So.
This is the Halloween enlightened conflict edition.
Enlightened because it will clear up some common misconceptions about witches (and women …. i think).
Oh.
And simply because I elected to use the witches of Macbeth as the first image don’t get nervous … this will not be a deep literary study of witches and symbolism and high falutin’ stuff like that.
This is simply shallow learning to enlighten people with probably a good dose of conflict to be generated.
Conflict because I would be willing to bet I am gonna get smacked by one of my female friends.
Anyway.
The whole idea of knowing witches (I would imagine we all do) is interesting.
And, for me, it begins with black clothing.
Probably 75% of my closet is black.
And a corollary that I have always been drawn to women dressed in black.
And witches always wear black.
And all black. (how is that for logic?)
I will admit.
Sometimes the black makes them a little difficult to see in the middle of the night but in general it helps maintain a mysterious appearance and an aura of mystique which has an allure.
In addition I would imagine there have to be mysterious scary heavy (oops … excuse me … witches of an ‘inappropriate weight for their body frame’ … gotta be careful … not to be PC or anything … but i am discussing witches ya know ..) .. witches .. but black is so slimming they all look like they are ready for the Transylvanian beach at the blink of an eye (should a guy give them a broom with free air travel miles to go).
Black is a witch’s/woman’s best friend (that is a postulate or a theorem I believe … something to do with Einstein’s speed of light I think).
And therein lies my belief we can learn several things about women from witches.
So.
In honor of Halloween, witches and my unending love of women in general here are the top 5 things that witches have taught me about women:
1. Brooms:
Bottom line. Give a “hi –performance broom” (one with all the bells & whistles) to a witch and she will love you forever (or at least until the next model comes out).
Give a woman a broom (hi performance or not) and you are going to get smacked (or worse … sleep on couch … forever).
Apparently the difference has to do with perceived work performance value (or at least that is what I am netting it down to). If you are going to give a broom to a woman as a gift it had better be for a business purpose and not for housekeeping. But I am not sure even if you give a woman a broom with the right intent or even an executive pen & pencil set that would be good either.
So.
Not sure what else to say here except … if you are going to give a broom to a woman make sure she is a witch.
2. Chocolate (or sweets in general):
Chocolate?
Are you shittin’ me?!? (at least that is what you are saying … because I know better).
Nope, i am not shittin’ you.
It is a little known fact but Halloween is Valentine’s Day in the witch’s world. Witchmates (a witch’s soul mate … because not all witch’s mates are warlocks) learned early on chocolate overcame a lot of relationship mistakes. And for a witchmate that was an important piece of learning (REALLY important I may add).
They discovered treating their witches well on Halloween translated into them being … well … less witchy. And the truth is that despite the fact witches and non-witch women believe guys don’t talk about anything other than beer & sports we do compare notes on how to screw up less with our mates.
So. Thanks to witches we now know how to keep all women from being witches.
3. Hats:
Witches have made me respect women who look good in hats. The famous witches of all time looked so goofy in their big floppy hats (but we didn’t dare laugh because they were mysterious and we were afraid of them) you thought “why do they wear them?” (Answer: because they could).
Nothing beats a woman who looks good in a hat. And if she wears a baseball hat you can be pretty sure she ain’t a witch cause I have never seen a witch in one.
4. Eating out:
You can pretty much expect if a witch is concocting something at home it is less likely to be a love potion then some type of “shrunken head” brew. Eating out also has the added bonus of giving them a break from concocting some potion and saving the eye of newt for another dining opportunity. Suffice it to say it is safer to eat out.
As a general rule this works with women also.
5. Confusing witch and bitch:
Let me begin with a simple truth …. never call a witch a bitch (or a bitch a witch for that matter).
And I mean … NEVER.
Trust me.
For example, little known fact, the Geico gecko is a New Zealand guy who had an unfortunate interaction with a witch in a bar.
So.
This is a Simple rule.
It is also, in general, a great rule for how you treat all women (whether they are a witch or not).
That’s it.
Just some learnings prompted by Halloween.
First. Let me state I know Alzheimer’s is bad. Very bad. So I use it as an example grudgingly but to make a point and not diminish the true difficulties that arise with the onset of Alzheimer’s.
But I do hope to showcase the depth of the point on this whole athlete alzheimers thing I m gonna write about.
Second. I use athlete loosely. At least as in with regard to me as an athlete.
While probably not the most naturally talented athlete or maybe not big enough or even fast enough I was born with incredible good hand-eye coordination.
And possibly blessed with some better than average twitch muscles.
And an innate ability to slow down fast moments within the game (other jock-like people will understand that).
