libyan public relations

Every once in awhile you read something really wacky.  So wacky it becomes slightly hard to believe.

This one?

Moammar Gaddafi is looking for some PR help.

No shit.

A New Report Says Moammar Gaddafi Is Shopping For a New York PR Firm To Help Him Clean Up His Image.

Really Moammar? Are you serious?
It gets even better.

“Libyan Dictator Seeks Rep To Oversee Press Briefings and Prove His Claim To Power.”

Awesome.

“prove his claim to power.” Right.  Public relations is gonna do that.

Here is what his new PR agency is going to be asked to do:

–        polish his homicidal image

–        help to counter the fallout of a civil war that threatens to topple his regime

–        someone to head daily press briefings (and look good in Kevlar i may add)

–        spread the good word on the tyrant’s “moral” and “legal” claims to power.

Ok.  I cannot wait to see who would step up to the plate for this task.

Apparently this became news when a pitch letter an official in Tripoli emailed to New York and London agencies this month went public.

Ali Darwish of the Libyan Ministry of Information asked prospective reps to “present our just and fair case to the world” and claim the moral high ground. “We have good moral, political and legal logic supporting our position as the legitimate, sovereign and popular government of Libya. We also have proofs [sic] in written, audio and video forms to take our case forward,” he added, according to the pitch letter. Darwish even claims NATO attacks, which began in March in response to the regime slaughtering protesters, resulted from bad spin. “Libya has been under an unjustified media and PR attack which led to NATO’s military involvement,” says the email.

Alrighty then.

And I have some swamp land I want to sell in Florida to someone.

Anyone think a PR firm could help me?

So far there are no takers.

In the category of “let me state the obvious” .. Ronn Torossian of SWPR states “I highly doubt any PR firm will positively respond to this request.”

Geez.

I would have thought firms would have been lining up.

But. Whoever is interested better hurry up.

The somewhat not-so-solid government seeks to move quickly. “We can formalize any deal with your organization through a third party to help move things forward fast.” said the initial letter

And just in case you question the story. Libya officials have confirmed it.

According to an official with the Libyan Mission … “The government is trying to have the support of people outside the country,” said Dia Abubaker Alhutmany.

So. While this is absolutely crazy I got to thinking that maybe in some far corner of the PR world would believe this is an acceptable challenge for the field of Public Relations.

Therefore with this fascinating piece of gossip I swung my curiosity over to the public relations experts and sought out advice on whether Libya could solve their problems through PR.

Some expert states (which I thought was quite appropriate given my curiosity search) “Can public relations solve the world’s problems? Of course not. But can it solve all the problems for your business that appear out of the blue in the middle of the night and leave you pacing the floor? Definitely! Even the toughest cases can be fixed with a little savvy and wit.”

So with that I looked at his criteria (in italics below) and said “whoa, maybe Moammar has the right idea!”

Solvable issues (per a PR expert not me):

1. Freudian Slips

Your highly rated politician client is enjoying the love of the public and the comfort of a sure win come election day. Then one day he decides to foam at the mouth and manages to offend half his voters. Comfortable lead no longer exists.

Even worse, your opponent takes the gaffe and runs with it! They use it on every commercial, every print and Internet ad, during every speech. Before it gets out of control, get your foul-mouthed pundit out in public view to start making apologies and kissing babies! Then, have him publicly mingle with whichever group he offended to show what a great guy he is.

OMG.

This is Gaddafi!  Moammar.  Don’t hire anyone.  Here is your solution. And every morning you should wake up, look in the mirror and say “gosh, I am a great guy.”  A good way to start every morning.

2. Internal Rumblings

Times are tough, and your employees are naturally worried about layoffs. Once that rumor starts bouncing around the company walls, it could quickly lead to insubordination and employees bailing. If you pick up even the slightest of rumors your employees believe the company is having problems, hold an intervention to stave off any unforeseen problems it could cause! Reassure everyone their jobs are safe, and if there ARE problems within the company, be perfectly frank about them.

OMG (part 2).

Moammar. Do you see yourself in this situation? Stop shooting missiles and call everyone together and reassure them and, well, be frank. Once again.  No need to hire anyone.  You can do this (just leave guns at home in case you are tempted).

3. False Information

What a nightmare! Once in a while, something gets out in the press, be it a rumor or misunderstood info, that can totally derail your campaign. I honestly think this is one of the worst issues you can face as you probably had absolutely nothing to do with it! There’s no other option, though, other than to not only assure your customers the information is false but to also publicly show why the rumor is just that, a vicious rumor.

OMG (part 3).

Moammar.  This perfectly describes your situation (as you stated in your request for PR help). Silly silly people believing all that false information.  If you would just stop beheading all those people and simply publicly show why it is just a vicious rumor instigated by others who are jealous of you I can pretty much guarantee all will be well in the end (and you once again need not hire anyone)

4. Property Damage

When a fire tears through your small warehouse, ruining quite a bit of your product, people are worried their orders won’t get filled. Even worse, the future of your company is in jeopardy.

Of course, you’re not going to let a little fire ruin your life long dream, so you need to let everyone know that business is running as usual. Assure customers that there might be a delay in their order, but you firmly intend on honoring every order. Even though the fire wasn’t your fault, offer a coupon for their next order due to the delayed delivery.

OMA (part 4 excpet this time it is Oh My Allah).

Moammar, dude, you are surrounded by property damage these days. And not just fires.  And I know for sure you did not personally start any of them. Offer people coupons.  It will be great.  Problem solved.

So.

In the end.

Maybe Moammar isnt that dumb.

Maybe hiring a PR firm truly is the answer to his problems.

please note:

(what a frickin’ wacky world we live in)