============

“The unexpected, always the unexpected.

If they expect you to move right, move left. The first law of survival in this jungle that you’ll inhabit.

The unexpected move. “

—-

The Avengers

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“She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don’t apply to you.”

—

Terry Pratchett

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Well. Far too often in business we talk about making an “unexpected move” to gain an advantage as “zig when they zag.”

So lets’ take a minute and talking about the whole “zigging when they zag” bullshit. To be clear. On a football field zigging when they zag can be effective, but in business it is bullshit.

Look. I am all for running with a temporary advantage when given the opportunity <and, yes, about 97.385% of advantages are temporary — I made up the 97.385% number>. But that is not ‘zigging’.

I am all for hunkering down on a specific distinctness when it appears the rest of the category is bumbling around in an array of meaningless claims. But that is not zigging.

I am all for leaping through a window of opportunity when the window cracks open. But that is not zigging.

Suffice it to say … zigging, in general, is a stupid strategy.

Let me explain why.

Most industries, once they have a fair number of competitors, is more like a 7 lane superhighway where everyone is driving in the same direction within the same guard rails.

Not everyone will like thinking that, but the truth is that most businesses have smart people who see the same information and do all the necessary research with people who are likely, and not likely, to buy whatever it is they are selling and therefore strategies are in the same realm and everyone is pretty much competing in the same arena.

This means a couple of things.

• • Everyone is speeding toward the same approximate destination.

  • If something is obvious to you, it is most likely obvious to them.

What all of this means is you have to move, but most moves have to be done artfully.

So maybe despite the fact I balk at the whole ‘zig when they zig’ and ‘unexpected’ anything in business gives me heartburn it is possible I could discuss the art of the unexpected move.

I call it “art” because unpredictability as normal behavior is bad. No one likes someone who is unpredictable 100% of the time and organizations <alignment, operations and ‘day to day doing’> tend to respond poorly to unpredictability (so do customers).

In my highway metaphor unpredictability most likely means either <a> a crash or <b> slowing down and you get passed or <c> you are now on a completely different road than all the other competitors speeding toward sales, & customers.

As for predictable? Yikes. Boring. Lack of creativity. Bad <in a different way>. Let’s just call predictable “lack of any art.” In my highway metaphor this most likely means you are cruising in one of the right lanes, the slower lanes, and people are passing you all the frickin’ time.

This suggests making a move in your industry take more art and artfulness to navigate the path you desire or take advantage of the opportunity that may open.

This suggests, in the business world, you sit up and pay attention just with a little more focus when someone pulls out the “maybe we should zig when they zag” tritism. You do so mostly because anyone who says that who is not on a football field most likely has their head up their ass <but want to say something catchy in a meeting to be noticed>.

I say that, again, because most time in a business industry companies are going in a direction for a reason … that is where the sales are. So ‘zigging’ when everyone else ‘zags’ more than likely means they are heading toward sales and you are not.

Ok. Now. If you want to tie ‘unexpected move’ to survival … well … that is a different story. Survival does have a nasty habit of forcing some unexpected maneuvering. Ok. Maybe out of desperation the predictable in us decides that maybe being ‘unexpected’ may actually be called for.

I would suggest that if you find yourself in desperate times rarely is anything artful in that moment. But I would suggest that in a desperate survival mode I can offer two lists you should write up on some big board in some big conference room and make sure you discuss. There are basically 4 basic responses to a threat <or opportunity I imagine>:

• • • Fight

    • Flee

    • Deceive

    • Submit

Any move you choose to make will be derived from one of these four spaces.

Choose wisely.

Once you have chosen <wisely> effectiveness in a survival fight basically comes down to 4 things <in the order of importance>:

• • • aggression and willingness to hurt your competition

    • willingness to get hurt yourself

    • skill and knowledge

    • strength and power

Some may haggle with my order, but the top two will dictate your success regardless of how you stack the last two. And of the last two I would suggest most of the time knowing what to do is more important than brute strength.

Choose wisely <but always choose the first two or you will get crushed>. I offer these two lists because when anyone suggests zigging when someone zags I bring these out.

Shit. I bring these two lists out almost any time a business wants to talk about effectively competing in an industry.

Why?

Because nothing really matters if you do not figure out these two lists.

Why?

Going back to what I said earlier … advantages are temporary   and the other guys/gals you are competing against are as smart as you are. You don’t zig just for the sake of zigging <that is wasted organizational energy> and if you do have to take an unexpected move it is most typically a response to something in the situation <opportunity or threat>.

While we like to talk about zigging and zagging the reality comes back to the highway. You have to move forward and keep moving forward <or get run over>. The only zigging anyone should ever talk about is either moving into another lane to pass someone or another lane to let someone pass you or change lanes to avoid a crash.

================

“Desperation is the raw material of drastic change.

Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.

William S. Burroughs

==============

Unexpected moves just to do something unexpected is stupid.

It is in the same category as change for change sake.

It is in the same category as zigging when they zag.

Now.

Unexpected moves made in the search for something incredible waiting to be known <some desired destination>? Well. That isn’t stupid.

===========

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”

Carl Sagan

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Unexpected moves made to survive on the competition highway? That isn’t stupid.

Unexpected moves made to veer through a window of opportunity that arises? That isn’t stupid.

But zig when they zag? C’mon. That’s just stupid.

It is stupid because more likely than not it just means you will have not left the competition behind, but rather just left the competition.

============

“A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are for.”

John Shedd

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“The arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.”

MLK

===

 The arc of history is irrelevant to most of us. Ok. Maybe better said is that we are relatively indifferent to the arc of history.

Most of us get up, drink our coffee and get going doing what we need to do that day. In doing so we cannot see any fucking arc, we just see what is in front of us. The arc can only vaguely be seen when we look at the news or talk with friends or maybe see some high falutin’ presentation on trends that supposedly impact our business in terms of sales and shit like that.

