Headline:

“Under fire, British store withdraws sale of padded bikinis for 7-year-olds”

So.

The British clothing chain Primark responding to scathing criticism from politicians and children’s groups has withdrawn its sale of a line of padded bikinis for girls as young as seven. The bikini sets, with a $9 price tag, came in candy pink with gold stars and black with white polka dots.

(oh my)

Primark said, “Every girl wants to look her best and at Primark we make no exception for the younger ladies, all the high fashion trends can be found in our Girlswear section, no matter what age you are.” (double oh my)

Ok.

And what were they thinking?

Ok.

Maybe better said “were they thinking?”

One of the best comments I have ever seen was from opinion buffett who said “Wonder if Speedo will start offering padding for little boys swimwear.”

I admit.

On this one I cannot even envision how the conversation went with regard to not only investing money developing this line of products let alone marketing the products.

I have to assume some relatively smart marketing people said “absolutely. There is a market for this product line.”

I have to assume some product/brand line manager said “the numbers support it. This will round out our store offerings.”

I have to assume some senior management person said “Let’s go for it.”

I have to assume stupid pills were served as snacks in the meeting.

New product innovations are part science, part process, part art and part luck (or maybe better said “nutsy unreasonable slightly lucky vision”).

I have a whole white paper on effective new product innovations process. And I do believe a rigorous process assists in less wasted time on stupid or non profitable ideas. Of course there should be a plan.

But.

Process always runs a parallel path with creativity and some “gut.”

Ok.

Having seen and worked with probably THE best consumer product innovations group in the world (the Proctor & Gamble innovations group) I have seen some of the wackiest ideas up on the white board. But. In the end all the research in the world and all the sales projection numbers in world are balanced against one HUGE constant (not a variable) … common sense.

Seems to me that someone left common sense at home the day they discussed this idea in the office.

So someone pointed out the common sense and they have discontinued the line.

But.

As a UK Democrat congresswoman said, “Primark’s decision is welcome but how on earth could they have thought that this was a good idea in the first place?”

But.

Maybe the scariest thing? some people were buying the product. One mother said “well, she wanted to be like one of the big girls.”

Hey. I am not a parent. But don’t they stop being little girls soon enough as it is?

“There are only four types of officer. First, there are the lazy, stupid ones. Leave them alone, they do no harm…Second, there are the hard- working, intelligent ones. They make excellent staff officers, ensuring that every detail is properly considered. Third, there are the hard- working, stupid ones. These people are a menace and must be fired at once. They create irrelevant work for everybody. Finally, there are the intelligent, lazy ones. They are suited for the highest office.”

General Erich Von Manstein

Every once in awhile you come across an intriguing quote from an unexpected source. Von Manstein was a Prussian general. I don’t know. I guess I never thought a Prussian would link laziness to any possible option for positive words or beliefs.

And I guess I find it interesting that a general would recognize the aspects of leadership so well.

One implication he certainly communicates is that you want to build the average intelligence up in your organization (regardless of their work ethic).

Another implication is the interesting mix of thinkers and doers and the common characteristics within an effective “officer group” (think management team in an organization).

Regardless, he is suggesting the best staff (organization) is a mix of lazy & hard working intelligent people (boy … I wish I could have had Erich visit a couple of business owners I have known).

I would imagine I find this interesting because in today’s world I feel organizations tend to reward diligence more so than smarts, or intellectual curiosity, and certainly more so than ‘laziness’ (even of you are smarter than a whip).

Current business operations acumen is one of which reward and evaluation systems dominate. And that is regardless of the actual importance of thought and reflection to the long term organization’s success (despite the fact thought/reflection has been proven to wither in an evaluation/reward system).

So. To translate. In our world you are better off looking busy than looking like you are thinking thereby organizations encourage diligence at the expense of reflection/laziness.

This even though “reflection” can be fulfilling intellectual curiosity by gathering information and gathering facts and things like that (so you could be more effective “hard working”).

