equally passionate response to it and this is where I find my hope these days.

I find it in those for whom equality isn’t just a cheap buzzword, it’s the most precious of hills to die on.

I find it in those people who refuse to be silent in the face of our impending shared regression.

I find it in those willing to be more bold in defending the inherent value of all people.

I find it in the growing army of those who will not tolerate hatred as a core American value.

I find it in those who reject violence as our default response to dissension.

I find it in the ever rising voice of people who will not let malice and bitterness represent them in the world.

Today I find my hope in those who, like me, will not be complicit in allowing bigotry and intolerance to become a source of national pride, because we’ve seen where that leads.

Yes, Mr Trump, you’ve unearthed our hidden sickness and you’ve allowed it to go viral.

You brought every awful thing about us out into the open.

And for this—I thank you.

=================

While I am constantly mortified by what Trump did to the presidential process, the presidency itself, democracy, America’s position in the world, and our constitutional rights & freedoms, I tend to believe one of the most egregious actions he did was by doing all of that lying  and destroying any semblance of the overall standard of respectful discourse a civilized society typically has.

But.

I am grateful he has come along and reminded us of  all these things by showing us what the bottom of the barrel looks like.

I am grateful for his avalanche of lies and half-truths, manipulations and peddling of fear because it reminds us all that truth and hope is actually a brighter vision.

I am grateful because his promise to recover the past in simplistic tripe it is ultimately shown as the fiction offered by ‘merchants of clever cheats.’

I am grateful he offers a simple formula “to make your target audience feel good by offering up what is a fantasy to them, but a horrendous injustice to others” because it permits those who know how to articulate the true complexity of reality to speak up.

And, mostly, I am grateful because you cannot solve a problem until you actually recognize a problem. And while he himself is a problem to be solved <which I assume Time itself will deal with> he has uncovered all the problems I have listed above which we should now put our big boy & girl pants on .. and solve.

I have said for years now with regard to Trump that there is really only one word to describe him and whatever he does – carnage. His only plan is to destroy everything in his way. and in his wake, as he sits in his lonely penthouse, i.e., carnage.

I even warned people that when he was finally gone from public office that the next president will be faced with dealing with that carnage.

And I actually thank him for this too.

Yeah. I do.

This will force a new generation of leaders to stand up, speak out and rebuild from the carnage.

This will force a new generation of leaders to, well, lead.

This will force a new generation of leaders to take what was broken and build anew.

This will force a new generation of leaders to embrace a belief that we are actually stronger together rather than apart, a group of people aligned is stronger than an individual focused on self interest and working together is essential to progress.

The strength of a country is defined in how it deals with its worst moments. Trump represents the worst, represented the worst and in his wake he left us with the worst. I say that because, well, he is coming back. Twitter is a megaphone for all his shit.

In closing.

Just a reminder of some Trump trash.

30,573 lies over his 4 year presidency. I begin there to head off any false equivalence, “all politicians lie”, because Trump was in a liar zone of his own.

Also.

