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“I desire the things which will destroy me in the end.”

Sylvia Plath 

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“All sins are attempts to fill voids.”

Simone Weil 

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Well. We all know at least one person who is always trying too hard. Or maybe they always seem to be overcompensating for something. Or even that they know they are ‘not as good as’ and spend far too much time trying to convince everyone they are at least better than maybe we know they are at something.

We like these people because we like the overall sense that someone is dissatisfied with the present person and seeking a better person.

We don’t like these people because we don’t like the overall sense of desperation and the trappings that often come with it.

We look at these people and … well … we think about ourselves and the crazy shit we do.

Let’s face it. Life makes us do a lot of crazy shit.

Okay. It doesn’t actually “make” us. It just full-throatedly encourages us to do some crazy shit.

It does so because it makes us desire  a shitload of things that can chip away at the better version of ourselves. And by better version I don’t mean external stuff but internal stuff … soul, integrity & character. But life has a nasty habit of encouraging us to think more about external stuff than internal stuff.

The size of your bank account.

How you look and what you wear and whether you sport Gap or Brooks Brothers.

The size of your house and whether you have gold drapes or Pier1 window hangings.

This kind of crap can screw you up let alone destroy you. You can get so caught up in what Life is whispering in your ear as what is important over time that is all you can hear and see.

Life becomes almost a parody of itself.

‘Less is more’ becomes the mantra of everything but to you, personally, where ‘more’ just seems to look less & less. Life can twist you into a pretzel trying to match up with all the external trappings of what it suggests you should desire. And as you get twisted all it really does is squeeze out character & integrity & principles drop by drop as Life twists harder and harder.

And as you get this squeezed out of you, well, you will naturally get thirsty.  Therein lies the big Life choice: what do you drink?

What do I mean?

Remember that kid you knew growing up who was always the bully, always the exaggerator, always the one trying so hard to show everyone how great they were? Well. At some point they realize that they are thirsty. Either thirsty for more or thirsty for what is getting squeezed out of them.

Now. That said. Don’t think Life is standing by silently.  All the while Life will whisper sweet nothings in that kid’s ear telling them what to drink to stay on their path to a ‘better person’ <and it is most likely the sweetest, least healthy alternative>.

Look. At some point we all get thirsty, even that young bully, and your Life gets energized by what you choose to drink <and I could suggest you get addicted to what you drink at a fairly early age>.

That said.

What I do know is that almost all of us end up being constantly nudged to believe we neither have enough nor are we enough.

And it is within those ‘not enough’ spaces, the voids if you wish to call them, in which we commit our gravest sins.

We commit our sins most often as we overreach.

Okay. We are tempted to overreach — in our words, our resumes, our successes, even our recaps of our ‘what we did today’ lists.

Some overreach more than others, but, we all get tempted. And, just as I noted above, it is explainable and understandable. When Life is trying to constantly tell you ‘not enough’ you will constantly be trying to showcase ‘more than enough.’ That is a natural response.

And this is where people separate themselves into two basic generalized groups:

those who define how they matter <enough> by an internal balance sheet

versus

those who define how they matter <enough> by an external balance sheet.

I am not suggesting it has to be 100%, internal or external, because most of us figure out how to commit as few ‘sins’ as possible and try and manage what they desire in a way they don’t ultimately get destroyed by their desires. Most of us figure out our ‘best version’ is pretty good; maybe less than some but more than others.

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“And so we all matter – maybe less than a lot, but always more than some.”

John Green

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But some people truly do end up in the 100% column.

It is quite possible someone like the Pope is close to the internal 100% judgement, but I imagine a lot of people actually slide close to this Life self-framing. It comes with some external expenses, but a shitload of people are willing to sacrifice those things because they know the gold curtains fade, the money can be lost and the houses can burn down.  External trappings can only provide so much comfort.

On the other end of the spectrum are the hollow people. They look glitzy. They sound confident <if not arrogant or blowhards>. They have all the trappings of success. But their sacrifice is whatever internal compass that can guide goodness or true fairness as well as empathy & compassion. They have sacrificed counting internal cues because external cues are all that count.  All the while they are trying too hard, seem to be overcompensating for something and spending a shitload of time trying to convince everyone they are at least better than maybe we know they are at something. They fill their spaces with sins and laud them as virtues.

All that said. We all know at least one person who is always trying too hard.

This is the person who desires the things which will destroy me in the end.

This is the person whose sins are attempts to fill voids.

This is the person we know, & often wish we could change, but is quite possibly the most unchangeable person we know.

We all have voids.

We just need to be very very careful that what we fill that void with doesn’t destroy us in the end.

Ponder.

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“I totally remember what it felt like to be so full …full of promise, full of dreams, full of shit.

Mostly just full of yourself.

So full you’re bursting.

And then you get out into the world, and people empty you out, little by little, like air from a balloon. You try like hell to fill yourself up with fresh air, from you and from other people.

But back then … it was so damn effortless to feel full, you know?

All you had to do was breathe. “

Jonathan Tropper

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There is certainly a point in most of our lives when we feel full. I don’t have a specific age to point to. I cannot even point to a specific time in Life <and someone is lying if they try and tell you something specific>.

For some it is 6.

For some it is 16.

For some it is 26.

For some it is 36.

But. Suffice it to say that there is a point in almost everyone’s life where you are full to bursting and you burst out into Life.

The amazing thing is up to that point it most likely didn’t take any work. Yeah. As natural as breathing you were inflated. You are full of everything & anything that suggested ‘possibilities.’

Uhm. And it is just about at the point you are at bursting, you begin deflating.

From that point on it is almost a battle of attrition with regard to how you view your possibilities. Shit. I could argue that from that point on it is a battle of attrition with regard to your esteem, meaning & sense of self. 

And here is where I really thought the quote nailed this thought.

People.

It is People who empty you little by little.

Not Life, ‘people.’

That is the truth <the truth many of us just don’t think about>. We far too often say Life is the enemy of possibilities and that it relentlessly attacks us or relentlessly places obstacles to what we want & desire.

But it isn’t Life.

It is always people who deflate.
To be fair, people can inflate, but more often than not people deflate. And deflating doesn’t have to be mean spirited or even well thought out attacks on what is ready to burst out from you.

It can be the pinprick of a ‘no.’

It can be the pinprick of a question.

It can be the pinprick of ‘are you sure?’

Well. The pinpricks that deflate are so numerous that … well … deflating is the pinprick version of a ‘death of a thousand cuts.’