Thinking, reflection or even ‘laziness’ isn’t acceptable in the working world today because it isn’t “productive.” Or measurable. Or can be counted (this is a parallel with my ‘not everything that can be counted counts’ post).

Hey. I have been tempted throughout this entire post to be sarcastic or be cynical and I believe I have been very good at avoiding it up to this point (just want to point all of that out. Don’t worry. I think in my next post I will make up some of the ground I just lost on the cynical battlefront).

Anyway. Every once in awhile we can look to some past learning and gain some insights for today. Even from some guy who looks like he has a stick up his ass and hasn’t smiled in his entire life. Oh. But could manage an army to kick any army’s butt it fought. So. Maybe this guy knew what he was talking about.

Well.

When is saw this illustration I was fascinated with the different interpretations.

Is it fear of flying?

Is it fear of control?

Is it just the fear of letting go (any way you look at it)?

Is it letting go of the kite and giving that up.

Or is letting go of what is holding you to the ground.

I love this little illustration.

Life is just like that kite.

Everyone gets one (at least one) in life. You either decide to fly it, fly with it or let it go at some point.

Regardless of your personal choice my only wish is we make sure every child has a kite and learns to fly a kite.

For they need to know that it is okay to fly.

Ok.

Here is the thought: I believe if all single guys had to go through a birthing class the world would be a better place (particularly for women).

This begins my story of how I have a certificate for taking a birthing class (and I am a single, never married with no children guy).

Maribeth and Phil were really good married friends of mine (another story will be the 12 straight blind dates they set me up on).  Maribeth was in the advertising business like me. Phil did something else (do we ever really know what our friends do?). Maribeth got pregnant (via Phil but I didn’t ask any details). Phil was doing his job (whatever it was) and had to leave Mondays and come back Fridays. Birthing classes were Wednesdays I believe.

So Phil and Maribeth asked if I could attend birthing class with Maribeth and then I could pass along the guy version of what happened to Phil over the weekend to prepare him for the ultimate ‘gig.’

I guess the sticky wicket was always going to be “the day” and what happened if Phil couldn’t make it. Thank god that crisis was averted.

So … every Wednesday night Maribeth and I went to the hospital to attend this several week birthing class.

Introductions were interesting the first day.

In general everyone was a little confused on who I was and the relationship to the Phil/Maribeth relationship (I am fairly sure a couple of guys thought there was some threesome thing going on which creeped both Maribeth and I out).

But everyone moved along pretty quickly as we got down to the nuts and bolts of what the baby does to a woman’s body.

Whew.

Okay.

What this baby thing does to a woman’s body.

Suffice it to say I would rather Mike Tyson hit me in the stomach than endure the effect a baby would have on my body. And that would be the number one thing I believe every single guy should start with understanding.

Beyond that.

I have to tell you. Maribeth and I had a blast considering the seriousness of the discussion. Maybe it’s because we were both in the marketing business, but we probably analyzed what was said and why it was said that way more than was probably healthy. Phil would often have to bring us back “on point” in our debrief discussions.

During the class there were definitely some awkward moments with regard to the whole coaching and coaxing thing but I sometimes believe the fact she and I laughed so much reminded the rest of the class that having some fun was … well… more fun than worrying.

Shit.

Some of the dads were so uptight I was a little unclear how conception happened in the first place. The class – which I assume is pretty much the same everywhere – kinda works to get the partners in sync with what is happening with the pregnancy and birth. I imagine it is a nice way to eliminate some of the surprises at “the event” as well as gives some nice fallback tricks when you don’t know what else to do. And the class culminates in a video of three actual births (here is the marketing guy in me). The video strategically begins with a “problem birth,” switches to a “difficult but healthy birth” and finally to an “easy healthy birth” (they always want to finish on a high note).

Okay.

Let me be clear about the video. From a bachelor point of view they were all brutal to watch. And I appreciated the mix, but it kind of all made me think being a monk may not be all that bad. Once again. A very good lesson for any single “in your 20’s” guy (it also may be a great recruiting tool for the church).

Anyway.

It was an amazing experience.