-Trump university a sham and a scam and stole money from people

-regularly performed verbal fellatio on Putin

-Russia/ Putin considered him an Useful Idiot

-filed bankruptcy 6 times; sucks at running businesses

-indebted to Russian/ Chinese banks since US banks ceased lending to him

-couldn’t even turn profit running a casino; run out of town in Atlantic City

-claimed tax returns can’t be released due to IRS audit

-lied; IRS claims no rules against releasing tax returns

-lied about being a billionaire, value of his properties and wealth

-sued thousands of times for stiffing small businesses/ contractors/ workers

-said his own sacrifice on par with those of Gold Star families

-dodged draft by claiming bone spurs

-cannot remember which foot afflicted with bone spurs

-McCain was only a war hero because he was captured

-mocks NY Times reporter who has epilepsy

-gonna build a wall and Mexico will pay

-chummy with racists, White nationalists, KKK

-raised dumb sons who are chummy with White nationalists

-refused to repudiate David Duke/ KKK contingent of supporters

-surrounds himself with unhinged far-right advisors

-birther-in-chief

-directed campaign funds to his own businesses

-uses campaign media coverage as free infomercial for his new hotel/properties

-tells blatant lies and denies lies even with video evidence

-often flip-flops within hours or on same day

-needs handlers to keep him from saying crazy things

-has thin skin, keeps Nixon-like tabs on perceived enemies

-said maybe US shouldn’t honor NATO treaties

-said we should have stolen Iraq/ ME oil after Iraq War

-sued for housing discrimination against Blacks, lost but denies guilt

-lied about weight and height so as not be tagged as obese

-used charity money as slush fund to settle lawsuit judgements

-used charity money to buy tacky painting of himself

-said his ’80s man-whoring was his personal Vietnam

-cray cray right-wing Supreme Court appointees affect policy for next 30 years

-disparaged top Generals as dumb and embarrassing

-knows more about ISIS than the Generals

-possible sociopathic/ psychopathic/ narcissistic personality disorder

-posed as own publicist; bragged about imaginary sex life with celebrities

-borderline anti-vaxxer: lied about a child getting autism 1 week after being vaccinated

-constantly says global warming a hoax; denied it in debate

In the end.

Giving Trump a megaphone when he is a con man, fake, pathological liar, amoral bully, incoherent word salad deliverer, seems like it is not a good idea for society in general. But. Thank you Mr. Trump for reminding me to get my head back in the game.

=====

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard.

Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them.

I was so preposterously serious in those days.

Lightly, lightly – it’s the best advice ever given me. So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling… “

Aldous Huxley

=====

Life truths.

Hard and lightly.

Haste with patience.

Forward diagonally.

Happy and sad.

Success and failure.

Right and wrong.

Thinking and doing.

Dreams and hard work.

Whew. This means that the truly great things in Life may be a coin you can put in your pocket — a coin made up of two sides and two faces.

Yeah. Life is usually a combination of opposites fighting a tug of war moment to moment. I bet no one told you that when you were growing up.

Far too often we are told the secret to life is one thing.

Far too often someone is not telling is the truth <or maybe they don’t really know the secret to life?>.

Th truth is Life <and business also> is a wonderful, maddening blob of inconsistency.

The only way to survive , and not be totally boring, inept or a hermit, is to steal a little of something from both sides and do your best to proportion it all out in the end.

Proportional?

I need some sadness to recognize true joy <only I certainly don’t want to dwell on sadness nor walk around as Happy the Clown every minute of the day>.

I want a leader who is energetic and demanding and cajoling, pushing, shoving, pulling, inspiring people toward a horizon < but I want the moments of idle strength and compassion intertwined>.

I want to work hard … so hard the muscles, brain and/or physical, are strained and hurt … and get to maybe get a glimpse of one of my dreams on occasion <so I can dream a little when not working hard>.

I want people to play hard and play to win <in any endeavor> … but do so with grace in victory & loss, with sportsmanship & fairness and respect for the game.

I want, well, it doesn’t matter what I want. Pick your ‘hard-lightly’ Life combination. I guarantee you will find the most interesting people, most interesting experiences, most interesting moments, most interesting anythings are a reflection of this ying-yang combination. Life is meant to be lived, and experienced, hard & lightly.

Now. By the way.

Just because Life is meant to be lived this way doesn’t mean it is easy to actually live it that way. Living hard, or living lightly, is not only addictive, but also often generates a sense of ‘lostness’ when shelved for a bit.

Why lostness?

Well. It is mostly fear that we will not refind or regain it therefore we hesitate to ever let it go from the way we currently live our Life.

So what do we do? We ‘take a break.’

We ‘get away from it all.’ In other words instead of seeking some ‘how we actually live’ balance in our lives we just step away from the way we live our Life by simply not going lightly <if we typically go hard> or not going go hard <if we typically go lightly> and we don’t do anything other than how we live our Life so, ultimately, we just choose to do nothing to ‘recharge.’

I would suggest that you don’t need to ‘take a break’ to recharge, but rather if you seek the proportional ‘yang’ to your ‘ying’, well, you will find additional purpose as well as your ‘ying’ takes on an entirely new image n your eyes & mind.

• *** note: proportional versus balance: I purposefully use proportional rather than balance because on an individual, person to person, basis it is rarely a 50/50 split – even over time. everyone customizes their life between hard & lightly as is appropriate to their personality, ambition and life desires. once again, this is rarely 50/50 and everyone should just seek what their optimal proportional mix is.