And we wonder why the world can seem so cold sometimes? Geez. That is our view for the most part. It is our daily grind (responsibilities) interspersed with some outside news filtering in for some perspective.

I would suggest any arc seems like it can almost be a straight line rather than any arc we can see. It can sometimes seem like a straight line of no change, or, a lot of bad shit with small drops of good shit mixed in.

But that’s not reality. The reality is that time and … well … our lives … do arc.

Just like when you are a ship in a harbor thinking about leaving the horizon looks flat and finite. And, yet, once you leave the harbor you realize that the horizon was simply a reflection of where you were and where you stood and that the reality was the world, the universe, arcs and bends to things you could not see from where you once stood.

Yeah. Sometimes that is hard to see.

Yeah. Sometimes we don’t have any time to think about it.

Yeah. But we should … at least on occasion. Because the arc occurs whether we see it or not. You have to be able to figure out how to get done whatever has to be done or the arc will show you what has to be done <or at least the context within which you will make your choices of what you will do>.

Look. I buy the fact that the arc of time bends toward justice. But I think it neglects to point out that people inevitably define the arc. It neglects to point out justice, or ‘good’, is not simply part of the ether, but resides in the hearts & minds of people. Well. What that means is the arc resides within us. All of us. Not just someone standing up in front of us trying to tell us what the arc is or should be.

I sometimes think we mistaken society, a country or a civilization is like a big tanker and we hire someone or elect some to jump onto the bridge of the ship and lead it out of the harbor. That is not so. You would be mistaken to think that. Each one of us is a little ship. We are a fleet of a variety of ships, boats and scows restlessly bobbing in the harbor from which we can actually leave or stay as we wish.

When we hire a leader, or elect someone, we – we little fleet of ships – are actually seeking a flagship. Someone who dares to leave the harbor and lead us over the arc of the horizon. Lead us beyond the current routes we take, lead us beyond the fishing grounds we have always used and lead us to new lands that maybe we had only heard of before.

But. We, we little fleet of ships, also control the voyages because within the hearts & minds of each of the captains resides justice and what is good & right and decide to follow, float or seek freedom.

Therefore we control the arc and bend of justice. No leader does.

I will suggest, consciously or subconsciousnessly, people tend to follow, or guide, based on justice therefore the arc will bend — sometimes too slowly — toward the goodness which resides in humankind. Just like a ship in harbor looking out from a harbor that goodness can sometimes be difficult to see when looking at the horizon but, I can guarantee this, if you leave the harbor it is easier to see.

“Why am I grown Old in seeking so barren a Reward as Fame?

The same Parts and Application, which have made me a Poet, might have rais’d me to any Honours of the Gown, which are often given to Men of as little Learning and less Honesty than myself.”

=

John Dryden

——-

“I feel like I’ve swallowed a cloudy sky.”

Haruki Murakami

Fame.

Fame is an appealing concept to almost everyone. Hear me out. Even if you are one of those people who say “I don’t want to be famous”, you actually do.  Yup. Maybe not ‘red carpet’ famous, but instead maybe if but for one minute ‘noticed by many’ famous.

At the crux of this mental battle we all have is: at what price would we pay for it … this ‘fame’? What price would we pay even for a sliver of fame?

Would you pay anything for “so barren a reward as fame” as John Dryden characterized it? What is the exchange you are willing to make?

Which leads me to selfies, instagram, pinterest, tumblr, Tiktok … pick one.

In technology’s world of the web we are not seeking our 15 minutes of fame, but our 15 seconds of fame with two paths lying ahead:

<a> hoping it will either turn into 15 days of fame as it gets reposted & discussed & editorialized, or

<b> hoping it turns into nothing … as it is embarrassing in reflection.

Therein lies the challenge of gaining fame … even a sliver.

Anyway. I have a theory about fame. Ok. I actually have two theories.

To be clear, these theories, theorems, postulates, whatever you would like to deem whatever glimpse of brilliance or absurdity within what I share, its my own with no research; just looking around at people and having listened & watched probably a million through my professional career.

First thought.

Genes. Chrissie Hynde <Pretenders lead singer> said this once:

“As far as success goes, I’ve never really got too excited about losing or winning. I don’t have whatever the gene is you need for that. Whatever the gene John McEnroe has, I don’t have that.

I don’t care.”

Some people don’t simply crave fame. It is part of their DNA. It is in their genes. I say this because far too many of us <myself included> mock the fame seekers as narcissistic or shallow or, well, pick your poison, but, the reality is that they simply have a gene we do not.

This doesn’t mean I have to find it likable. It simply means I need to recognize that not everyone is the same. And it also means we need to step back and recognize that fame can be used for good or for bad and that fame, while sought, is rarely controlled by the ‘soughter.’

Second thought.

My sense is that to most of us every day schmucks that the whole concept of fame is simply a means to an end, i.e., a vague concept that really has to do with esteem and self worth.

What?

Yeah.

I tend to believe most of us don’t really want the spotlight for life. We simply want to know that we are worth a shit.

That we are good at something.

Conversely, we fear be mediocre. Ok. Let me clarify. We fear being 100% mediocre and that fear affects how we view ourselves.

Looking at ourselves internally and looking at our selves externally seem to rarely match. We are either inflated with regard to ourselves or we have some deflated view of ourselves.

Neither is good.

“All I ever asked of life was that it should pass me by without my even noticing it.”

Fernando Pessoa

This is where that 15 seconds, or 15 minutes, of fame steps in. A spotlight shows us, even for a glimpse in time, some reality.

Something, well, good.

That we are actually good at something.

That people recognize it.

And that moment is it.

It’s enough.

Most of us don’t desire more than that. Just the validation is enough. We can step back into our lives content and continue the grind. Even if we continue the grind with a slightly livelier step knowing that somewhere someone valued us and our contribution.

And, yes, I am unequivocally discussing fame.

