====================

Up to a point a man’s life is shaped by environment, heredity, and the movements and changes in the world around him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate.

Everyone has it within his power to say, ‘This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.’

The wish, however, must be implemented by deeds.”

–

Louis Lamour

===============

So. This is about living Life and personal velocity (progress with momentum). I have written about self esteem and self image and living life, but until now I have never found a quote that summarizes a belief I have always had lurking in the back of my head.

“Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be.”

How awesome is that? (pretty awesome)

It is absolutely true that a lot of what may hold us back from our dreams, or maybe more importantly, being whatever it is we want to be isn’t our fault <or in our control>. Life throws a shitload of shit at us and a lot of it is completely out of our control. It would be foolish to not recognize that.

But.

The days when nothing seems to go right.

The days where dreams seemed to have vanished.

The days where ‘not drowning’ is the focus instead of ‘swimming.’

All those days are gonna happen – to all of us. And it is on these days where it becomes really really easy to focus on excuses. But. We do have power to shape our tomorrows. Ignore the excuses and recognize that even if circumstances make things difficult, improving things is NOT impossible.

Sure. Sometimes a little ingenuity is required.  Sometimes you almost have to trick circumstances. Sometimes you have to zig when Life zags and sometimes you have to take some risks and get a little lucky.

Which leads me to these words:

“That I am today; that I will be tomorrow.”

Absolutely … most people underestimate what they can do today.

Absolutely … most people over estimate what they can do tomorrow.

Despite that … it still comes down to two things: action and objectives.

Actions.

What I am tomorrow depends on what I do today. My actions today make me who I am tomorrow. You get it.
This is all about first step, baby. Takin’ that first step. You constantly hear “I’ll do it tomorrow”. And when it doesn’t happen tomorrow, it becomes the next tomorrow and the next and …. well … you get it (and I will explain why under objectives).

But. While you hear that … what is actually the truth? What do people really do? (and you just may not always see it)

Here is the truth behind actions and this thought. People who decide mentally to “do something” actually, uhm, do something. No shit. They do take action. They do begin to “shape the clay of their life to become what they want to be.” They do.

Then what is the problem?

Objectives.

Doing is often dependent upon how we view our objectives and this sometimes gets mired down in meeting the sometimes farcical absurd expectations in the mind. That said. Let me take a minute on ‘objectives.’  Scott H Young wrote in May 2006, in a piece called “Balancing Today and Tomorrow“, about a nifty concept called “velocity based thinking (or goal setting)” versus positional goals:

—————————

How is it possible to balance living in each moment and the concept of personal growth and improvement? Doesn’t personal development imply a certain dissatisfaction with where you are in life? At the very least, doesn’t an obsession with personal growth indicate that you are constantly living in the future, rather than enjoying each moment? How can we remove this apparent dichotomy and get the improvement we desire along with satisfaction now? In other words, how can we live for today and still strive for tomorrow?

The old position based paradigm told us to focus on where we are in life. If we have a big house, a nice family and are in good health, then we can be happy. If we are poor, miserable and alone then we are depressed. Pretty simple. In this paradigm, our main focus is on our current position.

Some take this position based thinking to a slightly higher level when they don’t think about where they are but where they are going. Instead these people draw their level of happiness from the position they feel they will be in the future. Although this is an improvement, the cost of being unsatisfied with today is simply too high a price to pay for this paradigm.

There is an alternative paradigm, however. This is a velocity based paradigm. In this paradigm, where you are doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even matter where you are going to end up. From this perspective, our focus not where we are going, but rather, the rate we are getting there. This perspective tells us that being homeless or a millionaire makes no difference. It is only the rate at which they are improving that distinguishes them.

The major distinction between a velocity based goal and a position based one is mostly in how you view the goal. Positional goals are usually viewed as a means to achieve something. If I set a goal to lose x pounds in three months, then what I am pursuing is the goal itself. Velocity based goals take a completely different approach. The purpose of a velocity based goal is to serve to direct, focus and amplify the growth you are experiencing right now.

Imagine life is like climbing an infinitely large cliff side. Positional thinking tells you to try and get as high up the cliff as you can. Positional goals are used to reach new plateaus on the cliff. Velocity based thinking tells us that getting really high up on the cliff is irrelevant given its infinite nature. Instead velocity based thinking tells us that the true experience of life has to come from the rate at which we are climbing the cliff. Sitting at one notch of the cliff for too long is boring and unsatisfying regardless of your height. Velocity based goals in this sense are not used to reach the plateaus themselves, these goals are used to encourage, push and measure the rate at which you are climbing.

The key difference between positional goals and velocity based goals is simple. If you fail to achieve a positional goal, this is usually very demotivating. This is often why so many new goal setters fail to continue with the practice. The pain of failing to achieve when you’ve tried your best is often too great. Velocity based goals remove this problem entirely. Because the goal was simply a servant of directing and pushing your own growth, as long as you know you were trying your best (maximum velocity possible) then the goal was successful regardless of whether you underestimated the deadline necessary.

A velocity based paradigm is actually far more effective in improving our position.

The reason is actually rather simple. Positional based thinking is built on the notion of competition. As a result, we strive to make leaps ahead in our position based on where we are compared to others. If we are on the top then we slow down, for what is the point of trying really hard when you are already in the lead? If we are on the bottom, negativity and pessimism often cripple our growth. Position based thinkers tend to only achieve a maximum velocity when they feel they need to increase their position, yet that positional increase is achievable. Velocity based thinking doesn’t have this weakness. People who truly live this ideal are at a maximal velocity all of the time. Being at the top or bottom holds no distinction to these people. Rich or poor, strong or weak, healthy or ill these people are always traveling at a speed which is the most they can possibly achieve.

—————————-

I have always been a Velocity believer but what I like about personal velocity is it isn’t about frickin’ milestones and moving up the ladder and crap like that. It is about actions and objectives in a “movement” framework. And movement at your own pace. Its not a competition, but rather just with a goal of improving personal being. Judging yourself against … well … yourself I guess.

And with that I get to complete the circle on this quote and thought:

“That I am today; that I will be tomorrow.”

The only really important word L’Amour uses throughout this thought is “I.”

It’s not about competition.

It’s not about goals and objectives.

It is about I. And what “I” wants <or needs>.

That said. Life is tough enough without having to have someone else tell you how to ‘progress’ personally. Go your own speed. Fuck what anyone says.

Sure. Business weighs you down with meaningless milestones & expectations all the time.

Sure. Society, in general, crams goals down your throat all the time.

And, sure, becoming who you want to be “tomorrow” takes lots and lots of work.

But. I would suggest you are actually minimizing your chances of success if you always go the speed of what everyone else is demanding of you. Maximizing your ‘self success’ is most likely found in finding, and going, your own velocity.

Anyhow.

I love this quote.

Love it mostly because I like the way it gives the truth instead of some pithy inspirational flippant quote. I like it because while it frames time in a today-tomorrow dimension it doesn’t say how fast it should be, or needs to be, done. You choose the velocity in which it happens.

This I am today, that I will be tomorrow. Words to live by.

===================

edited from original post from August 2010

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“As we must account for every idle word, so must we account for every idle silence.”

Benjamin Franklin

————–

Silence when it is because you didn’t say something is a, well, a haunting silence. It haunts because inevitably we must account for our idleness when it happens. It is the repercussion of the version of ‘things you don’t say.’ (see: https://brucemctague.com/things-people-dont-say ).

That means this is not about things you purposefully ‘don’t say’ … because that is about selective silence … this is more about regrets and missed moments and shit like that.

This type of silence is more a ‘regret silence’ and is about accountability in our own minds, ie., accounting of the repercussions of choice, and choices, we make with regard to ‘idle silence.’

—-

In my voice

there is at least a sign

of living geometry

the words of life

I have never understood

the absurd

difference that runs

between death and the illusion

of the heart’s beating.

Salvatore Quasimodo

—

Despite the fact I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest <and I am fairly sure most people know this>, we still struggle with warring impulses to speak up and shut up.

Look.

I am a no regrets guy. I kind of feel like it’s a waste of energy looking backwards and regretting shit. In fact. Most of the time I would argue the things you think you regret probably did more to make you the person you are today than anything you didn’t regret.

That said. Idle silence can be fixed in some cases. Yup. You can if you spend a little time thinking about some of the things you didn’t say, recognize them and figure out if you can do something about it.

By the way.