All that said … what that meant was I could play sports relatively well.
Whatever the sport, if I cared, I could be competitive (not great) pretty quickly. In the end, beyond the Physical stuff, I pretty much think sports is instinctual. You either have it or you don’t. sure. There are a lot of weekend athletes who “make” themselves good … hours of practice and tons of lessons and books and … well .. whatever. But frankly they never look as good as natural athletes. Because, well, its not natural to them. Its not instinctual but rather its practiced.
So. While I am certainly not a professional level jock I do recognize that what I have come by naturally is a blessing … and the best playing is when it is by instinct and not by thinking. I certainly was always better the less I thought.
So.
I mention all that not to pat myself on the back but rather to set the foundation for the pain & frustration I am going to try and describe.
Which leads me back to Alzheimer’s.
I played a game of ping pong the other night. Or let’s say I tried.
I almost cried.
Its gone.
Ok. Maybe it was just gone and the next time it may show up.
Nope. The natural instinct was gone.
Yup.
A game of ping pong.
I know. I know. It was just one frickin’ game of ping pong (as my buddy who I tried to play with said). But. The bottom line.
Hand eye coordination gone.
Gone. Bye bye. Sayonara. Kablooey.
I sucked. And this was ping pong. My mind began racing toward the sports shit I actually cared about. And it became depressing very very quickly.
Because no jock will admit it … but this is our biggest fear.
Its not getting old.
Its not diminishing talent.
Its not that additional aches and pains.
Its not the extra 5 pounds.
None of that.
Its athletic Alzheimer’s. Its when everything your body knows cannot be remembered by your own body. And your mind races to do what you used to do and think what you used to think. But you can’t. Because it has nothing to do with “trying.”
It just was … and now it isn’t.
Simple as that.
As complicated as that.
As shitty as that.
As anyone who has played any sport competitively knows sports is mental. Beyond the actual ‘doing’ part … the real battle rages inside the often over circuited, over thinking, overwhelmed by multiple messages, brain.
One mistake, one question sneaking into natural self-confidence, one twinge of that dreaded overthinking, one moment of self-doubt. Al those one type things are an athlete’s natural enemy. Because they make what seemed natural then seem incredibly unnatural.
Because those are the things that yank you out of the intangible zone a natural jock falls into when they play into a quite tangible “think, think, think” mode.
This is different.
This is Alzheimer’s.
This isn’t about refinding the flow or snatching back what was once natural and getting it going again.
Because there is nothing to get going anymore. You can try and reach back mentally for that which was and that which is no more.
Even ping pong becomes an insurmountable challenge.
And if ping pong is insurmountable you can pretty much write-off anything that takes coordination (thank god beer drinking involves only minor coordination).
This, this thing I call athletes alzheimers, is it. The big fear of athletes. And it sucks when it actually happens.
Trust me. I ain’t picking up a ping pong paddle again for a very very long time.
Once again I have been enlightened. And a surprised enlightened. And by the Vatican. And, no, it has nothing to do with religion.
The dudes in the Pope’s Playhouse (and I use the term ‘dude’ loosely) have a Vatican’s Playlist on MySpace.
Oh.
Beyond the fact someone at the Vatican was cool enough to create a playlist … they also have a MySpace page <how contemporary is that … I now have a fairly odd image of the Pope updating his facebook page after cruising around in his little cart>.
The Vatican be rockin’ the house down.
Apparently their music experts are the theological producer of Alma Mater, Father Giulio Neroni, and Vincent Messina, producer of Alma Mater. (I am a little unclear what a theological producer is versus a normal producer but hey … it’s the Vatican … redundant staffing is their salary issue not mine). I was slightly disappointed they didn’t list Father Guido Sarducci … but whatever.
Anyway. Hold on for some surprises as you look at their MySpace playlist:
– Advocata Nostra by Music From The Vatican
Alma Mater Featuring the Voice of Pope Benedict XVI
– Uprising by MUSE <note … how cool is this choice?>
The Resistance
– Causa Nostrae Laeti by Music From The Vatican
Alma Mater Featuring the Voice of Pope Benedict XVI
– Il mare mi salva by Rosso Malpelo
RossoMalpelo “23 – con il pelo e con il vizio”.
– Mozart -Don-Giovanni by Ingrooves Symphony
A Beginners Guide To Classical Mozart 2
– He Doesn’t Know by Fleet Foxes <wow … another excellent quite random choice>
Fleet Foxes
– Changes by 2pac
2Pac Greatest Hits
– Regina Coeli by Music From The Vatican
Alma Mater Featuring the Voice of Pope Benedict XVI
Yeah. Just want to be clear.
