Enlightened Conflict

for the love of the game

June 18th, 2013

Well.

I haven’t written any enlightening sports news for a while and decided because the ‘old’ San Antonio Spurs take the court for game 6 of the NBA finals … as well as I just watched the absolutely horrendous baseball movie, For the Love of the Game, <which I watch over and over again regardless of its badness>.

Therefore this post is dedicated to the movie and … well … some thoughts on the love of the game and older athletes.

And by ‘the game’ I mean sports in general.

I love sports. Yes. Love. And while I love sports as a game … I also love it as a microcosm of Life. Sports, and it’s athletes, if you pay attention … can be reflective on some really important things in Life.

Plus. I am allowed to be reflective as I am an old guy who loves sports.

Now.

This is not going to be one of those painful nostalgic pieces discussing ‘what happened to the good ole days in sports’ but rather this is going to be a nod to the old guys in sports and some appreciation.

Here is the main thought in a nutshell.

Invincibility versus appreciation. Invincibility in the moment versus appreciation of the moment.

Young athletes play the game as if they are invincible … and treat themselves as invincible within the moment.

Older athletes play the game with appreciation … and treat ‘the moment’ with appreciation.

I imagine I could also write about this same philosophical distinction in the workplace but I will stick with sports because … for some reason … we have a slew of spectacular older athletes who we should appreciate.

Let me begin with some big names.

David Beckham, Kobe and Ray Lewis are perfect examples of a portion of what I believe is spectacular about the great older athletes.

All three are, or were, spectacular in their respective sport … but I mention them because they were all punks <or punkish> with a swagger of invincibility in youth. There was no doubt they loved the game they played … and respected it even in their youth … and have grown into a wonderful sense of maturity <within an ongoing fire of competitiveness>.

I am not sure I could have ever imagined these three becoming ambassadors for their respective games as I watched their spectacular talent blossom as they began their careers.

They all played with a brilliant invincibility.

They have all matured with appreciation.

And they all certainly have mastered an appreciation of the moment.

Okay. That said.

Some thoughts on invincibility & appreciation and sports.

for the love of the game <the movie>

It is a godawful movie with a spectacular movie hidden within it.

Put me in an edit suite with the original movie and I bet I could walk out with one of the best sports movies of all time <at maybe half the length of the original>.

Kevin Costner is perfectly cast as the aging pitcher and the premise of the last game is also perfect. It’s all the crap in between. Anyone who has played sports, particularly baseball, would love this movie if it had just focused on when a great athlete in their last days sparkles one last time. It is magical. It is why we love sports.

Because it captures present greatness and memories of greatness all at once.

Because it captures the true essence of an older athlete’s appreciation of the moment and the game.

My only advice? Just go to the bathroom a lot <during the crappy moments> and you will love this movie.

which reminds me … 1967 and today

In 1967 Carl Yastremski won baseball’s last triple crown.

I would like to now point out that it now 45 years later. And Miguel Cabrera did it <last season>. Oh. And he is still putting up amazing numbers this season and could very well get close to winning a second.

From 1920 to 1967, there were eleven Triple Crown winners in baseball, and a whole bunch of famous near misses.

In 1949, Ted Williams’ .343 average was just the tiniest bit behind George Kell’s .343 average, those percentage points costing him a third Triple Crown.

In 1948, Stan Musial finished just one home run shy of a Triple Crown.

Some thoughts on how tough it is to do what Cabrera did <and I am not sure has been truly appreciated>:

- The average league-leading batting average since 1968: .348

- The average league-leading home run title since 1968: 44

- The average league-leading RBI total since 1968: 129

So … how many players from 1920 to 1968 put up what you might call an “average Triple Crown season?” Fourteen.

Babe Ruth put up six of them, Jimmie Foxx put up three, Lou Gehrig put up three, Mickey Mantle and Hack Wilson put up one each <source: Joe Posnanski – sports on earth>.

Cabrera is a 30 year old Venezuelan who plays baseball with an appreciation of the game. I tip my hat to him.

the downside of invincibility

Playing with invincibility and being invincible are two separate things <unfortunately for many athletes>.

The sports world is strewn with “what could have beens.” I bring this up because Brian Harper of the Washington Senators. He is a hall of fame lock … if he makes it through his ‘invincible youth.’ There is no more talented player in major league baseball that plays with such recklessness and wild abandon than he.

That said … I have a name for you Pete Reiser.

He could run, hit for average <in his rookie year, he won the National League batting title with a .343 average>, and hit for power. In that rookie season at age 22, he also led the league in runs scored (117), doubles (39), triples (17), slugging percentage (.558), OPS (.968), and had an OPS+ of 169.

He banged out 14 home runs, too.

He was Ty Cobb, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle and Albert Pujols all wrapped into one.

His defense was beyond reproach.

“There will never be a ballplayer as good as Willie Mays, but Reiser was every bit as good, and he might have been better. Pete Reiser might have been the best ballplayer I ever saw. He had more power that Willie. He could throw as good as Willie. Mays was fast, but Reiser was faster. Name whoever you want to, and Pete Reiser was faster. Willie Mays had everything. Pete Reiser had everything but luck.” – Leo Durocher

The play that basically ended Pete’s career came in 1942, when in the 13th inning of a 0-0 pitchers duel* between Whitlow Wyatt of the Brooklyn Dodgers and Mort Cooper of the St. Louis Cardinals, Reiser tried to chase down an Enos Slaughter drive to center field. He had it but ran full speed into the concrete wall, and the ball came loose. Reiser picked up the ball, threw it to Pee Wee Reese and they almost got Slaughter at home.

Reiser then collapsed on the field. He had a severe concussion and a fractured skull. How he threw that ball back to Reese is anybody’s guess.

That was the worst wall crash, but it was not the only one. He was carted off the field 11 times in his career, and was once given last rites at the stadium. – Bleacher Report

A player of truly exceptional talent had a career curtailed by injury and a ‘succeed at all costs I am invincible’ playing style.

I could name a bunch of exceptional athletes who, because of their playing style, became ‘vincible’ and never had the opportunity to become the older athlete who played the game with appreciation instead of invincibility.

The second name I have for you? Duncan Edwards.

I bring up Duncan only to suggest the spectacular older athletes have not only weaved their way through their sports lives safely … but also the random twists in Life itself.

Duncan Edwards was suggested as the greatest soccer <football> player ever.

But most don’t know him because he died at 21.

“Physically, he was enormous. He was strong and had a fantastic football brain. His ability was complete – right foot, left foot, long passing, short passing. He did everything instinctively.” –Bobby Charlton

An English footballer who played for Manchester United and the England national team. He was one of the Busby Babes, the young United team formed under manager Matt Busby in the mid-1950s, and one of eight players who died as a result of the Munich air disaster on Feb. 21 1958.

Matt Busby described Duncan Edwards as the most ‘complete footballer in Britain – possibly the world’. The greatest tragedy is that his death aged just 21 from injuries sustained in the Munich air crash meant his full potential was never realized <and yet he was considered the best of the best even at that time>. With boundless stamina, an all-encompassing range of passing and a truly ferocious shot, Edwards was a player who could control any game he played in.

<note: there are several fantastic books on the Busby Babes as well as Bobby Charlton’s biography is fantastic>

My point?

Invincibility is fickle.

These old guys, these spectacular older athletes, have not only weaved their way through their sports lives safely … physically… but also the random twists in Life itself.

the upside of the appreciation for the moment

I will begin with Kobe Bryant.

Boy … if you want to pick a youngster with swagger & invincibility you couldn’t do better than the 18 year old Kobe version.

But he has become ‘vincible.’

