==

“What followed then was what invariably follows in the wake of every tortured consciousness. From what it dreads or hates, yet knows or feels to be unescapable, it takes refuge in that which may be hoped for – or at least imagined.”

Theodore Dreiser

==

“The road back to hope, to a new sense of place, is through the common spaces of our dreams.”

Teresa Hines

==

Search “hope” on my blog and you will get 24 pieces with Hope in its title and 760 pieces with hope somewhere within the piece. I am an unabashed Hope supporter as a proclaimed “cynical optimist.” So when Michele Obama said “hope is making a comeback” I certainly agreed.

Hope never really goes away, it just gets smothered if not suffocated by “realist,” “pragmatic” and the narratives of darkness and despair. The world does everything it can to strip away the value of hope.

The true challenge to hope is that the hopeful are pointed to as the ‘strange ones’ with unrealistic thoughts. It can even be suggested they have impossible thoughts. That’s absurd. Society demands hope and demands the civility to interact with strangers without holding their strangeness, or hope, against them and without forcing them to surrender or their strangeness … or hope. In fact, a healthy society permits people to maintain the traits that have made them hopeful. This means a true community is one with the ability to live with differences let alone let everyone benefit from it.

Which leads me to suggest hope does not come easily and certainly, or rarely, under its own impetus.

Hope demands some negotiated common interests. Hope needs a community which inevitably creates a safe haven of shared worries, shared anxieties, and even some shared unhappiness if not shared cynicism or skepticism. I could even argue those things anchor a community so that a thriving community can build shared hope, shared progress and shared prosperity upon that foundation. Yeah. The road back to hope is through a common space of dreams.

Which leads me to suggest dreams pave the path for hope.

Pragmatic desires undermine hope for progress. What I mean by that is hope for progress is never a matter of evidence nor is it a matter of some tangible objective. It is usually a coalescing of dreams turned into action (or actions). That said. Nothing is easier than to join all the cynics and skeptics together around a question which can be settled, theoretically, empirically. The world does not work that way. It cannot. The entire concept of progress is strewn with uneven bricks of evidence. And even in their unevenness they can offer glimpses of what could be, and what can be. They offer glimpses of hope. In their imperfection they pave the way for Hope. Unfortunately, that unevenness can also suggest a lack of universalism. It can suggest someone can step forward and other cannot (or will not). They suggest someone’s dreams are possible and some others are impossible. That suggestion is wrong. Progress is more a matter of changing direction and rather than thinking of progress as directed to a particular goal we should think of progress as a hopscotch from an uncomfortable situation to a less constrained situation which permits dreams to find a more comfortable space. Universal progress is a vague, if not impossible, objective. And that is where hope gets screwed. The promise of progress is an easier objective; if not easier promise. Its transactional, its pragmatic, and its small. Progress is not finite, it’s not ‘from A to B’, it’s not a straight line. That said. A symptom of lack of progress is a feeling of trauma, an infection, a pain. A symptom of lack of progress is a waning Hope.

Which leads me to Hope demands perspectives on, and from, many things.

Remember, hope is neither linear or transactional. This is important because when in a finite game, where the end is the objective, it is almost impossible to keep broad perspective or see beyond “that is not possible.” Hope demands one embrace at least some aspect of ‘anything is possible.’ As I have said before, moving from impossible to possible is progress. We should make it a vision. A mission. A logic. A technology of the mind. A flag. A war cry. A challenge. A hope. A strength. A bond. A promise. A map. A beginning. A talisman. A tattoo as something you truly believe in something. Anything is possible is actually about progress, not some specific objective or outcome. Anything is possible is at the soul of Hope. And it is making a comeback. Ponder.

=============

But resounding with the truth of things prophesied,

But of things with truth resounds

Но    вещей    правдою  звучат

No v’eshchej   pravdoju   zvuchat

Its lips are covered with blood!

Lips covered with blood

Уста, запекшиеся  кровью!

Usta, zap’vekshi’esa krovju!

——

Ophelia’s Song: Alexander Bok

=================

“Beyond a doubt truth bears the same relation to falsehood as light to darkness.”

–

Leonardo da Vinci

=================

59squared.

3,481.

3481squared.

12,117,361.

12,117,361squared.

1.5 billion.

That’s three degrees and I am at almost 1/5^th of the entire world. Yeah.  The numbers are really not that neat, but you get the point. With a single event, a single death, one person can set off a chain of events that will affect hundreds of thousands, millions and even billions of people.

Some people call this “6 degrees of separation” <although I showed it to you as only 3>. I didn’t make up the squared concept. In some form or fashion it reflects the truth of the internet of things and connectedness and it shows the likelihood that the majority of us have some connection to any event in which 5, 59 or 559 people are part of.