That means almost a dozen years after its release … Tupac Shakur’s 1998 hit “Changes” has been selected by the Vatican as one of the ‘songs of choice’ on their MySpace playlist. Maybe he is easier for them to accept now that he is dead. Must be a soul & forgiveness thing. <note … another image I now have … a bunch of priests wearing a “thug” tshirt underneath their cassock>.
(but really … be serious … I wanted to type WT@ … yeah … but .. well … I am close enough to hell as it is)
Apparently this is the first time the Catholic Church has officially recognized the work of any popular American artist. With it, the song joins the ranks of works such as “Don Giovanni” by Mozart, the Vatican’s own “Advocata Nostra,” featuring the voice of Pope Benedict XVI, and “After The Rain,” by Dame Shirley Bassey (pretty good company for 2pac).
“The genres are very different from each other, but all these artists share the aim to reach the heart of good minded people,” the Vatican explained on its official MySpace Music page.
And the Vatican doesn’t stop their ‘hipness’ with their myspace playlist. They even have selected their 10 “Commandment” albums.
No kidding (although they don’t command you to buy them or go to hell or anything really cool like that).
Give these guys a couple of glasses of wine and they are moonwalkin’ (you can’t see because of their ‘cassocks’ but they have it down) to Michael Jackson and sitting in the dark meditating to Us & Them from Pink Floyd.
Call it the Vatican’s 10 commandments for good listening. The Holy See’s newspaper, L’Osservatore Romano, published a list of its favorite albums, and the results are …. well … interesting to say the least. But, hey, if they had Tupac on their myspace list why not some psychedelic rock on their top ten albums.
Below are the records featured in what the newspaper calls “a semi-serious guide on the road to good music”:
Michael Jackson: Thriller
The King of Pop’s sixth album became – and currently remains – the best-selling album of all time, with estimated sales between 57-110 million copies worldwide. The album features the hits Billie Jean, Beat It and the title track Thriller.
Oasis: (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?
The second album by British rock group Oasis was hugely successful upon its release in 1995, and is the third biggest-selling album in UK chart history.
Pink Floyd: The Dark Side of the Moon
Pink Floyd’s 1973 release The Dark Side of the Moon is one of the biggest selling albums of all time. The record features the singles Money and Us and Them and has sold roughly 45 million copies.
Santana: Supernatural
Santana’s album Supernatural was released to great acclaim in 1999 and won a haul of Grammys, including Album of the Year. Featuring guest artists such as Eric Clapton, Eagle-Eye Cherry, Lauryn Hill, and Rob Thomas, Supernatural featured the hit singles Maria Maria and Smooth.
The Beatles: Revolver
The Beatles released Revolver in 1966 and the album was a massive success throughout the world. The seventh album from the Fab Four includes the songs Eleanor Rigby and Yellow Submarine.
Fleetwood Mac: Rumours
The British-American group’s hugely successful album was released in 1977 and has sold over 40 million copies worldwide. Rumours includes the hit singles Go Your Own Way, Don’t Stop and Dreams.
Paul Simon: Graceland
Following his split from musical partner Art Garfunkel in 1979, Paul Simon released the solo album Graceland in 1986. Graceland was massively successful, and spawned the hit songs You Can Call Me Al and Graceland.
U2: Achtung Baby
U2’s seventh studio album was released in 1991 and is one of the band’s most successful releases to date. It includes the songs Even Better Than the Real Thing, One and Mysterious Ways.
David Crosby: If I Could Only Remember My Name
American singer David Crosby’s debut solo album was released in 1971, and features a host of other music stars, including Joni Mitchell and members of the Grateful Dead, Jefferson Airplane, and Santana.
Donald Fagen: The Nightfly
Steely Dan co-founder Donald Fagen released his debut solo album The Nightfly in 1982, and the record was one of the first fully digital recordings of popular music.
There you go.
I will admit. It typically takes a lot to surprise me but the Vatican has done it. Enlightened me in fact.
The Vatican be raising the roof on the house.
Whoda thunk.
Amen.
This is a rambling thought on living life.
I decided to start writing this one when I saw this quote:
“May the bridges I burn … light the way” – some unsourced blogger & Dylan from 90210
Whew.
I wish I had written this.
Living life burning bridges is an art.
And, by the way, there is bad burning bridges and good burning bridges.
If you are doing the right thing, for yourself and without harming others and keeping within a good ethical framework, the bridge you just burned needed to be burned.
That is a good burning bridge (one that lights the way for you).
And that is burning a bridge with character and builds character. Because it takes strength of character to make that kind of decision and make that kind of change.