Basically I netted out two things (although I learned much much more than this):

–          Having a baby as a couple is an amazing thing. It wasn’t even my baby but I found myself pretty astounded by the capacity and sometimes overwhelming care which creeped into the moment. Every guy would be served well to understand that even if they don’t have a kid. It is an amazing thing to experience even peripherally.

–          Having a baby fucks up a woman’s body. I saw things and pictures and videos that sobered me up pretty quickly on my relatively casual attitude with regard to sex.

So I still have my little paper certificate.

It probably cost 5 cents on their copier machine but it is kinda valuable to me. I have lost touch with Phil and Maribeth but that experience will always define my friendship with them. I believe the class matured me a little. And I believe most single guys in their 20’s would benefit from the experience.

Doubt.

I have written a three part series about this thing called doubt <which I believe we all face and fight>.

Links to all are at end of post.

Anyway.

I began thinking about doubt because of a couple of very personal self doubt, self direction writings from a delightfully talented 20something Jamie.

She reminded me of the sometimes overwhelming doubt minefield we traverse through life.

She also reminded me of a delightfully talented and funny guy, Josh Kilmer Purcell, who I truly admired and liked when I worked with him who wrote one of the most painfully insightful personal books (I Am Not Myself These Days: A Memoir) on the dangers one can encounter in the minefield.

<I recommend this disturbing book>

She also reminded me to look around and see who I knew who may be struggling thru the minefield now in their life.

So.

I wrote.

Some from personal experience.

Some from having managed dozens of people and caring about them as people not just business employees.

Some writing just from the heart.

Okay.

Maybe all from the heart.

Anyway.

Thanks Jamie.

You got me started.

And you?

Keep moving forward.

You are doing just fine.

Just like me at your age you may explode a couple of those mines and sometimes it may feel like you have had your ass blown up but the odds are if you are still moving … your ass is fine.

======

About Self Doubt

==

About Other’s Doubt

==

Crushed between internal and external Doubt

==

Line between Confidence and Overestimated Ego

Whew.

Self doubt.

Trying to shut the whisper of shut the whisper of self doubt out is often one of life’s biggest challenges.

Here is some free advice.

Doubt is like your shadow. It’s always there. Especially on sunny days. Just accept it. It goes wherever you go.

But.

Next piece of advice.

So what.

It’s just your shadow.

So.

With that cryptic piece of advice out of the way here is what made me think about self doubt <and I have written about what I call ‘others doubt’ as a companion post>:

Jamie the 20something says:

——-

It’s like you want something so badly that it becomes a part of every single second of your day and you want it so badly that you feel like you’re walking this very thin tightrope without a net below you. Like, you’re so vulnerable and so empowered and so on fire that it’s frightening, but, I mean, what else are you going to do? Stop wanting it? Er, pretend to stop wanting it? Stop wanting something because you want it so bad that the worry of potential disappointment is stronger than the hope of potential success?

I mean, what the hell do you do?

——-

So.

Without even using the word doubt Jamie talks to us about it.

The pressure to want ‘to do something’ and the vulnerability that comes along with the actual doing (okay … maybe better said … the ‘trying’).

Often the difficulty is discerning the amount of truth in your own self doubt.

It becomes important to discern the true amount … because slivers can look like entire houses if you are not careful.

But truth is difficult because … whether you like it or not … not everything in life is possible <no matter how those inspirational posters tell you so>.

Hard work and focus can solve some things and cannot solve some others.

For example … if you don’t have the hand-eye coordination to hit a 100mph fastball you just cannot be a baseball player.

If you don’t have a natural gift of speaking at best you will always have that unnatural stiffness of practiced speaking.

‘Modest doubt’ is a good thing.

——–

“Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise. “
William Shakespeare

——–

Sometimes self doubt is a reality check. Just make sure you don’t ignore a small dose of reality.

The next level of self doubt is separating doubt from fear of the attempt and fear of failure.

Whew. This is really difficult.

Doubt has a nasty habit of sneaking in as you assess ‘what to do’ based on your self perceived strengths and real strengths <or weaknesses if you want to take that road>.