Here is where it gets really tough. What got you inflated does you absolutely no good in defending deflation. Because you are doomed if all you do is try to re-inflate. A pinprick remains and you end up working harder and harder to try to not only re-inflate, but simply to maintain your buoyancy.

It is a fool’s errand to try and re-inflate.

Okay.

Maybe it is foolish only until you have mended some of the pinpricks and patched them up <mentally & psychologically>.

Now. I could suggest you try and eliminate the people with the fucking pins, but that is also a fool’s errand. It is foolish because there are more of them then there are of you. There is a relentless onslaught of prick people <sorry … I just wanted to type that>.

What I suggest is, first, recognize how you are slowly being deflated.

Acceptance is the first step.

What I suggest second is to build an internal mending kit. Accept the fact you are gonna get pricked, accept the fact that you cannot build an exterior which will turn away the pins <because that means you will be a hardened asshole oblivious to constructive criticism or real input> and accept the fact you simply have to mend yourself. Continuously.

You may be reading this and think I am full of shit.

To those people I suggest you sit back and think a moment. Think about what it felt like to be so full … full of promise, full of dreams, full of shit.

Don’t think about when that was <because that is irrelevant>.

Just think about how it felt.

I bet it felt fucking awesome.

I also bet you don’t feel that way now or anymore.

And, if I am right, don’t run off trying to re-inflate yourself, just start mending the small pin prick holes today. Cause if you do that … well … you are back on the path to bursting with promise, dreams and shit. Ok. Maybe not all the way to that, but certainly reinflating some possibilities.

Ponder.

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“A story is not like a road to follow … it’s more like a house. You go inside and stay there for a while, wandering back and forth and settling where you like and discovering how the room and corridors relate to each other, how the world outside is altered by being viewed from these windows. And you, the visitor, the reader, are altered as well by being in this enclosed space, whether it is ample and easy or full of crooked turns, or sparsely or opulently furnished. You can go back again and again, and the house, the story, always contains more than you saw the last time. It also has a sturdy sense of itself of being built out of its own necessity, not just to shelter or beguile you.”

Alice Munro

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My house is my story. And it is always on fire.

“We all live in a house on fire – no fire department to call, no way out. Just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down with us trapped in it.”

Tennessee Williams

Well. If my story is my house, well, I tend to believe we all live in a house on fire. For years I have debated what the Williams quote really meant to me and then I found the ‘house is my story’ quote and I had my answer. Now. I am no literary expert nor am I particularly insightful with regard to inner meanings, therefore, my thoughts are tainted <or skewed> by my attitude toward Life and living.

That said. Me? We don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn.

Oops. My attitude … my thoughts.

Well. I actually think a couple thoughts.  Inner fire. Outer fire. In other words. Our story is surrounded by fire. Within and without.

The inner fire.

This fire is inner curiosity.  A passion for something. A spirit and capacity for something  — it doesn’t have to be something big … just something. And it is always burning, uhm, and it can burn you up if you don’t set it free. It is a restless fire. I will make a generalization here, but, suffice it to say that we all know bitter people. People who have strong opinions, but are fairly close minded. They are burning up from the inside out. In the close mindedness they have squeezed the fire of life so tightly it fries them. The rooms in the house are burning and they have no place to go.

That’s why I rarely get angry with close minded people or bitter people I know that most of them are simply burning up from an inner fire that curiosity just hasn’t set free.

By the way, as a corollary, this also means that I don’t really believe the inner spark goes out in most people.

Why? The people that have lost that inner fire have simply lost hope <maybe I am naïve but I hope that they are few and far between>.

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“Do not let your fire go out, sparked by irreplaceable spark. And the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish.

And lonely frustration for the life you deserved but never been able to reach.  The world you desire can be won. It exists.  It is real. It is possible.

And it is yours.”

Lucas Scott on One Tree Hill

—

I think the inner spark always burns. That there is a fire within everyone.

Uhm. Yeah.

Everyone.

That inner fire is burning all the time, some people get burned up, others spread the fire, but that fire is there always awaiting to be rekindled if it is diminished.

“In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.”

Albert Schweitzer

Ok.

The outer fire.

This would be the house we live in burning down around us.

I believe the house we live in, Life, burns all the time. Because our story lives within a forest always burning.

Life isn’t easy.

People live.

People die.

And in-between the fire always burns.

Here is the challenge with your story being your house and the thought it is always burning. Sometimes in the comfort, the safety, of our home our story feels safe …  and we don’t even feel we are getting burned.

This is dangerous because in the end we kind of helplessly watch the fire slowly consume us.

I use safe and comfort and suggest stagnancy or standing still within the walls of what you know as an example of how you can be consumed by the fire.

Well. Because comfortable complacency does not mean you are safe.

Why? Well. The house is burning for gods sake. The fact is that this fire never goes out.

We can never stamp out this fire. It rages off and on, but is always burning. Safety within the home of what you know is temporary. Inevitably the fire will consume you by squeezing out what make life interesting and worthwhile. As a counterpoint to inner fire, it suffocates the fire within with the fire coming from without.

Your story burns. Your story ends up being a burned out shell with everything within extinguished. Just ashes where a raging story once stood.

Anyway.

I admit. I like the thought of my story being my house and that it is always on fire.

And while I am not a woman the following point resonates with me:

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She lives her life like a flame; a dance of purposeful chaos … her enchanting light can guide you and quell your fears … she’s hot; warming those who respect her and burning those who don’t.

She is a flame with an unforgettable glow. A weak man will try to dim her luminance… but her soul mate will take pleasure in fanning the blaze.“

Steve Maraboli

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A flame with an unforgettable glow. Whew. What a story that would be.

Therefore. Let it rage <I say>.

Story.

House.

Fire.

It is a life truth that we make choices that resonate throughout our lives … but how your story is told … and maybe how it dies … may be the biggest truth.

Aw. That’s too deep for today.

All I am fairly sure of is that the Life is burning around us. And what about your house?

Well. It may not be burning.

And me? I think of words from Julianna Hatfield:

“I wrote and wrote like the house was on fire, like words and chords and melodies were going to burn up and disintegrate into the air if didn’t capture them fast enough.”

Juliana Hatfield

I love that thought.

I will write my story like the house was on fire.

I will think thoughts before they disintegrate into ash.

I will live life like the house is burning around me.

I will hope I have a fire never quenched.

“Some men, like a tiled house, are long before they take fire, but once on flame there is no coming near to quench them.”

Thomas Fuller

Because if our Life is constantly on fire … whew … what a view we have from that upstairs window as it all burns.

My story.

My house.

My fire.

“The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire. We don’t need no water, let the motherf–ker burn.”