No ifs, and or buts.
No debate from people who say ”you should never burn bridges because you never know when you will see that person again.”
Bullshit.
Too many times have I seen people pussy foot their way out of a bad situation because of fear of burning bridges.
What a bunch of bullshit.
This doesn’t mean you have to burn all bridges by blowing them up with a nuclear bomb. Sometimes simply tossing a Molotov cocktail on it as you leave it behind is fine. And the purpose behind this?
You burn a bridge so the enemy cannot get to you.
That is why burning a bridge is okay.
And that is why burning a bridge can have a purpose.
You do it because you do not care if you see that person or whatever reason you burned the bridge for ever again … because you never want to be associated with them again.
Burn the frickin’ bridge.
I have done it.
I will do it again (I am sure).
And I am just fine with it.
So.
How do I justify in my own head living life this way?
This quote summarizes it perfectly:
“Whenever I start to feel like my life isn’t where I want it to be, “Cops” is there to put everything into perspective. Yeah, I haven’t made all the right moves over the last 34 years, but I’m not hiding from the police under a kiddie pool, either.” – Carl Mayer
Success is relative.
Happiness is extremely personal.
And, in the end, the only person who truly has to live with your decisions is yourself.
So burn the bridges you can live without.
so.
Lets call this hump day in the world of writing for a blog. well. At least my blog world.
Yup. This post means I am officially on Wednesday in my blog world.
This is my 600th post, article, diatribe and/or nonsensical scribbling.
500 to 600 were the most painful and most difficult century of writing yet. Just like a Wednesday in a workweek it just seemed to linger but now that it is over I only see a good run toward the weekend.
It was painful in that in taking a job my writing time got all discombobulated (a great excuse to type that word).
And it was that same job where my laptop and thumb drives were stolen and a lot of writing that was waiting in the wings was lost and I needed to start from scratch.
And it was during this time I learned it is difficult, if not impossible, to recreate.
Well. Or at least I cannot recreate.
Or maybe better said … my creation process has nothing to do with going back in time and rebuilding a thought … I create because I care about something. Recreating that feeling is next to impossible. I write in the moment and with a thought or I don’t write.
And it was slightly painful because life got in the way a little too much … I had just as many writing thoughts (I have just as many random slips of paper with a brief thought scribbled on them) but I didn’t have as many writing times to expound on the thought (and that is slightly frustrating).
But I think that is what Life hump days are all about. Getting there and being able to look forward and gain momentum.
Maybe I needed 501 to 599 to remind myself I like writing. I like thinking. And I like sharing what I am thinking. And I need to find the time to build out these thoughts.
I do know I need to find the time to go deeper with some of the thoughts I have had. It isn’t enough to write about today’s economy in 5 paragraphs. It needs 5 pages.
Anyway.
As I reach another writing milestone I (of course) started thinking about how to share a deeper thought. Everyone may chuckle over this but the number 600 may be the most meaningless number in the world. It is absolutely not a milestone for anything. So I had to be creative but in doing so I actually was able to tap into something I truly value (history & historical perspective) as well as tap into something that conceptually I like but practically I sometimes find people put too much effort & energy behind (a deeper meaning to yin & yang).
600? Let’s visit 600 BC.
Apparently the Tao Te Ching, roughly translated as The Book of the Way and its Virtue, was written around 600 BCE by Taoist sage Laozi (or Lao Tzu, “Old Master”), while the book is central in Chinese religion, not only for Taoism but Chinese Buddhism, it has been a source of inspiration for books, philosophical babbling and business acumen (which is a little scary conceptually). I knew it had hit some fairly absurd heights when “the Tao of Pooh” (which admittedly is a creative little book) was published.
Regardless.
Lao Tzu (the author) has become a quote machine. How awesome is that? 600 BC and he is still being quoted. I can only hope that 2600 years from now someone is quoting me (I won’t hold my breath … but you gotta have some dreams).
But as I write about 600 (and use 600 BC as my platform for a thought here) I could do worse than spotlighting Lao Tzu as a move toward writing the next 400 articles & posts.
Good ole Laozi (also Lao Tse, Lao Tu, Lao-Tzu, Lao-Tsu, Laotze, Lao Zi, Laocius among a number of other variations … which, by the way, is also inspirational in that maybe some day if I keep writing there will be derivatives of my own name beyond Brewski, Brucifer, Bru – or Brew) was a philosopher of ancient China and is the central figure in Taoism.
And Laozi literally means “Old Master.” Laozi is revered as a deity in most religious forms of Taoism. Taishang Laojun is a title for Laozi in the Taoist religion, which refers to him as “One of the Three Pure Ones.”