And at the same time he has shown grace and appreciation for the game. I once asked on this site in a post how people will be, and should be, judged. By the indiscretions of their youth or by the discretion of that which is found in maturity.

In the past year we are being faced this question in spades with Ray Lewis and Kobe Bryant.

Me?

As an old guy myself … and recognizing that I am quite happy I have had some time to manage my legacy with time & maturity … I recognize that athletes are no different than non athletes in that we all mature. What we do with that maturity is the measure of the person.

Three more oldster names who are nearing the end.

And three who have never been punks or arrogant <in the over the top swagger way>.

Mariano Rivera & Derek Jeter & Roger Federer.

Oh my.

Mariano & Derek and baseball..

One team <the Yankees> and two of the greatest ambassadors the game of baseball has ever had.

Quiet leaders who day in and day out did their thing … and I do not believe we have ever doubted their appreciation for the game … and their own appreciation of the talent they had <without all the braggadocio>.

We should appreciate these two while we have the opportunity.

They have always appreciated “the” moments … the moments that make or break the individual games … but as elder statesman I believe they appreciate it all now. Always class acts … they treated the game with class.

Whew.

Roger.

Effortless grace on the tennis court. I have seen bigger stronger faster whateverer athletes in my lifetime … but I am not sure I have ever seen such effortlessly looking spectacularness athleticism anywhere before or since. His time on the courts is getting shorter but one thing I believe we can all be sure of … he will seize the moment and appreciate it when his time comes.

Lastly. The NBA final three oldster athletes for the Spurs.

Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobli & Tony Parker.

An American, a Spaniard and a Frenchman.

All taking the court tonight against this generation’s version of ‘showtime.’ The old men will make it ‘slowtime’ and do what they do so well … they play the game with an appreciation for the moment.

An appreciation physically and mentally.

Tim and Manu know that their bodies physically are not what they once were. That doesn’t mean they aren’t competitive nor does it mean they ‘quit’ or take a break even while playing.

They have simply become smarter about when to expend energy <metal appreciation> and how to expend energy <physical appreciation>.

Once again.

I just wanted to name a few athletes nearing the end of their careers because the Spurs ‘oldsters’ reminded me we sports fans are living at a special time.

Anyway. In the end.

In a way … sports is cruel to athletes. Just as their minds mature … their bodies disappoint them. If an athlete is lucky they can play into their mid-30’s … then it’s over.

They are then required to begin a second career … and second life. To begin a second life where in the first you were invincible … and appreciative.

Regardless.

The greatest of the great older athletes rise up once in a while just to remind us of what we saw all the time.

And we should appreciate it for what it is … an older athlete appreciating the moment and rising up one more time.

All these athletes make me love the game even more … well … maybe better said … they make me appreciate the game.

selling out?

June 17th, 2013

Oh my.

Is it possible a world renowned museum could sell off its collection to resolve a city-it-resides-in’s debt?

Well.

It is being discussed.

Seriously discussed?

Kind of.

So.

The city of Detroit is on the brink of bankruptcy.

Here are some factoids <I will be close on how bad it is>.

The city will end close to $50 million in debt at end of year <even with about $130 million in state financial assistance … which really makes them about $180million in debt>.

They will have an accumulated deficit to maybe $1.35 billion in about 4 years.

As a reminder.

Detroit is the USA’s eleventh largest city with a population a little over 5 million people.

As comparison … it is about the same size as Baghdad, Iraq – Santiago, Chile – St. Petersburg, Russia – Singapore.

Anyway.

What are they gonna do about going bankrupt?

They are discussing auctioning off the Detroit Institute of Arts’ billion dollar collection, including works by Van Gogh, Picasso and Matisse, to satisfy creditors.

Everyone is worried <long list including unions, city & local officials, citizens, the museum, artsy rich people> and everyone knows shit needs to get done to improve the city <bankruptcy means some important stuff doesn’t get done … cleaning up and fixing infrastructure stuff>.

Well.

I am clearly in the artsy <non-rich> category.

And my fingers were itching to write some indignant diatribe on the crumbling of civilization as we know it if we were going to diminish arts & masterpieces to a point where it is simply something to sell off to settle debt.

And then I took a moment.

And thought a little.

And you know what?

Setting aside the brutal truth that the city probably has typical government inefficiencies and there are probably a number of different ways to resolve their debt beyond this action … I would do it.

Yup.

I would.

The implications of this idea are staggering on many fronts but … well … bankruptcy is bankruptcy.

And when do we suggest that people are responsible for the payment of their debts rather than negotiating ‘settlement of less than what was given’?

Maybe Detroit needs to draw a line in the sand and take responsibility for its debt.

They have assets which would cover the debt <some of the masterpieces are theirs to sell> so how in good conscious could the city deprive creditors, or the people who would assume the cutbacks, of money.

What happens when the city pensioners are given the choice of selling art or not receiving their pensions?

The city needs money to pay creditors <note that ‘creditors’ means that they have given something of value>.

Anyway.

Talk about a test of character.

As one would expect they are considering many options to help rectify Detroit’s fiscal crisis.

And they have proposed some fairly significant cuts in all programs and pension/pay for employees.

None of which has been received well.

Well.

I hate to break the news to everyone in Detroit.

Nothing anyone proposed will be received well.

This isn’t easy.

Oh.

Another thing.

The fact that museum officials oppose the idea of a fire sale <they would be non-human if they didn’t> and they have hired a bankruptcy attorney to suggest ways to protect the collection from possible losses <which seems a little ignorant of the issue at hand … and … oh … who is paying for the attorney????> means this fire sale will never happen.

It won’t.

And it is unfortunate.

It pains me to actually suggest NOT selling masterpieces as ‘unfortunate’ … but extreme situations require some extreme solutions and decisions.

Oh.

One last consideration …

Uh oh. No one <not many at least> visit the museum. What’s the use of having a world class museum if no one sees it?

It is truly a world class museum and it would be such a disappointment to lose any of the art housed there.

But too bad also is the fact that it was almost empty of people.

Ok.

So we are discussing having no money, having a museum with multiple masterpieces that not many people go see and lots of debt.

Here is where I end up on this.

<metaphor> My own house is crumbling around me and I can’t afford to pay the bills and I have creditors who would be calling me if I could afford a phone … and I have a spectacular painting sitting in my attic <because no one sees it> which would solve all my money issues but I am refusing to sell on principle?

Well.

That is nuts.

It would suck to sell my painting … just as it would suck to sell off masterpieces housed in the museum … but … they are things.

And things can be bought again someday down the road.

Pride is a tricky thing.

But being pragmatic is something to be proud of.

Making the really hard decisions is something to be proud of.

You may not be proud of the circumstances you are in … but you know what? It is only the ones who can make the really hard decisions that actually change the circumstances.

Detroit. Sell the paintings. Get back on your feet. And make people come to visit Detroit for Detroit … not the masterpieces hidden in some building.

And remember Detroit native Eminem’s words … “… I just keep going through the changes.” Because not keeping going ? Well. It ain’t an option.

crows, ravens, hope and fathers

June 16th, 2013

Happy Father’s day.

Let’s talk crows, ravens, hope and, of course, fathers.

First.

Just an fyi. Crows and ravens are in the same genus but are different birds <the best example I found was … think of leopards and tiger, both are in the same genus and are obviously related, but they are quite distinct animals>.

In general, the biggest black species, usually with shaggy throat feathers, are called ravens and the smaller species are considered crows. To finish the initial link to relevancy … both crows & ravens can be fathers … and I assume in the bird world … despite their blackness typically being seen as harbingers of death … they are hopeful birds.

