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Please remember:
Amazing takes time.
And legendary
Takes patience.
—–
Robin Sharma
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“The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
Still round the corner there may wait,
A new road or a secret gate.”
–
Tolkein
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So.
I just spoke with one of my favorite people, a good friend, who as I hung up the 
phone I thought “he is a multiple night success.”
Oh.
We hear a lot about overnight successes … probably too much. Too much <and misguided> because it is more likely that any successful person you know is a … well … multiple night success.
Now.
I am going to talk about a different type of multiple night here. Most times we talk about people who have toiled in one industry, honing their expertise until some point where they hit a tipping point and a window of opportunity at the exact time. Let’s call this version the ‘axis mundi’ of a hard worker.
The version I am speaking of today is more of a ‘not all who wander are lost’ type exploration of some roads … following each with eager feet hoping it would at some point join a ‘larger way.’ This version is more about spending nights searching for “what is it I am meant to do.”
That was my friend.
I say it that way because I may not know a nicer, more well-grounded from a character standpoint, hard working person. But character & working hard does not guarantee that you will advance in some career. I would argue, and have, that Life for many people is more like a ragged diagonal.
You make some good choices and make some bad choices.
You attach yourself to some people who further your progress and some others who don’t end up doing shit.
You sacrifice some passion for some paying of bills.
You take advantage of some opportunities and miss out on some others <we tend to do more of the latter than the former>.
And maybe worse?
The choices are often not particularly clear.
Life choices are more likely to be like the infamous “trolley ethical problem:”
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Imagine you are standing beside some tram tracks. In the distance, you spot a runaway trolley hurtling down the tracks towards five workers who cannot hear it coming. Even if they do spot it, they won’t be able to move out of the way in time.
As this disaster looms, you glance down and see a lever connected to the tracks. You realise that if you pull the lever, the tram will be diverted down a second set of tracks away from the five unsuspecting workers.
However, down this side track is one lone worker, just as oblivious as his colleagues.
So, would you pull the lever, leading to one death but saving five?
This is the crux of the classic thought experiment known as the trolley dilemma, developed by philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967 and adapted by Judith Jarvis Thomson in 1985.
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“The Trolley Problem” reminds us that, in fact, in Life there rarely a single correct answer, and all choices have consequences <some good and some bad>.
We have a tendency to perceive Life as a continuous string of days in which we make choices with a clear 360degree vision.
The reality is that string of days is more likely to have long periods of dense fog 
in which you are attempting to make choices where you can barely see your hand in front of your face.
People who believe success happens overnight are sadly mistaken.
People who believe success is always doing one thing, choosing one path, and sticking to it are sadly mistaken.
People who believe grinding and working away will insure you will not be overlooked <at some point> or not be taken for granted are sadly mistaken.
People who believe if you work hard enough there are no limitations <to progress or your own capabilities> are sadly mistaken.
People who believe they work REALLY hard they will automatically become exceptional at their craft and ‘experts’ … are sadly mistaken.
Suffice it to say … it is slightly naïve to believe if you work hard and be patient … well … it will all work itself out.
Suffice it to say … Life is relatively indifferent to what you want, destiny does not lend you a hand and the universe, in general, is a shitty guide.
Success takes a tremendous amount of effort.
Yeah … the impatient tend to progress faster … but also crash more often.
Success is more often a delicate balance of patience & impatience.
That said.
I have always balked at the “do what you are passionate” career advice. Only because in its simplistic guidance it suggests that your passion is always tied to what you are actually good at. This kind of advice kind of sucks because if you suck at what you are passionate about you are more likely to end up a bitter, slightly angry, poor individual than a successful one.
My suggestion is to do … well … something that is going to sound crappy.
Do what you love as a side project to your day job. Doing what you want as a side project gives you opportunities to not only do something you want to do but it kind of ‘tests the market for what you have to offer.’
Obviously this also gives you some stability in that you are still paying bills.
I would note that this is exactly what my ‘multiple night success’ friend did.
All that said. Within the multiple nights effort there is a less discussed aspect.
Multiple night success more often than not depends on emotionally intelligence or … well … a strongly grounded character.
I couldn’t figure out exactly which of those phrases I wanted here.
The high falutin’ thought is emotional intelligence or emotional IQ … but I think it may be simpler than that.
Character.