Now.
For inspiration at 600 that is not bad. It certainly gives us all something to aim for.
An objective.
A spot on the horizon to keep truckin’ toward (although I don’t believe Lao would have said truckin’).
So here is how I celebrate 600 posts.
Taoism and Lao Tzu.
Making philosophical & practical impact.
I am fairly sure I could have chosen a worse objective.
Because it is certainly a better objective than suggesting I wanted to make my blog world-renowned.
Why? (even though that objective may appear more attainable).
Well. Think about it.
First.
Perspective.
In 1922 there were 600 radio stations in the USA.
There are now about 13,500 give or take several dozen.
And there are about 44,000 radio stations worldwide.
Second.
Current blog reality.
600 blogs? Shit. I don’t know when there were 600. It sure ain’t now.
All I know is the last number I saw was that there are over 112.8 million English based blogs (does not include all the 72.82 million Chinese blogs).
Given those numbers? I will take my odds of achieving my Lao Tzu objective more so than an objective of making my blog world renowned.
Because I also tend to believe Lao never intended to be “an architect of fate” (to quote someone else instead of Lao). At some point he probably decided that small actions can make a bigger impact so he focused on doing small actions well.
My blog is a small action. And as long as I continue to stand up for what I believe and write about it I have to believe everyone is in some small way an architect of Life. Lao started small. What the heck. Don’t we all?
That said.
I better get started on 601+.
I live near a university and last weekend was moving in day.
It was packed with parents and new students and those coming back and renewing relationships and unloading and facing the unknown and everything that college is all about.
Beyond the fact looking at all these fresh young faces made me feel pretty frickin’ old … it did bring back memories.
Firsts.
Freshness.
Fun.
Friendships.
Fears.
Family.
Fame
Failure.
Fate.
Facing the unknown.
(it seems like i could discover a lot of F’s to use)
Driving thru campus you see it all and remember. The step from high school to college is a leap. A huge leap across a chasm.
Yeah. But everyone gets across (no one actually tells you that when you get there though).
But once across it is as if you have entered a new country. You have become a citizen of someplace new with new rules and a slightly different constitution and ‘declaration of independence.”
Even the non freshman years are steps. Renewed friendships. Different challenges. New fears. New failures. New successes.
It is a fact. College teaches 2 lessons. Education and life. and, by the way, that is one of the reasons why I am a huge proponent of having someone go to college. While I am not sure (ok. I am actually sure on this one) everyone who goes to college is smarter than peple who do not go to college I do believe the life experiences are invaluable for dealing with things later on).
Anyway. I believe that many who fail in college classes fail not because of lack of brain power but because they fail at the life trials they are tasked with.
And I thought as i looked around me driving through campus which of the fresh faces I saw today will succeed and which will fail?
I admit it brought back so many personal memories. Memories of how I danced upon my own precipice of failure several times. Looking back it is easier to see what happened.
At the time my parents were sure I would fall. They believed I would fall because of the education challenges. They didn’t believe I was up to those challenges (or maybe better said they were unsure I was smart enough).
If I knew then what I know now I would have told them it wasn’t the education. It was life. I danced with death on the precipice of life. I doubt I could have explained it well enough to be accepted by them but I see it now. And I wonder which of these young faces will dance the same dance.
It also reminds me why I like to teach. And why people ask me to teach. I always weave in a life lesson to the education lesson. I absolutely believe knowledge is power. And teach that way. But I also know that even the smartest have to face life. And life is a shitload tougher than any college class you can take (although it may not seem that way at the time).
And college is just one big life trial.
Its kind of like a trial run for life and career. It is certainly a trial run for who you will end up being in life – character, resiliency, respect, etc.
Anyway.
Moving in day also reminds me of what changes and what stays the same.
The hair styles stay the same (although the women may sport more variety of colors than in my day). Short hair is cool as is long hair. Just depends on what kind of cool you want to be.
Hats. Baseball hats. Panama hats. Floppy hats. Beanies. Whatever. Hats.
Tight clothes and baggy clothes. Just depends on what statement you want to make.
This year? Big colored sunglasses on girls. It used to be the big black jackie onassis sunglasses but that’s now for older women. Today its about colors and big RayBan looking colored framed sunglasses (I saw yellow, white, pink, red, blue and multiple variations of those colors).
I think every fashion designer should attend a moving in day just to get a sense of what is “in” and what isn’t.
There is also a sense of energy and excitement and angst that is difficult to explain but you wish you could put in a jar like you did fireflies and hope it wouldn’t dim despite the fact you tried to capture something that was never meant to be captured.