This is where self doubt gets tricky <or challenging>.

Self doubt can freeze you into inaction. And inaction can take place in a variety of ways because it is a sly little devil.

Be careful ‘inaction doubt’ doesn’t hide itself somewhere in the ‘I don’t have enough information yet’ or ‘I will do it when I gain some more experience’ or even ‘I don’t know where to start’ phrases of fear of attempt.

Sure.

Some of the ‘inaction doubts’ have a shred of truth … but if you are waiting for everything to be all lined up to say ‘go’, well, you may as well decide now it ain’t ever gonna happen.

Anyway.

I imagine the best thought may be that rarely does something really bad happen because of the attempt.

You can’t hide from life.

You can’t really hide from self doubt.

You have to live Life and accept <some> self doubt as a partner in crime as you live Life.

Especially if you ever want even a chance to reach your dreams or aspirations.

And the attempt will almost always be despite the doubts <for 100% certainty is simple foolishness>.

So.

In the end how do you deal with self doubt?

Keep moving. Do. Do stuff. Take action. Stagnancy breeds doubt <just like stagnant water breeds mosquitoes>.

——–

“Action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve”

Pehyl Hsieh

——–

Oh.

One last thought (in a post strewn with quotes):

——-

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.”

Francis Bacon

——–

Hmmmmmmmmmmm … maybe, in the end, a little self doubt isn’t bad.

Just a little.

So.

Other’s doubt.

Look.

There is a big <huge> difference between self doubt and the quiet persistence of doubt found within other people’s whispers.

Let’s call this external doubt.

They don’t have to shout it. (but it can be shouted)

It can be a word someone slips in to something they say to you. (or it can be whole paragraphs)

It can be a throwaway sentence from someone (just thrown out without feeling its depth by the person saying it).

You’ve probably been there.

You want to do … something. Anything. Just go forward. You have this building enthusiasm to go “do.”

Then you find out that your parents, friends, and people who care for you <these are the most personal> or business associates question what you want to do.

Uhm.

“Question.” Let’s say they are politely doubting you and what you want to do.

Their doubt can be driven by a variety of things.

It may be real worry about your future.

It may be something absolutely nothing to do with you.

But.

Unfortunately … what this means is … unbeknownst to you … others have created demons for you.

———

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.”

Shel Silverstein

———

Look.

Everyone is entitled to have their own thoughts whether they say they don’t believe in you <or your ideas> or not.

That’s cool.

And as a matter of fact that’s life.

Life is all about being caught inbetween the fact you believe what you believe to be true … and they believe what they believe to be true.

And sometimes it is easier to just tell yourself “so what … that’s their opinion” and walk away and go do something … then try and convince them otherwise.

But. Back to the ‘created demons’ thing.

External doubt is a tough one.

It may be even tougher then self doubt.

Because mainly because you cannot really control it <even if you are successful>. Inevitably there is always someone somewhere who no matter how brilliant the idea is who will inevitably find something negative.

They can be really creative in doing so. They use factoids and statistics … they can use ignorance … they can use personal beliefs. And the really tricky ones are the most loved ones.

Unfortunately parents often fall into this category. They mean well because they just want you to be successful. But depending on your age they elect to shovel the semi-truth factoid shit at you <okay … it doesn’t really matter on their age> they are your parents and even though not using the word ‘doubt’ they are doubting you can do what you are thinking you want to do.

Believing in something you want to do or believing in yourself when there are external doubts <or doubters> is tough.

It’s like a kick in the gut.

It’s deflating.

And maybe even more concerning … it can be tiring, emotionally and physically, and lonely <even though not everyone externally may doubt you those few can still isolates you slightly>.

But.

Somehow you put the Kevlar vest on and take the bullets and move on.

I guess at some point you just need to figure out what insulates you from external doubt crap and move <because … frankly & pragmatically … if you move … you are more difficult to be hit by doubts>. At some point you need to see your vision so crystal clear that you’ll laugh off the external doubters.

Or even you cannot laugh at least you are moving toward something so maybe you can just ignore them.