Second. Crows & hope.

“Crows. Crows mate for life and are known to raise their young for as long as 5 years. Sometimes you don’t get that long. Life sometimes doesn’t turn out the way you hope. Maybe it never does. But you always hope it does. It is that hope you always hold on to at major life changing events in your own life … and particularly the lives of your children. You keep going, and you hope for the best, and sometimes, maybe not very often, your hopes come true.” – Craig Johnson <author>

Time and parenting is a love/hate relationship. Ok. Its a love relationship. But with some moments you hate.

A father recognizes that time seems to go quickly … and always hopes there is enough time … and hates that Life rarely does give it.

Sure … Life rarely turns out the way we hope. Fathers? They just keep going … hoping for the best … and sometimes their hopes come true … at least for their children.

But the bottom line?

Fathers keep going.

And rarely do they keep going for themselves <despite what Maslow may suggest> but rather their internal engine is hope … hope for the best for their children. Hope they will be better than they are. Hope that they have enough time.

Crow don’t have anything on fathers … but they sure understand fathers.

Third. Ravens & hope.

“Some people believe that ravens guide travelers to their destinations. Others believe that the sight of a solitary raven is considered good luck, but a group of ravens predicts trouble ahead. And a raven right before battle promises victory.” – Lucas Scott <the games that play us>

There are no promises in life <even if you do actually see a raven before battle> … but there is always hope. And, in fact, in Indian lore … the raven brought light to the world.

- How Raven Brought Light To The World <American Indian lore>

Long ago when the world was young, the earth and all living creatures were shrouded in the darkness. It was said that a great chief was keeping all the light for himself, but no one was certain, for the light was so carefully hidden that no one had ever actually seen it. The chief knew that his people were suffering, but he was a selfish man and did not care.
Raven was sad for his people, for he knew that without light the earth would not bring forth the food the people needed to survive. Raven decided to rescue the light. He knew that the way to the chief’s village was very long. When Raven arrived, he said to himself, “I must find a way to live the in the chief’s house and capture the light.”
So Raven transformed himself into a seed and floated on the surface of the nearby stream. When the chief’s daughter came to draw water, Raven was ready. No matter how she tried to drink some of the water, the seed was always in her way. Finally, she tired of trying to remove it, and she drank it along with the water.
The woman became pregnant, and in time she gave birth to a son, who was Raven in disguise. The chief loved his grandson, and whatever the child wanted, his grandfather gave him.
As the boy crawled, he noticed many bags hanging on the walls of the lodge. One by one he pointed to them, and one by one his grandfather gave them to him. Finally his grandfather gave him the bag that was filled with stars, and the bag that contained the moon. The child rolled the bags around on the floor of the lodge, then suddenly let go of them. The bags immediately rose to the ceiling, drifted through the smoke hole, and flew up into the heavens. There they burst open, spilling the stars and the moon into the sky.
The boy continued to play with bag after bag and box after box until one day he pointed to the last box left in the lodge. His grandfather took him upon his lap and said, “When I open this box, I am giving you the last and dearest of my possessions, the sun. Please take care of it!”
Then the chief closed the smoke hole and picked up the large wooden box he had hidden among other boxes in the shadows of one corner of the lodge. As soon as the chief removed the sun from this box, his lodging was flooded with a brilliant light.
The child laughed with delight as his grandfather gave him the fiery ball to play with. He rolled the sun around the floor of the lodging until he tired of the game and pushed it aside. His grandfather then replaced the sun in its box.
Day after day Raven and his grandfather repeated this process. Raven would point to the sun’s box, play with it until he tired of it, and then watch as his grandfather put the fiery ball away.
Finally the day came when the chief was not as careful as usual. He forgot to close the smoke hole, and he no longer watched Raven play with the fiery ball. The child resumed his Raven shape, grasped the ball of light in his claws, and flew up through the smoke hole into the sky, traveling in the direction of the river.
Raven spied people fishing in the dark. He said to them, “if you will give me some fish, I will give you some light.” At first they did not believe him. However, when Raven raised his wing and showed them enough light for them to fish with ease, they gave him part of their catch. When he had his fill of fish he lifted his wing, grabbed the sun with both claws and tossed it high into the sky. “Now my people will have light both day and night!” he exclaimed. And from that day forward, the people no longer lived in darkness.

Ok.

I will explain why when I read this story I thought of fathers <and hope>.

Fathers really are like ravens … and the father figure in the story <and the quote>. Like ravens they guide people to their destination.And fathers, whether they realize it or not, are light bringers. They tend to insure there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh. Like the grandfather of the raven in the story <despite his own flaws> they want their child to be better, do better, than they are. Fathers show the way … the hope … for something more.

At some point a father has to let their child fly. You can prepare them the best that you can … but they gotta fly on their own. And you hope that they make good decisions.

But the biggest hope of all?

They do something good & meaningful.

And you know what else? A father wants their children to be better than they were.

The raven did what his father <grandfather> either could not envision or was simply not capable of doing … and he gave the world light.

Trust me on this.

The grandfather/father in this story did not despair the child stole the box … he rejoiced the son did something he didn’t do … gave the world light.

Who wouldn’t be proud?

Fourth. Fathers & hope.

After having used a literary quote and an Indian folk story … here is some serious information and thoughts on fathers. Some research.

A study last year published in the Journal of Early Adolescence found that dads are in a unique position to instill persistence and hope in their children, particularly in the pre-teen and teen years.

Researchers from Brigham Young University analyzed fathers responses to questionnaires regarding their parenting style, and children ages 11 to 14 responded to questions about school performance and attaining goals. Fathers who practiced authoritative parenting, defined as providing feelings of love, granting autonomy and emphasizing accountability to a child, were more likely to have kids who developed the art of persistence, which led to better outcomes in school and lower instances of misbehavior.

Dads who ruled with an iron fist and an authoritarian style (harsher and more punishment-based parenting) had less persistent children.

“Fathers have a direct impact on how children perceive persistence and hope, and how they implement that into their lives,” said Randall Day, professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University and co-author of the study. “It’s important to say that moms can do this, too, but it turns out that when fathers use authoritative parenting, they have an impact on how their adolescents perceive themselves and how persistent they are in their lives.”

Day calls these types of dads “heart beat fathers” because of their consistent presence in the ordinary day-to-day interactions with their kids.

Researchers said the study joins a growing body of research that suggests fathers are uniquely important to children’s self-regulation and self-esteem. While that is not to say mothers do not instill these values, men and fathers may take on this role more often because of societal acceptance and expectations.

“Our study suggests fathers who are most effective are those who listen to their children, have a close relationship, set appropriate rules, but also grant appropriate freedoms.” BYU resarcher

For those dads who want to incorporate more authoritative parenting into their style the resarchers encouraged parents to simply listen.

The final piece of advice from this research?

“Spend more time listening at a deep level and less time trying to give lectures or solve the problem.”

Well.

Teaching persistence & hope. Can it get any better than that?

And fathers give hope sometimes not by doing anything more than listening.

They give hope that the words being said by their children mean something.

And that gives kids hope that they mean something <not just their words>.

Oh.

“heart beat fathers.”

Whew. Now that is a keeper phrase.

Anyway.

Crows, ravens, fathers … it all comes down to hope.

I am not a big regret guy. <and, no, I do not regret not being a crow or a raven … hmmmmm … although I do like wearing black>.

I tend to be pretty happy, and satisfied, with the decisions I have made throughout life. However … I do feel like I have missed out on something big by not being a father. Mostly because despite all the other stuff that comes with being a father … they are in the Hope business.

Now that, my friends, is a meaningful career.