Not the smile of a child, the nuzzling from your dog, or even some very personal soulful evaluation and endorsement of your behavior which can provide valuable value affirmation, but differently than fame.

I am discussing fame as is in the harshest glimpse of society and life.

The unhesitating judgment of a cold and often brutal world. Unbiased personally you know when you walk away you weren’t cheated in judgment.

And in that judgment you were noticed and passed judgment.

“Everyone deserves a standing ovation at least once in their life because we all overcometh the world.”

R. J. Palacio

To be clear. The corrolary to what i just shared is your flaws, mistakes, misjudgements, also can get scritinized in the spotlight. Hence my opening where I offered an A path and a B path. Wander into the spotlight at your own risk.

That said. Fame, using Dryden’s language, it is most often not found in “the torrent of the people” or “the riot of a multitude.” Fame is most often found in a moment where the price is nothing more than facing our insecurities on whether we are good enough.

And, in that moment, the fame pendulum can swing far one way or the other.

We are not good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

We are good enough.

And the world stands and stares.

Simplistically, therein lies the price of fame.

The fact you will find out whether you are good enough. And maybe that’s why we all seek some version of fame at some point. Maybe we all really do want to know the truth; harsh or not. Maybe, just maybe, that is what fame, to the non-egotistical, is really about.

Because attaining a rich reward, or, so barren a reward, is a reward nonetheless.

—

“You have to break rules to break free.”

Tinker Bell

===

“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”

Alan Kay

—

A new year is always a reflective moment and a pandemic certainly does amplify the urge to reflect. Coincidentally, whenever asked about the effect of Covid on, well, everything, I say one word: amplify. It has simply amplified everything – uncertainty, change, technology (some people call it ‘digital transformation), existing business vulnerabilities, Life vulnerabilities as well as business strengths, opportunities & risks, etc., as well as certainty.

Yeah. It has also amplified both uncertainty and certainty.

The pandemic shone a spotlight on the fact uncertainty is not the sole owner of fear & risk that even certainty contains aspects of fear. And a lot of fear.

I can know exactly what I want to do, I can know exactly what certain steps I need to take, I can even know with certainty what my quest looks like, and fear will still dog you every step of the way.

Let’s be honest. Certainty was not supposed to feel this way.

While we like to say ‘change is my constant companion and friend’ it is quite possible fear will shed its superficially bad perception cloak and take its place in public vernacular as “fear is my constant companion and friend.”

Look. I am not suggesting everyone curl up in a fetal position overcome with fear, but what I am suggesting is 2021 will be the acceptance of the fear of the known; the fear of certainty.

We are certain we will survive (because what is the alternative?) or, as my friend Murray Calder is teaching me, we will not survive and, yet, the quest goes on. Why? Because what is the alternative? And maybe that is the biggest lesson of 2020. The quest goes on, despite the fear, whether you are staring at certainty or uncertainty.

** note: Please note I am not suggesting one can become fearless, in fact, I think a fearless person is a lie. I am also not suggesting becoming ‘unfeared.’ I believe we have learned un-anything, let alone unfearing, takes a lot of energy and some sometimes-absurd contortionist reasoning.

I do not suggest embracing fear just as I am not suggesting ‘not fearing’ nor am I suggesting uncertainty is better, or worse, than certainty, but rather maybe just accept it all. Why? Because as a corollary to ‘the quest goes on despite the fear’; 99% of us have a 100% daily survival rate.

If a pandemic year has taught us anything, that last sentence & thought may be it.

Which leads me to Tinkerbell and moving forward and how people should accept fear is a valuable companion.

Peter Pan and Tinkerbell are volatile companions. They fight, they scoff at each other – maybe even show a little contempt for each other -, they make each other angry and jealous, but when it comes right down to it, they would each die for the other.

** note: The book version of TinkerBell, one of the most recognized characters in children’s literature, was certainly one of the feisty imperfect spectacular ‘doer’ type of people.

Considerably different than the Disney version.

Considerably more interesting than the Disney version and, more importantly, a reflection of the fact the world is not a Disney version.

They recognize they aren’t always perfect; the world isn’t always perfect and while sometimes they drive each other crazy they also realize those very characteristics that make each other crazy are also often the ones that make the other love them so much. They also recognize that the combination of their characteristics increases their likelihood of survival.

And while Peter Pan may have embraced not growing up, TinkerBell embraced “you have to break rules if you want to break free.”

The pandemic put a spotlight on rules, boundaries and norms. Some were needed and, well, some that existed before the pandemic simply became useless within the pandemic. We reflected on so many rules, so many things society tells you to do, so many things business tells you to do, and began to realize if you want to break free, if you wanted to find some success, shit, if you wanted to survive, you have to decide what you want to do – and be. In some way 2020 encouraged us to find our inner Tinkerbell.

The rules of the status quo, the rules of what we viewed as ‘certainties’, became silly cages to stand in. In fact, many of us began to realize fear was a silly cage. We saw uncertainty was actually the norm and certainty was also to be feared. What do I mean?

We stood in March and we knew, with certainty, it would be shit.

We stood in March and knew, with certainty, we would survive (we just didn’t know how).

We stood in March and we knew, with certainty, we would have to do different things.

There were a lot of knowns and, yet, many of us were shaken; even some fear. On other words. Fear was a certainty. And. Certainty was fear.

Uncertainty wasn’t the cage, certainty was. This, upon reflection, freaked us out. It freaked us out because the certainty cage has always been a comfortable cage for us. It has always barred us against the nastiness of the outside world. All of a sudden, the cage we accepted as a comfortable cage (or maybe not recognized we were in), the way it was supposed to be, some of the ‘certainties’ in Life, shit, even the uncertainties we normally accepted (including “life cannot be planned”) became simply wisps of smoke from the dumpster fire of 2020.

Suddenly we were free.

It may not have looked like freedom in March , but freedom it was.

