attorneys for the people

john cage biscuit


“A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.”


Benjamin Franklin








Lawyer advertising is horrendous <a sweeping generalization of which is simply a nice way of stating the fact that all lawyer advertising is horrendous>.




I would slit my professional throat before I ever agreed to do something like what is being currently done in this category.

I was inspired to share my suicidal thoughts with regard to this professional option with one prime example:


Morgan and Morgan: For the People

lawyer morgan






REALLY ??!!??



<insert “WTF” here>



For people?




Excuse me … “the” people. As if adding ‘the’ differentiates people types <it does not>.


This begs the real question.



Were lawyers ever not for people?


And if so … when did lawyers become for the people?




Because depending upon that date … everyone prior to that date who dealt with a lawyer must be screwed <because before that point no lawyer was for people>.


Let me be clear.


This has to be one of the stupidest waste of words in advertising I have ever seen.

If they aren’t for people … who would they be representing? Animals ? <see later>. Minerals?





That’s right.


If you read more they suggest they are for ‘the people’ and not ‘the powerful.’



That’s it.

Tell everyone you are for the little people. Let’s diminish our target audience while we are at it <while we are trying to act ‘folksy’>.




Maybe they should have been more specific.


If I am going to step up to the plate and actually claim to be lawyers for people lawyer said… at least I could have insured making some time of verbal statement that I was for … well … alive people and not dead people <just to make sure people didn’t assume the wrong thing>.




<big idea alert — McTague & McTague: representing ghosts until the death>






But Morgan & Morgan actually dials up the absurd rhetoric to a higher level.










Not only is this law firm for the people … they are also for pets.

what dog look



Morgan – And our Pets:


This is the kind of advertising crap that sends me through the roof.


This kind of ‘pandering to what we know people like’ simply to try and share some vivid demonstration of ‘common interests’ rather than stand up and say ‘we are the best damn lawyers you have ever had the pleasure of partnering with” is … well … just bad.



It’s like putting a puppy, or a baby, in your ad because you know people like it even though it has nothing to do with what you do type bad.



This is what hacks do when they are challenged to differentiate a business in a service category.


lawyer baldThey either come up with tripe, the absurd or … the ‘go to’ hack message … low price.







Taglines are tricky <I admit that>.



But you make it easier on yourself if you just apply some basic thoughts for development:




Your target audience would wear a tshirt with the tagline on it.

This means it should show some “attitude.”


This means it does not contain words:





This means it should contain a strong action verb.


This means it avoids passive or oblique grammatical construction.

<or a ‘made up’ word>


This means it should have some energy.


This means it should create some visceral impact.


This means it should be memorable <and hopefully sustainable>.

lawyer misleading=

This means it should be pronounceable.


This means it should have a natural meter.

<and alliterative is always nice>


This means it should be no more than six syllables.

<give or take a syllable or two>




I truly believe that lawyer advertising really does not have to be bad.






How can I be that confident to say that?Danger Falling Coconuts






If toilet paper can actually market itself well … surely a lawyer can.

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Written by Bruce