This is not navel gazing <of which I am not a huge fan of>, but rather an examination of your actions, or inactions, in assessing and improving. And maybe in the examination you will find yourself seeking an opportunity to say one of these things:

“I’m sorry I didn’t …”

We’ve all have made some bad idle silent mistakes. And apologies, when used well and sparsely, can have real meaning.

Not cheap meaning, but valuable meaning.

To someone else, or, to yourself.

So say you’re sorry.

And don’t attach a “but” excuse to the apology. Eliminate ‘but I was really upset …’ or ‘but I thought …’ or any ‘but statement’ that diminishes the apology, absolves you of the mistake or shifts even the tiniest amount of blame back on the other person.

Say you’re sorry, say why you’re sorry, and take all the blame.

No less … no more.

Acceptance is a small quiet room, no less than you want, no more than you need.

“I’m sorry I let you down.”

By the way.

This is not “I’m sorry.”

This is sorry attached to something.

Attached to something because sometimes people take a chance on you and for some reason you don’t step up and get it done. This means someone else stuck their neck out and you didn’t care enough or were not good enough or … well … just not enough.

To be clear, once again, this can be someone else or it can be yourself in terms of how this is viewed.

Most times in these situations we make excuses … or simply ignore the fact someone took a chance on us and we put our head down and get on getting on. We rarely take the time, or maybe don’t have the guts, to stop and say … “I know you went out on a limb for me and I’m really sorry I let you down. I will do my best to never let it happen again.”

Yeah.

I know you can’t go back in time.

But maybe if you are lucky, you can still say it even though it is better late than never.

My real point is to ‘never let it happen again.’

If you don’t step up when someone puts you in a position to step up, own it. No excuses … no caveats … own it.

It ain’t easy. But this is a good hard. The kind of hard that makes you a better person.

Anyway.

I am chuckling as I wrote this because there will be a shitload of people who will not ‘get’ what I am writing about. I say that because there are a lot of talkers in the world. They talk and talk and … well … talk. They bludgeon you with words. And some of them may look back and actually find some idle silence to be accountable for, but then they will use gobs of words to try and be accountable for the idle time.

—–

 “Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.”

Robert Frost

—–

Look. We all have some ‘idle silence’ to be accountable for. We all have made some silence choices we most likely regret. We will never always get it right. That is Life. But we can always be accountable for our choices. And we should be accountable for the things we didn’t say … the idle silence. Ponder.

=====

 “I finished by saying that it struck me that all the ethical systems I was discussing were after the fact.

That is, that people act as they are disposed to, but they like to feel afterwards that they were right and so they invent systems that approve of their dispositions.”

alexei panshin

============ 

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

====

This is about business and also about “the post-Christmas let down”.

What they have in common is what someone once called “happiness hangovers.” I imagine any of us in the business world have felt this after a big meeting or some big trade show or some big thing we have prepared for and had some element of ‘showtime.’

That’s the same kind of funk we fall into after Christmas.

There are a couple of reasons this happens. One scientific and one mental.

Science.

The dopamine let down. Scientifically we juice ourselves up with dopamine in order to ‘meet the moment.’ Think of this as the feeling you get every time the email notification on your phone goes of — every 15 seconds for almost 12 hours straight. Each ‘email has arrived’ notification sends a quick dose of dopamine to the brain, we get jolted <love the high> and then immediately receive another. When we are focused on this specific goal we get the rush of dopamine flowing through our brain and when the goal is achieved your body naturally reduces the levels of dopamine.

The body rebalances itself. The dopamine high goes from high … to low. Then finally normal <assuming there is something normal>.

Bottom line result? We feel bummed. We feel drained. This is the science version of ‘let down.’

Mental.

The positive feelings let down. According to psychologist Gary Stollak, psychology professor, most people have a “happiness set point.” Let’s call that a “5” on the self happiness meter.

Therefore when we get up for something, and it concludes satisfactorily, we rise to a high. Our happiness meter shifts up to 10 <maybe 11 if you are a Spinal Tap fan>.

Unfortunately, your happiness meter balances out. That is partially why your happiest highs are often followed by depressed lows. The worst part of this aspect is what we fill the empty space , which happiness used to hang out in, with doubts, questions, regrets, what ifs, whatever else we could add in that diminished the true happiness and high.

Bottom line result? We go high, we go low and, hopefully, normalize.

Regardless. Suffice it to say, post Christmas, post meeting, post whatever, we are dealing with “it’s over.”

So this year when you sit back with the realization that Christmas is over just take a moment and think about how you (and all of us) deal with the happiness hangover.

The aftermath is so anti-climactic versus the moment itself we tend to fill the space with stuff associated with the event trying to drag it out for as long as we can.

Christmas?

Leave the tree up.

Leave the lights up.

Maybe still play the music.

Business?

Retell the highlight moments.

Replay portions in meetings.

Gather to relive aspects.

As mentioned upfront in this piece, we continuously try to invent things that approve of their dispositions.

We hate to let it go even though our body is telling us we should.

And maybe that is what hurts us the most. Our bodies have left it behind and yet we continue to try and stuff our body & minds with the trappings of “what was” (or, worse, try and make up for how expectations where not met).

We all do it.

And most of us do it unconsciously.

Is it really bad for us to do it?

Well. Research has linked the let-down of perceived stress with an increase in flare-ups of pain and other ailments. One study found that people experience more panic attacks on weekends, and a 2015 study from Taiwan found that holidays and Sundays have more emergency room admissions for peptic ulcers than weekdays do. A 2014 study showed migraine sufferers, in times of stress, didn’t impact migraine occurrence, but a decline in their perceived stress from one evening entry to the next entry was associated with increased migraine onset over the following six to 18 hours <they called this a “let-down headache”>

……………….. Christmas is over …….

Well.

All that said.

The day after Christmas, Christmas is done, but still not completely gone. And just as we do with big work events … we are dealing with the ‘let down effect.’ And while we hang on relentlessly to the trappings even though the event is done and gone at least now you know there are real scientific and psychological reasons behind we are so silly.

Happy Happiness Hangover.

===

“The list could surely go on, and there is nothing more wonderful than a list, instrument of wondrous hypotyposis.”

Umberto Eco

—-

“We made a drywall list of keyboard buttons we would like to see:

PLEASE, THANK YOU, FUCK OFF, DIE, OOPS…MY MISTAKE, DO SOMETHING COOL AND SURPRISE ME.”

Douglas Coupland

——-

Archaic as it may sound, writing things down may be more important today than ever before.

Yup. Crazy, huh?

Writing shit down does matter.

Which leads me to how many times do we hear about someone complaining about how they missed a deadline or forgot to do something?

Well. If you interviewed all the guilty parties the overwhelming answer would be. 

“TIME! 

THERE’S NOT ENOUGH TIME!”

 Yup.

There is the culprit. That bastard Time.

It pretty much is a consensus in business, and Life, that the only thing that creates missed deadlines and missed ‘task doing’ is lack of time.

If you think about it just a bit, that’s kinda nuts. Ok. Maybe it is just a bogus excuse.

The reality is the issue is not Time but rather, uhm, “everyone is always looking to do an unreasonable amount of things in an unreasonable amount of time.”

All that said. I say “nuts” to that.

Critical deadlines are part of business and will always be a part of business. If you can’t live with crazy deadlines, get out of business. Go be the person behind the counter at the bike rental place or a government employee at the driver’s license department or a park ranger.

Now that I am done being an asshole let’s assume you have a real job in a real office with real responsibilities.

This is where the whole writing shit down topic becomes relevant.

You may have heard of the Yale <or Harvard Business School> study of goals in which only 3% of the graduating class had specific written goals for their futures. Twenty years later that 3% was found to be earning, uhm (clears throat a bit), 10x that of the group that had no clear goals.

Oops.

That is an urban myth so please do not screenshot that portion and expound upon goals.

No actual study done. In fact. Fast Company published an article about the alleged study: “If Your Goal is Success, Don’t Consult These Gurus”: http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/06/cdu.html . So all those “list business consultant gurus” and the gazillion self help list making books are full of shit.

However.

Just to be fair <not to the expert blowhards, but to lists> a clinical psychologist at Dominican University in California has conducted research on goals.

1. Types of goals:

Participants pursued a variety of goals including (in order of frequency reported) completing a project, increasing income, increasing productivity, getting organized, enhancing performance/achievement, enhancing life balance, reducing work anxiety and learning a new skill.

Examples of “completing a project” included writing a chapter of a book, updating a website, listing and selling a house, completing a strategic plan, securing a contract, hiring employees and preventing a hostile take-over.