<“Tear the Roof off the Sucker” – chant often blended with ‘The Roof Is on Fire’ by Rockmaster Scott & The Dynamic Three>

My story. My house.

Let the motherfucker burn.

Now there’s an attitude to live by.

What’s your story?

Ponder.

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note: Imagine this was a ‘personal branding’ article. Whew. That would blow up some personal branding experts.

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“What people don’t understand doesn’t exist.”

Jan Carlzon

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“Chance favors the connected mind.”

Steven Johnson

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Ok. We chase a lot of things in business in search of ‘advantage’. We sometimes chase them so blindly and relentlessly we don’t even recognize the rabbit hole we have started running down. Differentiation is one of those rabbit holes.

Now. I have a warped perspective <it includes rabbit holes> with regard to differentiation and differentiating in the business world. I think it’s a shit objective. Ok. It CAN be a shithole objective. But suffice it to say I believe chasing differentiation is … well … yes … often a rabbit hole.

To be clear. I don’t dislike differentiation and I believe a well differentiated sustainable idea can dominate a market. But. Chasing differentiation seems to take on some fairly absurd efforts to attain the objective. In addition. I worry about differentiation as an objective because it points people in the wrong direction. If I were to kill this whole differentiation thing, I would begin by saying “define, define, define.” Define yourself with such a clear distinctive thought that permits you stand up and say ‘here is who I am.’

Here is the deal. Sometimes you may look similar to someone else. But more often you will look like ,well, you. And in a sometimes complex fragmented world where everyone is shouting how different they are <and people are becoming more & more cynical> distinctness can win. And more often than not you will also be, well, different. In addition. In today’s world about the only sustainable differentiation isn’t a thing, it is knowledge, thinking & what you have done with what you learn.

Regardless. The meaningless rabbit hole. In our blind pursuit of differentiation we can make some fairly absurd decisions with regard to thoughtless specialization, nuanced differentiation and niche definition. In our blind pursuit of differentiation we can gleefully land on some ‘spot’ and declare differentiation victory only to have it all negated because of lack of alignment throughout all aspects of operations. Attempted, or false/meaningless, differentiation is useless and distracting and a rabbit hole.

Bottom line on differentiation is the reckless pursuit of it encourages us to lie to ourselves, i.e., convince ourselves of ‘true difference’ when it is simply meaningless differentiation. And therein lies the worst of the rabbit hole. Pretending to not see the truth, or maybe <to be kinder>, to pretend it is what it isn’t.

—————

“… the person who pretends to not see the truth is committing something much worse than a mortal sin, which can only ruin one’s soul – but instead committing us all to lifetimes of pain.

The truth is not just something we bring to light to amuse ourselves; the truth is the axis munid, the dead center of the earth. When it’s out of place nothing is right; everyone is in the wrong place; no light can penetrate. Happiness evades us and we spread pain and misery wherever we go. Each person, above all others, has an obligation to recognize the truth and stand by it.”

Jacque Silette

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That last point is semi-important because many business people simply ignore truth as they pursue this elusive <and debatably poor objective> thing called differentiation. Far <far> too many business people embrace acceptable doubt and the possibility that a stupid belief might have something going for it in the pursuit of ‘differentiation’ all the while completely ignoring something that makes you distinct <but possibly not different>, or, let’s call it ‘an obvious and rational truth.’ People ignore it because they believe it will get you nowhere.

Trust me. These are the meetings and discussions in which I often sit dumbfounded and silent and thinking ‘wow … the rabbit hole just gained a whole new crowd of loons.’

—-

“…I was calm on the outside but thinking all the time.”

A Clockwork Orange

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Our relentless pursuit of differentiating most often than not leads to an unimportant product feature <not what customers consider valuable>

–——-

“Differentiation is a unique quality, perceived or real, of a good or service that distinguish it from a competing good or service…”

Your Dictionary.com

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Look. I fully realize that the need to be distinctive and competitive are the reasons why the company needs to think about differentiation.  However, differentiation can take on so many faces there is no reason you should end up chasing down some rabbit hole for some elusive ‘this is what you MUST seek’ objective as defined by one expert <only to have another expert state unequivocally you need to chase another completely different shiny object>.

Suffice it to say, I can almost guarantee whenever someone brings up differentiation it is more often than not simply code for “please enter this rabbit hole.”

Next. The perfection rabbit hole. On a parallel course is a similar group chasing perfection often ending up in the same rabbit hole as the differentiators <can get awful crowded in that business rabbit hole>. The pursuit of perfection is an insidious rabbit hole. Its stench seeps into the darkest corners of an organization. And while the stench is enough to make anyone’s stomach heave most organizations have people with no real ability and yet strive to maintain an aura of ability under the guise of ‘seeking perfection for the good of the organization.’

More good employees are actually LED into the perfection rabbit hole than employees who actually CHOOSE to dive into the perfection rabbit hole. That said. Organizations are built over this particular rabbit hole. Every organization. It is the unfortunate burden of every organization to deal with the pursuit of perfection.

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“Just because you took longer than others doesn’t mean you failed.”

Hassann

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Maybe that is my biggest point about rabbit holes and business. Some of the things we seek most in business, whether it be differentiation or perfection or whatever silly thing you have decided will better your business, always seem to take longer than what you want. We get impatient. And if we get really thoughtful about this whole impatience we would realize that our aggravation is with Life and not any inability within ourselves <or even in assessment the foolish pursuit of this un-real reality objective>.

Note:

we SHOULD be more thoughtful about this more often … mostly because if we do not far too many of the wrong people get fired <the right ones> and too many of the wrong people <the wrong ones> get praised and encouraged to maintain the ‘pursuit’ for the good f the organization.

Regardless. Life does not suffer fools lightly. Life is oblivious to your impatience <and relatively indifferent to you in general>. And Life bleeds into any and every organization.

How does Life deal with the fools and silly impatient people? Rabbit holes. It gives us rabbit holes to chase after silly things and dive into in our relentless pursuit of attaining “it” and waste our lives wandering aimlessly within.

But here is where Business and personal Life diverge.

In personal Life you are responsible for the stupid choices you make. Choose to enter a rabbit hole and the issue is all yours to own. In business you can actually get shoved into a rabbit hole whether you want to or not.

All I can tell you is that when I hear someone leading a discussion about ‘how are we different’ and ‘what’s our differentiation?” I start swiveling my head around scanning for rabbit holes.

All I can tell you is that when I hear someone in the hallway espousing the need to pursue perfection I start swiveling my head around scanning for rabbit holes.