And maybe, just maybe, we learned to think like a bit TinkerBell with this freedom.

She wasn’t always nice. She was feisty. She was willing to break rules. She had an imagination. I am not suggesting you shouldn’t be nice, but freedom does mean some shaking up of things, some discomfort and some conflict. Look. I am suggesting we need to ‘break some norms’, break some of the Life rules of emergent living (and, no, I do not mean not social distancing or wearing masks, etc.; but rather break some of our expectations of how Life is supposed to be lived), and break out with fear in hand.

Maybe break out our inner Tinkerbell.

It’s about flying.

It’s about finding and embracing the magic in Life.

It’s about recognizing the world has dark places, but still be willing to venture out

It’s about being nimble where evil <or ‘the bad’> tends to win thru stolid unmoving sturdiness.

It’s about not always being nice, but being true of heart.

It’s about being smart, not strong.

It’s about breaking some norms in order to be free.

It’s about using your pixie dust.

Far too many of us see a dark world and instead of imagining what could be simply hold on to something in the past because it <a> seems better and <b> seems safer (as known). It is our way of ‘unfearing certainty.’  I would argue we do not seek certainty, but rather seek unfearing aspects of our lives and, as a consequence, miss out on the magic in life.

Now. In the absence of a pandemic, in and of itself that seems like a good idea, but as everyone is doing it and as everyone decides to hold on to their ‘own thing’ we simply stay in our own little NeverLand.

** note: Peter Pan’s author made Neverland these places that are found in the minds of children and each is “always more or less an island” not the same from one child to the next.

Its not a good idea for two reasons.

• The pandemic pretty much blew up anything we had been holding onto that could possibly be ‘unfearing’ life
• That kind of thinking actually encourages is to become islands, avoiding adventure <except in our own mind> and not sharing adventure, and a pandemic clearly showed us to survive this ‘adventure’ you need others. Your Tinkerbell needed Peter Pan and Pater Pan needed Tinkerbell.

Anyway.

I think more of us need to seek our inner Tinker Bell in 2021. And in doing so we have a chance to refind the magic in Life and embrace fear and guide ourselves to new and better adventures not alone but together. Maybe in 2021 we stop valuing certainty over uncertainty, stop embracing uncertainty, and simply grab our fears, place them in pocket, and get up and go.

Aw.

This may sound silly.  This may sound Disneyesque <mostly if you haven’t actually read Peter Pan and only know the Disney Tinker Bell>.

But do not disregard the thought.

Tinker Bell sought something better even when faced with reality. She desired to create the future. She guided from adventure to adventure. She may not have liked all her companions, but she never desired less for them at the expense of something more for the ones who mattered most to her.

Oh. And she had pixie dust.

Metaphorically, I could argue we all have pixie dust it just seems irrational to think so in our rational brains.

Seek your pixie dust. Tap into your inner Tinker Bell. Have faith and maybe find a Peter Pan or two to trust on your quest. And maybe reflect on the fact the fear of the known, the certainty, is equal to the fear of the unknown/uncertainty, and that 2021 will be where norms are redefined, adventures will abound and Life’s value is found in valuing the fact 99% of us have a 100% daily survival rate.

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“There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains,

And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,

But we’ll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost –

We won’t take our place on the shelves.

It’s better to fly and it’s better to die

Say the wicked girls saving ourselves.”

“Wicked Girls Saving Ourselves”>

—–

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“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Winston Churchill

====

Merry Christmas everyone … and to celebrate I will go back in time a little.

My gift to everyone who visits Enlightened Conflict this year is that I share the most famous gift a writer has given Christmas … the answer to the letter to the editor to “Is there a Santa Claus?”

Go back in time, but please don’t lose your sense of child wonder in what makes Christmas so great in the present.

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Is There A Santa Claus?
Editorial Page, New York Sun, September 21, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

———

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy.

Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias.

There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus? Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

—————————-

Wonderful words any day … wonderful words for today.

Merry Christmas.

So. Getting gifts at Christmas is awesome, but it always seems to take music to create the Christmas spirit.

With that thought … I started thinking about my top 5 Christmas songs.

Anyway.

I began with 5 but the list kept growing (& I am sure I have missed some awesome Christmas songs). It is a mix of traditional and non traditional. But here are the ones I would request to get me in the Christmas spirit.

Numero uno.

No doubt.

Any Christmas anywhere … I will never get tired of this song:

Nat King Cole and The Christmas Song

Ok. I have no clue what chestnuts are and no idea whether roasting them over an open fore is a good idea or not … but dammit … if I had chestnuts I would roast them.

No Christmas is complete without this song.

Next.

A classic (most young people have no idea who Dean Martin was and almost everyone forgets he actually sang in between cocktails).

Dean Martin singing Let it Snow

And then Amy Grant.

I am not a huge Amy fan in general but I would have to say she is my top female xmas singer. I think she could sing any Christmas song and … well .. it would sound like it was meant for Christmas.

Amy Grant and Grown up Christmas List

And then a different Aimee.

Aimee Mann Christmastime

On a side note … I almost picked Calling on Mary or her vision of The River, both of which sounds languid and nice, but kind of has that infamous Aimee ironically truthful realistically darkish side to the holidays …

I heard the sidewalk Santa say:

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

Salvation’s coming cheap today

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas

Next. My first memory of a non classic contemporary Christmas song.  And it still sounds great today.

Waitresses Christmas wrapping … a classic.

Next.

Beautiful voice. Beautiful Christmas song. Sappy but good stuff.

Carpenters singing Merry Christmas Darling

Next.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Yikes.  There are a bunch of great renditions to this song. Maybe my favorite? Vonda Shepard’s Merry Little Christmas.

Next. How The Grinch stole Christmas is probably the best Xmas cartoon of all time (maybe Charlie Brown close behind), but this song is awesome … the original  The Grinch song:

But. It may be Hip Heavy Lip’s version that introduced this song to an entirely new generation (NEVER get tired of this).