2. Goal Achievement:

Group 5 achieved significantly more than all the other groups; Group 4 achieved significantly more than Groups 3 and 1; Group 2 achieved significantly more than Group 1.

  3. Differences between all writing groups and the non-writing group: 

Although the previous analysis revealed that Group 2 (written goals) achieved significantly more than Group 1 (unwritten goals), additional analysis were performed to determine whether there were also differences between the group that had not written their goals (Group 1) and all groups that had written their goals (Groups 2-5). This analysis revealed that the mean achievement score for Groups 2-5 combined was significantly higher than Group 1.

Conclusions:

1. The positive effect of accountability was supported

Those who sent weekly progress reports to their friend accomplished significantly more than those who had unwritten goals, wrote their goals, formulated action commitments or sent those action commitments to a friend.

2. There was support for the role of public commitment

Those who sent their commitments to a friend accomplished significantly more than those who wrote action commitments or did not write their goals.

3. The positive effect of written goals was supported

Those who wrote their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write their goals.

——————

 My point here is simply that lists can help in a variety of ways. This study shows some evidence that a combination of accountability, commitment and writing down one’s goals demonstrates writing shit down enhances the likelihood of goal achievement.

But here is the most interesting point. Its not really about accountability, its more about eliminating stress. Yeah.  List making has its highest value not in actual productivity, but actually with stress reduction.

Stress?

Yup. There is a guy named James Fallows who wrote in 2004-something the fact that our brains may not be able to remember shit when it gets overloaded and, yet, at the same time the brain also can’t forget. Basically that is the cognitive paradox – overload and locked & loaded.

Regardless.

That sucks.

At some deep and not very efficient level the brain is always chewing over all the things you should have done, but haven’t. Worse? As it chews away it tends to remind you of them at the worst time – typically in the middle of the night.

What this suggests is that most of our stress comes not from having too much to do, but from trying to keep track of it all. Which explains why, when you’re feeling so overwhelmed and you finally sit down and make a list you tend to experience a sense of relief. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that this sense of relief occurs even if the tasks just written down remain as unfinished as when you began.  Yup. But now your brain has a plan to chew on. Basically you have offloaded the job of remembering them to an “outboard brain” which then permits your actual ‘inboard brain’ to relax a little.

Regardless. Here is the deal.

If you are in a business you can make lists until you have an entire wall covered with nothing but lists, but, frankly, all the shit on your lists and why they never seem to get done are typically a reflection of the systems around you, or more specifically, the lack of systems as well as people who do not follow the system. Yeah. I just gave everyone who isn’t getting things done an excuse.

I am kinda okay with that excuse because, let’s face it, most companies just have crappy systems. Mostly because most business is done verbally or via email and true project management gets relegated to behind “all the shit we have to do now.”

Please do not misconstrue anything in what I say because project management is hard.

REALLY hard. Especially in a business organization.

Which leads me back to the main point of today’s piece:

EVERYTHING IS PUT INTO WRITING.

NO EXCEPTIONS.

It keeps you organized, because you no longer have to keep stuff in your head, but you can externalize it to a piece of paper, and later you can process it.

Why write it down?

It’s pretty simple. I don’t need research nor any guru to tell me the key thought.

Although there is no proven limit of how much stuff you can remember, there is always an opportunity cost. You cannot focus on too many things at the same time. Writing shit down is a powerful simple way to focus your attention, keep track of shit, and create a permanent record for the future.

Here is another factoid that should encourage you to write shit down: the Act of Writing Helps Your Memory.

Yup.

Have you ever noticed that when you write a shopping list, you can remember almost all the items on it without glancing at it? Or when you have a bright idea and scribble it in your notebook, you can remember it all day? The very act of writing things down helps to get them lodged into your long-term, not short-term, memory.

Look. Writing shit down on a consistent basis seems like a Time burden and often seems to not bear any obvious benefits. But, beyond achieving goals, lists can actually saves time.

——

“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.”

Goethe

——

Lists can save you time because they can help you decide what to do. I say that because not everything on a list is of equal value. Suffice it to say there are want to do’s and need to do’s. It was Stephen Covey who did an excellent job outlining how to think about things on your lists. This matrix is the creation of Stephen Covey <which he discusses in his book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”>.

Central to this matrix is organize and execute around priorities.

If we classify activities by urgency and importance, you arrive at the matrix above. Urgent means it requires immediate attention. Important has to do with results, it contributes to your mission, values or high priority goals. He advocates spending as much time as possible in Quadrant II, feeding opportunities and starving problems. The time you’ll need to add to Quadrant II will come from Quadrants III and IV. As you begin to spend more time in Quadrant II, the issues in Quadrant I will begin to dwindle.

Which leads me to writing shit down and the quality of idea output.

Simplistically, off target ideas are bad ideas.

<yes … there are bad ideas>

Many people equate success in ideas to how nice the idea looks or feels or how quickly it was “turned around.” Some people equate success to quantity + speed to generate. And, yeah, I cannot argue that those things are important in today’s ‘cram 10 pounds of shit into a 2 pound bag’ and slightly frenetic <if not verging on chaotic> business world, but bad ideas are bad ideas and quantity & speed are not enough.

In today’s world just getting shit done doesn’t hack it; it has to work. It has to produce results. Turning crap around around in record time only means that you are an excellent crap producer. You check a whole bunch of shit off your lists, and you may show up in monthly meetings pointing out how much shit you have checked off your list, but at some point someone is going to point out all you have done is generate shit lists.

But, back to poor ideas.

I’ve been around the ideas part of business for almost forty years. In the process of doing thousands of ideas assignments, I have learned there are basically two things that contribute most to good ideas:

quality input

=

time

Good input is critical to good ideas and the proper amount of time for the input ingredients to cook to create the idea pretty much will make or break the quality of your output from your list items. I would like to note that adequate time may be one of the most underrated important factors in the ideas process. Yeah. The difference between bad ideas, good ideas and great ideas is always about having the opportunity to look & think about what you did yesterday. I can guarantee an idea given a chance to be finessed, to be rethought a little will be a better idea in the end.

Time <some … not an infinite no deadline amount> makes an idea better.

Anyway. I thought about this after seeing another one of those lists of ‘5 things successful people do’ and, humorously, making lists almost always seems to be on that list.

It’s kind of crazy <in my mind> because we Americans are, and always have been, list makers.

—

“Americans are good with to-do lists; just tell us what to do, and we’ll do it.

Throughout our history, we have proven that.

Colonize. Check.

Win our independence. Check.

Form a union. Check.

Expand to the Pacific. Check.

Settle the West. Check.

Keep the Union together. Check.

Industrialize. Check.

Fight the Nazis. Check.”

Marianne Williamson

—-

In the end. What is the best reason to write shit down?

You avoid verbal project management <which is a 98.32764% chance of failure if verbal>.

If you want something, or something done, write it down.

Nothing should be done on a verbal basis.

Things get lost when not written down. Thoughts, ideas, input, well, anything.

There you go …  writing shit down means the shit has a less likelihood of getting lost. Ponder.

“Everybody needs an EVIL PLAN. Everybody needs that crazy, out-there idea that allows them to ACTUALLY start doing something they love, doing something that matters. Everybody needs an EVIL PLAN that gets them the hell out of the Rat Race, away from lousy bosses, away from boring, dead-end jobs that they hate. Life is short.”

Hugh McLeod

===

“Great ambition is the passion of a great character. Those endowed with it may perform very good or very bad acts. All depends on the principals which direct them.” –

 Napoleon Bonaparte

===

Make it a thing. Once it is a ‘thing,’ how does it have value. Once it has value, how can it create or generate more value.

——

Foreword: The foremost expert on evil plans is Hugh MacLeod (Evil Plans: Having fun on the Road to Domination). Fantastically written short business book I recommend to everyone.

———————–

This is about Purpose and evil plans and business. Ok. Its about the value in business of an evil plan, not having a Purpose, but having ambition, uhm, to create value in what the business offers. To be clear. Ambition can veer an evil plan to, well, evil, or it can veer it to spectacular success with integrity.  And that is the difficulty with ambition. Drawing lines. And the key to that line is principles because principles are not meant to be redrawn. They are not fleeting nor casual. And I imagine that leads me to character. And character isn’t discussed directly, or it shouldn’t be, the discussion revolves around how to attain their ambitions. And that is about principles. Then the issue becomes having principles, but worrying <a lot> that the world the business is competing in does not. That creates a worry that if one lives by their principles, i.e., doing what they believe is right and the right thing to do in what they perceive is a ‘dog eat dog’ world, they will get chewed up. It then becomes a worry that doing the right thing and having principles will actually hinder the business in their journey toward their ambition.