Because external doubt can slow you down like barnacles on a ship.

Moving forward.

Going.

Movement.

I admit. This next quote is about me. It fits my personality:

——–

“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it but that it is too low and we reach it.”

Michelangelo

——-

I love this quote. It is a reminder to me that sometimes getting what you want isn’t really what you want. Look. I understand that some people like to reach some goals because it shows progress. I am not one of those people. I like aiming high and hoping someday I can attain it and constantly working toward that objective.

To work your way through external doubt you gotta figure out your path. Mine may work for you. Small goals may work for you. Doesn’t matter. Every time you do one more of what works for you the external doubts have less and less credibility.

In the end I guess I could suggest (and I believe the psychologist world would probably say this) but it comes down to proving it to yourself. And that cannot happen if you are frozen and not moving. Cause it doesn’t matter how many people will tell you that you can’t make it or do something that you have your sights on. It really only matters what you believe and what you do.

Yeah.

It’s on you.

You prove to yourself first and let all the other stuff just happen.

But.

It is a damn good motivator to get some revenge on the people who say you couldn’t <or subtly suggested you couldn’t> by doing it.

External doubt is just one of the hurdles life throws at us.

Even if you don’t want be a hurdler you still have to figure out how to navigate them.

There is no sense bitching that there are hurdles.

Just get going and start the race.

So.

Self doubt. Internal.

Others doubt. External.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm …

But what happens when someone starts getting crushed in the middle?

I have a good friend who I believe is being crushed in between.

I would imagine anyone who is going thru unemployment combined with some natural internal doubts or insecurities faces it. Shit. Even if you have a strong sense of “I” (or “i”) not having a job, if you have always had a job, is tough with the ole doubt weight.

And it takes some strength and support to run this internal and external gauntlet and not get crushed. But. I fear he is being crushed between them.

Let me explain what is being crushed <and I am probably not going to get the words exactly right>.

I think all of us have a flame inside us.

It’s not hope. It’s not belief. It’s not ego.

It’s just …. I.

Sometimes a little i and sometime a capital I … but always burning inside us is this flame of i-ness.

And I think doubts <even more than failures> threaten the strength of that flame.

So when internal doubts and external doubts start pushing in on that flame … that I in us gets threatened.

It may not be threatened in terms of being extinguished it just may simply become harder to see.

The i may become so small it is difficult to find.

Or maybe in some people the doubts bring a darkness with them that just makes it hard to see or find the i.

Most of the time it flickers back to life and grows stronger. And while a lot of people suggest it is belief in yourself <or it starts with yourself> that is just one way … it can be any number of reasons how it regains its strength.

But.

The scary thing is this combination of internal and external can be so overwhelming it can freeze you.

Just when you need to move you don’t. And then you don’t again. And before you know it the shadows, the darkness, starts overwhelming the light of the flame.

And, even worse, it gets so dark … even if you decide to move … the way out isn’t that clear a path.

Why?

Because I can imagine it can start looking really dark in there.

When I call my friend … I can still see a dim light. Sometimes just a flicker. And I do anything I can to insure it doesn’t extinguish.

But sometimes I don’t know what to do.

And then I envision, shit, if I don’t know what to do then how the hell can he know what to do?

The difficulty is sometimes that ‘i-flame’ looks so fragile in the darkness you fear blowing it out if you push too hard.

Anyway.

I fear he is losing sight of the “I” within him as doubts overwhelm the flame.

But.

This isn’t about me and whether I am smart enough to help my friend.

This is about what I do know and being crushed in the wretched hollow in between self doubt and external doubt.

What I do know about that flame of I inside each of us.

Do what it takes to keep it alive.

Keep your sense of I and don’t lose it.

Whatever it takes.

Let me repeat.

Whatever it takes.

In the past I have judged people who have leaned on religion. Leaned on prescription drugs. Leaned on self help books. Leaned on betterment programs.

Well.

I have been a fool.

And ignorant.

A stupid ignorant fool.

For whatever path one chooses to maintain their flame is the right path.

And a good path.