Happy Father’s Day.

every day teachers

June 14th, 2013

So.

This may sound wacky in today’s world … but I believe we are all teachers … yup … not just those with a title of ‘teacher’ who is standing up in front of our young people day in and day out <beginning at some miserable pre-dawn hour> working with them to fine tune their minds into working, thinking machines.

That said … think about this.

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.” – William Arthur Ward

Here’s the deal.

If you are an adult reading this … either accept the fact you are a teacher or … well … you are cheating someone … a someone who is waiting to be taught something … or … a someone who EXPECTS to be taught something.

That certain someone <let’s call them young people> is waiting to be inspired. I just wanted to clear up the despicable thought that despite what we adults say about the lazy game playing youth they are actually big hyperactive brains waiting to be inspired to do something.

We inspire … or make their lives uninspired. It is our choice.

It drives me nuts the way so many people want to delegate teaching to “teachers” <educators>. Absolutely. Frickin’. nuts.

And I am not just talking about ‘readin’, writin’, ‘rithmetic’ type stuff <although that can certainly be included>.

Any teaching.

Because I go even more crazy because so many people ignore the fact that despite all their energy invested to avoid any type of teaching … they are actually frickin’ teaching.

Youth learns not only in the classroom but also through observation. Yup. Those little bastards <I use that term fondly> are watching everything we adults are doing and saying … including <but not exclusive of>:

Bad habits.

Good habits.

How to ‘do things.’

Whatever.

They are observing … and well … learning.

Accept the responsibility.

What you do around a child teaches. If you do not accept the responsibility, trust me, kids are thinking you are being responsible.

And, possibly, you are responsible for their souls <at least the development of their souls>.

China suggests teachers are “engineers of human souls.”

In China they say that a good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others.

Now.

I am not going to ask every grown up to do the last part … because that suggests giving so much of yourself to teaching you are consumed for the benefit of others <by the way … it is a good legacy to have if you actually do elect that path>.

And while teaching is like being an engineer <a science> … imparting knowledge effectively to others, especially children, is an art.

A great teacher embraces <ok … accepts …> the engineering aspect and teaches in ways that makes someone want to learn.

He or she inspires you to go beyond the standard lesson <Life lesson or education lesson>. They inspire students to think and strive and experiment.

It is a Life truth that teaching always lives on in all of us who has been taught.

That thought alone should remind all adults that they are teachers.

It seems kind of obvious to me that you <an adult> have to believe you are a teacher because you really cannot guess how far reaching your influence will be.

That’s the thing about being an adult <oops … teacher>. You never know whose life you are changing.

‘My teacher is in all people – but not all people are my teacher’

Oh.

Just a side note so no one thinks this is just personal opinion.

A study by the University of Kansas recorded the number of words parents from 42 families in various socio-economic groups spoke to their 4-year-old children. Children from professional families heard on average 45 million words before kindergarten. Children from poor families heard on average 13 million words <educational level of achievement followed accordingly>.

This is the beginning of the achievement gap and the cold calculus of poverty.

Some of those missed words not only were about real learning … some were about hope <and dreams>.

“You should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.” – Dee Cantrell

I am not suggesting accepting responsibility for being a teacher is easy. It is not <ask any school teacher>.

The trouble often occurs when priorities become misdirected or misguided. Life gets busy for us grown ups. And then we segment responsibilities so that we can manage our own ‘to-do’ lists. One segmentation is ‘teaching is for teachers.’

Well.

I imagine sometimes we forget that Life just cannot be segmented that easily. It is easy to overlook the fact that even something as random as algebra logic blurs into everyday life logic … and the discussion of that logic can sometimes lead anywhere but algebra itself. The sometimes seemingly senseless being taught in school <only seemingly to those adults who do not use the information in every day life and have actually forgotten things like algebraic logic> creates ripples of learning outside the school. So why should it all remain at school? Isn’t the best teaching actually a combination of experience and ‘in-the-moment’ reflection? <yes>

Anyway. I can guarantee you one thing unequivocally … it all leads to a Life lesson.

Therefore … all that said … the responsibility an adult holds for the well being of young people is paramount.

Of greater importance than just about anything else.

You may feel this, and believe this, more as a parent but being a parent is irrelevant on this issue … it is the responsibility of all adults.

If you do not agree?

Shame on you.

I understand that sometimes people lose sight of what is right and what is wrong but with children and teaching it is paramount you recognize and take steps to rectify your beliefs <and actions>. And you know what? While I am ranting about how it is a responsibility, which implies you aren’t doing anything but what you should be doing by doing it, you deserve credit when you accept the responsibility.

Teaching is difficult.

Montaigne – in the 1700’s – reminded us of several things about being a teacher:

In truth, all I understand as to that particular is only this, that the greatest and most important difficulty of human science is the education of children. For as in agriculture, the husbandry that is to precede planting, as also planting itself, is certain, plain, and well known; but after that which is planted comes to life, there is a great deal more to be done, more art to be used, more care to be taken, and much more difficulty to cultivate and bring it to perfection so it is with men; it is no hard matter to get children; but after they are born, then begins the trouble, solicitude, and care rightly to train, principle, and bring them up. The symptoms of their inclinations in that tender age are so obscure, and the promises so uncertain and fallacious, that it is very hard to establish any solid judgment or conjecture upon them. ’Tis the custom of pedagogues to be eternally thundering in their pupil’s ears, as they were pouring into a funnel, whilst the business of the pupil is only to repeat what the others have said: now I would have a tutor to correct this error, and, that at the very first, he should according to the capacity he has to deal with, put it to the test, permitting his pupil himself to taste things, and of himself to discern and choose them, sometimes opening the way to him, and sometimes leaving him to open it for himself; that is, I would not have him alone to invent and speak, but that he should also hear his pupil speak in turn. Let the master not only examine him about the grammatical construction of the bare words of his lesson, but about the sense and let him judge of the profit he has made, not by the testimony of his memory, but by that of his life. Let him make him put what he has learned into a hundred several forms, and accommodate it to so many several subjects, to see if he yet rightly comprehends it, and has made it his own.

To know by rote, is no knowledge, and signifies no more but only to retain what one has intrusted to our memory. That which a man rightly knows and understands, he is the free disposer of at his own full liberty, without any regard to the author from whence he had it, or fumbling over the leaves of his book. A mere bookish learning is a poor, paltry learning; it may serve for ornament, but there is yet no foundation for any superstructure to be built upon it.

Ok.

Enough of that.

<although part 1 .. “A mere bookish learning is a poor, paltry learning; it may serve for ornament, but there is yet no foundation for any superstructure to be built upon it” … and althouth part 2 .… ‘That which a man rightly knows and understands, he is the free disposer of at his own full liberty’ are big thoughts we should all be very thoughtful of>

In the end.

Just accept you are a teacher.

And accept the fact, whether you are actually good or bad at it, that when you DO get it right … there’s a way in which teaching invokes curiosity and passion … no matter what the subject.

Great teachers make learning feel good.

Great teachers actually feel good when it all works.

Great teachers effect living as well as just the mind.

Great teachers beget great responsible thinking adults.

Montaigne also offered the reciprocal thought that “Learning is living, and living is learning”.

If we grownups are truly honest with ourselves … we are not just interested in merely filling a child with knowledge or content, but rather with guiding the child to discover activities that help the child to become “well-formed.”

That guidance not only helps to provoke, make them think <sometimes think hard>, and introduce new ways of looking at the world for many years … but it also helps guide them through Life. Because <just as reminder> … success in Life is rarely a straight line.

Just be a teacher.