Which leads me to evil plans.

I tend to believe having an evil plan may be the path to a principled attack on an unprincipled evil system. I know that sounds a bit weird, so let’s talk about evil first. “Evil,” in this case, is your unspoken ambition to rule the world (the size of that world is up to you – your corner of it to denting the universe itself). Now. You can choose to be a benevolent ruler of that world or a less-than-benevolent ruler, but either way I would it takes an evil plan to attain any ruler ambition. To be clear, evil is a bit tongue-in-cheek, but it also meant to have an edge to it. Why? A dull knife only cuts butter and carving out a piece of the world, which is made of harder stuff than butter, demands a stronger sharp edge. Anyway. I don’t think it hurts to conjure up your own evil plan with the intent to address whatever your ambition is.

From there let’s move on to evil plans. I would suggest that there are a shitload of very happy people with Evil Plans in a drawer somewhere sitting there just gathering dust – they just found a different plan that fulfilled their ambitions ‘just enough.’ To be clear. I am not suggesting compromise; just a happy place. That said. There are also a shitload of happy people out there pursuing their Evil Plan.

Regardless. Everyone should have an Evil Plan. And you know what? Everyone has a Purpose. Individually, I believe they go hand in hand. If you believe you have a Purpose, or should identify some Purpose in life <most often found in how you contribute something that positively affects someone else>, then you should at some point consider crafting an Evil Plan to provide a constant stream of nutrients to this Purpose of yours. I actually think this is healthy thinking and much healthier than ‘pursue your passion’ bullshit.

===

Great visions are grounded by the practical pragmatism of what it takes to reach a destination which is often located somewhere over the horizon … unseeable but imaginable.

Visions should be lofty and grounded.

==

Which leads me to ambition.

Ambition is about having a vision, vision statements and thinking of a ‘place to go’ and a place to aim for. in other words, this is about having your own evil plan to rule the world (world not to be taken literally), i.e., your biggest ambition. Let me state upfront. I think quite a lot of business activity – is desperate to prove the efficacy of what it itself does. This answers, generally speaking, the question of why so many businesses are buying into the overall Purpose bullshit and ‘start with the why’ silliness. The ‘proving efficacy’ issue has garbled the entire discussion between the purpose of business, Purpose in business and whether “Vision” has a role in this new world. To be clear. I believe business has focused on efficiency, growth and squeezing margins out of the ‘least’ to such an extent that not only has value decreased in the marketplace but people – inside a business and outside – are questioning the actual value a business offers <this ‘questioning’ bleeds into a discussion of what the purpose – not Purpose – of business actually is>. Consequently, ambition has been reduced into KPIs, goals and a bunch of numbers. As a consequence of that fairly abhorrent misguided activity, I think the pursuit of something better has become increasingly important to an increasing amount of people. There beget the seeds of “Purpose.’ And while I began this longish paragraph with ‘desperate to prove efficacy’ let me say this is also true of Purpose. Richard Shotton, in The Choice Factory, does a spectacular job of dismantling any ‘value of Purpose’ evidence discussed in Stengel’s famous book “Grow.” Once again, to be clear, I love the discussion of Purpose, but it should be done not to prove efficacy of a business, but rather to prove the business wants to benefit people. And before I move on, I should say that I believe the ‘purpose’ of every business is “to benefit people”.

=

“All production is for the purpose of ultimately satisfying a consumer.”
John Maynard Keynes

=

I thought about that last point as I scanned another piece talking about Purpose in business. This one suggested that “human rights would be the next important Purpose.” Well. That’s nuts. Not the human rights aspect <that’s something we should all embrace>, the part about human rights being a business Purpose. That’s nuts. Why is it nuts? First. Human Rights is a cause. If you are a business and want to embrace this cause, I applaud you. Its not your Purpose, it’s a cause you support. Second. Unless you are the UN department for Human Rights, you are a business that makes something and sells something. Human Rights is not a business, shouldn’t be treated like a business, and you are in a business.

Here’s the point. Whatever you are selling isn’t merely a product or service. It’s also a product of a belief system – your own belief system. And understanding your belief system is crucial to building your Evil Plan. It’s not what you make; it’s what you believe in. That’s what people respond to. That is where your enterprise lives or dies. So. Go believe in something. It really works. Trust me.

—

Which leads me to objectives and, well, WORLD DOMINATION.

—

Everyone lives in their own little world. The planet is just too damn big for one person to take it all in. So every human being seeks out their own little microcosm. Whether we’re talking about Wall Street, the coffee shops of bohemian Chicago, the ranches of West Texas or the San Francisco advertising agency scene, we find these worlds that suit us (sometimes they find us too), and we pitch our tents there. These worlds are the ones we want to dominate. We all know where and what they are….

You don’t really aim to “dominate” the world you live in, of course. The most you can hope for is to live in harmony with it. You like it, it likes you back. Things just work. Things just click. And when your Evil Plan is going full steam, this is how it all feels.

—

Domination sounds competitive, but its not. It is simply purposeful intentions. I say that because if you seek to dominate with principles, and principled behavior, that is how you will carve up the unprincipled people and world and carve out the harmonious corner of the world in which your ambition can thrive. The other aspect of this is that purposeful intent is necessary to generate ‘flow’ and ‘flow’ is actually a state of purposefulness in action. Now. I am not suggesting that this business ‘world domination’ cannot have Purpose as a consequence, its just not an objective, its embedded in the principled behavior necessary to fulfill an Evil Plan to its highest value.

• ** note: highest value can truly only occur when someone, people, actually benefit and their lives, situations, actions, minds, are better from the encounter. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that encapsulates meaning, mattering, contribution and, yes, individual Purpose.

But I will suggest if you embrace DOMINATION, you are also most likely embracing your biggest ambition. Ponder that as you move on.

Which leads me to Infinite versus Purpose.

Maybe, just maybe, the real thought behind an Evil Plan is not so harebrained because … well … the market for something to believe in is infinite. I have written far too many times in the past that, in business, we are dealers of Hope. Hope for something better. Hope to be better. Hope for better than I am and what I have today.

Hope has an infinite value because, ultimately, it is something to believe in. Uhm. People will line up for the chance to be involved in something to believe in. It can be a product, a service, a brand, an ambition, or all of the above. Rather than preach some philosophical bullshit I will simply share what Hugh calls The HughTrain Manifesto:

===

THE HUGHTRAIN MANIFESTO: “THE MARKET FOR SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN IS INFINITE.”

We are here to find meaning. We are here to help other people do the same. Everything else is secondary.

We humans want to believe in our own species. And we want people, companies and products in our lives that make it easier to do so. That is human nature.

Product benefit doesn’t excite us. Belief in humanity and human potential excites us.

Think less about what your product does, and think more about human potential.

What statement about humanity does your product make?

The bigger the statement, the bigger the idea, the bigger your brand will become.

It’s no longer just enough for people to believe that your product does what it says on the label. They want to believe in you and what you do. And they’ll go elsewhere if they don’t.

It’s not enough for the customer to love your product. They have to love your process as well.

People are not just getting more demanding as consumers, they are getting more demanding as spiritual entities. Branding is a spiritual exercise.

Either get with the program or hire a consultant in Extinction Management. No vision, no business. Your life from now on pivots squarely on your vision of human potential.

The primary job of an advertiser is not to communicate benefit, but to communicate conviction.

Benefit is secondary. Benefit is a product of conviction, not vice versa.

Whatever you manufacture, somebody can make it better, faster and cheaper than you.

You do not own the molecules. They are stardust. They belong to God. What you do own is your soul. Nobody can take that away from you. And it is your soul that informs the brand.

It is your soul, and the purpose and beliefs that embodies, that people will buy into. –

Why is your Evil Plan great? Why does your Evil Plan matter? Seriously. If you don’t know, then nobody else can- no advertiser, no buyer, and certainly no customer.

It’s not about merit. It’s about faith. Belief. Conviction. Courage.

It’s about why you’re on this planet. To make a dent in the universe.

I don’t want to know why your brand is good, or very good, or even great. I want to know why your brand is totally frickin’ amazing.

Once you tell me, I can tell the world.

And then they will know.

=====

Or I could just share John Stuart Mill:

“One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interests.”