Regardless, just approaching Life one way means you miss out on what is most interesting in life – going hard & lightly.

Aw shit. Look. All I really know if that if you can figure out how to go hard and tread lightly at the same time, you will most likely be successful in business & in Life. You will most likely be appreciated, respected, sometimes liked and certainly not hated. I know … I know … the ‘tread lightly’ part is really really hard if you like to live Life going hard.

But.

As I just told someone go hard for the things you want and dreams you seek to reach toward and if you continue to do these things for you, knowing that your moral compass is set correctly and that your instincts with regard to ‘what is right’ versus ‘what is wrong’ are good, you will be happier and the people around you will rarely be disappointed.

Ponder.

—-

==

“There are times in life when people must know when not to let go.

Balloons are designed to teach small children this.”

Terry Pratchett

————–

Well. I have written about how difficult it is for people, in business & Life, to let go of things so much I am not sure I can find any new words to share on that topic.

In fact if you google “reasons to not let go” you get nothing. Nada. You get jack shit on the topic.

All you get is page after page of ‘reasons to let go.’

And, yet, there are certainly times to know when to not let go.

To be clear, a purposeful ‘not let go’ is a different difficulty for us. While not letting go is something that is mostly based on some version of fear or doubt, knowing when to not let go of something seems to be more about our difficulty in discerning what is important, or good, and what is unimportant, or bad.

In fact. I think part of the ‘not letting go’ difficulty resides in how we learned to hold on in childhood <the balloon thing>.

We learn very early on that when you let go of something good it floats away never to be seen again. So we have learned to hold on a tightly as possible to anything that could be construed as good <note: even if it is really a crappy balloon>.

We have become so good at it we are almost proud of not letting go. Therefore the problem isn’t our ability to actually hold on … it is choosing what to really not let go of.

Not letting go is a complex decision compounded by the fact we are complex people.

Why does the complexity matter? Because there is no formula. No ‘rules of not letting go.’

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Some things are obvious. The self stuff, the character stuff, the ‘who you are as a person’ stuff you don’t let go of. They are good balloons. But if you are not careful, after a while, you have so many balloons you can’t discern the good ones from the bad ones. Which leads me to suggest I sometimes believe the ‘what not to let go’ choice is an acquired intuition thing.

Yup. I just typed acquired and intuition side by side.

I like to remind people that you are not borne with good intuition. You may be borne with a good intuition muscle, but experience strengthens the muscle and it takes some time & experience to ‘acquire’ the intuition necessary to ‘not let go’ of the right things.

Regardless. I suggest intuition because unless one of the balloons has lost all its air and has sunk to the ground you are choosing amongst a shitload of balloons that maybe all look pretty good to you.

This may sound crazy because balloons float above you and should seem obvious at all times, but the connections to many of the balloons in your life are actually like links of a chain underwater.

==

“The moment of truth, the sudden emergence of a new insight, is an act of intuition.

Such intuitions give the appearance of miraculous flushes, or short-circuits of reasoning. In fact they may be likened to an immersed chain, of which only the beginning and the end are visible above the surface of consciousness.

The diver vanishes at one end of the chain and comes up at the other end, guided by invisible links.”

Arthur Koestler

==

You see the balloons. Okay. You see some of them.

But the strings get all tangled up and you cannot tell which string to let go of <because you are not sure which balloon will go away> and which one to hold on to. Some of the choices you make as you look at the strings are intuitive. And given some time and experience I imagine the string feels a little different in your hand as you pluck it out from all the others. That is this version of intuition.

So. One of the things I admire most in people is consistent great intuition and how they manage what to not let go of.

It is an interesting characteristic to assess when you meet people and is fairly easy because you can just look up and see the balloons they carry with them.

So, in the end, maybe the balloon metaphor is bad, or maybe I simply overused it, but suffice it to say that while there is a lot of free advice on ‘letting go’, there isn’t a whole shitload of advice on ‘what to not let go of.’

I think it is obvious that there are certainly some ‘be yourself’ characteristics that you should never let go of <although figuring out what to not let go of as you try and improve yourself is not easy either>.
What is less obvious is the other stuff in your life. Experiences, knowledge, even people.