I say this because it makes a lot of things, well, personal.  The main point here is that a person now has access and is aware of more people <true friends as well as web based friends> and can have more frequent communication due to the ‘digital revolution’.

Yet.

Social media is simply the fact that the traditional benefits of an acquaintance network <personal or professional> and friendships can be more expansively realized than before <it amplifies>. This means that truth resounds more quickly & clearly & bluntly than ever before. The other truth is that our own experiences, and Life, can then be at the mercy of crowds of friends & acquaintances — crowds providing unsolicited input & feedback & experiences all influencing hordes of additional people’s thoughts on a daily basis. This means whether you are present in one place, or not, you can be impacted in the present place you stand. You are a nomad in which the world remains your home.

Our world is now one large network consisting of two basic things – people and connections. And while many times we look at this as some forced or constructed network <Facebook, twitter, etc. provides hubs and constructs> the reality is that most people networks & connections are organically constructed. So while we like to draw out nice symmetrical shapes to define how connections work and networks are constructed the reality is that networks are more often not symmetrical.

The unique patterns in the connections determine the shapes. We reach out in asymmetrical ways to places, events and thoughts and bring them near in seconds. In addition the ties between the connections can be complicated – spanning from intense or passive.

In the business world we try to characterize networks and connections in a variety of ways. The trouble is that people are not that orderly and certainly not stagnant and they actively reshape their connections, interests and networks all the time.

But I am not here to discuss how the internet can, or cannot, affect personal relationships or a sense of individual isolation but rather this is a thought on how the internet can make things, and Life … well … smaller.

On most days the ‘quasi-truth’ that resounds in the echo chambers of what we talk about and ‘think we know’ is that the internet is isolating us … disconnects us from reality and social interaction.

So … is it possible that the internet increases connection and decreases connection at exactly the same time? Yup. The Internet connects and it isolates.

The usual assumption that most of us make about our computing and communication environment is that we are ‘always’ connected. Indeed, most of us are ‘nomads’ when it comes to computing and communications. We live in a disconnected world much of the time as we travel between our office, home, airport, hotel, car, coffee shop, bedroom, etc. We now recognize that access to computing and communications is necessary not only from one’s `home base’, but also while one is in transit and/or when one reaches one’s destination.

It is an anytime, anywhere access world. It is also, paradoxically, a ‘be anywhere at any time’ world.

That is the connected aspect which creates the whole disconnected aspect.

Well. Let’s just say we feel slightly disconnected in a connected way, of course, until something happens that tightens all the lines of connection.

It is within moments like that where the supposed 6 degrees of separation becomes less degrees and more links all of a sudden the 59squared aspect of connectedness occurs.

The world gets smaller … in fact … really fucking small.

We are brought together and something that happens to 5 people, maybe 59 people, or even 559 people, becomes an experience within our own grasp.

Which brings me back to truth and resounding.

The majority of our social networking constructs today are on the internet <or have a foundation on the internet>. Simplistically, we, the people, are connecting via the internet. What this means is that the internet muffles or amplifies our voices, events and truth <as well as lies unfortunately>.

What this means is that … well … an event, a moment, a death, an injury, resounds … resounds as in 59squared.

What THAT means is we have to face a truth whether we want to or not. Now. At that point we have a choice – see what we face or don’t see what we face. And if we refuse to face it we will remain disconnectedly connected in our little asymmetrical networks of friends & acquaintances.

That was a sad sentence to type.

At this point, my conclusion, I imagine it may be relevant to remind everyone of 59squared and the fact that I can do one thing, one right thing … or one wrong thing … and it will resound.

Choose your ‘one thing’ wisely.

==

“And sometimes, against all odds, against all logic, we hope.”

==

It’s not that people should confuse fantasy and reality, but reality has depths and dimensions that go far beyond what can be seen. And it is within the depths of the less than obvious, the unforeseen, and the invisible within which the illogical and the improbable resides. There resides hope.

While, technically, hope is a simple definition, realistically hope spans a spectrum. In my words there would be, on one end of the spectrum, the more heinous version bookend of ‘offering a fantastical unrealistic thought’ all the way over to the other bookend of ‘grasping for some glimmer of a semi-impossible reality.” And then everything in between. Hope has many dimensions and within any and all dimensions even a sliver of hope has an exponential value beyond its mere size. It is quite possible that is where hope becomes a little dangerous – that exponential value beyond its actual size. Even with a glimmer, hope can shine so bright it can blind you to the relentless onslaught of truths and realities which can make that hope false. Now, false hope is maybe even slightly more dangerous <if anything could be more dangerous than be blinded by reality> in two ways:

• Contrary to belief the most dangerous false hope is not the one which is complete fantasy; it is the type that actually has some reality embedded.