Anyway.

I like a business aiming for something in the future. Shit. I like aiming for something in the future.

I like an organization that feels like it is doing something more than making something or providing some service.

I like that the people making and doing the business stuff actually feel like they are doing something more than just making and doing business stuff.

I like that ambition aims for some “what”: as in what could be & what do we want to happen.

I like an ambition that is so big that it is compelling, not only to everyone else, but to me.

I like no matter how big that ambition gets it is still very specific in outlining who you are as a business, i.e., the lines are drawn with regard to principles.

Look. Here is what I know.

Your ambition is your dream. It is your company’s north star. And while its primary objective is to inspire and create a shared sense of purpose <not Purpose> throughout the company inevitably it sets the direction for new products, company culture, future decisions, hiring, incentives, and, well, everything.

It should be, well, dynamic beyond your own purpose so that you, as an individual, can fulfill your Purpose.

I will end with where I began: Creating a great company takes more than an idea. It demands a vision. And visions are more difficult to sell than products. Because a good vision isn’t easily attainable but still remains worth reaching for.

Visions are made up of ambition, principles, and Evil Plans. Either get with the program or hire a consultant in Extinction Management.  Ponder.

———

“It is better to be roughly right than precisely wrong.”

John Maynard Keynes

———————–

 “man trapped in the world of machines, unable to grow as a human being and become himself.”

Clockwork Condition (the unfinished sequel to Clockwork Orange)

———-

This is not about collaboration in the traditional sense. I tend to believe most collaboration discussions are misguided <utopian> and most actual collaboration leads to consensus and a less-than-optimal conclusion. That said. Every organization would benefit if every employee was able to maximize their potential which, in simplistic terms, means everyone contributes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone ‘contributes’ now, but what I mean is everyone contributes to the whole of the system and not just their part. I imagine what I am suggesting is dialogue throughout the organization which creates an exchange of information, knowledge, ideas and execution.

“If you really want a Learning Organisation you must build the capacity to change the internal dialogue. It is dialogue that has created who we are and only a change in our dialogue will change that. Networks will decide on their topic of conversation based on their sense of identity.”

Atkinson

Through interactions with the knowledge, and each other, the organization itself continuously improves – sometimes in small increments daily and sometimes in velocity driven shifts with emergent opportunities – and the people continuously improve. But it is also not just improvement in the traditional sense it is also improvement in terms of efficacy. One of the most overlooked and underdiscussed aspects of successful business is the alignment of resources to ‘the idea’ <strategy>. A paper trail certainly offers a schematic of who and what is available and when but the truth is it is only through conversations, and dialogue, where the nuances <which can make or break any strategy> can be discovered. Additionally, I would also note that an innate sense of organizational identity is crafted by the individuals within the organization through each and every interaction, iteration and action. But when everyone contributes there will be a constant tension found in the pushing & pulling and the tug of war between those who see the world pragmatically and those who envision the possibilities which keeps shaking the business etch a sketch. All of this happens within the frame <boundaries> of the organization culture and principles. Yes. All of that happens when everyone contributes. It is a constant feeding frenzy of what is and what will be fed by what people want & need driving new ideas and new ways of doing things and better ways of getting things done and … well … a better version of who you are as an organization.

And therein lies the power of purposeful possibilities: finding the “better” within what is.

This is a version of always seeing what will be, what could be, driven by ‘what is.’

I call this ‘better inside for a better outside’.  The better inside is obvious. This is purposeful adaptation and a constant fine tuning of how things are done and products & services offered.

But we cannot, and should not, forget that all of the ‘better inside’ feeds a ‘better desire’ outside.

Pragmatically customers want a better product, better efficiencies, better effectiveness and a better benefit offered.

From a possibilities standpoint your customers, even the business decision makers huddled over productivity reports and P&L statements desire something better than a good numbers report. Sure. That is the day-to-day ‘meet the needs state’ type stuff going on in their heads but at some point, they lean back in their chairs, either in the office or in the comfort of their home, and they desire, maybe even need, to see something better to validate themselves as human beings beyond simply ‘doing their job well.’ They want to feel they have done something better, offered something better or contributed something better, or, being dynamic themselves beyond their own practical purpose. When everyone contributes there are a greater sense of meaning and impact which is easier to articulate in your own head as well as to others that aren’t involved in the business but involved in your life. Contribution has a nice ability to translate well everywhere.

Anyway. My next point on everyone contributes. There are a lot, a shitload, of crazy smart business people out there. But there are not a lot of crazy smart business people who seem to be willing to do something crazy like ignore the business books which articulate principles and focus on ‘blueprints for success.” I imagine my point is that most businesses don’t consider ‘advantage’ as temporary. They see it as planned or when it actually happens, they treat it as sustainable.

And ultimately that becomes their downfall.

Windows of opportunity close. And often they close quickly. And maybe that is where the ‘sustainable’ belief really screws most businesses. They jump through the window of opportunity, and let’s say they even treat the stark contrast opportunity correctly, they then act like they are going to stay on that side of the window.

Wrong.

Bad decision.

Windows of opportunity are meant to be jumped through, opportunity maximized, and then you jump back before it closes again. I will say this. Windows CAN be held open for a bit, but only of everyone contributes. Because windows of opportunity, for the most part, are unplanned, so if people and resources flow to the opportunity that opportunity can be exploited and expanded upon. The corollary to that is if everyone CAN contribute it is more likely you get a better clue as to when to stop <which is actually one of the trickiest things in business>.

Anyway. My next point on everyone contributes is, well, lets call it the collective mind or the relationship between people and accessible knowledge through technology.

The cloud elevates all businesses to the level of the best generic technology <note: I do not know of one company/business who does not have access to Cloud technology>. Think of it as the common power grid from which a business opens up for business daily. But the real power of the cloud is it elevates the greater potential of any business as it taps into shared information to supplement, and compliment, the institutional data – while maintaining privacy of the institution itself. I would be remiss if I didn’t point out here that “people” <memory, knowledge, skills> represents institutional data in a significant way. That said. While the cloud represents an almost limitless pool of ever-growing knowledge and data, let me say that the cloud, in and of itself, can be just as stupid, if not stupider, than any one individual. More knowledge, used poorly, simply makes one stupider rather than smarter. The collective knowledge is only as good as who uses it.

As a corollary, individuals, and small groups of people, within an institution <augmented by the cloud collective knowledge> get smarter iteratively (even if they misuse knowledge because they learn from mistakes and discuss). Conceptually they get smarter than the cloud due to understanding of context and experience. I mention this to provide the possibilities and problems. When everyone contributes there is just a likelihood that everyone gets smarter as they will get stupider. Ponder that.

“In all things that are purely social, we can be as separate as the fingers, yet one as the hand in all things essential to mutual progress. There is no defense or security for any of us except in the highest intelligence and development of all.”

Booker T. Washington

In the end. We are in the midst of change. I will not call it disruptive because I simply think it is transformative. The context and dynamics of the world have shifted and business, as business does <albeit kicking and screaming>, will shift to optimize against the new dynamics. I would argue at the core of this transformation is an increased ability to learn AND need to learn. Paradoxically, the learning most impactful will take place on the periphery or edges of the businesses. This shift is even more important because I view this transformative change not as incremental change <slow & steady>, but rather discontinuous <asymmetrical> evolution which can radically reconfigure opportunities <and problems> from the expected ones. This means knowledge dissemination isn’t simply about distributing information/knowledge, but what kind of knowledge critical to the business model AND the discontinuous opportunity. This means shedding some of what one knows and adding some new to create an optimal strategic decision. It is an art of knowledge that arises from analytics of the context, instinctual sense of interconnectedness <and dependence>, lateral thinking and imagination. It will demand that everyone contributes everything they are capable of – not just some title or existing responsibility. This also requires some change in how we think about thinking. As Brian Arthur, Santa Fe Institute, says “retreat and reflect: allow the inner knowing to emerge.” In a world suggesting we need to move faster we need to give thinking, and thoughts, space. Far too often we try and squeeze our thinking believing if we strip everything away the truth will be uncovered. The truth is we would be more likely to think of something useful if after watching and listening and gathering information if we stepped back and let all those thoughts and scraps of information roam in the empty space a bit. In addition, it helps if you think on the periphery looking in rather than from the middle looking out. What I mean by that is we can far too often get caught up in attempting to wrangle things we know which sometimes means the solutions or ideas simply work in that moment (becoming less optimal from that point on – natural degradation). Instead, if you perch on the edges, the periphery, you can see how an idea plays out in the empty space as well as if there is anything beyond the periphery that may change your view. How do you do that? Well. Have everyone contribute.