College moving in day.
Fun day.
A memory day.
Every once in awhile you read something really wacky. So wacky it becomes slightly hard to believe.
This one?
Moammar Gaddafi is looking for some PR help.
No shit.
A New Report Says Moammar Gaddafi Is Shopping For a New York PR Firm To Help Him Clean Up His Image.
Really Moammar? Are you serious?
It gets even better.
“Libyan Dictator Seeks Rep To Oversee Press Briefings and Prove His Claim To Power.”
Awesome.
“prove his claim to power.” Right. Public relations is gonna do that.
Here is what his new PR agency is going to be asked to do:
– polish his homicidal image
– help to counter the fallout of a civil war that threatens to topple his regime
– someone to head daily press briefings (and look good in Kevlar i may add)
– spread the good word on the tyrant’s “moral” and “legal” claims to power.
Ok. I cannot wait to see who would step up to the plate for this task.
Apparently this became news when a pitch letter an official in Tripoli emailed to New York and London agencies this month went public.
Ali Darwish of the Libyan Ministry of Information asked prospective reps to “present our just and fair case to the world” and claim the moral high ground. “We have good moral, political and legal logic supporting our position as the legitimate, sovereign and popular government of Libya. We also have proofs [sic] in written, audio and video forms to take our case forward,” he added, according to the pitch letter. Darwish even claims NATO attacks, which began in March in response to the regime slaughtering protesters, resulted from bad spin. “Libya has been under an unjustified media and PR attack which led to NATO’s military involvement,” says the email.
Alrighty then.
And I have some swamp land I want to sell in Florida to someone.
Anyone think a PR firm could help me?
So far there are no takers.
In the category of “let me state the obvious” .. Ronn Torossian of SWPR states “I highly doubt any PR firm will positively respond to this request.”
Geez.
I would have thought firms would have been lining up.
But. Whoever is interested better hurry up.
The somewhat not-so-solid government seeks to move quickly. “We can formalize any deal with your organization through a third party to help move things forward fast.” said the initial letter
And just in case you question the story. Libya officials have confirmed it.
According to an official with the Libyan Mission … “The government is trying to have the support of people outside the country,” said Dia Abubaker Alhutmany.
So. While this is absolutely crazy I got to thinking that maybe in some far corner of the PR world would believe this is an acceptable challenge for the field of Public Relations.
Therefore with this fascinating piece of gossip I swung my curiosity over to the public relations experts and sought out advice on whether Libya could solve their problems through PR.
Some expert states (which I thought was quite appropriate given my curiosity search) “Can public relations solve the world’s problems? Of course not. But can it solve all the problems for your business that appear out of the blue in the middle of the night and leave you pacing the floor? Definitely! Even the toughest cases can be fixed with a little savvy and wit.”
So with that I looked at his criteria (in italics below) and said “whoa, maybe Moammar has the right idea!”
Solvable issues (per a PR expert not me):
1. Freudian Slips
Your highly rated politician client is enjoying the love of the public and the comfort of a sure win come election day. Then one day he decides to foam at the mouth and manages to offend half his voters. Comfortable lead no longer exists.
Even worse, your opponent takes the gaffe and runs with it! They use it on every commercial, every print and Internet ad, during every speech. Before it gets out of control, get your foul-mouthed pundit out in public view to start making apologies and kissing babies! Then, have him publicly mingle with whichever group he offended to show what a great guy he is.
OMG.
This is Gaddafi! Moammar. Don’t hire anyone. Here is your solution. And every morning you should wake up, look in the mirror and say “gosh, I am a great guy.” A good way to start every morning.
2. Internal Rumblings
Times are tough, and your employees are naturally worried about layoffs. Once that rumor starts bouncing around the company walls, it could quickly lead to insubordination and employees bailing. If you pick up even the slightest of rumors your employees believe the company is having problems, hold an intervention to stave off any unforeseen problems it could cause! Reassure everyone their jobs are safe, and if there ARE problems within the company, be perfectly frank about them.
OMG (part 2).
Moammar. Do you see yourself in this situation? Stop shooting missiles and call everyone together and reassure them and, well, be frank. Once again. No need to hire anyone. You can do this (just leave guns at home in case you are tempted).
3. False Information
What a nightmare! Once in a while, something gets out in the press, be it a rumor or misunderstood info, that can totally derail your campaign. I honestly think this is one of the worst issues you can face as you probably had absolutely nothing to do with it! There’s no other option, though, other than to not only assure your customers the information is false but to also publicly show why the rumor is just that, a vicious rumor.
OMG (part 3).
