Olympics Update 2

Women’s Biathlon “pursuit”

Ok. I am addicted. Chicks in tights with guns. The German woman (I am sure she is east German because they were always the ones who could shoot in the good ole Soviet days) is attractive in a gun slinging way and wasn’t even huffing & puffing despite cross country skiing up a reverse ski jump slope and then shooting something they suggest is “the size of a grapefruit” from 100 yards away or so. In fact. After shooting she almost looked bored. Her name is Magdalena Neuner and she won her second medal of the Games and her first gold today. I love the way they describe her “Neuner, the fastest skier on the biathlon circuit but an inconsistent shot.” Love it. A good reminder to not stand behind the target when she is shooting.

She is already one of the Germany’s most popular athletes and is known as the “biathlon beauty”.

Anyway. I have always had a standard rule that I never give anything sharp as a gift to a woman (you can never tell when it may come back and haunt you). However, I may be interested in giving a rifle if they could do this cross country ski and shoot thing and look as good as they do in tights.

Men’s Biathlon “pursuit”

So. This was kind of funny in a sad way for some of the contestants. They screwed up the start for a number of the contestants. And they screwed it up because they have this really screwy thing where they stagger the start of the second stage of this biathlon thing depending on what time they had in the first stage. For example, if you finished 45 minutes after the gold medal winner in the first stage you start 45 minutes after him in the second stage. Holy cow. So some guy who finished like 2 minutes behind the leader in the first stage they started 2 minutes and 14 seconds (or some crap like that) after the first guy started shooshing (I have always wanted to type that) and everyone in the announcer booth is freaking out and there are coaches running alongside the skiers shouting and the skiers have loaded guns (so I am hoping they don’t get too pissed off) and the Canadians are all standing around smiling and being nice because that is what Canadians do and…well…I am truly beginning to like this biathlon thing.

Oh. What the fuck is this “pursuit” thing? It’s a frickin’ race. Call it that.

Ice Hockey

So. I tried watching some of the USA – Switzerland ice hockey match only to realize that I not only cannot watch NHL games but I also cannot watch Olympics ice hockey games. It’s ice hockey. At least they score more than soccer. USAToday scoreboard told me USA won 3-1. This may be the closest I get to watching Olympics ice hockey.

Speed Skating

Joji Kato

Ok. What’s up with Korea and Japan and China? I know they kick ass on the pommel horse and the incredibly kooky floor exercise in gymnastics, but speed skating? When did that happen? Anyway.

It is this event that has given us “the name of the Olympics”: Joji Kato.

Japanese name but would be a kickass name in any language.

Also. I would like to remind all the youngsters in the crowd that Kato (it could have been Cato) was Peter Seller’s (Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau) sidekick in all the Pink Panther movies. My favorite was when Kato hid in the refrigerator to catch Inspector Clouseau unawares but that is another post for another day.

The Weather

Ok. I am not a meteorologist nor do I even look at my local forecast (usually figure it’s gonna be what it’s gonna be). Anyway. This Olympics weather thing confuses me.

As I understand it, things have been rainy and slushy so they have been pushing some events back but most events kept cranking along. Ok. That I get (but I will make a point later).

But then all of a sudden it starts snowing and they are putting events on hold. Say what? This is a Winter Olympics I believe. Wouldn’t you be actually jumping with joy and shoving competitors out the door at the first sign of snow? Confusing. In my simple mind no snow equals Summer Olympics and lots of snow equals Winter Olympics. But that’s me.

Next. The whole rainy and 40’s and slush thing. Aren’t you supposed to schedule Winter Olympics somewhere where it is cold and has snow and ice and stuff like that? But, hey, I am not smart enough to be on the International Olympics Committee.

(But I would still recommend some place cold and snowy for the next Winter Olympics)

Written by Bruce