Next. Pretty much anything Leigh Nash sings sounds good but holiday songs … well … she should do an entire cd sometime …

Sixpence none the Richer  Carol Of The Bells

Next. Whew. Incredibly sad and thoughtful and … well … heartfelt … which <the latter> is what I expect Christmas is really all about.

Robert Downey singing The River:

Next.

The one people probably haven’t heard ….

Glasvegas  singing A Snowflake Fell (And It Felt Like A Kiss)

Next.

For a slightly different sound and it sounds fun in the traditional xmas music mix … Sally Shapiro sings kind of a techno Christmas song …

Anorak Christmas

Next. Cocteau Twins are an acquired taste in general … and their sound is always up & down (to me). But.  They nailed this one.

Cocteau Twins and Frosty The Snowman

Next. Just a nice one. And Heather Nova’s voice is a nice contrast to the more traditional Amy Grant and Leigh Nash and Karen Carpenter.

Always Christmas by Heather Nova:

Next.

Christmas (baby please come home) by Death Cab for Cutie

I love Ben Gibbard’s voice. And I love this version of the song. Whoda thunk one of the best emo bands of all time would crank out a good holiday song.

Next. A good modern one.  Surprisingly good.  Surprisingly little played.

Sleigh ride by KT Tunstall:

Next.

Listen The Snow Is Falling by Thea Gilmore

(had to include this one)

Its just nice. And you never hear it on the radio <and most people have no clue who Thea is>.

Next. Oh yeah.

O Holy Night by Josh Groban (his voice sounds pretentious at times … but … for the holidays? … his voice was made for songs like this).

And lastly. Just can’t leave this one off my Christmas list.

So This is Christmas by John Lennon

How could this not make anyone’s list?

Done.

That’s it for my list. 19 songs (if I counted correctly)

I have more but these are songs I like to hear in order to get me in the melancholy state and upbeat state and in general … the Christmas state.

Thinking about the past.

Remembering friends and family <here and gone>.

Reconnecting.

Seeing the joy in a child’s face …. Ok … anyone’s face.

Ok.

To make it an even 20. Just for a smile. Listen to Guster sing “¿Donde Esta Santa Claus?”

Merry Christmas.

===========

“She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still.”

e.e.cummings

===============

Life never really makes it that easy for you.

Sure.

It gives you some incredibly beautiful and happy moments, but, in general, it kind of takes every opportunity to kick the shit out of you.

Now. Sometimes its a big kick and sometimes its just a bunch of small kicks but they all net out to basically one thing – what Life does to most of us is wear us down. Make us tired.

In fact, pretty quickly you find out that part of being an adult is basically a long series of conversations about how tired you are where you find yourself smiling sympathetically at someone who is telling you how tired they are as you stand there thinking there is no fucking way they are nearly as tired as you.

I say that just to make a point.

Because while those conversations happen, and most likely happen too often, most of us are not really tired. Seriously. I mean that. If you tear apart your tiredness I believe mots of us just wish there were more glimpses of color in a daily-ness of greys.

Yeah. I could be wrong, but, in general, I sense the grind of everyday life is kind of gray to people. It just bleeds a little more gray into every moment of a day.

Now. Let’s just call that the base from which all colors & non colors arise.

Now. Let’s call that our ‘hell.’ Gray.

That said. Underneath everyone’s Life runs an underground river of happiness & satisfaction & colors <yes, I do believe those suffering from depression have an underground river flowing with sadness & despair & blacks>.

The water is always flowing but sometimes/often we don’t always see it or taste it. And that is where I believe ‘stop and smell the roses’ is slightly off because I think it is more ‘pause and smell the roses.’

You only still yourself for a moment or two to enjoy some color within the gray. But. You don’t really stop.

It’s like my underground river metaphor.

You can pause at some water fountain and refresh yourself. And then move on. But if you stop and try and drill down to the underground river, well, the world doesn’t stop. So while you are working hard to drill down to something you certainly know is worthwhile all the rest of the world, gray as it is, is chugging right along.

The problem here is you say you are successful because you have drilled down and drink deep of the freshest and clearest of the happiness water and you smile refreshed. You have not only completed a task, and a worthy one, that task offers a very satisfying result.

Ok. A task result, not an impact result.

I say that because when you stand up to move on you have actually compounded your Life issue. You are now refreshed, but farther behind or maybe caught in some unrecognizable place because not only is everything a little, or a lot, gray — its a different gray spot than when you stopped.

I use the metaphor to make a point.

It may sometimes feel like we are going through some version of a daily hell, but most of us do so not standing still because we know moving is really the only way to access some of the true colors available to us in Life or access some of the freshest of fresh water to refresh ourselves.

Underground rivers appear in oasis, in above ground rivers, fountains and waterfalls. You just got to find them without stopping to drill down for them. And you don’t find them by standing still. You find them by not being still.

Look. Most of us are fairly invulnerable to the gray of Life. Aggravating to us, maybe even a little hellish to us, but not that dangerous to our overall existence.

But I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that this is because, well, at least we are not standing still.

 << ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED NOVEMBER 10, 2016 and PAINFUL REMINDER >>

=============

“There is an ancient Greek legend about harpies,” she told me. “They are shadows that can come to life only if they drink human blood.

The life of a scholar is the life of a shadow. When one participates in making the future happen, even a small part of the future—and this is what politics is about—that is when one who was a shadow can come to life.

But for that, one has to drink blood, including one’s own.”

=======

“I am not one and simple, but complex and many”

Virginia Woolf

=================

Ok. I am tired of talking about the presidential election. Shit. I was tired of the election itself before it ended. But I have been asked so many times about the result I am going to roll out one last final enlightened conflict thought on the election because yesterday I was mostly discussing the global repercussions, security/financial/nationalism, of the election choice.

I will begin with 62,984,828 popular votes. That is how many Trump received <give or take>.