Moammar. This perfectly describes your situation (as you stated in your request for PR help). Silly silly people believing all that false information. If you would just stop beheading all those people and simply publicly show why it is just a vicious rumor instigated by others who are jealous of you I can pretty much guarantee all will be well in the end (and you once again need not hire anyone)
4. Property Damage
When a fire tears through your small warehouse, ruining quite a bit of your product, people are worried their orders won’t get filled. Even worse, the future of your company is in jeopardy.
Of course, you’re not going to let a little fire ruin your life long dream, so you need to let everyone know that business is running as usual. Assure customers that there might be a delay in their order, but you firmly intend on honoring every order. Even though the fire wasn’t your fault, offer a coupon for their next order due to the delayed delivery.
OMA (part 4 excpet this time it is Oh My Allah).
Moammar, dude, you are surrounded by property damage these days. And not just fires. And I know for sure you did not personally start any of them. Offer people coupons. It will be great. Problem solved.
So.
In the end.
Maybe Moammar isnt that dumb.
Maybe hiring a PR firm truly is the answer to his problems.
please note:
(what a frickin’ wacky world we live in)
Whew.
Ok. Sometimes life slips up behind you and smacks you in the back of your head. And smacks you big.
And it is sneaky (in a really really mean way).
Imagine being on the internet and a headline pops up:
Stephen Everhart, Professor At American University In Cairo, Dead In Car Bomb Explosion
And this Stephen Everhart is your friend.
He is just Steve not Stephen to you.
Not in a headline about a car bomb.
He was a friend.
A friend you have maybe not seen every year but a friend you made a long time ago and have kept in touch with no matter the location or distance or whatever. A friendship built upon mutual respect. A friendship built upon the fact we could ask each other an opinion in an email or a brief phone call and know you would get a good smart answer (or point of view).
My friend was a professor at the American University In Cairo at the time he died (but he didn’t die in Cairo). Steve was probably one of the smartest guys I know. I had an undergraduate economics degree and he would humor me into helping me understand all the voodoo he knew.
I liked that our debates made at least a dozen of the articles I have written better. He had a habit of sharpening thoughts I didn’t even know had a dull edge.
And, I admit, I felt smarter when he would drop me a random email asking me to share what I thought about something he was thinking about.
And even more important to me.
He was fascinated by my projectglobalgeneration and the whole global education initiative idea (so I kinda felt like I was on to something).
Along with his smarts he had the wonderful enviable combination of a huge ego balanced by an everyday humbleness.
And he was funny.
And delightfully immature in a guy sort of way and incredibly insightful in others.
And all of those things made him one of those guys you could have a cold PBR with at a dive bar and then watch him stand up at an international Alternative Energy conference in Southeast Asia duking it out with one of the world’s smartest economists the next day.
And he was my friend.
What happened?
He was killed on June 23rd in Baghdad when his diplomatic convoy hit a roadside bomb near an Iraqi university. He was only 52 (and I turn 52 this weekend so it kinda hits hard).
He leaves behind a wife (another professor) and three children.
Steve was with other American educational contractors while visiting a satellite office of Mustansiriyah University in eastern Baghdad. He was working in Iraq with the United States Agency for International Development’s (USAID) Mission acting as a short term federal consultant to foster entrepreneurship education programs in Iraqi business and finance schools – a program that was supported by the Iraqi Ministry of Higher Education.
According to Iraqi police, Shiite militias who operate in the nearby neighborhood of Sadr City were responsible for this attack that killed about 40 others.
He was doing good things when he died. And he was doing something he was passionate about – elevating education (fighting ignorance as he and I used to talk about).
Steve joined the faculty of The American University in Cairo in September 2008 and was an Associate Dean of the School of Business.
He must have invited me at least a dozen times to visit. And he also stepped up to the plate during the recent riots and offered to go get another friend of mine who was visiting Cairo at the time and bring her to his home to get her away from the riots if she wanted.
He had a B.S and M.S. and an M.A. and a Ph.D. (and probably several other acronym degrees) and knew more about finance and economics than maybe the top .0001% of the entire world.
In a statement, the American University in Cairo memorialized Everhart for his, “warmth and intelligence, his affection for his students and colleagues, and the contributions he had already begun to make to a better Egypt.”
He was a smart, funny, likeable, humble, down-to-earth economist who was comfortable in a dive bar, beach chair, board room, convention podium, hammock or international forum using a translator.
And after I wrote all of this I received an email from another good friend of Steve’s who said it maybe better than I could ever say it:
“I understand the words I’m reading BUT he was smarter than this. He’s certainly braver than me…trying to raise Iraqi business school standards? He certainly had a passion. He did what he believed in.