I don’t have any answers today. Just questions. And maybe some prompting that this is something we should think about a little more.

Most letting go advice online is vapid and a waste of time <albeit with good intent>.

I don’t have any advice for ‘not let go’ other than think about it. We all learn to hold on to balloons because they represent freedom and hope and good things waiting above us. Paradoxically, despite the fact it may appear like they should be let free so we can benefit from them, it is actually those that should be the things we hold on to and not let go of. Ponder.

=================

“Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it.”

Vincent van Gogh

===============

mener une vie normale <French>

to lead a normal life

================

Benjamin Franklin:

“Human happiness comes not from infrequent pieces of good fortune, but from the small improvements to daily life.”

===============

“When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.”

Sigmund Freud

===========

Well.

Let’s just say “normal” gets a really bad rap. It constantly has to fight off “boring” and “same as” and “routine” and … well … let’s just say a shitload of ‘not-so-positive’ sounding words.

I mean, c’mon, is normal really that frickin’ bad?

And what hell is ‘normal’, as in a normal life, anyway?

Anyway. I imagine, as with most things in Life, normal is about balance or ‘proportional’.

Yeah, yeah, yeah … I know a shitload of people will suggest that ‘normal’ is defined by the individual and how they view life but, in general, at one end of the  ‘how to live your life’ spectrum is wacko eccentric person and the other end is bland-milquetoast-boring-to-tears person.

Most of us reside somewhere in the middle of all that. As a corollary to that thought, and tying it to proportional. I would say most of us have individual aspects which reside very very close to both ends of the spectrum WITHIN every day and all we do. In other words, we do thousands of things on a daily basis and some are purposefully bland and some are delightfully spontaneously absurd. Its that mixture which makes us who we are.

Anyway. I tend to believe the problem is in how we most often have this discussion.

When we talk about living a ‘normal’ life it almost seems destined for some boredom and certainly when you decide to sit back with some self-reflection, uhm …, it will most likely be generously dipped in some disappointment. Then, on the other hand, it seems like a choice to live an ‘anything but normal’ life it almost seems destined for some sanity challenges and certainly some self-reflection generously dipped in some discouragement.

Yikes. So your choice is either disappointment or discouragement.

Look. None of us really want to be normal all the time. We want to spice it up a little and maybe do something not so normal for us <albeit, it could be fairly tame, or absurdly reckless, in other people’s eyes>. It is that little choice to ‘step away from what we normally do and think’ that kind of gets us in trouble.

Why? Because most times we ‘step away’ by ‘being spontaneous.’

<note: spontaneous has a dubious relationship with ‘something different than the normal’>

Whew. Truth be told spontaneity sounds awesome <in concept>, but more often than not disappointing. Not many people point this out but spontaneity actually sucks because anything “abnormal” or “not normal” is a great concept, but has a nasty habit of creating more problems than it is worth.

Truth be told routines <which is a characteristic of ‘normal life’> do a shitload to help establish our day-to-day ‘normal’ with a nice side benefit that it encourages us to believe we do have some self-discipline  <because the alternative is that we start thinking we live a completely chaotic undisciplined life>.

Yeah. a lot of these routines look really minor and really mundane if you sit down and think them through.

My advice? Don’t. Don’t think them through. Just let them occur as naturally as breathing because these stupid little things tend to create a larger sense of rhythm or normalcy in your life. And, yeah, even eccentric nutjobs incorporate some ‘normal’ routines in their daily Life.

But here is where proportionality enters the discussion because we want both <although in today’s world it seems like there is no in between>.

It may seem weird, but I tend to believe no one’s sole ambition in Life is to be viewed solely as ‘normal.’ And, yet, we can live a pretty frickin’ good Life ‘normally.’ In fact. Our normal most likely incorporates some fairly ‘abnormal’, or let’s call them ‘unique features’, aspects. Most of us actually incorporate some unique shit into our lives which are simply reflections of our personality uniqueness. But because they are extensions of who we are we overlook them as being ‘normal.’

Let’s face it.

Normal has a shitty reputation.

And it should not.

============

“I don’t really want to become normal, average, standard. I want merely to gain in strength, in the courage to live out my life more fully, enjoy more, experience more.

I want to develop even more original and more unconventional traits.”