Solid moral compass.
Integrity.
A persistent belief in the fact the good within will be able to deflect the majority of the bad Life throws at you.
It may have a tinge of unrealistic expectations but I would argue that the tinge is what colors what could appear to be a bleak landscape that their Life could appear like on occasion.
It also permits you to ground yourself in “I” and not in the eyes of “them.” It permits you so that no matter what other people are thinking or saying about you … well … your self-worth comes from within and your grounding permits you to ignore the noise.
Ok.
Let me try this.
Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain — you’re never as good or bad as they say you are. Knowing that your firm grasp of who you are makes it difficult for someone to say or do something that can dent your resilience & belief in character.
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“all that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”
–
Tolkein
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Ok.
Not all those who wander are lost.
We spend gobs of time talking about career success and planning your future and all of that bullshit when the truth is that not everyone knows their “destination” from day one.
While we use that thought most often with our youth, I could argue that a shitload of people at any age takes time to figure out not only what you are good at but what makes you happy <which may not be the same thing> as well as what feeds your life vitality <the shit that makes waking up every morning fun>.
People wander.
Ok.
Not all do … but those who do tend to be some pretty interesting people <not necessarily the most successful … but interesting>.
I often use a clip from the old tv show Felicity to make this point:
<it is called “Ben’s big mom speech … and yes … I am actually using a clip from Felicity to make a point here … but YouTube doesn’t offer the actual clip because of licensing>
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Ben:
“I’d like to think that people take a good look at me before they make up their minds… He’s this guy, he doesn’t know what he wants to be yet, and he doesn’t have a major yet, he’s got his dad as this dark character … has a drinking problem.
I’m not really selling myself here, am I? … Look I understand why you guys needed to see Felicity with someone like Noel… I mean, he’s obviously gonna make it. And probably long before, I mean, I figure out what I ‘m gonna be in my life. But I always remember this one thing my teacher said, which was, all these people she knew they had no idea what they were gonna do with their lives when they were twenty. So, chances are, I’m gonna turn out to be a pretty interesting guy.
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It’s a great message.
The wanderer usually feels like there is something wrong with themselves. And there is an inherent danger in defending yourself in that in doing so you stop seeking an actual destination and revel in the seeming rebellion of wandering.
Regardless.
Wandering doesn’t mean you are lost. You may simply be discovering. And the discovery is needed to make whatever gold you have in you shine.
Time just needs to buff away the dullness a little.
Next.
Part B … “deep roots are not reached by frost.”
Well.
As I have said a bunch of times … “life can be a real motherfucker.” Not only can it be relatively indifferent to what you want it can actually actively make Life a real shitshow on occasion.
That said.
A wanderer needs deep roots just to survive some of the shit Life throws at you.
Deep roots is the shit that matters within.
Your passion.
Your soul.
Your character.
Your beliefs.
The kind of stuff that no matter how much someone may challenge or try to make sound silly … well … they are your deep roots.
Here is the tricky part.
I think deep roots takes time.
And I don’t mean cultural roots or family roots … I mean personal roots.
Unfortunately many of us don’t get deep <healthy> roots until you are older. It seems like life experience creates deep roots.
But.
It’s worth the wait.
Because even in the coldest and darkest of time … deep roots can never be touched by frost <which means they will grow again>.
And that is what has happened with my good friend. His roots have found a home and his paths have joined to meet at some destination which, after many years, is his new success.
Look.
I do not believe that journey is for the faint of heart and I do believe ‘wandering’ takes deep roots, resilience and a good healthy dose that good overcomes bad if you keep believing that.
But I would argue his journey has made his Life interesting … and him more interesting.
Sigh.
What you cannot see around the corner.
That new road.
Or that secret gate.
The unknown.
To me each step in life is driven on by curiosity and the joy of discovery. And then not settling with that discovery but rather pocketing it as a new experience 
and immediately stepping back out on the road seeking the next gate, door or errand …. ‘pursuing it with eager feet’ as it may be.
I do think it is helpful to remind ourselves that big is more often found in small than anywhere else … that there is always another gate or door … and that even the ‘least’ among us can actually be the ‘most’ for the health of a strong society.
Some people take more time to grow more into who and what you are … and some people need more doors & gates to grow into the place their deep roots belong.
And some people made of gold do not <obviously> glitter … and, yet, they find their personal pot of gold.