Oh. And remember these words, I often use, because they seem relevant to this topic … “37 seconds used wisely … is a lifetime.”

waiting versus the battle (and managing moments)

June 13th, 2013

Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.

Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?

Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle

- from a Futurama episode

So.

I chuckled when I read this.

And I am guilty of saying something similar <the calm before the battle part>.

One of my favorite quotes comes from a midshipman’s diary entry on Collingwood’s flagship before the battle of Trafalgar:

“… we await glory in silence. Oh, let the din of battle begin.”

Waiting can suck.

It can be uncomfortable.

It can be tense.

It can actually drive you a little crazy.

Oh.

Yeah.

Then there is the battle.

Oops.

Talk about being uncomfortable & tense.

I imagine I could suggest something wise here like ‘doing is better than not doing’ or even ‘Life is nothing without action’ … but I will not.

Instead I will say <after sagely pondering this philosophical question>

Parts are parts & pieces are pieces.

Aw.

Let me explain.

Prior to any actual moment … the moment you are within is simply a prelude to what is to come as well as past the actual moment is simply another moment that has arrived in its own time.

Say what?

The worst part is the calm before the battle.

The worst part is the battle itself.

The worst part is the aftermath of the battle.

But.

The best parts are also found within each of those moments.

Each moment is the best of times … and the worst of times.

Well.

At least you can find pieces and parts of both within every moment.

Best or worst?

Glass half full or half empty?

Optimist of pessimist?

Aw. Who cares?

All I can really suggest is that we can see the best and the worst of what lies within each of us in every moment associated with a battle … whether that ‘battle’ be within everyday life or a business situation or an athletic event or even a real battle.

Within those moments we are challenged to be the best we can be.

Our lives are often defined by these moments.

Ok.

Maybe not our lives but certainly our character.

Character as in how we are seen … by others … and most importantly … by the person we see in the mirror.

I imagine my real point here <beyond using a silly but insightful Futurama quote> is that character can be defined in parts & pieces of moments not always by big things <or an entire moment>.

We each have our little demons that cannot wait to diminish our character.

They lurk in the parts & pieces of the moments.

Is it within the waiting?

Is it within the battle?

Is it within how we manage after the battle?

They exist everywhere & nowhere. And in that same everywhere & nowhere our character awaits.

Character manages to deal with the parts & pieces of moments … the moments which contain both the best of times & the worst of time … and … well … all these parts & pieces define our character.

Every moment is a battle in itself. There is always a waiting before as well as the battle itself. They all overlap. We may hate it … but it is simply the worst … and best … and it is Life.

keeping your eye on key business issues (as I see it)

June 12th, 2013

Ok.

I get asked a lot about key issues facing businesses these days … some marketing people but mostly just business people wanting to talk about business <and being successful or the corollary … how to avoid doing stupid shit that will keep you from being successful>.

After having had this conversation several times I have narrowed it down to my big 5 <or little 5 depending on how valuable you may find this> when someone asks me the keys to having a successful business.

- decommoditization

- fragmentation

- lack of interest

- nudging

- influencers

Other people will have other things but these are mine. Why?

Well. I tend to believe if you pay attention to these 5 things your business will have a fighting chance of being successful. Not because these are brilliant insightful epiphany type business thoughts but rather these are the basics <with a twist> and they keep your head in the business game.

Let me explain them.

decommoditization:

Meaningful differentiation is difficult if not impossible. It is more than features & benefits and it is absolutely more than sheer ‘puffery’ <the claim that we are unique and everyone will beat a path to our door>.

This is truly the challenge of what a really smart guy named Hugh McLeod calls ‘decommoditization.’ Most businesses simply begin from the wrong place. They either seek ‘white space’ in the competitive environment or they believe they are different and set out to tell the world about it.

That is good old school ideology.

But it is bad because it is old thinking.

In today’s more cynical world the mind’s perception map assumes everyone is equal until proven otherwise.

Every day a business is decommoditizing itself or it is slipping down the slippery slope to commodity.

Unless your business is lean hogs, rough rice, natural gas or soybeans <all commodity futures you can invest in> you better have your head focused on decommoditizing.

fragmentation:

Business has always been about managing a bunch of moving pieces. Even small businesses.

The parts & pieces make up the whole. But managing the whole is unrealistic as well as shortsighted <as well as doesn’t really maximize the pieces & parts>.

All that said … keeping an eye on fragmentation is a nice simple business concept … well … with just about every aspect of a business.

Fragmented culture.

Fragmented organization.

Fragmented messaging.

Fragmented process.

Fragmentation is bad. Why?

Because I can almost guarantee that 99% of the time fragmentation = unaligned.

Oh.

And unaligned anything is bad in a business.

The easiest example is fragmented unaligned messaging. It is a common problem and it leads to fragmented brand <and lower brand value> and confused consumers <and lower sales>.

Heck. Fragmented messaging even confuses the organization <the employees>.

Brand messaging alignment leads to more efficient spend and increased sales <and a focused organization>.

Now.

The hardest example is a fragmented culture. A fragmented culture is ripe for structural corruption.

And by fragmented culture I mean “everyone articulates the company purpose or focus differently.” It may not be huge differences but this is like that stupid game you did when you were kids … lining up with Styrofoam cups linked by a string. The last kid will hear something through the Styrofoam cup but as they all throw the cups into the recycle bin they will all be discussing that they heard something slightly different.

I tell most business that fragmentation management is an ongoing battle. Everyday a business will seek to break apart all on its own through inertia. Everywhere a leader goes he/she/it should be sniffing out fragmentation. Keep everything aligned and all will be good.

lack of interest:

People, in general, don’t care until they have to care.

I would like to point out that while we all say “the greatest thing since sliced bread” that sliced bread was not that great to people in the beginning … people just didn’t care about sliced bread … they liked what they had <unsliced>.

Anyway.

The corollary to that thought?

Everything is interesting at some point.

Yup.

Everything.

It’s all about uncovering the most relevant time to be relevant <and interesting>. Pick the wrong time and you waste $’s because the consumer just doesn’t care. Be interesting at the right time and the brand becomes relevant <and sales will increase>.

Whenever I bring this topic up … oddly <in general> … I find everyone gravitating to the ends of the spectrum … half believe whatever their widget is that everyone is interested in it … and the other half suggest the world has gone to hell in a hand basket and people don’t care about anything.

Regardless.

Assume people don’t care about what it is you want to tell them. And assume they don’t care about your product <until you do something wrong>. This is a good starting point for all businesses. It is also a great <overlooked> place for solid well known businesses to‘re-begin.’

Huh? Say what?!? You bet. I cannot tell you how many times I have seen a well-known business have great awareness numbers <people know who they are> but those same people have very little to say in terms of details <this is often called empty awareness>.

And why does that happen?

Lack of interest. People just don’t care until they have to care.

nudging:

So.

Getting people to care <and how to decommoditize>.

So often we want to bludgeon people with our business … the ideas and why it is so good for you … and break through that ‘lack of interest’ barrier I just talked about.

It is tempting to do.

Loud noises show that you are making a big effort <not really … but it creates the perception of>.

Here is a truth … nudging is actually more effective.

- Can a Nudge Radically Change Shopping Behavior?
A professor at New Mexico State University ran a little ‘behavioral economics’ experiment at a local supermarket.
He placed a strip of tape across the middle of the grocery carts, and added a sign reading, “place fruits and vegetables in front of this sign, and other groceries behind it.”
This simple nudge doubled the amount of produce people bought — ten times more than any nutrition education did. Why? Because it established new social norms. People felt that it was now expected behavior that they’d buy that much produce.
This kind of nudge is brilliant and confounding: it’s remarkably effective.