Yeah.

False hope is not always some fantasy.

Yeah.

False hope is not always something with “no knowable chance of coming to fruition.”

Yeah.

Someone who purposefully propagates a true fantasy, something unrealistic, isn’t false hope, it is propagating a lie. And exploiting a lie is a heinous act <but that is NOT false hope>.

But, to be clear false hope can be propagated not as some false promise or lie, but rather in a weird ‘well intended way.’ Say, for example, someone has been elevated to a position who is unqualified and untested, but has some tested competency. They sit down at their new desk with all the intentions to succeed and all the words to suggest everyone should believe they will figure it out and succeed. Well. Let’s say they have strong well intended hope that they will do the job and deliver what they promise. This is a trickier version of false hope. It is propagated from someone who quite possibly has some false beliefs with regard to their own capabilities, but true belief in a good objective.

• False hope is more likely to blind you on the important little shit than the meaningless bigger shit.

False hope inevitably drives someone to focus on the bigger more audacious, and less likely, objective. This translates into the fact that same someone is more likely to overlook the smaller more important shit that would actually have increased the odds of attaining the hopeful objective. How does that most often happen? You are more likely to make some smaller more impactful poor choices and decisions hanging on to the sliver of false hope like it is a security blanket from the dangers of the reality you know must be out there. By the way. That is the main difference between real hope and false hope – in the nuts & bolts aspects. Real hope, which truly has aspects of reality embedded within, actually permits you to navigate reality’s obstacles as you pursue the real hope of something. Real hope does not blind, it actually opens your eyes.

Look. In the end. My point is hope is hope. And unless someone is lying just to get everyone’s unrealistic hopes up – any hope is better than no hope. It is the power to allow us to do things beyond logic and the odds. To be clear, all actions should be determined by reason, logic, and practicality within a construct of strategic hope. That is the main Hope equation.  But hope is, well, hope. And it is hope for a reason. You want something better and at the same time you are not omniscient nor a future prognosticator therefore any and all hope is fraught with some potential falseness and some potential truth. That said. Hope, in and of itself, is and has always been an abstract concept and fortune, luck, hard work and preparation can guide someone toward hope or away from hope.  Hope is never, and I mean NEVER, representative of certainty. Therefore, to accept any hope, you have to accept the existence of possibilities.

But. Hope helps people believe they can overcome any and all obstacles and get shit done. Anyway. I read somewhere that the average person will meet 10,000 different people in their lifetime – 10,000 people with their own hopes waiting to be inspired by your hopes. And, maybe in that point, if that is what makes someone get out of bed in the morning and go out and try to do something good or even just try, well, that’s pretty powerful. Ponder.

——————-

Don’t bring up the past of a person who is trying to improve their future

Please, do not stop people from reaching a good place in life because of things they cannot take back. It is so painful.

—-

via poesy

===========

When I saw this posted on a tumblr site it certainly made me think about how often we remind people of their past as a comparison to the good place they may be at today.

For some reason we must feel like the comparison makes the achievement more significant.

For some reason we must feel like we have to show a ‘from there to here’ journey in order to emphasize how far we believe someone has come.

For some reason we must feel like … well … talking about the past in order to emphasize something in the present.

But why?

The person certainly knows all this already.

The person most likely has no desire to revisit the past.

The person certainly reflects on the energy and commitment it took to where they are today.

I am sure we do it with the best intentions. But maybe those intentions are misguided.

I never really thought much about this until I read the opening thought and now I cannot stop thinking about it.

“Look how far you’ve come”

“Remember when you did <insert something>?

Wow.

Realistically, those are pretty shitty things to say to someone who has already put in the work, the effort, the mental fortitude to get to the good place they are in the here & now.

Why can’t we just enjoy the present as it is?

Why can’t we just celebrate what exists in the here & now?

Why can’t we just be happy with the person they are today without having to reflect on who they may have been?

The more I think about this the crappier it sounds.

I know I do it.

I know I often feel like offering perspective is an easy way to showcase the extent of some change I see.

I know I do so with good intentions.

And maybe that is a good and effective thing to do … maybe 80% of the time. Okay. Maybe 90% of the time.

But maybe that means 10% of the time I, and we, should ignore perspective and simply highlight the beauty of what is. And, frankly, accept that what is has value in and of itself.

I say that because a person who is trying to improve their future wants to feel joy and not pain. Or maybe better said … doesn’t need to be reminded of pain to feel joy.

So. Here is a thought.

The next time you run into someone you know is moving on to something better and is working really hard to improve their future treat the moment, the interaction, as a new place you have never visited before and explore it with the wonder of exploration and discovery.

===========

“Each moment is a place you’ve never been.”