Ponder.

—————–

“We get together on the basis of our similarities; we grow on the basis of our differences.”

Virginia Satir

“The essential element of successful strategy is that it derives its success from the differences between competitors with a consequent difference in their behavior. Ordinarily, this means that any corporate policy and plan which is typical of the industry is doomed to mediocrity. Where this is not so, it should be possible to demonstrate that all other competitors are at a distinct disadvantage.”

Bruce Henderson

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“Ability is of little account without opportunity.”

Napoleon Bonoparte

===

Business consultants. As with anything, there are good ones, and bad ones, and then there are those of us who think they could be a consultant and are a little unclear what defines a good one or bad one.

Regardless. Let’s take a minute and talk about consultants through my eyes. I will begin by suggesting I imagine it is often as effective in Life to admit what you are not good at as well as what you are good at in determining what you want to do.

I have already noted I would suck at being a free lancer <https://brucemctague.com/14-reasons-why-i-would-suck-at-freelancing>. And after reading a great article in The Economist <Schumpeter: Thinking twice about Price>, I will be able to note I would suck at being a consultant.

Why?

Because I have a deep need to tell the truth in business no matter what it may be.

Now. I did not believe that would be a problem until I read this article <okay, that is not true, I have always known telling the truth in business is often not a good ‘survival’ strategy>. That said. While reading the article I was beginning to think of myself as a potentially good business consultant because most of the thinking in the article discussed why businesses should be discussing how to raise their prices rather than cut costs as a way to increase profits <I am a huge advocate for this type of business thinking>.

Oh.

And then I reached the end of the article and … well … oops. I was mistaken. Because apparently while many consultants may actually believe this <raising prices can be good> and believe it is the right thing to do they will not tell a client for fear of not maintaining the relationship (please take note of the bolded part there):

“The irony, confides a senior management consultant, is that firms have such a taboo against letting go of a client … that they are the worst at taking their own advice to be fearless in asking for more, and walking away if they do not get it.”

The Economist <Schumpeter July 2013>

I couldn’t be a consultant because, uhm, I am too fearless? Because I am willing to walk away? Well. That not only sounds odd said out loud it even looks ludicrous now that it is typed. In fact. Its 100% bullshit. It seems to me being good at anything in business doesn’t really have to do with being fearless, but rather being someone of integrity.

Anyhoo.  To be clear. I am not anti-consultant. I actually believe they can provide a huge value to businesses <although I do believe how they go about business is a little wacky on occasion: https://brucemctague.com/a-rant-about-process-and-consulting>.

Wacky process or not, I sometimes believe the title ‘consultant’ is incorrect and does not infer enough responsibility upon the consultant themselves.

Maybe they should be called truth teller? fixer? guide? or, as my friend Dr. Jason fox would suggest, leading a quest?

Anyway. In my mind, a consultant should do work that most large companies <and smaller leaner organizations> are simply incapable of doing internally. Well. They are actually capable (most companies actually have the smart people who can do what a consultant <truth seeker> is hired to do), but those people are already in important positions already doing important things to keep the company going. In other words, they have other important shit to do.

Just to go on the record <this is Bruce mental research and not some expansive global survey of actual results and feedback> I believe there are several groupings of consultants:

–          The larger consulting firms. They are really really smart <but maybe not willing to tell you all you need to hear>, in addition, they tend to offer square peg solutions no matter the shape of the hole your business has.

–          Maybe 50% of the smaller consultants are really really good. They are senior experienced folk who know what they know and are willing to not do things they don’t know. Some may tell you what you need to know and some may tell you what you want to hear <because small businesses sometimes go into survival mode>, but, get a good one of these and hold onto them as tight as you would hold onto your best employees.

–          Maybe 25% of the smaller consultants are not really that smart in a solution criteria judgment way, but are really really good listeners and can play back something they have heard in a way that actually helps you <the company> identify a solution you kind of already knew but now it becomes clearer & actionable. Maybe these ‘consultants’ are what are now called “coaches.”

–          And the last 25% are hacks. They think they are smarter than they really are. They are sincere with regard to believing their own capabilities, but they sincerely give you really bad advice. What may be worse is they aren’t really charlatans, they just don’t really know their shit.

Oh.

A quick note on the fact that the larger consulting firms are really really smart (but typically not in a ‘maximize full potential of a business way). It is a fact that most of the larger consultancies have gobs of very smart, very ambitious, very hard-working young inexperienced people killing themselves to do what they are required to do. And these gobs of smart young people feed information to more senior experienced team leaders <who actually know what they are talking about> leading to some really smart insightful thoughtful thinking. Unfortunately, you <the client & company> may never get to hear what the really smart insightful thoughtful thinking is because it is going to be tempered in a way to insure you don’t walk away. In other words they fear telling the truth because the truth may piss you off <or it may not be what you want to hear>. I imagine I am suggesting large consultants, no matter how arrogant they are, are the least fearless consultant options you can find.

Now. On one particular dimension consultants are the furthest thing from stupid. They know what most companies already know … that truth telling inside organizations is a common challenge.

“Authentic and honest internal communication results in better, faster decisions and actions. It also builds a culture of trust and collaboration where opposing views are debated and more effective solutions and innovations are created. In reality, however, there is a distinct lack of truth-telling inside most organizations. I’m not talking about malevolent dishonesty. No-one goes to work thinking “I’m going to hinder my own and my company’s performance by withholding the truth from my colleagues”. I’m talking about the many moments each day where we think one thing, but say something different; where we have an idea that may be of value, but we hold back and say nothing; where we are called upon to give an honest opinion, but decide to say what is easier or what we think others want to hear.”

Lynn Harris <organizational development consultant>

And it is a challenge for actually a good reason.

Telling the truth is not pervasive in most organizational cultures because we fear the consequences. This fear is all about an imagined <and often very real> negative impact.

It is a fear of conflict as well as fear of self survival.

I read this somewhere which captures the real fear better than almost anything else I read:

One thing’s for sure, in an environment where truth-telling is not the norm, we would certainly stand out by speaking frankly and many of us would prefer to keep our head down rather than present a stationary target.

This all leads to me to another non-research supported point.

It seems like there are two basic types of consultants.

• Those that listen carefully for what the client wants to hear.
• Those that listen carefully to isolate the issues  for what their clients should hear.

As a corollary, there seem to be two types of consultant clients.

• Those who really want consultants to tell them exactly what they want to hear <with the intent to support their own ‘already made up mind’>.
• Those who really want the consultant to help them and want to hear what they need to hear.

Regardless. Great business consultants are like psychiatrists, well, but different. While psychiatrists only ask questions <the patient must answer them>, consultants ask the questions and answer them or guide the business toward some answers..

Ok. But back to me not as a consultant.

I would suck because somewhere down the business career road I began to tell the truth. I knew I had to from a personal integrity standpoint, therefore, the first person I had to stop lying to was myself. While I cannot consciously go back to any one point in my career and say “this was the moment” I can say unequivocally, while painful to a lot of people around me, once I began telling the truth it seemed like my business life began to become my own. And it happened very very quickly.

So how does Truth in consulting come to life?

I like to report what I find without considering whether they fit the client’s preconceptions.

I like to admit if I cannot find something or even if I do find something that I have no frickin’ idea what it means <but still share the information>.

I like to give a point of view so I can be held to it <and actually get compensated more if I am right>.

I like to give the best recommendations for their future business without thinking about the impact on my own future business.

I like, well, to tell the truth.

Why? Well, its not just an integrity thing, it is more a business thing. I tend to believe businesses need truth more now than ever particularly if they seek to rise above mediocrity and optimize at least some of their potential. So many organizations seem to run on fear these days <which I do not believe is healthy> and I kind of feel like it is my responsibility to give voice to the fears and the truths <which one could construe as the ‘hope’>. Consultants need to act like the co-pilots of the ship (that quest thing) not passengers who are along for the ride. By the way this is an aggravating behavior to the current pilots of the ship.

Yeah.

I know.

I would suck at being a consultant.

Not only does no one want to hear the truth … when they do hear it they disregard it is ‘non-truth’, i.e., ’that’s not really the way its is’, or worse – the answer that sends me directly to a bar – “oh, that isn’t relevant.”

I imagine my real point here is that a consultant is worth every overpriced dime you give them; if they tell the truth.

Ponder.