 All I can tell you is that when I am in a meeting and someone is discussing both differentiation and perfection I don’t swivel my head, I just sigh, because I know I am already in a rabbit hole.

That is business … and rabbit holes. Ponder.

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“Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it.”

via creatingaquietmind

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“Well I guess it’s only life,

It’s only natural we all spend a little while going down the rabbit hole. “

The Shins

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“We don’t create a fantasy world to escape reality, we create it to be able to stay.”

Lynda Barry

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Ok. We chase a lot of things in Life. We sometimes chase them so blindly and relentlessly we don’t even recognize the rabbit hole we have started running down. Happiness is one of those rabbit holes.

Whoa !

WTF.

Happiness is a rabbit hole?

Well. Suffice it to say happiness is a tricky thing.

Having it is awesome.

Seeking it is … well … a rabbit hole.

The search injects us with most of our everyday stress which means most of our stress has nothing to do with what we have, but rather what we don’t have <seeking what we want in other words>.

And while wanting a new car or some shirt or the cool new phone is a tangible ‘want’ <and not even close to sending you down a rabbit hole>; happiness is much more elusive. In fact. Much more elusive than you would imagine <or want>.

First. Our brains struggle to remember happiness in a realistic way. Semi-happy moments in the past take on a Life of their own and become exponentially happier in the memory. Yeah. Happiness has a wary relationship with reality.

Second. Our brains relentlessly tug at and tease out the minutiae found in unhappy moments. This, ultimately, translates into the fact we cannot seem to forget unhappiness and inevitably, because of that, do anything – include some absolutely absurd things – we can to avoid it.

Therein lies the rabbit hole. Life is not meant to be avoided.

Shit.

Life cannot be avoided <whether you try to or not>.

What do I mean? While we seek to control our own destiny and write our own fates … others grab our Life while we aren’t looking and write whole chapters for us that we can only look at and say “WTF” just before the inevitable ‘not written by us’ happens.

———

“Life is like a library owned by the author.  In it are a few books which he wrote himself, but most of them were written for him.”

Harry Emerson Fosdick

————

And all that ‘not written by us’ stuff keeps on getting in the way of what we want to write about happiness for our Life as well as it gets in the way of erasing the unhappy shit. This particular rabbit hole, this relentless pursuit of happiness, makes Life particularly difficult.

———-

“It hasn’t been easy, and it never will be. After all, every day is also a chance to slide back into the darkness. To live in ourselves and our regrets, instead of this moment. To run away from those that would help us and let self-hatred drive us back into isolation, despair, and destruction.

Nick Spencer

——

Every day is not easy and actively pursuing happiness shoves our happy ass in a slippery sloped rabbit hole faster than you can blink an eye.

Ok. As a corollary to chasing happiness, lets maybe call this the other rail on the tracks down into the frickin’ rabbit hole, is chasing simplicity <often believing this ‘elusive simplicity’ will lead to happiness>.

Is this a paradox in Life? Shit. I don’t know, but I do know the more we seek simplicity the more complex things tend to get and … uhm … the less happy we become.

Whew. Boy oh boy, talk about the slippery slope leading down to the rabbit hole of self-hell. Seeking simplicity is it.

Simplicity entices you day by day and even hour by hour. And each day you do not attain simplicity the more and more you look at it as some type of failure and you try harder and harder for something I am fairly sure you just cannot attain. Or if you can attain it … well … it doesn’t come from a book or some formula or even some sage advice from a friend, it is something more earned by living and attempting and finding.

Simplicity seems so simple and yet it inevitably takes much much longer to master than you feel it is supposed to.

Simplicity seems so damn easy that we, well, get impatient when it doesn’t happen.

Let me state that differently. We get impatient with Life. Uh oh. It’s not like we can dictate the pace & flow of Life <I will come back to this>.

The next problem?

Even if you actually DO attain some simplicity you are aggravated it took so frickin’ long. This is compounded by the fact that simplicity is one of those weird things that as soon as you attain it you start hearing other people say “geez … why did it take you so long to figure THAT out?”

————–

“Just because you took longer than others doesn’t mean you failed.”

Hassann

—————

<I use this quote to close the rabbit holes business post too>

And maybe that is my biggest point about rabbit holes and Life and reality.

Some of the things we seek most in Life, whether it be happiness or simplicity or whatever silly thing you have decided will better your Life, always seem to take longer than what you want. And we get impatient.

And if we get really thoughtful about this whole impatience … we would realize that our aggravation is with Life and not any inability within ourselves <or even in assessment the foolish pursuit of this non-real reality objective>.

Life does not suffer fools lightly. Life is oblivious to your impatience <and relatively indifferent to you in general>.

How does Life deal with the fools and silly impatient people?

Rabbit holes.

Life gives us rabbit holes to chase after silly things and dive into in our relentless pursuit of attaining “it” and waste our lives wandering aimlessly within this hole with slippery walls and minimal handholds to help us climb out of it.

Well. That summarizes reality … and rabbit holes. Ponder.

Capitalism is a ruthless psychological motherfucker.

What I mean by that is almost any sane, quasi-reflective , person will sit back at some point and ask the question ‘when I got duped into becoming an accumulator of things?”

Try this on for size:

“… we, and by that I mean most of humanity since the Neolithic, have been duped into believing that life must be lived by accumulating. This is simply an ideological lie. Is it impossible to imagine a world lived by the economics of the gift? Even the most cursory look at various enduring cultures around the world shows us that people (who are left alone to do so) living lives according to deeper principles are more content, more spiritually rounded, less troubled by existential angst, than by westerners tricked into believing in the ideologies of power and wealth.” 

comment in The Guardian about Materialism

Well. I will begin with acknowledging there is a shitload of psychological research that seems to support the fact that materialism <accumulating shit> doesn’t make us happier <psychologically>. The gobs of research suggests that materialism, a characteristic that reaches both rich and poor and researchers define as “a value system that is preoccupied with possessions and the social image they project”, is both socially destructive and self-destructive.

It’s associated with stress, anxiety, depression and even how personal relationships can be affected.

In fact there has long been a correlation observed between materialism, a lack of empathy and engagement with others, and unhappiness and research is reinforcing this by showing causation.

For example, a series of studies published in the journal Motivation and Emotion showed that as people become more materialistic, their wellbeing <good relationships, autonomy, sense of purpose and the rest> diminishes.

As they become less materialistic, unhappiness rises.

I say all of this to say … well … Nuts.

Nuts to the comment I began with.

Nuts that maybe I should be smarter.

Nuts that maybe I have been duped.

Its all a bunch of crap.

I haven’t been duped.