Mark Strand

====

If you do this maybe you not only ignore the past but also will not confuse the moment with those silly semi-positive support-like platitudes like “keep going” or “the future you desire is now within your grasp.”

And maybe you help them reach a good place by simply enjoying the moment and enjoying who and what they are in that time and place.

All I know for sure is that having seen the opening quote and taking some time to think about it I will interact with someone who is trying to improve their future a little differently from this point on.

And I will certainly think long and hard before I bring up the past because, well, about the only thing it really does is bring up things left behind. I should assume if it has been left behind it is no longer needed.

=====

“Because if there’s one thing I learned from remaking my entire life, it’s this: we are strong as fuck, we can change our stories, and we can do hard things.”

Nicole Antoinette

====

So. When I first started writing my blog in 2009 I read a variety of other blogs just to get a sense of what is good writing, good storytelling and, well, what was good. In my heart of hearts I knew what I wanted to write and how I wanted to write, but over the years I had so much of the “here is what you need to do & how to do it” shit pounded into my head that I was second guessing myself.

Time and time again I kept finding myself reading blogs that were unfiltered well written thoughts and Life episodes. They tended to be stream of consciousness and tended to make you laugh, cry, shake your head, sigh and, most importantly, think.

They were real, not ‘authentic’, just real. Real glimpses of how real people think about shit (whether it be Life or business).

Interestingly, two roommates in the same city I lived in at that time <although I never met either of them> wrote separate outstanding blogs – Jamie Varon with A Life in Translation and Nicole Antoinette with Nicole is Better – which set me on the path of how I write enlightened conflict.

Be Real. Tell the Truth <as it is really seen>.

Share it all with thoughtfulness and with some real-life attitude.

I say all that because I opened with a slightly edited quote from Nicole to say: Life rarely goes the way we plan it.

Shit. Life rarely goes exactly the way we want it <even without specific plans>.

That is neither good nor bad; it just is. Yet, in its neither goodness, nor badness, it is unsettling. Sometimes uncomfortable. Like squirming in a hard plastic chair waiting to hear what the test results are uncomfortable.

Whether you take life by the horns and run with it or wait and seek specific opportunities at some point you will find yourself on that uncomfortable chair. And on that chair you will assess who you are, where you are and what you are.

Uh oh. And then, sometimes, that chair seems even more uncomfortable.

You sit there and think: “WTF. How did I get in this chair?” And not only do you want to get up off that chair, but you want to get out of the fucking room. Shit. You may even want to remake the entire house you live in.

And you think:

I am not a builder … how do I build a new home?

I am not an adventurer … how do I go somewhere I haven’t seen before?

I am not sure where I want to go just that I don’t want to be here … how do I choose a direction?

The answer?

We are strong as fuck.

We can change our stories.

We can do hard things.

Every one of us gets to a place in Life where we look around and go WTF.

What happened? How the hell do I get out of here?

Now. Some of these places are a little deeper in hell than others, but, suffice it to say, they all reside in hell. And you want to get out.

So, not to be flippant: you move. You get up & go. You get up & do.

You are strong as fuck.

You can change your story.

You can do hard things.

The truth is we face Life with strength or, well, you lose in Life. Most of us decide to face the hard shit because we have this inner true strength as described by philosopher Immanuel Kant: “that even small decisions should be made as though we were deciding for all humanity, not just for our paltry selves.”

In other words we realize we can change our story because the bigger story is Life and not our ‘paltry self’ (which is actually just representative of some words on the larger pages of Life). That doesn’t mean you feel any less lost or any more sure of where to go or what exactly to do next; it just means you have the strength to get up & go and do the hard things.

———–

“To feel lost is an indication that you want more out of your life.”

Jamie Varon

————

Now (part 1). Part of what I am discussing is not really change, in my mind it is ’emergence’ or simply ‘becoming.’ What I mean by this is that you aren’t really changing at all but rather digging deep within and just uncovering & discovering what has been there all the time.

Now (part 2). Now part 1 is important because part of what I am discussing about this WTF moment is a warped version of existentialism. It is the moment you face up to where you are in Life and make a decision: a decision to be less self-deceiving, more decisive, more committed, and more willing to take on responsibility for the world you exist within.

A philosopher named Martin Heidegger suggested the reason why it takes “the moment in which you make that decision” to make this personal decision to “do what needs to be done to address where we are in Life”, rather than just doing it pretty much all the time, is because we have a nasty habit of mentally creating this obstacle called das Man <translated as “the they”>. Some nebulous “they” who suggests “they say it is a waste of time” or “they say it is impractical” or “they say the opportunity has passed by.” When pressed we cannot really exactly identify who this “they” is but we know “they” is everywhere and circumvents our personal decision making power. What ‘das man’ suggests is that we convince ourselves we are not actually free to make the decision and do what needs to be done.