Anaïs Nin

===========

This isn’t about ‘fitting in’ or some rigid code of conduct or even seeking approval in what you do. This is about doing shit that makes you happy assuming ‘happy’ means you haven’t been:

<a> laughed at as a fool – just laughed at for having fun,

<b> stared at as if you belong in some loony bin – just stared at because they know you are enjoying yourself , or

<c> doing something insanely stupid just to gain some attention.

Yeah. Sometimes the shit you do may be out of the mainstream, but 99% of the time it is not unacceptable to everyone. It is just is not the normal everyday 100% of the time shit people see or hear.

Whether you like it or not, suggesting ‘normal’ is completely self defined is … well … stupid.

Yes. You should have your own way of seeing the world and the life you’re living.

Yes. You should feel it is normal <as long as it is not a ‘statement’ but rather an natural extension of your ‘self’>.

Yes. You should accept the idea that other people may feel differently about your version of normal.

All that said here is where I think normal and abnormal go into conflict.

Yes. You should understand that normal is actually defined by some standard operating procedures of the people, society & culture as a whole.

And, no, I am not suggesting some of the wacky crap society thrusts upon an individual <society tells me how I should be stuff> but rather the fact cultures, civilizations in a broader perspective, define some accepted rules of behavior – some “what I should do” stuff.

Let’s call them ‘core life action basics.’ These are some normal things which everyone should do and think in a normal day and a normal life.

Here is the good news for people who balk at ‘normal.’

The great thing about culture is it tends to give an individual a lot of room to expand upon these things. You can go about your life wearing whatever clothes you want and saying a bunch of different words as personal expression beyond the core. I call that ‘window dressing stuff.’ In other words I can dress up my core ‘normality crap’ in pretty much anything I want and express it with almost any words I want. The trouble mostly revolves around the fact that some individuals infringe upon the core, change the core and sometimes do things which do not meet what most people would accepts as accepted normal behavior.

Here is not just a Life truth but a civilization truth: a culture cannot permit that ‘abnormal normal’ to become normalized. While we often suggest it takes courage to express yourself in some ‘not-so-normal’ ways it actually takes even more courage to defend core normality.

=========

“My darling girl, when are you going to realize that being normal is not necessarily a virtue? It rather denotes a lack of courage.”

Practical Magic

============

Anyway. When it comes to this topic the bravest people in the world are not the ones who stand out through self-expression of self-identity, even if that identity is ‘not the normal’, but rather the people who unflinchingly defend normal core beliefs & behaviors and unflinchingly express it in whatever personal identity way they want.

Far too often we slot people on one side or the other where, in truth, we should be also slotting people into that third more significant very broad <or it should be broad> slot.

I imagine the problem with that is that those people are not interesting enough to make splashy headlines nor are they boring enough to be masticated for being milquetoast. And, yet, they were the bravest of us all. They chose to be normal & not-so-normal and fought relentlessly for both. Normal may be a paved road, but it still can be a really interesting road.

Ponder. Ponder being normal and celebrating it.

==================

just-shower-thoughts:

On my headstone, I think I want, “No one deserved death more.” That way, people will research my life and find nothing interesting, then actually think that for wasting their time.

—

======

“The combination of technology and capitalism has given us a world that really feels out of control.”

Jonathon Franzen

=====

 “Communism forgets that life is individual. Capitalism forgets that life is social, and the Kingdom of Brotherhood is found neither in the thesis of Communism nor the antithesis of capitalism but in a higher synthesis.”

Martin Luther King 1967

====

Why am I writing my umpteenth article on capitalism?

I keep seeing research in the United States that says something like 50% of people under the age of 30 do not believe in capitalism.

Ok. Let’s get this out of the way:

Capitalism is good.

Capitalism is not bad.

But that does not mean there isn’t always a tension between good and bad in the soul and system of capitalism. It is an incredible wealth-creating & life bettering mechanism and, yet, left to its own devices can run off the tracks <morally and financially>. Capitalism needs guard rails or, as some smart guy called it,“embedded countervailing power.” It needs guard rails because humans will be humans.

When business is good, human beings become greedy.

When business is bad, human beings become fearful.