I have a mind of my own.

And do I really not know when I am unhappy? <and why I may be unhappy>

Yup.

Ok.

For the most part … yup.

I believe most of us understand that it is a dreadful mistake allowing ourselves to believe that having just having more money and more stuff enhances our wellbeing.

Oddly, despite the fact we poor everyday schmucks know this, this ‘have more’ belief appears to not only be embraced by those poor deluded people in movies, but by almost every member of almost every government <and civilization>.

How can this be?

Worldly ambition, material aspiration, perpetual growth … taken in and of itself … is a formula for mass unhappiness and, yet, it seems to be the main plot for almost every narrative out there.

That said. I have not been duped.

If I enter the rat race then I have chosen to be a rat.

If I choose to compete with the Joneses than I have chosen to be one of the Joneses.

Society hasn’t duped me into doing so.

Business hasn’t duped me into doing so.

Social media hasn’t duped me into doing so.

I am certainly not suggesting that all of the above aren’t relentlessly attempting to dupe me into believing all their bullshit, but, if I decide to follow an ‘ideology of wealth and power’ than that is my choice.

And you know what?

For the most part I don’t have to choose that game if I don’t want and I can still be successful.

Do I believe the game is rigged in some form or fashion?

Yes.

Do I believe that the game is easier won if you decide to play the wealth & power game?

You bet.

Not choosing to do so is like swimming against the tide in some form or fashion. It’s not easier, but it can still be done.

But the bottom line.

Do I feel like I have been duped into becoming an accumulator? Shit no.

If I truly believed that then I disregard free will, free choice and self-interest <balancing moral and material>.

Do I believe there should be a balance of moralism and materialism?

Absolutely.

But.

Here’s the deal.

Having a thread of materialism tends to make a better society through creating better and smarter stuff <innovation> and businesses attempting to address real human needs..

That last sentence will not go down well with some people but, yes, i am suggesting consumption can drive some innovation.

But being duped? C’mon. I am not buying it.

I think I am smart enough <and most people> not to accumulate stupid thinking.

=====

Everyone was born with a limited amount of fucks to give.

During your teenage years you give a ton and slowly give less and less from there.

just shower thoughts

=====

When I saw this quote had to sit back and think.

Why?

Because I could read it two ways.

First.

As you get older you just get worn down and just stop giving a fuck about a lot of things.

Second.

As you get older you learn that not everything deserves ‘giving a fuck’ and you give less, but, you should give more of a fuck when you do.

I pondered this a little.

And then I got curious and found that if you type “give a fuck” in google search you will get about 4,610,000 results (0.38 seconds), but … here is the interesting thing  … you get page after page on ‘philosophy <or ‘the art’> of not giving a fuck.’

Basically the internet is strewn with articles and advice on how to not give a fuck. How crazy is that? It is almost like the google world is attempting to offer some extraordinary justification for being indifferent, to actually practice being indifferent, which, in my mind, is maybe a different slant on how to be a complete moron.

I mean, c’mon, if we really only have a limited amount of fucks to give, well, wouldn’t you expect some really good advice on how to prioritize and parse them out? I say that because it seems like we could all use some good advice with regard to knowing when to give a fuck and when not to give a fuck.

I will say one thing about giving a fuck. Caring about shit is the essence of Life.

Ok. Maybe two things.

Caring and actively engaging in shit is the essence of Life <I actually called it RSVP and Life once>.

But. The moment you become indifferent, the moment you just don’t give a fuck, well, there is no Life. There is no heartbeat. Life is dead.

I am certainly not going to suggest you care about everything. I will not because I agree that we do not have an unlimited amount of fucks to give. But it just doesn’t make sense to not care.

Now. Life does a fairly good job of suggesting not giving a fuck is a much easier way of living Life.

Life is full of a lot of shit we don’t understand.

Life is full of a lot of things that just do not seem to make sense.

Life is full of a lot of things that just doesn’t seem logical.

Life is full of a lot of things that seem different than what you want or think about.

Life is full of a lot of questions and a lot fewer answers than we want.

Life is full of a lot of answers that don’t really solve anything.

Life is full of a lot of things that make you scratch your head and say “I never understood why.”

All of those things seem like “slow” as in “a lot of shit that will slow me down from getting to where I want to go and getting what I want to get.”

I imagine after reading that list and my last sentence many people may think “then why give a fuck.”

Well. Because none of those things make Life any ‘less’ or any less meaningful. They just make it a little less certain. They just make things a little more risky. They just make it all a little less straightforward.

In fact I could suggest that almost all Life throws at you could fall into the “WTF category”. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give a fuck.

Anyway. I agree with the opening quote. I don’t believe we have an unlimited amount of fucks to give. That doesn’t mean we only have one or two just that they are not unlimited.

But that doesn’t mean you should embrace the thought “well, I have no more fucks to give … so … I just don’t give a fuck about anything anymore.” Nor should it mean you should start seeking opportunities to not give a fuck under the belief it will help you get what you want and where you want to be faster.

Look. Here is what I know about giving a fuck.

If you give enough of a fuck about your life, and trust it to give a fuck about you on occasion, well, a fuck of a lot of good things can happen if you just fucking go out and work hard. Ponder.

=====================

“Culture is an elevated expression of the inner voice which the different peoples of the Earth have heard in the depths of their being, a voice which conveys the vibrant compassion and wisdom of the cosmic life. For different cultures to engage in interaction is to catalyze each other’s souls and foster mutual understanding.”

Daisaku Ikeda

==================

Let me get my main points out of the way:

• I believe, unequivocally, businesses should operate in ways that are conducive to a healthy planet and healthier society.
• I don’t believe businesses need to market such operations and initiative. In addition, i DON’T recommend they do so unless they are 100% committed to it. not 99%, 100%.
• Despite gobs of research suggesting young people (Millennials) prefer buying from businesses associated with sustainability & causes I don’t believe the majority would actually pay more nor do I believe it is a true deep-seated ‘preference’ (it is more about assuaging ‘guilt’ – read on for explanation).
• I believe business people confuse Purpose, purpose of a business, causes, environmental responsibility, and a myriad of well intended business actions all the time to the detriment of the action itself.

Anyway. Let me get to my points. There is a lot of research coming out suggesting the importance of Causes & Social Involvement <conflated with Purpose> in consumer choices and what they value. At its most base level this discussion is about cultural & societal concepts tied to future desires <and behavior> of people. It is kind of guessing <in an educated thoughtful way> how people will want to behave with regard to larger Planet-type issues and discussing what behavior will make them happy <from a Maslow type perspective> in the future <and the value associated with it>.