And a path well taken.

You do whatever it takes to keep the flame alive and don’t get crushed by doubt.

That’s it.

Bottom line.

Well my friend. I hope you read this. In fact I hope a lot of people read this. And I hope we think about any of our friends who may be getting crushed in between the weight of internal and external doubts.

I know I would do whatever it takes to make sure none of my friends ever got crushed.

And I imagine if I pulled them out hard enough they would start moving and get the hell out of there.

But.

We all need to remember.

Sometimes when you are stuck. And frozen. And it is so frickin’ dark you can’t see a frickin’ thing <let alone this frickin’ path this guy Bruce keeps talking about>.

If someone reaches in and grabs you, maybe hold on for awhile and see where they get you to.

That is called accepting help.

And that is part of “whatever it takes.”

So.

Recently the courts have become involved in this semi asinine issue of on using “god” in the pledge of allegiance or on American currency (“in god we trust”) rejecting arguments that they violate the constitutional separation of church and state.

I am going to leave the money issue alone because at this rate the dollar can use any help it can get so I don’t think we want to take a chance God would get pissed we don’t trust him anymore.

But … on the pledge of allegiance.

Let me begin by stating I firmly believe we would be better off as a nation if all kids did what I did and started the school day with the pledge of allegiance.

The reference to God wasn’t an issue or thought (but if it truly is an issue I have an answer).

Regardless.

The pledge is a statement that reminds everyone what country they live in, a respect for the American flag and serves as a small (but cornerstone) commitment to the nation as a whole at a young age.

Look.

I am a business guy. I am an alignment guy.

To me the pledge is an alignment tool.  That and the national anthem are foundational elements to a country of people with pride in the country they live in.

Anyway.

This ruling was a reversal of the same court’s decision in 2002 that the pledge violated the First Amendment ban on government endorsement of religion (the crap we get out higher courts involved in is stunning).

But finally I heard a federal judge who “got it” with regard to the pledge of allegiance:

“The Pledge of Allegiance serves to unite our vast nation through the proud recitation of some of the ideals upon which our Republic was founded.”

(and this wasn’t Judge Judy)

(wow. I got this one right and I don’t even have a high falutin’ law degree nor one of those cool robes they get to wear)

Anyway.

Everyone should note that schools do not require students to recite the pledge (although I do wish they would).

So.

Here is my solution so that maybe all schools will open the day with it.

The original Pledge of Allegiance was written in August 1892 with the hope that the pledge would be used by citizens in any country. In 1923 “the flag of the United States of America was added to make it specific to the good ole USofA:

“I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

C’mon dudes (and dudettes).

What is wrong with this?

No reference to God. Never did.

Why not use the pledge of allegiance which was developed with the correct intent (and, for god’s sake, the original was written by a minister of all people and he didn’t include God).

It was only in 1954, in response to the Communist threat of the times, President Eisenhower encouraged Congress to add the words “under God.”  (and I like Ike just not this particular decision).

Just my thinking.

I get worried that we, as Americans, lose sight of the bigger issue (America as a nation) while focusing on smaller special interest issues. I also believe we make it harder than it has to be.

We have a pretty good thing going here in what we call the United States of America.

We fought hard to get it. We fought hard to maintain. We have done some great things. We have done some not so great things along the way. But in the end we still remain the United States of America and the pledge of allegiance is a small reminder of that fact.

So. This is a follow up to the post I wrote on what I believed the Catholic Church was doing right (putting a stake in the ground for what they unequivocally stand for).

This one points out where I believe the Pope had an opportunity to continue down the right path to re-identifying the Catholic Church (and Christianity because while not everyone is going to want to hear it but if the Catholic Church missteps all of Christianity missteps). The Pope took a yes or no test and answered ‘maybe’ to a dismayed (and disappointed) world.

While the Irish child abuse situation is the current focus we need to accept that the church is guilty of a systemic failure over child abuse within its ranks (beyond a shadow of a doubt). While I would imagine the sheer number of child abuse situations throughout the system and over the years is probably a miniscule percentage each ‘event’ is a huge example of everything the church (and Christianity) abhors and deserved a disproportionate response.