Dammit. Dammit.
One of the smartest guys I’ve known with an ego to match…but it all wore so well. And, he had enough humility to respect the opinions of us ad/marketing types. He could be charming and scary smart all at the same time. Great combination. One of the most memorable people I’ve spent time with.”
Amen.
Better than anything I could have ever imagined writing about Steve.
I never met his current wife.
So if she reads this I hope she forgives me this one last thought.
I met Steve when he was just stepping out of his second marriage (I think). Already one of the preeminent economists in America (soon to be on his way to Washington DC to serve on a government economist committee) I asked him what he did on his vacation.
“I went to the Caribbean.”
(me) “oh, where.”
“Hedonism 3 resort.”
I almost fell out of my chair laughing (even better is I didn’t really know if he had or was kidding).
And then he started talking through an econometric model he had just designed and we were talking business.
He was smart (really smart).
He was a normal every day guy.
He was a good friend who I had the utmost respect for.
And I am gonna miss him.
Ok.
Women’s world cup. USA & Brazil. How frickin’ amazing was that?
Look.
I am about as likely to watch a woman’s soccer match as maybe possibly a high school championship ping pong match or maybe an ice dancing competition in Siberia.
But. I am a sports guy. And nothing captures the attention of a sports guy than a potentially defining moment.
So here I am finishing up my workout on an exercise bike at the gym kind of watching the world cup match but more interested in finishing up and getting out and about.
And then the defining moment.
The momentum shifter.
The character defining moment.
USA up 1-0. Marta, one of the most amazing ball skills players you will ever have the pleasure of watching, cuts into the box in front of the goal and gets a penalty kick when she gets dragged down. And then the penalty kick. Hope Solo makes a clean stop. A beautiful stop. Momentum shifts to USA and they are off and running.
Oops.
Nope. Rekick the penalty kick cause a USA player moves into box too early (a really bad call). Then the 2nd attempt is good.
The real kicker in the deal? A red card against USA and they lose a player.
C’mon.
Momentum (and a player advantage for the rest of the game) has clearly swept over to Brazil.
This is a defining moment. One of those huge momentous momentum shifts where you get one of those rare opportunities to measure true character.
This is where being a sports guy trumps the guy who wouldn’t watch women’s soccer if you paid him. And I watch to see what USA team does.
One player down. 65 minutes of it. And let me tell you. Brazil is almost Barcelonaesque with the way they find the gaps in midfield and gracefully shift the ball up the middle of the field. On offense they are something too watch. USA? Not that graceful. But tough. Really tough. No quit in ‘em.
They give up a goal and are down 2-1 but they just … don’t … quit.
And, even one player down, toward the end they kept pushing Brazil back into its own goal.
A little less than 2 minutes to go. And a USA player puts an absolutely perfect difficult crossing shot (Rapinoe is really the hero in this sequence) in front of the Brazil goal that puts the ball where only one person can get to it and USA scores.
And I mean the place goes frickin’ crazy. Absolutely bonkers. And you know what? I am going bonkers too. And I am thinking that everyone in America is going bonkers.
I mean, c’mon, one player down for almost 66 minutes of 120+ minutes of playing and you score with maybe one minute left in the whole frickin’ match to tie.
It was a defining moment. Even moreso than the ultimate win in penalty kicks.
Because this was a measure of character and will.
This wasn’t just about not quitting (because they could have lost 2-1 and no one would have said a thing about them quitting in the match). This was American spirit and will at its best. This was ‘team’ at its best. This was where the world’s best goalie said ‘I am gonna be the best’ and you guys act like we aren’t one player down. This team willed themselves to eke out one more opportunity to score even as time was running out. And this was after running up & down the field with one of the world’s most dazzling offensive machines in the world for over 2 hours.
Ok.
That was frickin’ amazing.
So how do you put the perfect cherry on top of the perfect ice cream sundae?
You bring in an American company who probably understands the true soul of America, not just its athletes but the soul of the people itself, and let them put a commercial on TV at the end of the match at the perfect time with the absolute perfect message. Nike put a solid, unequivocal unblemished period at the end of the women’s soccer team statement. They aired an extraordinarily well done commercial using the women’s soccer team coming out of the players tunnel that ends with “pressure makes us.” (which of course could be read ‘us’ or US – like of A). Awesome. Chilling. And perfect.
Nike: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E851cINimc0
An amazing game.
An amazing display of grit & character.
An amazing advertisement to remind Americans of what Americans are made of.
An amazing sports day. An amazing character lesson day.
Now that, ladies & gentleman, was frickin’ amazing. And, that, was a life lesson for all of us.