“They” constrict the likelihood of success.

“They” gives us the excuse to not admit we are actually free to do something.

“They” will obstruct our change and edit our story.

“They” suggest this is change, and change is bad, because “they” can’t see what already resides within you.

To be clear.

We all indulge in this thought process.

In fact. We indulge in this thought process the majority of the time in our lives.

That is, of course, until you reach a moment. A WTF clarity moment. And in that moment you have a choice:

free to believe you are not strong enough, you cannot change your story, you cannot do the hard, or

free to believe you are strong as fuck, you can change your story and you can do the hard things.

That is the choice.

Let me end where I began. With Nicole’s quote.

When you hit that moment. Just get it in your head the truest of true Life truths:

You are strong as fuck.

You can change your story.

You can do the hard shit.

Anyway.

Life rarely goes the way we want it to go, let alone goes the way we plan it, but we are more than capable enough of dealing with all the twists & turns. In fact. When faced with the WTF moment, we have enough to do the hard stuff to change our story, discover what is actually within that “they” may have suggested we didn’t really have and, well, we are strong as fuck and can do the hard shit. So we just do it. Ponder.

=====

 “I finished by saying that it struck me that all the ethical systems I was discussing were after the fact.

That is, that people act as they are disposed to, but they like to feel afterwards that they were right and so they invent systems that approve of their dispositions.”

alexei panshin

============ 

“Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever.”

Richelle E. Goodrich

====

This is about business and also about “the post-Christmas let down”.

What they have in common is what someone once called “happiness hangovers.” I imagine any of us in the business world have felt this after a big meeting or some big trade show or some big thing we have prepared for and had some element of ‘showtime.’

That’s the same kind of funk we fall into after Christmas.

There are a couple of reasons this happens. One scientific and one mental.

Science.

The dopamine let down. Scientifically we juice ourselves up with dopamine in order to ‘meet the moment.’ Think of this as the feeling you get every time the email notification on your phone goes of — every 15 seconds for almost 12 hours straight. Each ‘email has arrived’ notification sends a quick dose of dopamine to the brain, we get jolted <love the high> and then immediately receive another. When we are focused on this specific goal we get the rush of dopamine flowing through our brain and when the goal is achieved your body naturally reduces the levels of dopamine.

The body rebalances itself. The dopamine high goes from high … to low. Then finally normal <assuming there is something normal>.

Bottom line result? We feel bummed. We feel drained. This is the science version of ‘let down.’

Mental.

The positive feelings let down. According to psychologist Gary Stollak, psychology professor, most people have a “happiness set point.” Let’s call that a “5” on the self happiness meter.

Therefore when we get up for something, and it concludes satisfactorily, we rise to a high. Our happiness meter shifts up to 10 <maybe 11 if you are a Spinal Tap fan>.

Unfortunately, your happiness meter balances out. That is partially why your happiest highs are often followed by depressed lows. The worst part of this aspect is what we fill the empty space , which happiness used to hang out in, with doubts, questions, regrets, what ifs, whatever else we could add in that diminished the true happiness and high.

Bottom line result? We go high, we go low and, hopefully, normalize.

Regardless. Suffice it to say, post Christmas, post meeting, post whatever, we are dealing with “it’s over.”

So this year when you sit back with the realization that Christmas is over just take a moment and think about how you (and all of us) deal with the happiness hangover.

The aftermath is so anti-climactic versus the moment itself we tend to fill the space with stuff associated with the event trying to drag it out for as long as we can.

Christmas?

Leave the tree up.

Leave the lights up.

Maybe still play the music.

Business?

Retell the highlight moments.

Replay portions in meetings.

Gather to relive aspects.

As mentioned upfront in this piece, we continuously try to invent things that approve of their dispositions.

We hate to let it go even though our body is telling us we should.

And maybe that is what hurts us the most. Our bodies have left it behind and yet we continue to try and stuff our body & minds with the trappings of “what was” (or, worse, try and make up for how expectations where not met).

We all do it.

And most of us do it unconsciously.

Is it really bad for us to do it?

Well. Research has linked the let-down of perceived stress with an increase in flare-ups of pain and other ailments. One study found that people experience more panic attacks on weekends, and a 2015 study from Taiwan found that holidays and Sundays have more emergency room admissions for peptic ulcers than weekdays do. A 2014 study showed migraine sufferers, in times of stress, didn’t impact migraine occurrence, but a decline in their perceived stress from one evening entry to the next entry was associated with increased migraine onset over the following six to 18 hours <they called this a “let-down headache”>

……………….. Christmas is over …….

Well.

All that said.