And I would like to remind everyone that culture is created by, uhm, human beings. I say that not to be a smart ass but to suggest there is a real culture war in America, maybe the world, and it is occurring in the business world. I purposefully use ‘culture’ because it has to do with some ethics or moral fortitude, some personal responsibility and some pragmatic hope for the future. In fact, if we fix how capitalism works <systemic & infrastructure aspects>, the net result is addressing income inequality, wage stagnation and overall economic prosperity as well as some individual “self-stuff” like meaning and mattering <kind of all the big societal issues we tend to discuss>.

Anyway.

A moment on the role of government.

It is both a fallacy to believe Government is not the problem nor believe they are the solution. We have a mixed economy < I stole that term from Foreign Policy magazine>.

Capitalism is not supposed to be a system which is about maximizing corporate profit at the expense of the citizenry. Therefore, effective governance curbs greed objectives & regulates capitalism so that it bends the arc of the system to encourage the good things it is supposed to do <innovate & bring prosperity to many> and doesn’t do the bad things <be driven solely by greed & self interest>.

Let’s be clear.

America is not based on an unfettered capitalism nor has it ever been <nor was it ever meant to be by the founding fathers>. It is a managed capitalism system <always has been — I say that to head off any of the ‘government is too involved’ today talking heads>.

Government attempts, sometimes better than other times, to put reins on humans within a capitalistic society.  Let’s say it’s something like giving enough range for wild horses to run free, but not to trample the gardens and lawns of the surrounding areas. This ‘fettered’ managed capitalism idea is not perfect. It ebbs and flows and morphs into different shapes as time passes, but it IS an effective economic and political system.

I would suggest that, while polarizing, capitalism is balanced – when balanced.

That said. A better version of capitalism really is not dependent upon governance and laws <and putting banks out of business>, but rather personal decisions, choices & responsibility.  Yes. I just suggested <again> that people, not the system, will define the better version of capitalism. Adam Smith suggested the three pillars of a society are: prudence, looking after oneself as best as one is able; justice, keeping the law of the land; and beneficence, caring for others and society where there is need. Yeah. Adam Smith deceived in the collective interest beyond self interest.

Clearly our main issue is not how to survive on true scarcity <that is not a perceived scarcity or a “less than” scarcity> but rather how to live well with plenty.

To date we have chased double digit growth and higher GDP all the while seeking higher material happiness <sometimes confused with higher standard of living>.

We have become societally insatiable. In other words, we cannot have enough and are reaching what Hirsch called “the social limits of growth“.

This funny Maslow chart reflects that as additional personal needs are fulfilled it induces new needs <which we, as humans, constantly improve ourselves in order to further attain these ‘self actualization’ activities>.  Think about this from a non-funny sustenance perspective in growing from poverty to non poverty <but the dimension perspective will always reside in the human mind>. This is also called ‘hedonic adaptation.’

Yes. Capitalism has certainly vastly improved our lives and our means to live. But it has also fed this insatiability.

Some guy named Sandel wrote in “what money can’t buy … the moral limits of markets:”

• the more things money can buy the more the lack of it hurts.
• buying and selling can change the way a good is perceived (he used “giving children money as incentive to read a book may make reading a chore rather than a simple pleasure”).

This all leads to an overall attitude that endless <and double digit> growth is essential to maintain and improve our quality of life. While I will not go into the detailed debate … that is simply not true <this is the typical efficiency versus effectiveness argument>.

Now. All that said. The issue is really about the attitudes & attributes we are attaching to capitalism.

As I share some thoughts to try and address the young’s lack of belief in capitalism I will lead with two things:

• Communism promises to make everyone equally rich and instead makes everyone equally poor.
  

• Youth thinks it invents the world. Maturity respects the world it finds.

Suffice it to say that Capitalism is becoming some evil entity in the minds of many young people. In addition, aspects of other ideologies <communism being one> are being used relatively flippantly as ‘better than’ what is occurring within capitalism. I actually believe it is a lack of understanding, but it is also quite possible there is a deeper lack of faith with capitalism.

If you step back you can see why the young <and the shallow thinkers> feel this way:

• Real unemployment is nearly in double digits and young people are struggling to gain a positive financial foothold.
• On average, according to Gallup, Americans believe that 50 cents of every dollar the federal government spends is wasted. Democrats, who are supposed to believe in big government, guess that 41 cents of every federal dollar is wasted. Republicans think it is 54 cents, and independents put the number at 55 cents in the dollar.
• A poll found that most Americans would rather their government did less. Some 57% said it was doing too many things that were better left to individuals and businesses. Only 38% thought it should do more.