===

postscript: I have actually done a small bit of consulting, maybe what someone would call some ‘coaching’ because I have found some businesses who like to have the hard discussions. that said. I have been incredibly fortunate to find some think tanks, who like to think about the future, who like to take on some of the harder discussions.

===========

“For in some ways the world was like a shopping centre, and he himself was a doubtful customer, often ineffectual, being talked into buying things he didn’t want, things indeed which nobody in their right mind would want to buy.”

Margaret Mahy

=================

I admit. Similar to most people I have always thought of choices and decisions as forks in the road … go this way or go that way <although I have suggested in the past that Life is a game of chess with choice making>.

But what if choices are like a shopping center?

What if the world exists as a shopping center of choices and decisions in which you can be bamboozled into some choices or maybe out of sheer exhaustion you just buy something or because this one store is more convenient you buy that choice; never seeing another choice in the store on the other side of the shopping center?

Well. Let’s be honest. That sounds more like reality with regard to choices and decisions that some simplistic ‘fork in the road.’

===

“Why can’t I try on different lives, like dresses, to see which one fits me and is most becoming?”

Unknown

===

“Explain the value and justify the cost.

People don’t mind paying; they just don’t like to overpay.”

Chris Murray

===========

Anyway. Life decisions.

You know something? We bitch & moan about making decisions and the angst over Life choices, but, in general, we don’t really mind making them. Generally speaking we make about 30,000 of those suckers daily.

We just don’t like to overpay for our decisions and choices.

And that is where choice shopping centers screw us up. We wander into stores looking at crap we think would look great on us, and maybe we even buy it, but when we get home it not only doesn’t look as good … it looks like shit <or stupid>.

Uh oh.

It is non returnable.

It is non refundable.

You own it.

The choice, the one you made, is yours.

And maybe we made that choice because some ad suggested it or something in the store whispered in our ear or we even get some good sales pitch or someone we respected suggested it would be a good choice. In all cases we are, in some form or fashion, explained the cost of our choice <by Life in this metaphor>, we think we see the value, and then we decide to pay or not pay. That is the value equation.

But here is the biggest problem with regard to thinking about choices as a shopping center. You cannot leave the shopping center having bought nothing. Buying nothing is not really an option.

Yeah. I just said that. You will not leave empty handed.

And I think most of us know that <even if we do, on occasion, simply decide to make … well … no decision> because we know that we tend to seek reasons to make one choice over another. And that makes me think about the fact there may be nothing worse than thinking you have a chance when you don’t have an ice cube’s chance in hell.

Thinking you have a chance is normal. In fact it is so natural to think it you almost have to convince yourself that there really truly is no chance. Here is what I mean. Standing in some store in the choice shopping center, and maybe you have visited five stores already and bought nothing you end up thinking even that one choice that is maybe just not your color or not exactly your size or, well, you get it; you convince yourself you have some chance it will end up looking great on you.

This thought process gets reinforced by Society which is constantly seeking ways to convince you that that ‘no chance’ is simply a sign of pessimism or lack of ‘positive thinking’ <or … “it would fit you if you only worked harder” type shit advice>.

Well.

That is bullshit.

No chance is no chance.

In fact I would suggest a sliver of a chance is still no chance.

A shopping center of choices always offers you, uhm, choices. They may not be perfect and in fact you may find that all the stores with the good shit are closed that day and the only choices you can buy are in the dingy Dollar Store.

Regardless. Life is more often than not about making choices on where to invest energy rather than a simplistic ‘right versus wrong’. Investing energy in ‘no chance’ situations are a drain.

Most good choices have nothing to do with ‘beating the odds.’ Most are about honestly assessing chance and probability.

I am certainly not suggesting this is easy.

Having been to dozens of shopping centers where every store fights to sell you something shouting at the top of their lungs ‘you do have a chance,’ I fully recognize it absolutely sucks to have no chance let alone admit to yourself “no chance”.

I take some solace in the fact that I know what sucks more. Thinking you actually have a chance when you do not. And I fully recognize the suckiest decision of all … not even going to the shopping center. Even if you hate shopping showing up at the shopping center is what it is all about. It seems almost weird to even suggest this, but simply showing up can have dramatic consequences.

Yup.

Even something as unspectacular as ‘showing up’ can be a choice which has dramatic consequences to your destiny.

We far too often think of fate when looking in a rear view mirror.

We far too often think about fate when looking at choices as “this way or that way.”

We far too often think about choices, and the choices WE made, which actually led us to the place where we saw what we saw in that rear view mirror rather than all the other choices that possibly impacted ‘fate’, i.e., we far too often reflect linearly or ’cause & effect’ rather than complexity.

We far too often think about the sea in which choices are made as something controlled, and controllable, by us rather than some invisible hand.

And I imagine, we far too often rarely think about showing up as a key choice.

===========

“No matter what choice you make, it doesn’t define you. Not forever. People can make bad choices and change their minds and hearts and do good things later; just as people can make good choices and then turn around and walk a bad path. No choice we make lasts our whole life. If there’s ever a choice you’ve made that you no longer agree with, you can make another choice.”

Jonathan Maberry

===========

Anyway.

I tend to believe most of us do not think of Life choices in a shopping center like way because it can seem pretty overwhelming. In addition, it possibly forces us to think about how easily we are bamboozled in a retail environment to buy shit we don’t need, or buy shit that isn’t really good for us or even buy shit that doesn’t fit us.

It is much simply to say “right or left” or “this way or that way.”

Unfortunately.

Life is just not that simple.

Unfortunately.

Choices are just not that simple.

More often than not we are, well, a doubtful customer, often ineffectual, being talked into buying things he didn’t want, things indeed which nobody in their right mind would want to buy.”

That sucks.

Ponder.

——-

“If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I bet they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day.”

Calvin and Hobbes

——-

Unfortunately, it seems like we focus a shitload on what we do every day, i.e., the ‘doing’ in Life.

Unfortunately, while Life doesn’t force us to do this, it certainly encourages us to do so.

Life does this by throwing obstacles and things to do and responsibility in front of us seemingly as we take each step into the day. Because Life does this it seems impossible to do anything BUT think what we do all day as the most important thing.

Look. I am not here to suggest what we do each day isn’t important.

Well.

Maybe I am just thinking about it.

Thinking about it because I worry it is unhealthy reductionism. In other words, it is shrinking.

Shrinking before the immensity of Life.

Uhm.

Immensity of life.

The sheer onslaught of everything day-to-day DOES seem immense. Given that, let’s face it, it is easy to shrink before it.

By shrinking, day to day, surprisingly, is actually easier for us to face everything. I am not suggesting it is less difficult; just easier. It shrinks things down to, well, things.

Things to do.

Things to say.

Things to check off on a list.

Things to put on a list.

There is never a shortage of ‘things.’

We cram all those things into Life and Life is, well, immense. Immense in its intangible and vagueness.

I imagine I am suggesting we don’t <or at least make the attempt> shrink from purpose in Life simply using ‘what we do in daily life’ as an excuse. Its not a fear of being ‘too much’, but rather it is a survival tactic.

To be clear, that whole individual ‘purpose in Life’ is tricky thing because ‘purpose’ tends to be vague.

Generally speaking it just comes down to ‘doing good (things)’ which benefit beyond your own doing self, i.e., others reap some benefits.

Yikes.

But does that mean doing good for whomever is in front of you at the expense of someone else? Or doing a greater good for the planet at the expense of someone in front of you?

Yikes <again> … yes … those choices are real.

Simplistically, in facing the immensity of Life, most of us try to believe it is simply ‘doing the right thing.’ But sometimes the right thing for you, or from your perspective, is the wrong thing from someone else.

It is ‘having a good heart’ <meaning well>. But does that absolve you from meaning well, but still causing harm because meaning well sometimes means not making the hard decision.

Or sometimes it does. Meaning well can still have some unfortunate consequences to some people.

Which leads me to suggest individual purpose, to be meaningful, is a combination of intangible higher order type stuff with some tangible daily <or weekly> decisions and choices.

You ‘think’ something and ‘do’ some other things.

And it is not easy not just because it forces you to make some choices but also because, well, Life is immense..

And it is not easy on top of what you do in your daily lives.

I do believe most of us realize there are an infinite amount of ‘bigger things’ to be done.

I do believe most of us realize there are more important things than what people do all day.

Uhm. I also believe most of us shrink before the immensity of Life.

And I do not mean that as a criticism just as something that is normal human behavior <or reaction to what is in Life>.