That is 19.5% of the total US population <321,418,820>.

That is 25% of the total adult US population <247,813,910>.

That is about 31% of the total registered voter US population <a little over 200 million I believe>.

<just a note: about 72,000,000 votes, 29% of the adult population, actually did not vote for Trump>

Yeah. A minority just chose the most powerful position in the world. A minority just put possibly the most incompetent unqualified person to the most powerful position in the world.

But, most importantly, a majority did nothing to stop this from happening.

This is not an ‘anti-establishment movement.’

This is not a ‘reestablishment of conservative values.’

Nor is this a rejection of current policies.

This is nothing more than a large indifference to involvement with a sliver minority voice being pissed enough to push one candidate over the finish line.

Ah. That ‘sliver voice.’

Trump won Pennsylvania <+68,236>, Michigan <+11,837> and Wisconsin <+27,257> by 107,330 votes. Ironically … that is almost the same as the capacity seating for Michigan Stadium the home of the Michigan Wolverines.

Florida and North Carolina by less than 200,000 each.

With voter turnout so low <historically low in America compared to other democracies> the actual ‘difference’ is relatively easy to identify.

Trump’s campaign fully admitted that they had “major voter suppression operations” all with the overall intent to create and encourage a sense of disillusionment <whether it is truly fact or fiction> thereby encouraging an overall lack of enthusiasm to show up at all. Their campaign created one of the most negative ‘hollow of policy’ public discussions of all time.

And.

Well.

It worked.

Despite the fact that 87% of Congress was up for reelection and there were a number of state by state initiatives which will have a direct effect on the people living there and the fact the least qualified candidate of all time was in position to take the most powerful position in the free world … only one significant voting block segment really showed up <Latinos showed up, but represented too small a segment to overcome a significantly larger white voting block>.

White rural Americans.

Life, just as in this election, is filled with winners and losers. And no one likes to lose. And, to me, that is what this election revolved around. Rural America and working white people feeling like losers or they are losing … even when we all know they are not losers and many of them really are not losing <even though we most likely do not publicly verbalize that enough>.

Ah. But this all feeds into a perilous topic … white people and their identity.

Far too often when this topic comes up it is cloaked in white supremacy or simple racism … in this case it is not. In fact many people have researched some of the isolation populist thinking working its way through the Western world and consistently identify ‘a crisis of white identity’ as a common thread.

In this case it is more revolving around what does it mean to be part of this country, what is my role and what is ‘our nation anymore’ as well as “what should this nation be”.

As for identity … experts typically define it in two categories –

• “achieved” identity derived from personal effort
• “ascribed” identity based on innate characteristics.

Jessica Nagy

I bring that up to make the point that this election was not an indicator, for the most part, of any real pain, but rather of perceived pain and identity.

Please do not read that as any indication I am diminishing areas that have lost jobs and lost opportunities. I am simply making the point that, in general, lives are lived in relative comfort, people have jobs <even if they may not be the ones they really want>, the economy is growing and culturally we are as open as any country in the world. I am simply pointing out that many white people feel like it should be better than it is <even though what is ain’t that bad>. Therefore, if they feel like their role in the nation’s achievements is diminishing <perception wise>, they believe that it would be better if they had a larger voice.

I have purposefully worded it this way, as I did yesterday to a consulting firm, because this is not racism — this is ‘doing and fixing’ at its core. It is achieving and ascribing.

White rural people, hard working Americans, believe they offer the solutions to achieve as well as they ascribe themselves to the solutions. And you know what? The other 25% of non whites who voted for Trump most likely also would throw their achieving & ascribing hats into the same ring.

We cannot get around the fact that older white people were the reason Trump will be our next president.

We cannot ignore the truth that a portion of that older white people segment are racist and xenophobes.

But we cannot ignore the larger truth that this segment believes their white identity, as achievers & ascribers, actually reflects a larger identity of what makes America great.

And, on that? They are correct.

Anyway.

Hillary did not lose the other night.

Working class America did not win the other night.

White identity did not win the other night.

America lost the other night.

I am not suggesting having Hillary Clinton as our president would have been a resounding win for America all I am suggesting is that Trump, an asshat incompetent narcissist who I am hoping with my deepest hopes will actually rise to the occasion, is a resounding loss for America. And our citizenry lack of involvement and how we have elected to voice any displeasure we may have with the status quo was a losing tactic.

Lastly. I do have a piece of advice to the politicians who are now forced to work with Trump <and, on a side note, this drew some chuckles as I stated this yesterday>.

Trump is not a Republican nor is he a Democrat, nor is he a thinker, he is a tactical doer <with an eye toward how those tactics “look”>.

That means <part 1> … you would be foolish to believe that there is now a “dictate for Republican ideology as spoken by the people” and start believing you have a president who will ‘do shit’ <and, as note earlier, only 24% of adults ‘mandated’ that>. You may get some of the stuff done you want, but only if it meets the Trump “doer” filter.

That means <part 2> … well … those of us in the business management world are quite familiar with the incompetent ego driven leader focused on doing shit. They aren’t smart enough or skilled enough to recognize the true ‘good doing’ versus the ‘not-so-good’ doing. Their natural instinct is to just do. You would be foolish to try and block the doing. It is wasted energy <and I have the scars to prove it>. You have to learn to maximize the good and minimize the bad.

All that said. With an incompetent ego-driven leader in charge America will have some wins and some losses as he forges ahead with doing shit. It would be foolish of us to assume we are destined for the shithole. We will be forced to do shit and manage the shit he starts making us do. Frankly … the success of America resides less on Trump than it does on the people surrounding him. I have worked with shithole leaders before who surrounded themselves with good people who herded the leader’s doing stupidity into meaningful pastures of profitable use of time, energy and resources.

As I told someone yesterday, there will be costs <protectionism comes with an expense> and there will be profits <doing inevitably creates something>. There will be winners and there will be losers <both of which are yet to be identified>.