And many people have genuine complaints. Many working-class men have lost their jobs. Those who are still employed have seen their wages stagnate/decrease. And overall they don’t trust government not to make it worse.

This is a sad state of affairs <for government who CAN make shit happen> because regulations can positively address stagnation & inequality without intervening in entrepreneurial decisions or in the price/profit mechanism. The harsh black & white truth no one wants to say is that regulation is what makes free markets, well, free <free markets cannot sustain themselves and constraints actually benefit fresh ideas>.

Anyway.

I have been thinking about capitalism for a while nudging my mind toward discussing morals and character <society & culture>. In doing so I found it interesting to think about Schumpeter when addressing the youth capitalism challenge.

• what Joseph Schumpeter called ‘the cultural contradictions’ of Capitalism

One of the cultural contradictions <I believe he outlined 5> was Rationality. In that Capitalism encourages rationality in behavior and that culture creates, and demands, a natural conflict by insisting on some ‘irrational’ behavior. Rationality comes to life as the “maximization” of particular interests of individuals and groups. This same rationalization concept then bleeds into both personal lives <family & home> and ultimately becomes embodied in some form or fashion into cultural forms. Children become quasi economic assets <or their rearing incorporates rational ‘maximization’ theory embedded in capitalism>. At its extreme, maximization bleeds into soulless wealth and extreme consumption thereby substituting saving and societal salvation. Oddly, but fairly, Schumpeter suggests consumption wins against accumulation. This leads to a certain diminishing of the desirability of incomes above a certain level. At the same time, however, when the breaks of certain values associated with ethical or religious tradition fail <called the sophrosyne: Greek philosophical term meaning healthy-mindedness and from there self-control or moderation guided by knowledge and balance. Roman poet Juvenal later interpreted sophrosyne as “mens sana in corpore sano” – “a healthy mind in a healthy body”> individuals and groups come into natural conflict with capitalism. The basic human instinct is one of core values <in some degree within everyone> and therefore the natural contradiction forces some balance within capitalism.

This means that the irrational components of behavior are critical for capitalism to emerge and withstand rational arguments especially when based on long term considerations.

But. That said.

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“This is the genius and the Achilles’ heel of American culture. We … have a strong belief in self-determination and agency, even when our expectations fly in the face of reality,”

Katherine Newman, who studies social mobility

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Capitalism in America is not functioning efficiently for a variety of reasons, but that doesn’t make it bad.

Which leads me to the issue of Confused capitalism … or being confused by capitalism.

No matter how altruistic and non-materialistic you may be the psychological issue is simple — as we sit perched on a stool at the bar of society where we can scan the room and see the danger of those who have nothing or little … as well as those who have the most <and lots of most>.

If the majority of us begin to look like we are either nearing the dangerously ‘nothing people’ or, contrarily, appear to be too distant from those who ‘have the most’ <no matter what your exact status is> we get nervous if not angry. Materialism, culturally, is therefore naturally cyclical in that it will always seek to balance itself or find some equilibrium. For we always ‘want’, but most of us want it to be within the realm of ‘hopeful that we can get more’ … without appearing too greedy. Hence that is fairness <in an irrational sense>.

In other words.

Give me a chance for something more than I have and give me more and I won’t be too greedy.

While everyone can debate the role of money with regard to people’s happiness it is true that economic health does make people happier <more secure, more comfortable, more sustenance>.

This actually means that free-market capitalism is not devoted to integrity and a reliance on trust but rather economic growth. And this suggests the people need to be regulated.

Why do we balk at regulation?

The US has always been a wide-open, free-wheeling country, with a high tolerance for big winners and big losers as the price of equal opportunity in a dynamic society. Even though the US brand of capitalism has rougher edges than other democracies, most citizens inherently believe it is worth the trade-off for growth and mobility. Yet, at the same time, while we like the free wheeling we also recognize that we are going through some type of crisis, therefore, it just becomes a discussion on what type of crisis.