This is good type thinking, not simply mental masturbation.

By the way. Thinking about the future type stuff can be Jetsons type pie in the sky type thinking or it can be more pragmatic ‘rising generations with existing perceptions and how will they act in the future’ type thinking. I tend to be more pragmatic. I do so because it is fun. It is fun in that every every generation rising <young to old> rebel against the norms & ‘standards’ of the older more established generations and as we view ‘trends’ & research it becomes easy to confuse simple rebellion rhetoric and true desires that affect behavior.

Regardless. The windows exist and if you can identify the underlying attitudinal shifts you can be successful by offering things that tap into this attitude <and you can reap the benefits of their behavior>.

Let me get the contrarian conclusion out of the way:

• most people only care about Causes & planet to a point (despite what they say). The majority of young people say they care about Causes with regard to brand choice is out of guilt, not depth of caring. This is NOT to suggest social causes & caring about the planet & sustainability are not important, just that there is a gap between that importance to a individual and other things that matter when decide to make choices & do things. Altruism has limits to the everyday people and the everyday purchase.
• most people care about personal wealth & lifestyle. The majority of young people still want to accumulate money & things, they just don’t want to be seen as greedy as older generations. You would have to be blind, deaf and dumb to miss the attitude among the young that older generations are greedy. That’s easy. The hard part is that we old folk flippantly disregard this attitude as the naiveté of youth. Silly us old folk. The young DO recognize the value of accumulating wealth and the benefits that come along with it, they just don’t want to do it the same way. Conversely, it is silly to not recognize young people want shit – things, money & recognition (yes, they are capitalists too>.

No matter how we may want to couch attitudes in some trite platitudes — people will always want to be valued and fairly compensated for the value they provide. The future challenge is how to let the Reptilian brain ‘accumulate wealth’ and increase personal value all the while balanced with a moralistic <semi altruistic> belief that ‘I want to be fair’ <at its most hedonistic shallow level it would actually be ‘how can I become wealthy and not look like a greedy jerk’>.

Trendwatching in 2013 called it ‘guilt free consumption.’

I imagine the more positive slant on it is a revitalization of some sense of altruism or fairness while still consuming. People, especially younger people, are feeling conflicted between their desire to earn & spend and their aspiration to do the right thing. They are looking for products and services that will deliver value and quality while, at the same time, provide reassurance that their ‘accumulating’ is not seen as greedy or doing a level of ‘harm’ to the greater good <note: that ‘level’ is an individually driven assessment & typically not a societal standard>.

Trendwatching researchers suggested that consumers were experiencing guilt over how they spend, and on what they spend it on, which means they will look at how companies conduct their business, from where they source their products and whether they are engaged in socially-responsible initiatives.

Here is where the cynical me steps in.

The key to addressing consumer guilt is to identify the choices that cause the consumer the most concern and “absolve” them of the guilt.

Once again. This doesn’t mean ‘me’ desires go away. It, in its most simplistic sense, is suggesting a ‘guilt free’ aspect to the desire to accumulate wealth or things. Cynically, a person seeks an implied ‘balance’ —  a bargaining with a desire to accumulate.

In a non-cynical way someone has added a belief if that a ‘me’ can make more, earn more & and accumulate/have more and feel good about it if the ‘optimal end game’ is connected to a greater ‘we’ aspect <environment, society, sharing of that which is accumulated with less fortunate>. This mental bargaining is an attempt to alleviate the guilt that gnaws at the conscience of those who, mostly with good intent, want to do the best they can and accumulate the most wealth they can.

—–
“Guilt upon the conscience, like rust upon iron, both defiles and consumes it, gnawing and creeping into it, as that does which at last eats out the very heart and substance of the metal.”

Robert South

——

Wealth & consuming is achieved with a balance of ‘what I could have had, but shared.’ This shared aspect shows an innate sacrifice of ‘me’, but not at the expense of success <or actualization>. Instead it shows a sharing of individual success. Successful wealth management <growth> shows ‘not too much’ by ‘I could have had more but I don’t.’

It also meets a Maslow thought: ‘I am successful – not everyone can be successful – therefore by being as good as I can be (which is better than many people) I am contributing to the greater good for those who cannot do what I can do.’

All the psychological mumbo jumbo aside. Guilt free accumulation, despite sounding like some moral relativism, actually does deliver a sense of fairness — fair to me and we. It’s not straight up altruism but its a version of individualistic altruism.

I called this basic attitudinal concept Community Individualism in 2010. And I still call it that. The seeds of this type of thinking have been planted and while it will most likely not prosper in current adult generations it will thrive in younger rising generations. It will be <at least in my eyes> the prevalent psychographic attitude every business will need to attend to in the future.

Hey. Interestingly if you google my ‘community individualism’ concept you will find a number of really well written articles and intellectual papers outlining the battle <tension> between ‘community’ and ‘individualism.’

I say interestingly for 2 reasons:

1. Because I believe there is an entire rising generation who is answering the battle for “us” <versus just ‘me’>. They are living it and have grasped it and are embodying how to be and do both. We <older folk> could not figure it out. They have.

2. I am the only one, I have found, who believes there is no tension, but rather an embracing, between community & individualism in this next younger generation.

Anyway. ‘Community Individualism’ or “Enlightened Individuality.” I will not bore you with everything I have written but give some relevant highlights to align everyone on my thinking.

——-

The post millennial generation (The Global Generation – others call it “Z”) will have been preceded by the two extremes of community and individualism. The worldwide web will enable a higher level of intimacy between cultures and globally dispersed local communities (or maybe, more specifically, individuals). We see this emerging even today (it just has not matured). Not surprisingly, this technology has transformed our worlds – empowering people with access to extensive circles of population as well as connecting in surprisingly personal and intimate ways.

My thoughts may seem extreme … but I believe the Millennial generation is “too far down the path” to be the Global Generation. They were the early adopters of a web based global community aspect and there will certainly be “cusp” generational citizens, but as a whole they are being bombarded with the vocal minority and don’t have the global counterbalance (I guess what I mean by that is I believe Millenials will still fall back on country cultural cycles as the subconscious place to go). Millennials will be open to a global community (which is the reason why I believe the Global Generation will be successful as they follow in their footsteps).

Remember.

Generations are not set by birth, but by accumulated experience over a lifetime. As Millennials will deal with a Crisis, the Global Generation will deal with the aftermath.

This balance of community and individuality will permit this generation to better accept and respect the choices made by individuals globally and yet strengthen local communities (I actually believe that will be represented by strengthened country patriotism). The community aspect will definitely lead to some cultural or geographical driven conflict yet the respect for individual choices elsewhere will balance the conflict within a “values set of rules.”