The day after Christmas, Christmas is done, but still not completely gone. And just as we do with big work events … we are dealing with the ‘let down effect.’ And while we hang on relentlessly to the trappings even though the event is done and gone at least now you know there are real scientific and psychological reasons behind we are so silly.

Happy Happiness Hangover.

——-

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others.

Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that? “

Bob Hope

——————–

“Gotta take the time to search the mind.”

Traci Spencer

————-

Children laugh

Children cry

They’re the future of our time

Will they hold us to blame

For all the things we’ve turned away

I don’t like what I see now

I don’t like where we’re going

I don’t like it, no

You and I, we’re getting older now

You and I, who will show them

If we don’t show them how

I want to know is it true

Is there a house of hope for me and you

I want to know is it true

Is there a house of hope for me and you.

<House of Hope>

Song by Toni Childs

——————————-

 Ok. I admit. I am most likely using Christmas as an excuse to highlight two songs with great messages about vision & hope.

I would suggest, in general, the Christmas gift we end up finding the most value in is hope.

It is a fairly simple idea to suggest we all need hope.

I tend to believe all of us understand a hopeless existence just isn’t worth living. Or maybe I could say that the moment people can’t see Hope, life becomes dangerously hollow.

I think all of us humans <schmucks too> instinctively know this so we spend at least some portions of our lives searching for hope.

However, sometimes we settle for something a little short of hope.

What do I mean?

Well.

With a legitimate desire to feel good about where we’re headed, we tend to mistake positive thinking for genuine hope.

And this year not only did it seem to be more difficult to think positively, but hope seems to be challenged by a world that may appear to be in flux to many people.

Now.

Even if it is not in flux, we do perceive it to be, so therefore the natural reflex is to, well, cocoon our hope.

What I mean by that is we begin to worry a little more on “I” than “we.”

We focus hope a little more on self rather than selfless.

Now.

This doesn’t mean we have suddenly become selfish or that we do not care about others, this is more simply ‘survival mode.’ In that I can’t care as much about others until I know that I have been cared for enough that I feel I am in an okay position & place.

I say that because Hope’s biggest challenge in the future is going to be from a larger world view. With everyone hunkering down avoiding the ‘crazy world’, the world may be put on strict Hope diet.

That’s okay.

We will figure it out.

But for today, maybe just around this Christmas, ponder a world view of Hope.

Take the time to search the mind, “is there a house of hope for me and you?”

Because I believe that if you take a moment and touch it and feel it and sense it, when the future occasion should arise – when you are in a position to care – that world view Hope will touch the spark that resides within and the world Hope will light on fire.

Music is always a great reminder of things that matter and finding music to share hopeful messages is like putting a gift to music.

I could share Christmas music & songs, but instead I am going to share hopeful songs. These are two older songs that are nice to listen to and nice t learn the words to.

Here is my Christmas music gift for this year:

——–

Song: House of Hope

Toni Childs

bonus …

House of Hope Live <she sounds exactly like she does in the recorded version>:

The second song is by Traci Spencer and called This House. The video is horribly early 90’s video making at its worst, but the message is so good you should ignore the video and listen to the words.

——

Song: This House

Traci Spencer

——————–

Well. There you go. Gotta take the time to search the mind … Is there a house of hope for me and you ?

Search your mind.

There is always a house of hope for you & I.

Sometimes, and some days, you just have to look a little harder to see it.

===

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

====

Jitters

plural noun​ /ˈdʒɪt̬·ərz/

​<Cambridge Dictionary>

a feeling of being nervous that you experience before something important happens:

I always get the jitters the morning before an exam.

=====

“I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.“

Fred Rogers

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Christmas Eve and pre-Christmas jitters.

This is different than anticipation or expectations or … well … anything, but the … uhm … jitters.

Ok.

Why jitters?

It all revolves around receiving and giving. And this changes as we get older.

In youth the jitters revolve around the receiving.

As we age the jitters shift to giving.

And while years come and go, the jitters stay year in and year out. And maybe that is what makes this version of jitters a little unique.

Experience doesn’t matter.

No matter how many Christmases you have endured, enjoyed or embraced, no matter how familiar the ritual becomes and how consistent the day & event unfolds, none seem to ever change the ‘jitter’ aspect.

Now. I can’t speak to the receiving jitters anymore because I have left youth far behind.

But as for the giving?

Well. You don’t even have to invested gobs of time pondering the perfect gift nor does it matter that you know what someone wants … the moment before the moment … creates … well … at least a moment of jitters.

Despite the fact most of us know we suck at giving gifts , we want to get it right. We want to maybe not hit the nail on the head gift wise, but we at least want to not be so far off base that we disappoint on the one day of the year where you think disappointment just shouldn’t show up.

