Tiger and the Wood – how the deal with the Devil soured theory

I can’t take credit for this theory. The woman who manages our complex shared it with me.

So. Here’s the theory.

Let’s just say maybe this whole Tiger & women thing is related to a deal Tiger made with the Devil that has soured.

A deal with the Devil? (You say) Okay. Here’s the proof. The signs he had the deal in the first place.


1. His freakish talent. Ok ok. We have all seen those Nike commercials with Tiger playing golf as a kid. Frankly he looks like a little kid playing golf.

So where did the talent come from? Hmmmmmmmm.


2. He’s really smart. Getting into Stanford ain’t easy. Even on a golf scholarship. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh … and their color is red … hmmmmmmmmmmm.

Speaking of red:


3. He wears red on Sundays.



4. Next. He married a babe who doesn’t speak English well.

So. She looks awesome and she speaks and all he has to do is nod his head.


5. In addition. The Devil being the Devil. Not only did he provide him a babe to marry, he provided an onslaught of babes on the side just in case the married babe wasn’t enough (what a smart guy that Devil is).


There. You go. That’s the premise he made a deal with the Devil.


Ok. So here we go. The first sign that the deal started souring.


During renegotiation Tiger was driving a hard bargain (he was going one on one with the Devil). Everyone should note that I believe if he had used Mark Steinberg, his agent, the Devil would have been bamboozled and all probably would have been well <Steinberg is good>.



Tiger is jerking ole Balthazar around and Bal (one of the Devil’s nicknames) tweaks Tiger’s knee. But just to show him how powerful he is he dials up the freakish talent and let’s him win.


Tiger, still not using his own agent (who also sometimes seems like he has a deal with the Devil, but that’s a different theory) continues to refuse the offer on the table.


There we see the second sign the renegotiation has stalled. He stops winning (and losing to guys we’ve never heard of).


Uh oh. Freakish talent being threatened.


Tiger (who has more money than God) scoffs and says “nice try D”. (he calls him D after all these years)best worst people angel devil good bad

Devil (I’m gonna warn you) …and … Tiger smacks into a tree pulling out of his driveway. C’mon people. The only person I know who did that was a girl who just got her driver’s license the day before.

Hey Tiger…waaaaaaaaaaaaarning.

Still no signed deal.

Devil. Okay dude. Let’s take it to the next level.

Private text messaging becomes public text messaging. Uh oh. Money and main babe threatened.

But the true sign he was negotiating with the Devil?

His mother-in law moved in. (Gotta give the Devil props for that lil maneuver).



If this is all true, we will know if Tiger sucks it up and re-signs with the Devil his freakish talent will return, he will make gobs of money, babes will be available for the Wood and his world will return to what is was (and he will stop running into trees at the end of driveways).

Written by Bruce