Sigh.

I am done with writing about Trump until he does his next anti-American buffoonish maneuver.

What I do know, for sure, being a business guy, what this election has done is permit me to see the problem to be solved. That is what a business leader dreams of.

The worst problem is the one you cannot see.

We can now see this one – identity (real or ascribed). Trump is not the leader to solve it … yea … he may make some decisions that will help business (most likely at the expense of morals), but he has no clue on how to solve the dividing thoughts of America and Americans. His role in this tragic comedy was to give voice to it.

It is now up to others to see it and solve it.

I end as I opened … when one participates in making the future happen, even a small part of the future that is when one who was a shadow can come to life. But for that, one has to drink blood, including one’s own.”

Participate in the future.

Remember.

That I was yesterday, this I am today and what I will be tomorrow is up to me.

“The best is the enemy of good.”

—-

Voltaire

==============

“My body is a parlor trick called survival.”

—

Jayy Dodd

==========

This is about comfort zones and being your best.

I think we discuss comfort zones, incorrectly, in 2 ways:

• It’s not stepping out, its pushing out
• It’s not fear of new, its fear of losing

Pushing out.

“Step out of your comfort zone” is the common wisdom. It’s not wise. It’s stupid. Comfort zones, for the most part, are a reflection of what we are good at. Maybe not great but the stuff that enables us to insure we aren’t village idiots. The size of your comfort zone is mostly a reflection of your risk taking attitude. That said. If you ‘step out’, you’ve (a) lost any possible advantage you may have to actually be successful outside and (b) even if successful and happy it is, well, outside your comfort zone and 90% of people are most successful day in and day out IN their comfort zone.

We should seek to ‘push out’ our comfort zone. It’s kind of like boundaries of learning and how that works except this is about what you are comfortable with not how you learn something new. Just accept that trying new things isn’t well rounded or neat & tidy, its uneven attempts in which you selectively attach yourself to something and try it. You push out in one area of your zone to stretch.

Fear of losing.

In a zero sum game attitude world your comfort zone is driven by a specific type of fear – “if I give up too much I will regress, not just lose or get no reward.’

Let’s address the elephant in the room … we all, all of us, believe we deserve some things. Yeah. Deserve. Part of that ‘deserve’ is keeping what we have.as we accumulate things, salary, wealth, ownership, pride, experience, etc., we start believing it is ours – we have earned it therefore it is our to keep. This gets even trickier for most of us because we tend to not let go of anything that has given us pleasure in the past <even if it is no longer pleasurable to us now>. Anyway. We tend to build our comfort zone around those accumulated things.

There are 2 slightly insidious aspects to this.

First is a belief you will always accumulate more simply because you have something. It’s a different version of hedonistic adaptation in that it’s not that because you have something you inevitably want more but rather because you have earned something you will inevitably get more.

Second is, in this particular discussion, your comfort zone doesn’t guarantee mediocrity or sameness it simply suggests you never attain the best version of who you could be. In fact. I would argue in this version of comfort zone you are more likely to touch upon your worst version than your best.

That’s what zero sum does. Instinctually in the daily grind of Life you will act in ways to insure what is in your comfort zone at the beginning will be in the comfort zone in the end. You may not view this is ‘worst version of self’ but it is clearly not going to arc your behavior toward the best version of yourself.

I won’t suggest changing your attitude (although you should) but rather suggest seeking your best version doesn’t mean stepping out of your comfort zone but rather pushing it out … making it bigger.

Zones have a tendency to dull us. Dull us from possible magic. I purposefully called it magic because it does have a sense of good as well as intangible trickery. Once senses are sharpened they cannot be dulled and in a world which has a nasty tendency to dull our senses … well … that may be the best argument for embracing the idea that magic does exist in the world and that is worth the effort to try and find it.

Lastly.

The least discussed aspect in all of our trite comfort-‘zonism’ is survival. Let me point out that not all uncomfortable is created equal and not all exploration is meaningful and regardless of comfort & exploration, situations are often situations of survival. And if that sounds dramatic I meant it to. Comfort zones are the places in which we believe we are most likely to survive the onslaught of Life. It’s our place to crouch and react when shit hits the fan. A comfort zone more often than not, isn’t about living life to its fullest it’s about not dying.

And that permits me to go back to platitudes. I am sure everyone has either heard of or read “Good to Great.” Well. Voltaire only beat that book by about 200 years and he thought up that shit all while trying not to die in a duel or get his head chopped off.

Two points with his quote.

First is my personal soapbox. Just because something is old doesn’t mean it isn’t smart. I didn’t need an entire book to tell me about good to great. Voltaire said it in one line.

Second is the truth behind the thought. You can settle for good or you can do something better. I don’t need a book for that either. But what the books don’t tell you is everything you do is grounded in survival. Do, or don’t do, based on an assessment f whether I survive or what I have survives or what is important to me survives. If that sounds defensive, it should. If that sounds lie it is grounded in what someone could call your ‘comfort zone’, it is.

Comfort zones, in general, are your body’s parlor trick. Your parlor trick for survival. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek to do some uncomfortable things but it does mean you probably shouldn’t be stepping out of you zone but rather pushing it out selectively.

Stepping out increases odds of dying. Pushing out increases odds of surviving. Simple as that.

———-

“There’s a beauty in all my imperfections and he’s the one who holds them up for me to see.”

Crazy/Beautiful

——————

“Nobody is perfect. Everyone has their own little idiosyncrasies. Some people call those imperfections, but no, that’s the good stuff. “

Robin Williams

—————————–

“A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

The Twits <Roald Dahl>

——————-

“الجمال لديها الكثير لتفعله مع الطابع

“Beauty has a lot to do with character.”

Arabic proverb

—————

Let me begin where I will end … there is beauty in imperfections.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Well.

That would imply being authentic is all about being as beautiful as you can be – imperfections and all.

Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Okay. That said.

Why the hell don’t brands, companies & marketers not only accept this, but embrace it. We talk about “authentic” and “being human” and, yet, businesses run scared of anything less than being some perfect droid of humanity <you cannot be a droid & human>.

It’s like they want something, but are not willing to accept what they want. Look. We’ve danced around this authentic concept in business for a while. Far too often it reaches some absurd levels of “how can I be authentic” which is weird. You are either authentic or you are not <and you shouldn’t have to be purposeful in doing so>.

** note: I much prefer genuine over authentic.

I believe the absurdity is centered on the fact businesses have an uncomfortable relationship with authenticity. They talk authentic/human, which means embracing imperfections & flaws, but are scared shitless of anything less than perfection & flaws with ‘customer service’ <or anything for that matter>.

In other words. They seek to be authentically perfect <an oxymoron>.

It is usually here where I pull out the 2012 Trendwatching Flawsome trend where they stated: “brands that behave more humanly, including showing their flaws, will be awesome.”

————-

While many trends are all about the new, it’s always worth remembering that success in business in the end is more about being aligned with consumer culture than just being aware of ‘new’ techniques and technologies.

While 2011 saw new levels of consumer disgust at too many business’ self-serving and often downright immoral (if not criminal) actions, stories of businesses doing good (Patagonia! Ben & Jerry’s!) remind consumers that personality and profit can be compatible.

In fact, in 2012 consumers won’t expect brands to be flawless; they will even embrace brands that are FLAWSOME*, and at large (or at least somewhat) human. Brands that are honest about their flaws, that show some empathy, generosity, humility, flexibility, maturity, humor and dare we say it, some character and humanity.

————————–

I agreed with that trend then and I agree with it now. A Flawsome authenticity should be what every sane business should seek – internally with employees & externally with customers.

But they just can’t seem to get there mentally. Companies want authenticity, they want ‘human’, but don’t want the imperfections.

Brands don’t find imperfections interesting, they find them concerning. Why? Far far too often we use imperfections to point out those things we so flippantly refer to as ‘flaws.’  Here is a thought. Maybe we should refer to imperfections as “beauty marks” and stop being defensive about them.

While I would argue there really is no such thing as perfection for the sake of today’s discussion, let’s say there is. I do so with Walt Whitman in mind:

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”

Within the multitudes lies the most interesting imperfection of all — contradiction. More often than not we look upon ourselves as imperfections but something, or more often, some things simply contradict.

Our internal thoughts conflict.

Our opinions conflict … with each other as well as with others.

Our actions can contradict <nice at some point & not so nice in a similar situation>.

This creates a problem for a business.

In business, perfection, for some odd reason, seems tightly tied to consistency. Some tenuous smooth link between what we desire, what we are, how we act and what we think. And any time this smoothness is rippled in any way somehow imperfection has entered into the equation. And, there you go, that is a bad thing for most business people.

Day after day I remind any company, any brand, any CMO:

• We are large.

• We contain multitudes.

• We are human <because business, inherently, are made up of its people>.

And within this large multitude there are loud voices, quiet voices and silent voices. All of which speak to us and for us. All of which use perfect words, use perfectly sensible well intended actions, to perfectly fuck up our smoothness.

Yikes.

All that perfection still creates imperfection. If you want to be authentic, that is the overall thought everyone kind of needs to get their head wrapped around. In the circular world of imperfection, or perfection <because they are actually one and the same simply different sides of the same coin> the most interesting in us, and of us, is always something of a contradiction.

I purposefully used appearance-like quotes to open this thought piece and have purposefully avoided discussing appearance in discussing beauty, perfection & imperfection. I did so not to tritely suggest that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ but rather instead to point out beauty is complex & simple and made up of the things you do & don’t do – not external looks & perceptions.

Authentic is complex in its make up of its largeness and multitude.

Authentic is simple because it resides in contradictions.

Even simpler in that it rarely, if ever, resides in some smooth unrippled feature – whether that feature be physical or within character. But maybe that is why imperfections are so difficult for us, as in sense of self, to manage. Contradictions are not easy. Interesting, but not easy. Not always easy to grasp and not easy to understand.  And in our unease we dwell on the imperfect feeling — on what is actually our perfect interesting aspect of who and what we are.

It is a battle, a debate, a whatever, I believe most everyone, most any businesses seeking authenticity, faces in some form or fashion.

===

“Not in the clamor of the crowded street, not in the shouts and applause of the many, but in ourselves, are triumph and defeat.”

Longfellow

===

 Look. There is always, and I mean ALWAYS, beauty in imperfections. It is sometimes not easy for someone to see because it is a contradiction – how can an imperfection be perfect <which equates to beauty>?

And, correspondingly, how can beauty be imperfect?

Well. All I really know is what I said before – all imperfection has some beauty.

I could also suggest that if you think of character, which is most likely the most important aspect of total beauty in a person <even impacting appearance>, that without some contradictions you will certainly be smooth, consistent & unrippled and less interesting <boring as a matter of fact>.

And who the hell wants to be an authentically boring business <or person>?

Anyway. I am done babbling. For what it’s worth <most likely not much>.

I believe contradictions are beautiful. Therefore wherever I see contradictions, within someone or in someone’s appearance, I see beauty. And I can honestly say that if you even want to tie your desire of “authenticity” to storytelling … I can unequivocally tell you that people are attracted to stories with some  tension and resolving some conflict.

There’s a set-up, a conflict, a villain that must be overcome and a resolution with a hero at the end. Using conflict creates the opportunity for a hero, even a flawed one, who can provide a solution <even with its imperfections>.

===========

“True perfection has to be imperfect, I know that that sounds foolish – but it’s true.”

Oasis

============

Here is what I wish businesses would grasp about “authentic.”

Authentic is being who you are, not planning how you will be.

Authentic is, well, being Flawsome.