Nudging is effective because it creates a behavioral shift without overt promotion, or bribes or any real loud noises.

Anyone can scream … ah … but those who can whisper? Worth every penny you can pay them. I don’t suggest that businesses solely rely on nudges … but I do suggest that building a business around the concept of nudging creates a behavioral pattern tied to whatever it is the business is offering. And that is a business foundation to build upon that can withstand the storms of competition and time.

By the way … nudging ain’t just for marketing … it is an excellent concept with regard to culture and business organizational behavior.

influencers:

The truth is that not all people are created equal when it comes to building a successful business model. And that means within the organization as well as without.

Therefore it is not about how many friends you have but rather who your friends are.

This pertains to decommoditizing, creating interest, nudging, whatever.

Find the people who really matter and they not only spread the word … but they also stop the <negative/wrong> word. They are like a filter that permits things out but does not permit things in.

And I hate to break the news to everyone … but this isn’t social <or being social> this is about connecting with people who matter and creating a connection <and a type of relationship>.

We hear a lot about the increasing importance of social media and being involved <or being left out> but the truth is that the idea of <social> connectivity is more important than discussing social media. Social media is simply a tool in your arsenal to connect with these important people <influencers>.

Businesses can thrive … as well as have a buffer for when they are being challenged … with a strong influencer base <internally & externally>.

I tell businesses to think quality versus quantity on this topic.

It is a boring old concept applied to a new idea.

Frankly it was good then … and is still good now.

That’s it.

These are not ‘one-offs’ but rather ongoing commitment checklist.

Great leaders, and the managers, in business almost have these imprinted on their brains as a filter for everything they see, hear, smell or just sense in general. I tend to believe businesses committed to these will probably end up in a pretty good place. They can certainly do other things <to have a ‘business success list’ would take pages I believe> but these 5 seem to work pretty well.

blandiloquence

June 11th, 2013

Ok.

The word ‘blandiloquence.’

Blandiloquence comes from a Latin word meaning “smooth-talking” or “flattering.”

blandiloquent (blan-DEL-uh-kwent) – adj., mild and smooth-talking, honey-tongued, flattering, ingratiating.

Also comes with an obsolete noun form, blandiloquence, meaning flattery. The word is borrowed from Latin where it meant smooth talk.

Interestingly … bland’s roots <latin> coincide with concepts like ‘melt’ and ‘mild.’

Anyway.

The word does throw you off a bit. It’s a contradiction … even a type of an oxymoron.

Bland + eloquence.

“Bland” … without strong features.

“Iloquence” , from which you get eloquence, which means “persuasive … powerful discourse.”

So maybe it suggests a person without strong features … but with some persuasiveness?

For example.

Chichikov, a character in one of Gogol’s books, is a lower-echelon civil servant with a corrupt past who specializes in what Gogol calls “blandiloquence” or elaborately empty compliments.

And that example leads me to why I decided to write about this <beyond the fact I learned a new word>.

There are not many things I dislike more than empty words.

You know what I mean by empty words … these are words that are ingratiating empty of any feeling or deep truth <or even simply a thought>. They are so light and empty of anything that they just seem to float along the top of meaningless drivel.

Now.

This doesn’t always translate into ‘less is more.’ This simply about words that are empty.

Because truthfully the amount of words rarely matters if what is used … is used well.

As for words not used well? Even one matters … in that even one is too many.

As for empty words? Nothing from nothing is still nothing … use few … use many … does not matter … it still, aggravatingly, equals nothing.

Ok.

The one thing I dislike more than empty words?

The empty person who uses them.

The blandiloquent few.

Maybe I should just call them the bland people using eloquently empty words.

The blandiloquent are vacuous shells, masquerading as people, who victimize us with words vacant of any thought.

You can recognize these people.

First. They are bland.

Without strong features.

Colorless with no depth.

Physically they swim hither and yon wherever the tide may take them. You have no idea what they stand for or what they believe in … they have never had an original thought in their life … and they seemingly have gobs of friends … but no real friends.

Second. They are eloquent.

Persuasive and with powerful discourse.

They know the words but don’t know the value of the words. In their eloquent flattery they find solace in a belief it is self-effacing … while others see it as it is … a cheap blanket of words to warm the hearts of all they perceive as powerful … pandering to the powerful weak … pissing off the true with power.

Advertising great David Ogilvy once said this:

“Our business is infested with idiots who try to impress by using pretentious jargon.”

These idiots … the blandiloquent … stalk the hallways of every business, not just the advertising business <sorry Mr. Ogilvy … it has spread far far beyond your own domain> everyday spreading their cheap honey to anyone who deigns to stop and accept it.

Shame on anyone who accepts this cheap gift.

And shame on those who waste words as if they were a dime a dozen.

And … worst of all … shame on anyone who empties words to a point where they become hollow when used.

Words should have weight … gravitas … color … depth.

People who understand this embrace the burden of words.

Blandiloquence.

A beautifully horrible word.

And a word we should all take note of.

Also.

We should take note of the fact this fabulous word is teetering on the brink of extinction … the Oxford English Dictionary has retained the noun, blandiloquence, and an adjectival cousin, blandiloquous but it resides on a seat overlooking all that which is often overlooked.

Harsh uncompromising truth.

In today’s politically correct world a word like blandiloquence is too harsh a truth to recognize … let alone speak out loud.

Baloney.

Save the word because the harsh truth behind it should not be lost.

tired of being immapant

June 10th, 2013

Well.

This is about immappancy <or being immapant>.

The concept of “immappancy”, meaning insufficient geographical knowledge … and the fact it is being driven by some inaccurate maps we constantly refer to … okay … not inaccurate but maybe simply misleading.

And to be honest … I will admit that I have been guilty of immapancy. In general an ignorant disregard for the truth of geography. But I am here to not only put my ignorance to rest but to enlighten at the same time.

I became aware of this issue in maybe 2001 <I am guessing>. One of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite shows, West Wing, had to do with ‘immappancy’ … or how maps mislead perceptions … and even create the wrong perceptions.

Ok.

About maps <and the fact the ones we mostly grew up with do not accurately depict truth>.

Part of the issue we face when we look at traditional maps is something called ‘the Mercator projections.’ The illusion of Mercator projections, which show the Earth sphere on a flat surface while maintaining a line of constant bearing as a straight line, are useful for marine navigation, but they give us an inaccurate idea about the size and shape of continents.

< A sphere cannot be represented on a flat plane without distortion, which means all map projections distort in one way or another. Some projections show areas accurately but distort distances or scales, for example; others preserve the shapes of countries but misrepresent their areas>

Therefore … we are, for the majority, basically immapant <an expression kind of meaning “illiterate in map reading”>.

Now.

I will admit that it absolutely drives me nuts that in a place like the United States where people literally have access to information at their fingertips, most are still absolutely clueless about the world.

But I will also admit that it doesn’t help when every map you look at distorts truth.

It helps understand what I am talking about because Kai Krause, a computer-graphics guru, created a map entitled “The True Size of Africa” which showed the outlines of other countries crammed into the outline of the African continent.

His aim was to make “a small contribution in the fight against rampant Immappancy” and address the fact that most people do not realize how much the ubiquitous Mercator projection distorts the relative sizes of countries.

All interesting … but what about that West Wing episode?

West Wing’s press secretary CJ Craig “freaked out” at the sight of a new view of the world. The show is fictional, but the map is fact. It is the Peters Projection World Map.

But.

Here is the scene from West Wing.

West Wing – Why are we changing maps?: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8zBC2dvERM

Anyway.