I don’t have answers here. Just questions. As in questioning whether I pay enough attention to things beyond what people, and I, do all day.

——

“I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.”
E.E. Cummings

——–

I imagine I believe that while I do not have the answer today, if I keep asking the questions maybe I will get closer to an answer tomorrow or in some day after that.

I kind of think looking at the stars helps a bit to remind us to question and to think about the immensity of it all.

Ponder.

——–

“I don’t think that people accept the fact that life doesn’t make sense. I think it makes people terribly uncomfortable. “

David Lynch

——-

“Compromising dreams for the stunning reality of life. 🙁 “

mnmsnickers <twitter>

——-

Well. I almost called this ‘playing the game.’ Shit. I almost called this ‘scaring the world.’

“Scare the world: Be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth.”
The Shock of Honesty

When I think about this I think about hollow spaces and empty people.

Why?

Well. Compromising the wrong way, playing the game as it were, is all about filling a hollow space with empty people <or an empty job or an empty anything>.

But let’s step back a second.

Once you know what you are good at, maybe even have a clear sense of what attaining your ‘dream’ would be, you kind of have a tendency to think all you have to do from that point on is to sort out the finer details.

Compromise?

Play the game?

Those words never enter your head.

Unfortunately, we soon discover that life has other plans for us. I say that fairly sure that most of us do not grow up truly believing they could have it all — all as in a great job, a viable bank balance, a perfect relationship. But I do believe all of us grow up thinking ‘big things’ for ourselves.

Call them dreams.

Call them simply being better <or going farther> than our parents.

Call it hope for a good Life.

And no matter how we grow up I tend to believe all of us find that reality is very different than what we imagined or hoped. This is where we learn the concept of compromise. Learning to compromise is okay if it brings you back down to earth, but not okay if it means compromising how good you can be.

Somewhere in-between those two things is Life, or, “the game.” Yeah. The difficult part comes in trying to play the game.

What do I mean?

Well.

You take a job because you have to.

You take a job because it ‘gets you in.’

You say something like this … ‘doing this isn’t something I would have considered before … but I have to believe that I’m bettering my chances.’

Ah.

‘Bettering your chances.’

Playing the game.

Managing your hope.

I will say from personal experience that after what seems like a zillion psychological tests in interview processes and maybe more zillions of seemingly endless resume ‘revisions to customize to specific companies and perceived needs’ and managing hope after what may seem like an eternity of unsuccessful job submissions, I have figured out all that really matters is the core. Core as in who you are and telling people what they are gonna get.

But that’s me. I won’t play the game.

Ok. How about there are certain things in the game that I will not play.

Look. I do know that research shows that compromising early on <maybe when you first hit the job market or maybe simply as you enter adulthood out of teens> when hopes are in their most nascent and fragile form, they can easily be trampled upon with devastating consequences to our self-confidence and self-esteem.

Well. It takes on a mutated form in older adulthood.

It doesn’t attack the formative stages, it actually kills healthy esteem and confidence cells.

Maybe worse? It attacks your belief not in yourself, but in society and the structure you have prospered in up to this point.

My fear in today’s business world is that in seeking employment or even working within an organization we are constantly asking ourselves what we can do without and becoming masters in what I would call ‘psychological constructive compromise.’ Unfortunately, it is actually destructive compromise. It destroys how good you can be.

Maybe better said it destructs real expectations of yourself.

Real expectations, the ones colored with some Life experience which are not sky-high and tainted with any sense of entitlement, are being challenged intellectually, financially or emotionally as now being thought of out of reach.

Huh? Out of reach? Being who you are and being good at what you do?

That is crazy.

And therein lies how ‘playing the game’ is simply a destructive game and one which I am surprised businesses and other ‘game managers’ allow to be played.

Let me be specific <because this is what got me thinking about this>.

Customizing your resume as you apply for a job.

I know it sounds reasonable from a 40,000 foot perspective. But <and I will talk about odds later> most times we are customizing in ways that take a square peg of information and place it into a round hole of perceived need.

That’s playing the game.

Mostly because most employers are too lazy to see anything but ‘something that fits the round hole I have.’ And the prospective employee is simply thinking ‘once I get in I can be the fabulous spectacular square peg that I am.’

Simplistically you are playing the game to get in the game.

This is ludicrous. It looks ludicrous even as I type it.

Look. We all need to be taught to keep expectations in check. But in doing so we need to be sure … really sure … that our compromising isn’t simply a dismissal of our dreams to play the game. A dose of reality can be like a slap in the face. Uhm. Ok. Maybe more like an uppercut to the jaw. But sometimes you have to learn to take the punches.

And maybe give a couple back.

But you have to make some choices.

Hard choices.

No matter what anyone tells me I just cannot see how customizing your resume or ‘saying the right words’ or, well, whatever you are being told to do to get a job or get the dream actually increases the odds.

In fact I would suggest in the end it decreases the odds of getting what you really want <longer term>.

Well. The bottom line on anything to do with ‘odds’ is that the odds suck.

Bottom line.

The odds suck.

Why? Life is playing its game <even if a business or other people are trying to ‘game the system’> and you have to figure out which player you are truly playing against. I am not suggesting you should avoid considering anyone who is actually in the game. Just who is more important than another.

Why? Because you need to ask what is at stake in the real game’.

Because the one and only answer is you. Or what some people call ‘the authentic you’ <strip away the authentic bullshit and it just being true to yourself in a genuine way>.

——-

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen. “
Brené Brown

 ——–

The “authentic you”. I just call it ‘me.’ No fancying up with adjectives. You sometimes have to draw a line with regard to ‘me.’ And, yes, this line drawing comes with consequences.

But all line drawing does.

You just have to identify what is non negotiable, i.e., what are you not willing to compromise on? In other word, find the pieces of your life vision & your character … that you want beyond all certainty. These are non-negotiable features you are not prepared to give up for anything.

While I am certainly a dreamer type, or maybe it is that I love hope, I will admit that this exercise can incorporate some foundational basic life aspects. Things beyond ‘being passionate with what I do’ <which I actually believe is useless tripe> like being a loving mother or father or traveling regularly or checking something off on your adventurous things to do on your list of things to do.

That said.

Compromising in this type of thinking invariably comes down to what you don’t mind forsaking in return for having something else. And, in general, we suck at this type of assessment. We are typically to hopeful or ‘positive thinking’ in our assessment.

“If I take this job I can show them I actually deserve this other thing.’

Yeah. Well. It typically doesn’t work that way. The whole idea of negotiating or compromising on a dream or ‘how good you think you can be’ is a challenging reality. And it is even more challenging when you incorporate the concept that I strongly dislike … the term ‘be realistic.’

I am not overly materialistic so I can focus on other things <and everyone needs to think about that aspect>.

I have at least a thread of altruism so I am okay with pursuing some self desires <and everyone needs to think about that aspect>.

Therefore. It kind of seems to me when thinking about playing the game — why should I compromise being the best I can be when some people don’t even seem to be trying to be the best they can be <for themselves or for others>?

To be clear on being as good as you can be. It is not simply waking up every day, stretching, looking at yourself in the mirror <possibly with fist raised in the air> saying something like “I know I want to achieve adventure and fulfillment in everyday life.” Optimizing your potential takes work – hard relentless work.

My own vision for life is fairly clear. And I admit that it has changed and evolved over time. And I imagine that is quite similar to most people. I also admit that it seems to get clearer every day as I figure out what’s important to me.

I know that I challenge myself to be even better. Every day as a matter of fact.

Yup.

Every.

Single.

Day.

That’s because being better or the best you can be is a work-in-progress thing. As for compromising or ‘playing the game’? I know the type of organizations and people I want to be a part of and to surround myself with. I will not apologize for how I choose to survive.

“You never need to apologize for how you chose to survive.”
Clementine von Radics

Oh. And by survive … I don’t mean putting food on the table … I mean character. A lot of people will argue with me on this topic.

A LOT.

They will suggest <with some truth by the way> I am not being realistic. And you know what? They may be right. But it is the line I have drawn for myself.

I don’t want to hollow myself out in some empty job. And that is what empty jobs do — hollow the guts out of you. Strangle your soul and character bit by bit. I would rather starve my body than starve my character.

I would rather “scare the world … and be exactly who you say you are and tell the truth.”

The stunning realities of Life force everyone to do several things.

Everyone needs to learn the line they will draw.

Everyone needs to recognize where compromise is done and ‘me’ is defined.

Ponder.