Look.

I like reading how many people write about Christmas.

I like reading how many people seem to reach into the true spirit of Christmas and reflect upon the goods & the bads <but, most typically, the goods>.

I like reading how many people enjoy the glitz & glitter & trappings and, yet, for the most part enjoy the underpinnings and the ‘invisible’ or ‘less than visible’ things that truly make up Christmas.

And maybe it is that last point why so many of us have pre-Christmas jitters. For one moment, the moment a gift is picked up, shaken, and opened, you are quite possibly more visible than you have ever been and even more visible than any glitz & glitter & trappings surrounding you.

Its not that most of us want to be invisible, but being starkly visible — whether we are ready or not or want it or not — can be a little daunting.

Hence the jitters.

In the end.

Gifts don’t really matter.

Shit. We all pretty much know that. Even bad gifts given with good intentions are good gifts.

And we all pretty much know that Christmas is more found in the hearts & souls of all < yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus> rather than in some poorly wrapped, are impeccably wrapped, gift.

But all that said.

Pre-Christmas jitters.

I assume 99% of us have them. Even with all that I shared with regard to what I tend to believe all of us know about Christmas.

And you know what?

The jitters are part and parcel to a good Christmas day.

Why?

It shows you care.

You care about Christmas and you care that someone cares about what you have given.

Caring … is … well … good.

Merry Christmas and I hope your jitters are merry.

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“For it is in giving that we receive.”

Francis of Assisi

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“The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its
value.”

Charles Dudley Warner

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Well. This is about gift giving. As noted in this post, most of us suck at giving Christmas gifts. <Me & Christmas gift Giving>

Sure.

On occasion we get lucky and give that one spectacular gift that make someone’s eyes light up and you know you have knocked it out of the park. But more often than not we fall back on dollars & cents assessing “how much did you get” or making ourselves feel better by “how much we gave.”

I tend to believe we fall back on that because on that day and in that moment we couldn’t really figure out what the ‘right gift’ really was to give and just try and overcome it with volume.

I have given Christmas gifts spanning from $5 to $50 to $500 only to have found that if you give the right gift, the perfect gift for the person and the moment in time, the dollar value is irrelevant.

I have given a hand written poem in a well-chosen Christmas card on a year when I didn’t have any money and given something expensive on a year where I had the budget to send more. What I have found is that both have created the joy of giving … & the joy receiving … and created equal value despite the dollar outlay.

It took me years to find ‘right gifts’ for my sister and my mother — neither of which I know particularly well <tickets to games for my sister’s favorite baseball team and a huge spring bouquet of flowers for my mother>.

All this rambling leads me to share the two gifts … my favorite gift stories … which remind us all of the power of the ‘right gift’ at Christmas.

The first is an odd one, but for an amateur writer, like I, it has within it all the aspects a writer could only dream of being able to gift upon someone … “yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” letter from the editor –Is There A Santa Claus?
Editorial Page, New York Sun, September 21, 1897

This one may seem odd as a gift, but I put it in the gift category in that I struggle to find a better articulation of “belief in something good” which suggests some of the best things are not tangible … but in the heart & soul.

What a gift this letter from the editor is … in fact … what a gift to any and all … not just children.

The second is a story I never tire of … the gift that gave us To Kill a Mockingbird.

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This story was published in the December 1961 McCall’s magazine – titled Christmas To Me.

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There was an envelope on the tree, addressed to me. I opened it and read: “You have one year off from your job to write whatever you please. Merry Christmas.”

“What does this mean?” I asked.

“What it says,” I was told.

They assured me that it was not some sort of joke. They’d had a good year, they said. They’d saved some money and thought it was high time they did something about me.

“What do you mean, do something about me?”

To tell the truth – if I really wanted to know – they thought I had a great talent, and…

“What makes you think that?”

It was plain to anyone who knew me, they said, if anyone would stop to look.

They wanted to show their faith in me the best way they knew how. Whether I ever sold a line was immaterial. They wanted to give me a full, fair chance to learn my craft, free from the harassments of a regular job. Would I accept their gift? There were no strings at all. Please accept, with their love.

It took some time to find my voice. When I did, I asked if they were out of their minds. What made them think anything would come of this? They didn’t have that kind of money to throw away. A year was a long time. What if the children came down with something horrible? As objection crowded upon objection, each was overruled. “We’re all young,” they said. “We can cope with whatever happens. If disaster strikes, you can always find a job of some kind. OK, consider it a loan, if you wish. We just want you to accept. Just permit us to believe in you. You must.”

“It’s a fantastic gamble,” I murmured. “It’s such a great risk.”