What CJ Craig saw on WEST WING is a map commonly seen in Europe, Africa, Asia and Latin America although almost unheard of in North America … the Peters Projection map.

The countries look different from what we are used to seeing. In fact, the Peters Projection map shows all countries in their true size and proportion. One square inch on the map represents an equal number of square miles anywhere in the world. Peters Projection World maps are available in most book stores or directly from ODT, Inc. at 1-800-736-1293 To see all the Peters Equal Area Maps, click here.

The novelty of the Peters (or Gall-Peters projection) and other projections such as the Hobo-Dyer is that it is not focused in compass bearings like the Mercator projection <which many people consider obsolete but almost impossible to ‘re-align’ global education and knowledge around a revised map>. Instead these projections represent countries and continents in far more accurate proportions and, by so doing, reduce the distorted visual dominance of the Northern Hemisphere.

The Mercator projection dates from 1569, and its purpose was to provide navigational aid for nautical charts during the age of Europe’s explorations for alternative routes to Asia. The map preceded the colonial developments of later centuries, yet it accurately illustrated a superiority bias which dominated relations between European empires and their colonial territories across the world.

Regardless of the inaccurate Mercator proportions <the mistaken visual dominance of “developed countries” in the Northern hemisphere and the fact that neither North nor South (or up or down) exist in the universe … therefore highlighting the arbitrariness of cardinal points and their placement> and the fact it is the most widely used map … I truly wonder why more people do not understand some global truths <where countries are and proportionate sizes in population and land mass> even if the visual is inaccurate.

Anyway.

The Peters Projection map is in a class of map projections called equal-area maps. On the familiar Mercator projection, Greenland appears to be the same size as Africa. However Africa, at 11.6 million square miles, is really more than 14 times larger than Greenland at 0.8 million square miles. <”Explanation of the Peters Projection Map.”>

Ok.

As admitted upfront … I brought up immappancy because I was ignorant with regard to many of the things this mapping research uncovered.

And I know maybe 2 adults in ten can name more than 5 countries in Africa.

And I know maybe 2 in ten can even point out where a country like Israel is on a map … let alone some place like Turkey or <god forbid> Sweden or Norway.

It is embarrassing to ask people to locate countries on a map <and watch them struggle>.

We are in the information era where curiosity can be sated in but a moment.

Almost anything any one wants to know … they can find the answer by searching the internet.

In my mind there is no longer an excuse for why people know so little of the world … even if the maps we typically look at are out of whack.

the in-between

June 8th, 2013

“I struggle to think of anything more miserable than living a life in the wretched hollow of the in between.” – me

Ok.

Having quoted myself …

What if that is all there is?

What if life is made up primarily of the in between?

And what if it is actually more important than all the other shit we focus on day in and day out?

What if the in-between is the big epic holiday from Life?

For all we could and should being

In the one life that we’ve got.

Everybody says that time heals everything.

But what of the wretched hollow?

The endless in-between?

Are we just going to wait it out? – Imogene heap (Wait it Out)

Think about it.

If life is a journey <not a destination> then isn’t the completion of that thought that you are always in between?

In between where you were and where you will be <or you are going>.

Geez.

That doesn’t sound good.

In fact that sounds horrible <to me>.

And I imagine to people who have specific aspirations and goals and things they target as “success in life” it is even worse … it sounds an awful like nonsuccess, lack of focus and wasted energy.

It sounds like either not knowing where you are supposed to go <which is something that everyone is telling you is the key to happiness> or you are stuck someplace that isn’t moving toward where you want to go.

None of that sounds good.

But isn’t in between <in this sense> about finding your way?

Finding ‘home’ mentally’?

Where home, in the sense of ‘where I am going’, remains elusive mentally and physically.

And that you are in the search for … well … whatever it is you are searching for.

That means we are all supposed to be searching … well … all our lives.

Ok.

That was generalization.

How about thinking about this as living in between on the majority of things.

Would it be okay to be in between on all the <85%> things but ‘where you meant to be’ on the 15%? That suggests you are anchored on the important, or some, things.

Is that good?

Well.

As I noted above for me that is still miserable <or at least sounds so>.

Not knowing something as important as that seems like it should be in the minority of the time and not the majority <meaning it is okay to ‘not know’ for periods>.

And yet.

If you have ever been to a tropical island … I would suggest many of the people there live long periods of their life in between.

And by ‘in between’ I mean simply meandering through Life.

The majority seem to have left something behind but … well … haven’t made any decisions with regard to gaining anything more ahead <tangibly>.

In my rat race words … they still have not found what they are seeking.

Here is the crazy thing.

They, for the most part, are quite content.

They seem to smile more <good> and maybe bathe less <not so good>.

They may wear the same shirt a couple of days in a row … and it isn’t some fancy designer shirt.

They don’t wear socks and they seem to be in less of a hurry <but almost always seem to get places on time>.

And … well … they seem to smile more.

So maybe it is just me.

Maybe I am trapped in the American ‘can do’ … or ‘should do’ attitude and missing out on what life has to offer when you spend it in the in-between.

I do know that when I am around people who are peacefully existing in the in between I seem to wander there into that wretched space.

And it doesn’t seem so wretched then.

And I wonder.

And then it is painful <becoming wretched again>.

I want to know where I am going. I want to know what I should be doing. And I want to be doing something purposeful for someone.

Oh.

Yeah.

But they seem to smile more.

Maybe part of growing up is learning how to be comfortable in the in between … and not “being successful” and “having something to show.”

Maybe.

But it seems strange to me.

And it seems so far out of my natural DNA the thought of it makes me reach for another cocktail <preferably a pain killer> just to calm myself.

Oh.

But they seem to smile more.

And when I see them smiling … they do talk to me about their own in between, oddly enough, it reminds me of Alice in Wonderland …

Alice: “would you tell me please … which way I ought to go from here.”

Cheshire cat: “that depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”

Alice: “I don’t much care.”

Cheshire Cat: “then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
Alice: “so long as I get somewhere.”

Cheshire Cat: “oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

Look.

I imagine we all reach some crossroads in our lives.

Some moments when we question where to go from here.

I am an older guy.

I’m supposed to not only know where I am going but I am also supposed to be well on my way to be there <wherever or whatever ‘there’ is>.

Sometimes I feel I have visited ‘there’ already … and … well … shit. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

That said.

Frankly … lately I wonder about what I will be “when I grow up” <which I imagine is the mature view of ‘where am I going’>.

Therefore I do spend some time in that wretched hollow I call ‘the in between.’

And, yup. it is wretched to me.

All my life I have improved businesses, organizations and projects. And I love doing that. And I imagine along the way I have improved myself <at least one would hope that was a by product>.

At the moment I am doing none of those things <at least on a 100% basis which is what I am used to>.

So what happens next?

I define myself by doing.

It makes you think … what happens when you stop doing?

Well.

Doing what you have always believed has created some ‘value’ in Life. I still think and write and share ideas and help people … but not in the way I used to where organizations counted on me.

Being a salaried employee is comfortable.

Doing and providing value daily, if not weekly, is comfortable … at least to me.

I don’t know that I am that different from the majority in this sense.

Many of us … most of us … like feeling productive. Heck. Most of us like BEING productive <in some form or fashion>.

It is funny.

I had this discussion with someone sitting at a bar in the islands.

Someone who was comfortable with the inbetween.

Mostly comfortable because they defined their Life differently … and, frankly, from a pragmatic standpoint had figured out a way to do something that paid the bills without the ongoing stress of where next month’s money is going to come from.

Anyway.

Lastly.

Here is what I think about in-between and people and today’s culture.

Sometimes people need to be pulled out of the in-between.