——–

All that said. As noted above I believe that while generations turn and attitudes evolve over time that the advent of the internet has truly enabled a new ‘mixing’ of an attitude and should enable new behavior. Interestingly the internet has not just changed behaviors, but also attitudes <in that we are now better able to judge others’ behaviors>.

Yeah. Transparency doesn’t just go in one direction <towards the bad guys … and ‘evil corporations’>.

And while the internet may appear to sharpen <or cocoon> opinions & beliefs it has actually made us more aware of issues and differences <whether we like or dislike the differences is a different issue>. It may have made us more defensive with regard to our own attitudes it has also encouraged us to go on the offensive to showcase our ‘moral cores.’

By the way.

This doesn’t mean a ‘flatter’ world. It means a more aware world. You can no longer just ‘be me’ and be invisible — me is now always visible.

This comes with some repercussions whether it’s protecting or projecting your image or character. The world today with its internet driven transparency forces us all to take a closer look at not only our behavior, but also what that behavior ‘begets’. Oh. This also includes what we purchase.

In the end.

Guilt free accumulation is an attitude <generating a type of behavior> that needs to be addressed if you are in business and want to innovate products & services … or just want to understand what attitudes which need to be tapped into in order to be successful.

Why should you believe me? I will end with what I started with … “an elevated expression of the inner voice which the different peoples of the Earth have heard in the depths of their being, a voice which conveys the vibrant compassion and wisdom of life.”

Listen closely.

Branding people may misuse the information and and others, like me, will caution the depth of this caring & inner voice.

But.

The inner voice of fairness is raising its voice to be heard. A lot of us older folk may try to shut it out, but the younger voices will be heard. And in being heard they will drive the behavior of the future.

Ignore this voice at your own peril. Ponder.

—-

“If I have gained anything … it is the knowledge there is no starting over – only living with the mistakes you’ve made.”

Jodi Picoult

—

“It is so hard to leave — until you leave.

And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”

John Green

—

Almost everything in life (and business) can be encapsulated in beginnings, ends & what is in between. Everything occurs there. So when I speak of starting over I am also talking about ends.

Or conclusions.

Or when enough is enough.

And where you go when you have reached ‘enough is enough’. Now, some people suggest that point should be called ‘starting over’. I don’t but suffice it to say starting over is not only big business, but it may actually be part of our DNA.

Yup.

I think part of America’s DNA  is a belief anyone can reinvent themselves. We write books about it, give seminars on it, share trite inspirational ramblings on it and invest gobs of energy on it.

Well.

Look.

I don’t believe in starting over. To me it implies you can leave some stuff behind, wipe the slate clean as they say <whoever ‘they’ is>, but reality is you never really leave shit behind.

What do I mean?

I think Life is like a puzzle. You are given some pieces and you pick up some pieces as you progress. And it is just part of Life that sometimes all the pieces just don’t fit. But here’s the deal. Once you pick up a piece it has your fingerprints on it.

And even if you try to discard what you see as a useless piece … you cannot. The pieces are sticky.

It is possible in reading that you may think I am suggesting being more careful about what puzzle pieces you accumulate.

I am not.

Picking up puzzle pieces is just part of living Life.

Suffice it to say you are never really finished putting a puzzle together. You are always looking at new pieces and picking up new pieces. Now. On occasion it may feel like you have almost put your puzzle together only to find some pieces that don’t fit <and they may have even actually fit in the past>. Yeah. Puzzle pieces can change. Oh. And sometimes you can actually want a piece to fit, but it won’t fit into the space you’ve designated for it. Yeah. It gets challenging.

But beyond the actual pieces, and going back to the whole ‘reinvention’ or starting over idea, you can’t really discard the puzzle and start over.

Pieces? Sure.

The puzzle? Nope.

To be clear. We may want to get rid of the fucking puzzle. We may look at the puzzle we have put together, or let’s say, tried to put together, or maybe it is just a big nasty pile of pieces staring at us in the face … and say “shit, where did I go wrong?”

Well.

This is one of the few times you have permission to sit, maybe cry a little … and certainly think about how your life may have gone awry.

I don’t mean that you should wallow in pity that things look like they didn’t go your way. I’m just saying that it’s okay to sit and be unhappy that you sucked at putting the fucking puzzle together well.

It’s okay to be upset.

But you are stuck with much of the puzzle you have invested in. Yeah. That thought will make almost anyone unhappy.  But maybe it is good to get upset and let all the frustrated, disappointed, sad feelings out because when you’re done, maybe you get angry. And when you get angry, maybe you decide to do something about it.

Here is the good part of my whole ‘there is no starting over’ and this Life puzzle thought.

There is always another piece – choice, option and way out <forward> – around you waiting to be picked up. So when I say I think starting over is bullshit I am not suggesting that you give up nor am I suggesting that “life is out of my control” or that it is too big to do anything about it.

Because I hate it when people say things are “out of their control.”

That’s bullshit.

And it is simply an excuse to not go after what they want.

Pieces are all around so go after what you want, do something about the crappy puzzle you have put together to date, but, that is not starting over. It is about moving forward, accepting what you have done up to that point, sifting through all of it and gathering up the good <because there is no way in hell you have made 100% bad decisions and have 100% ‘wrong’ puzzle pieces in your puzzle> and starting to build a new version of the puzzle you have already started.

Inevitably this is about making some choices and making some new decisions <that are good for you>.

Now. There is another sort of tough thing to grasp when it comes to this not starting over, but rebuilding your puzzle idea. People around you see different things in the puzzle you have already built and some of them have ideas about it.  That only matters because what sucks about making decisions that are good for you is that not everyone is going to be happy with the decisions nor the results. Nor is much of the world going to be paying attention … because they will be making their own decisions and doing their own thing. Who cares? Its your puzzle, your life and your responsibility to self.

Starting over doesn’t mean picking up and moving, maybe it’s an attitude change, maybe a shift in your mindset, maybe its just a change of heart or a new outlook on life. All of those things give you a new outlook on your puzzle.

Anyway. Here is what I know.

This whole starting over thing drives me a little nuts.

I don’t like the thought of thinking of everything as a do-over.

Sure. You always get another chance, heck, that is what Life is all about. But you don’t get to ‘do over’ something, you just get to do something else.

I think it is better, and healthier, to accept the fact you can’t wipe the slate clean. All you can really do is to stop and understand why you are the way that you are and how you got to where you are.

Oh. I said ‘stop,’ and not ‘take a step back.