My friend looked around his living room, at his boys, half buried under a pile of bright Christmas wrapping paper. His eyes sparkled as they met his wife’s, and they exchanged a glance of what seemed to me insufferable smugness. Then he looked at me and said softly; “No, honey. It’s not a risk. It’s a sure thing.”

Outside, snow was falling, an odd event for a New York Christmas. I went to the window, stunned by the day’s miracle. Christmas trees blurred softly across the street, and firelight made the children’s shadows dance on the wall beside me. A full, fair chance for a new life. Not given me by an act of generosity, but by an act of love. Our faith in you was really all I had heard them say. I would do my best not to fail them. Snow still fell on the pavement below. Brownstone roofs gradually whitened. Lights in distant skyscrapers shone with yellow symbols of a road’s lonely end, and as I stood at the window, looking at the lights and the snow, the ache of an old memory left me for ever.

• Harper Lee went on to write Go Set A Watchman and To Kill A Mockingbird.

Well.

I share these gifts for one of my favorite days of the year Christmas just to remind everyone that in a world that far too often measures success & results off of dollars & cents & some number … sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is … well … anything but dollars & cents.

It is hope, belief, optimism and trust … in someone.

I can’t guarantee much to anyone most of the time but on this I feel I can give a 100% guarantee.

I wrote this in my 2014 Christmas post:

I think many people may treat the event & time as a gift giving occasion or a time to gather or even a time to reflect … but I am beginning to think Christmas offers a glimmer of ‘what could be’ more than anything else. Sometimes it may simply be a small glimmer but it is …well … a glimmer.

A small piece of hope for the future.

A small spotlight on when hope appeared in the past year or so.

I tend to think as we get older our lists get smaller because we get closer to the one thing that really matters. This also means that the closer you get to that one thing the less important all the other things become.

And maybe I was partially right … hope is a gift with an inestimable value.

But other things like believing in someone, optimism that someone can be the better version of who they want to be and … well … simply ‘trust’ also have inestimable value to someone in need of this gift.

Anyway.

Here is my 100% Christmas gift guarantee.

If you give someone something on Christmas day, something that brings forth hope, belief in oneself, optimism in what could be and/or trust in that person, … well, it could have cost $5 … $50 … or $500 … and it will not matter — its value is infinite.

Ponder.

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Alice: I simply must get through!

Doorknob: Sorry, you’re much too big. Simply impassible.

Alice: You mean impossible?

Doorknob: No, impassible. Nothing is impossible.

Alice in Wonderland

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Impassible versus impossible.

There is kind of a life lesson in that challenge.

Physically some things are just not possible as an individual.

I could never have become an NBA (or even a college) basketball player. There is no chance I would have ever threatened Usain Bolt in a race.

Frankly there are some things in life that take some physical talent to achieve.

Even some odd things that can impact your Life <and career>.

A great orator has the gift, the art of speech, within which gives them a natural <rather than learn through the science from without> ability to articulate things well..

Some people cannot travel and function well. They are just not physically capable of fulfilling some roles involving lots of travel.

Sure.

To some degree you can overcome some physical limits, but in general you won’t be able to overcome another who has the true innate natural ability and who is possibly physically more adept or able to meet the ‘whatever’ that makes that opportunity “passible.” Sometimes the issue is just too big and is, once again, impassible.

Of course, there are always exceptions.

Hence the ‘nothing is impossible.’ But I would be remiss if I didn’t point out they are exceptions; not the rule.

Anyhoo. This is a marvelous moment with Alice. And the fact it is given by the metaphorical doorknob is genius.

Life offers you a shitload of doors. And I can promise you several things about these Life doors:

–      They will be closed when you first see them.

That’s just the way Life works.

Some are locked, some are unlocked, some are small and some are big.

Heck. Some are hidden and some are painted bright red <so you do not miss them>. But they will all be closed initially and you will have to reach out and take the doorknob. It may talk to you and it may not. But you gotta open the door on your own to decide if it is passable or impassable.

–       Each door when you open it has a door jamb and it will give you the opportunity to trip over it; even if the door itself is wide open.

Well. Life rarely makes even open doors easy. Keep your eyes open, head high, footsteps confident and you have a chance. Let me repeat: a chance (not a guarantee).

–       There are a shitload of doors.

Life will not be frugal with regard to showing you doors. In fact, in a twist of semi-cruel intent, it will offer you more doors than you will know what to do with. That means with all these doors available you need to recognize the fact that the doors in life will all represent multiple challenges and each door may not be right for you.

So maybe if you face each one by simply deciding first ‘is it passible’ and second ‘is it possible’ you will choose the best doors to pass through in your own life.

That’s all I really know about doors that Life offers you.

Impassible or Impossible.

Outstanding thought to keep in mind as you walk thru Life.

Ponder.