They cannot get out on their own.

Wow.

That certainly goes against all of today’s “you have to be a self starter” or “you cannot count on anyone but yourself” or “no one is going to do it for you” philosophy being expounded, and pounded, into today’s culture.

I imagine I think of this the same as the slippery slope of Life. The in between, just as the slippery slope, is difficult to get off of or out of without a helping hand.

This isn’t about not being strong enough or not being enough of a self starter … or not even not being qualified or ‘good enough’ at some work talent … some people just get stuck.

And some of those people are simply better at being in the game than in getting in the game.

I know I tell people to get in the game all the time. Take chances and take some uncomfortable risks.

And I am not backing off of that.

But there is a difference between doing that while actually in the game then when you are out seeking to get in.

For example … myself … put me in the game and I will play like every second is the last second of the game. I take calculated risks and am relatively fearless in a business environment. But I am also relatively clueless about getting in the game if I am on the sidelines.

It is a different skill … and a different attitude.

And it isn’t about avoiding anything … or avoiding choices <or inability to make the hard choices> and … it is not even about being lazy … it is simply a different Life skill.

Whew.

This in-between thing can be quite wretched for many of us I imagine.

All I really know is that the conversation I had made me think and the next day at the same bar I had this scribbled on some napkins for them to read <they all bought me drinks after reading>.

I don’t share many things I write personally but try this one out as I ponder ‘what I will be’ and what I will do because I feel like I still have something to offer <professionally>.

And I am currently squarely residing in the in between.

And it is a really uncomfortable place for me.

In fact … I am relatively sure the in between is the wretched hollow in Life.

——-

Napkin scribblings at a bar in the Caribbean after a pain killer <or 2>. Oh. This is also probably my first published piece in that the bar owner liked it so much it is now posted behind the bar.

Here you go:

‘tomorrow I was nothing’

tomorrow I was nothing

yesterday I was no more than today

today I was believing that which is was not.

in some little place in between everything i hold on to “I believe in me.”

but

makes you wonder

if we ever reach a day

when we can discern the difference

between

that which is

what was

and what will be

and what we believe,

even in me.

so are we destined to suffocate

in the silent seconds

strewn in the wretched hollow

of the in between

where the only thing seen

are question

after question

of the difference between

what is, what was and what will be.

oh, so i ask Life to wait on things

things that seem practical to the wise

as i wait

for wisdom with closed eyes

hoping all will appear on our fingertips to touch

that which is right from the wrong

and what we can feel may lie unseen in the in between

where it all becomes real

regardless

can you count the Mondays

Life thinks of calling me

and doesn’t?

because in the hollow of the in between

I know that i am you and you are me

and in the grey

in between decisions

seek the light of what is right

despite the fact you sometimes doubt that which is

and aim to the left

where darkness beckons.

in the end

departing the wretched in between

is simply what it is

and always comes back to what was.

so don’t blink

or you may you sink into the in between

of what you think

rather than what you should know

for tomorrow was nothing

and yesterday

was holding your dreams

and today is what is.

——

<please note: I wrote the original for this maybe 6 months ago in a very pensive mood while relaxing on an island in-between – pun intended – working on business projects remotely>

Thanks for reading <sometimes don’t think I say this enough>.

l’anj-lan (angels)

June 8th, 2013

Ok.

This is about the song Angels by Wax Poetic <and the creole l’anj-lan … angel>.

This is an old song <2003> but I loved it then … and love it now.

In case you do not remember this song … and it’s slightly odd opening … and beautiful Norah Jones vocals … and exotic French light hip hop vocal overlay here you go:

Angels Wax Poetic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0QMTnTtjHE

I just heard it again and finally did the research into the French portion that I have always been meaning to do.

Oh.

And it isn’t French <per se> but rather Haitian Creole. The lyrics give it an exotic feel and mysteriousness <because you have no clue what the heck she is saying>.

I love the character of both the voices. I tend to like a voice with some depth and mystery to it. I also tend to believe some of the best vocalists are ones that don’t necessarily have the best technical delivery but have some innate ability to reach you in some way that makes you empathize and feel what they’re feeling … joy, sorrow, anger, love, comfort or pain … whatever.

Before I get to the translation … about Wax Poetic. New York-based trip-hop band founded by Turkish music guru Ilhan Ersahin in about 1997 <released 1^st album in 2000>. The band consisted of a mixed group of musicians jamming together to create a heavy groove of drum ‘n’ bass blended with quick dance elements. Norah Jones was a member before her break-out album Come Away with Me. Other former members include N’Dea Davenport and Saul Williams. Jones can still be heard singing with them on two tracks of their 2003 release, NuBlu Sessions, which has Angels on it.

Ok.

Angels.

Here are the basic lyrics:

(Norah Jones)
Angels falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow
Angels falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow

(Wax Poetic)
Gade kijan n’ap mache
gade kijan n’ape cheche demen
Nou pa men’m gen couraj
Men l’anj-lan ap desann
Pou ba nou couraj
Pou’l ka ba nou fos
Pou nou ka travay
Lap ban nou fos
Pou nou ka rive jus kote nou prale

(Voices of Norah Jones and Wax Poetic overlapping)

Angels falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow
Meet them falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow

Menm si ou we ou pa we demen
Wap toujou rive byen lwen
Piga’w rete cheche
Mache, mache
Nap rive byen lwen
Paske nap we demen
Lap ba nou couraj
Pou’n ka we demen
Lap ban nou couraj
Pou nou ka cheche
Nan tout kote ke nou ale
Nape jwen tout sa’n cheche
Paske l’anj-lan…

Well.

I googled the Haitian Creole lyrics <once I found out they were Haitian creole … creole is derived from French and African dialects but since its mostly spoken you typically have to see the written form in context in order to translate … examples … mache = walking … mache = market. So you could say “N’ap mache nan mache a” = We’re walking in the market>.

The translator I found put the literal meaning as well as the intended meaning in parenthesis.

Anyway, here is a translation:

(Norah Jones)
Angels falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow
Angels falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow

(Wax Poetic)
Gade kijan n’ap mache
Look how we’re walking (wandering)

gade kijan n’ape cheche demen
Look how we’re searching for tomorrow

Nou pa men’m gen couraj
We don’t even have courage (strength)

Men l’anj-lan ap desann
Even when the angel is descending

Pou ba nou couraj
To give us courage (strength)

Pou’l ka ba nou fos
To give us force (courage)

Pou nou ka travay
So we can work (endure)

Lap ban nou fos
He’s giving us force (strength)

Pou nou ka rive jus kote nou prale
So we can get to where we’re going (to last us on our journey)

(Voices of Norah Jones and Wax Poetic overlapping)
Angels falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow
Meet them falling through my hair
I want to meet them tomorrow

Menm si ou we ou pa we demen
Even if you don’t see tomorrow

Wap toujou rive byen lwen
you’ll still get far

Piga’w rete cheche
Don’t stay behind, searching (Don’t lose yourself in searching)

Mache, mache
Walk, walk

Nap rive byen lwen
We’ll get very far

Paske nap we demen
Becasue we will see tomorrow

Lap ba nou couraj
He will give us courage

Pou’n ka we demen
So we can see tomorrow

Lap ban nou couraj
He will give us courage

Pou nou ka cheche
So we can search (In our search)

Nan tout kote ke nou ale
Everywhere that we go

Nape jwen tout sa’n cheche
We’ll find everything we’re searching

Paske l’anj-lan…
Because (of) the angel

Thanks for indulging me.

Good song and I have always been curious as to what the foreign language was and what the lyrics meant.