Purposefully I may add.

Why?

Most times we are seeking to understand what we have done and at the same time try and put something behind you.

That said.

It seems silly to step back, but instead maybe just stop.

Semantics? Maybe. But stopping means pause, assess, evaluate, look around.

Shove the shit that is actually behind you <no sense stepping back and reliving it> or to the side or, even better, into some storage bin <and, once again, I purposefully do not suggest ‘burning or destroying’ … it is what it is … you cannot destroy your past>. You are storing away anything that is adding weight to your load and impedes your progress.

This suggests you also have to quit over thinking everything and anything.

I say that because any winning, even in Life, is part thinking and part instinctual. It’s a balance.

Happiness is almost exactly the same. Maybe because happiness is partially about … well … winning.

And I don’t mean tangible shit <money, stuff, trophies, cars, etc.>, but rather satisfaction in oneself <meaning, mattering and purpose>.

—

“Happiness is simple. Everything we do to find it is complicated. “

Karen Maezen Miller

—

Which leads me to the fact you actually have to give yourself the opportunity for satisfaction.

What I mean by that is if you sit and think through every possible scenario, dissect every decision into meaningless scraps <ultimately making the decision you need to make completely unrecognizable>, it doesn’t make anything better.

It just makes everything worse.

To be clear.

Yes.

You still need to make decisions based on logic and practicality.

No.

Not all decisions need to be analyzed so hard.

In fact. That is probably the main reason all this ‘starting over’ stuff is bullshit.

Decisions in life, and in general, are iterative. One decision changes the entire context within which the next decision is to be made.

And that insight alone kills the concept of starting over.

Once you have begun your puzzle you need to just, well, go.  Maybe not forward … but going. You really cannot go back.

—

“As I reflect back on the lion’s share of my life, it feels I have been fighting a battle I couldn’t win.

It always seemed my opponent was one step ahead of me.

Only when I surrendered, and started my life all over, did I discover that my opponent was me. “

williamchapmanwritings

—

With all due respect to williamchapmanwritings, you never really surrender in Life. You actually “reflect on the move.”

How do I know that?

Because if we didn’t we would constantly be run over. And most of us don’t have tread marks just dents from where we get bumped by Life. Our self, in some form or fashion, keeps going despite the dents.

Which leads me to self.

Our opponent in the battle in Life is really … well … me. Us. Me, myself & I.

The whole trite concept of ‘starting over’ is 99% of the time all about self.

What does that mean? There is no starting over, just adapting.

I imagine this also means Life is exactly what you make it out to be.

You.

No one else.

And maybe that is why there is no starting over. There is no rebirth and there is no new childhood, there is just “where do I go from here?” Yeah. “I” go from here. Don’t start over, just start going. Ponder.

=========

“Stop going to your #dark place.  The older you get, the more happiness becomes a conscious decision you have to make every day.

You can’t expect to automatically feel good when you wake up.  It’s something you have to work toward.”

Ryan O’Connell

=============

“The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get.”

Joanna Hoffman

=======================

So. When we get up in the morning it is a decision … it is a decision to not stay down.

In fact.

Every day you decide to get up you have either consciously, or subconsciously, decided that Life was not going to keep you down.

In the grander scheme of things that sure seems like a pretty important decision.

And, yet, we don’t invest a shitload of energy thinking about it.

Most of us think of facing each day as a responsibility.

Kind of a basic survival duty.

I imagine we do so mostly as a sanity tactic.

For if you stay down … don’t get up … you are inevitably faced with the decisions you have made up to that point <as well as the fact you will not be able to pay the bills>. And, to refer to my first quote, this means as you get older you have more and more decisions you will have to face.

Time is rarely your friend with regard to contemplating your decisions.

I say that because, well, because here is what almost 99% of us do on a daily basis — we decide what we will cede in terms of what we know, or believe, is the right thing to do.

Yeah.

We compromise a little on ‘principles.’ Well. At least our principles.

Sure.

Most of the time it is okay because the organizational, the business, principles give us some slightly-to-more-expansive boundaries from which we can assess what we should do or not do.

But even within that “okay space” we are far too often trapped in the wretched hollow space of a decision of ‘what will you surrender today for the hope of the win tomorrow’ <and the tomorrow may just be something somewhere beyond the horizon>.

Some may call this ‘moral relativism.’ They would most likely be the intellectuals, philosophers and people who don’t really do shit for work in their Life.

For most of us everyday schmucks it is a combination of survival “if I don’t do this I will not get that” and dreamer “I will go ahead and do this because someday………….<fill in blank> “

As we face each day we realize that we are facing more than that day. We realize our actions can suppress our ultimate dreams or they can empower a dream to come to Life, well, not today, but some day in the future.

Now.

None of us really know our future and what it holds so the decision today takes on some sense of urgency of ‘well, this MAY be really fucking important with regard to my survival/dream so I gotta do what I gotta do.’

Whew.

Today can look really huge with regard to tomorrow in this case.

I chuckled <a little painfully> as I typed that last sentence.

I am reminded of what President Bush said in 2008: “abandoned free market principles to save the free market.”

On a daily basis we are faced with questions of “what we will abandon to save our future & our dreams.”

And we do what we feel like we have to do, using principles mostly not as a “stop or go” sign, but rather as some slightly nebulous guardrails we can maneuver around within.

And then we leave to face another day.

When taken on a daily basis it is relatively easy to face the day.

When viewed over a longer term it can become relatively difficult to face the next day.  Maybe that is why most of us get up and face the day each & every day – the alternative doesn’t seem so appealing. Maybe that is the ‘dark place’ that we know is there and avoid it the best that we can.

Here is what I know for sure.

Every day you face you have one authority — the authority over your actions and attitudes and behaviors.

You have the authority over what you will do and will not do.

You have the authority over your principles and morals and whether you will abandon them or not.

Uhm.

You should note one key thing on the whole abandoning thing.

Once abandoned is always abandoned.

There is no true ‘just this once’ abandoning of principles. Once crumpled principles are forever wrinkled.

And, yet, it seems like each day we are faced with some choice to surrender our moral authority and cede the principled battlefield under the belief that by doing so “the day will be saved.”

How wrong that thought is. For in surrendering that day we will have already been lost.

Anyway.

Maybe getting up every day has nothing to do with moral relativism and more about just doing the shit you need to do.

Maybe we really are just cucumbers with anxiety.

But.

Maybe it is a little something more we should think about on occasion. Because maybe we are really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get and in our terror as we face each day we lose the one thing which makes our dreams look small – our moral authority & principles.

Ponder.