<well done DMan>
Scoundrels, when challenged, will often use false patriotism in order to shut up their opponents.
in a struggle for the soul of America – a struggle for our moral core.” And while I still believe that he has brought an entirely different dimension into this struggle … a struggle over patriotism.
I have written about the power of words, the proper use of words and … well … the waste of good words a zillion times.
They have been uttered full of nothing … even though they possibly were crafted by a lot of something <passion, thought, insight, whatever>. But as they eased out from between the lips of the deliverer they were stripped of anything meaningful and simply become platitudes.
as it floats thru the environment <slowly, or quickly, changing as it is bombarded with contextual environment> and what it means as it is heard.
Combine means to bring together in close union … more general in application than unite and does not emphasize as strongly the completeness of the process of coming together. In other words it just places things together but don’t guarantee the full integration.
I imagine my real point is that words without their corners knocked off, or ground down, can be good words … and used for good.
He continues to miss opportunities to make a point with regard to what he suggested he stood for <the forgotten everyday schmuck>. In this situation if he stood up and was able to put any semblance of a thought together in his word salad way he would say “the everyday soldier who served bravely should never be dishonored by the flaws of their leaders. Families sent their sons and many paid the ultimate price bravely. Memorials should stand to honor their families, them and their choice to serve. Statues of their leaders, who led them for a cause which was not for what makes America great, deserve to only remain in museums so that we can learn the lessons of their mistakes.” 
Ok.
He is what he is. His ‘tone & message’ instincts are horrible.
the shithole Obama put us in. He has been saying this for almost 2 years. Charlottesville was a perfect example of his self-proclaimed shithole that he, and only he, can pull us out of.
Freedom of speech does not mean freedom of violence.
believe it is not what we want to be.
… from the time he became a candidate until today. He has consistently cared about one thing – how he looks, how he is perceived and how his ‘brand’ is viewed.
and “best.”
It is like we spend hours sifting through the verbal garbage for the one or two items which we can wash off and show that it wasn’t all garbage. And all the while we do that we seem to overlook the person who threw out the garbage … who is most likely standing in the window of their house chuckling “look at all those people paying attention to my garbage.”
And while everyone casts about for ways to explain his ‘unpredictability’ I would argue he has always been predictably consistent in that he will do and say anything that he believes builds his brand.
I imagine the difficult in all of his is that Donnie Two Scoops has his own alternative reality in which he has attached his brand to America itself in his own head and, therefore, justifies all of his brand behavior as “representative of the America brand.”
Its also <slightly> interesting I used an Ayn Rand quote to open a thought on business leadership.
I point out the vision and instincts aspects because it is that ‘dance’ which … well … can make a business dance. Some people talk about strategy & tactics but this is a little different. This is kind of a step up from that.
aspect but had an incredibly strong sense of ‘right versus wrong’ with regard to business philosophy and excellent instincts which tended to permit a shitload of progress <if not particularly visionary progress>. I would note he was pretty good at hiring some people who were visionary and combined with what he was good at he had a nice ability <albeit sometimes a lite too pragmatic> to tighten some loose vision and … well … get shit done.
I will ignore the tweets … entertaining but absurd.
executive orders, some cutting back on regulations, maybe taking some, what they would consider, unnecessary pieces out so the engine can run a little more effectively.
I hire managers to manage tactics … I hire leaders to share a vision. A transactional leader is a tactical leader.
I say that because while I am as detailed as possible with regard to how to fix the hollow presidency’s arc of behavior I remain concerned that the president, a self proclaimed successful business person, shows little signs he understands basic leadership behavior <and attitudes>. I admit … while I sensed his early on I never expected him to be this inept at basic leadership skills.
and only one, thing truly matters – will President Trump ever permit his mind to be enlightened. For that is the path out of the darkness that his administration tries to convince us we all live in as well as some of the darker more ignorant & naïve aspects of the current administration’s behavior.
Forever.
Forever is an empty concept.
remember “the wins”, even if they are few and far between, with regard to their children. But maybe we should be pointing out the attempts, the persistency of their parenting attempts, rather than just the wins … the victories. And while the victories must be an incredible source of pride <that their attempts in parenting actually paid off in some way> their real pride source of being a parent, a father, is more likely to be found in the persistent attempts.