Some think it is a crisis of capitalism. <I don’t>

Others think the crisis is moral. <I do>

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“Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, which are embodied in one maxim: The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate.”

Bertrand Russell

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First there is attitude. What is maybe a disregard for societal fairness versus what could be construed as individual ‘winning’ or ‘what I deserve.’ A lot has been written about the effects of globalization during the past generation. Much less has been said about the change in social norms that globalization enabled. Many people, particularly people in power positions, took the vast transformation of the economy as an excuse to rewrite the rules that used to govern their behavior. I say that because while there will always be isolated small groups of lawbreakers in high places what truly destroys morale is a systemic corner-cutting, rule-bending, self interest behavior type of construct.

I have thought about how and why this happens.

It starts early.

As young children we start off with a healthy core of greatness, but before long it gets covered in layers of doubt, fear and guilt. Often this is caused by people we trust most like parents, teachers and managers who put us down in subtle and less subtle ways. It’s as though people were flicking bits of mud at us until our core of greatness is totally covered. Even worse, we flick mud at ourselves by accepting smaller versions of ourselves through negative self-talk and poor thinking; and we become a tiny fraction of the potential that once existed.

Once potential is curbed we seek to find success in other ways sometimes circumventing “what is right” to make small excusable steps in our behavior to attain ‘small personal successes.”

Second is our propensity to consume <and its self perpetuation>.

Our propensity to consume without thought for the planet, the poor or even the person next door is a sign that greed and fear are the motives of the moment <or self interest trump collective interest in a zero sum world>. Freedom certainly creates problems (inequalities most notably), but it also solves them.

But the central aspect of freedom advanced by these thinkers was the market, or what Adam Smith had described as the propensity to truck, barter and exchange. In this area, freedom allowed dispersed individuals—disposing of their own resources and choosing for themselves what they want to buy—to generate a level of prosperity that has had no precedent in human history. And the pricing system that emerges from the market—that is, from the push and pull of supply and demand—provides the indispensable knowledge needed to guide the economy.

So. All that said.

I would tell young people that Capitalism is not the issue.

It is the people within the system <and young people can fix that by entering the system>. The system can work just fine it is simply being abused at the moment. Capitalism needs to be managed to be more oriented to the long term and socially more responsible.

Interestingly, Richard Branson has formed an initiative to do just this. I found it amusing that initially he sought to have a board of Business Elders — but there were too few candidates from the business world of sufficiently unimpeachable character to staff it <insert ‘oh my’ here>.

Anyway <to conclude part 1>.

Since World War II in particular, America has been on a consumption surge/binge. While wages have certainly stagnated, family disposable income has grown, life standards have improved, health has improved and overall quality of life has improved <and showed a continuous growth>. Unfortunately, at the same time, while families busily lived their lives they also had access to the finest inventory of toys capitalism could provide. Each generation was doing better than the one before, life was good and standard of living acquired a layer of ‘non essentials’ as part of how the people lived a successful & happy life.

At the same time. Televisions starting bringing news, influential people talking and capitalism toys into the family living room. Television allowed busy families the opportunity to be exposed to complex issues through professionally crafted sound bites and talking points. People were now becoming more informed from a larger perspective, not just local perspective, and we ushered in the inevitable “keeping up with the Joneses” aspect.

What we face is the natural rising tide of ‘better than before’ facing the ebb and flow of time. The ebbing waters are not appreciated by those who drink from the current place. Is it greed for most people? No. It is simply a desire for the status quo – “better is a right not a privilege.” Therein lies the social & cultural task at hand. Ponder.

Anyway <to conclude part 2>.

Doing something.

Me? I write and post on my blog. And speak about it wherever and whenever I can <especially to young people>.

It is easy to talk about it because it seems like if we take a moment and reflect on the problems in the world today we might easily come to the conclusion that it is mainly due to deterioration of our morality compass.

It seems like everywhere we see people filled with greed and intent on self-gratification. It seems like people are always willing to compromise on values/morality to make personal gains. That means we need to start talking about values and create some sort of awakening in the minds of people.

Will everyone do it? Of course not. But someone has to go first. Someone has to become the catalyst for change.

Why not the youth? We should encourage them to enter the system and build what they desire from the inside out rather than simply breaking the system as unfixable. Ponder.