It is also certain that the recent letter published from the pope to Catholics in Ireland, apologizing for the scandal, is pitifully inadequate.

Inadequate because the abuse deserved a disproportionate response. A response that would have unequivocally shown that the Pope, and the church, find such actions unacceptable at any time and any place.

Usually, when old and powerful institutions are found guilty of some systemic failure, the stock response is to promise reform. To be honest, I don’t want to hear about reform. Reform turns out to be “words” and I believe I want “actions.”

But it seems that is not the way of the Catholic Church whose secretive methods make changes slowly, oh, and rarely. But. Once again. I have already see signs of change within the church (that was my last post).

But. In this situation I want action.

I truly believe it is this contradiction (knowing they did wrong but not doing anything visible about it) that explains why the church has been trying, and failing, to put the abuse crisis behind it for well over a decade now. These horrific offenses to children, and the failure of the church to take any real steps to stop them, has re-emerged again to haunt another Pope (and the church … and Christianity).

It is a fact the abuse is more heinous because it took place within the Catholic Church construct. The church may not want to accept that but they better do so soon. When a priest uses a child as a sexual object he is attacking a precious human being and maiming their personality for life – spiritually and personally.

This represents not only a crime against humanity but also shows the most complete failure to understand the principles of Christianity.

The Church “employee” who takes it upon himself to commit such a crime cannot possibly fulfill the role of a priest and must be fired, without forgiveness, on the spot. Because to have taken that action he never was a priest for he never understood Christianity. Unfortunately, the failure of the hierarchy to understand this seems to make them unfit for their roles too (hence the reason i am kinda pissed at the Pope).

So. Catholic Church. Heads up. Here is what I would do.

Once again I am going to compare the church to a business and suggest how to close off the issues and move on (because for all my gripes with the Catholic Church they do seem to be trying to get their shit together). Oh. And once again I am going to probably suggest something seemingly unreasonable.

The problem the Catholic Church is facing in reality has nothing to do with current actions but rather past actions. Those past actions probably represent less than 1% of all their actions but that less than 1% is heinous in reality and so exponential it haunts them as an organization enough to wipe out all the good they do.

So.  Action. Decisive action. That is how they get past this situation:

1. Those that were part of the acts are out. Goodbye. No forgiveness. While Catholicism is all about forgiveness the actual members must be to higher standards. Sorry. We don’t forgive those who should act to higher standards.

1. Those that were aware but did nothing. Out. You had a chance to maintain higher standards but didn’t. In this case not speaking out or inaction is as heinous as the actual act. Your inaction doesn’t show any leadership qualities necessary to lead an organization through this as well as it shows a lack of understanding of Christianity “right versus wrong.” Goodbye.

1. Those that were aware and did something (maybe not publicly but within organization attempted to right the wrong). You stay. We (as public) need to understand there are shades of grey. Not all businesses share their dirty laundry with the public. I don’t care how you deal with it as long as you deal with it (although I do believe publicly would help you out a lot … and Christianity as a whole).

1. Victims. Gosh. I don’t know. How can you ever make something like this right?  Will someone ever accept just an apology from the “boss” (the pope)?  Once again. Heck. I don’t know. Child abuse is a crime. Abusers should be prosecuted. Employer fires them. What more can be done? Just make sure you take care of them as much as possible so they can live productive lives.

1. Victims Part 2. The church needs to stop the past bleeding to be able to move on. To steal an idea from the IRS. Okay victims. Now or never. Speak up within the next 6 months privately or publicly or forever hold your peace. We will deal with it. We want to know the truth. And this will help us understand the extent of the truth. But. The past is the past. We have dealt with the organization moving forward. We accept we made some unforgivable things in the past but we need to move forward.

That’s what I would do.

A letter of apology? You may as well throw it away. That’s its value.

If the Pope (and the church … and Christianity) wants to pass the test, give me some action.

And I want the action to appear to be disproportionate (if it can ever be so with a crime against a child).