Being a gentleman

I saw this image on weheartit <posted by a young female I believe> and I paused to think about it.

Being a gentleman IS becoming a lost art.

It seems like it may be so as the unintended consequence of the increasing <good> discussion about female empowerment and equality.

The rampant discussion is translating into men stopping being gentlemen.

It’s almost like we use the whole women discussion as an excuse for not being a gentlemen.

The real male assholes say something like “well, they want to be treated equally? Then I am gonna treat them like just another asshole.”

The confused male starts doing … well … nothing. They are not sure where the boundaries are and therefore they don’t do anything.

The overcompensating male starts treating women like buddies and pals.

The nostalgic male dials up the ‘gentlemanness’ to a point where they seem out of touch with today’s world <albeit a portion of the audience view it as ‘charming’>.

The oblivious male just farts and belches and does whatever they have been doing, or not doing, as they have since Adam decided peeing in the bushes was easier than walking over to the designated sanitation area.

The gentleman … well … remains the gentleman. And you know what? it is just not that hard. And it is almost like guys have forgotten what is at the core of being a gentleman. It really isn’t about treating a woman as if she is some delicate flower which cannot handle the inclement weather of Life unless a man is there to protect her … it is about respect.

Respect of someone’s space and place in the world.

Do I sometimes still open a door for a woman?

Sure I do.

But I also open doors out of courtesy in a variety of situations. But mostly I am courteous to waiters & waitresses, listen when others are speaking and help an elderly person who seems like they could use a moment of help. I don’t treat a woman as a special act of courtesy … I treat women courteously as I do everyone.

And, frankly, that is what I believe a gentleman is.

And, yeah, some women chafe at acts of courteousness because when viewed in isolation it can appear as if a man is treating a woman as someone incapable of doing shit on her own. But a real gentleman isn’t offended … they just keep on being courteous & respectful.

It is the ‘posers’ who get aggravated.

Gentleman get measured by the consistency of our actions and … well … we gentleman know this. We recognize single acts can be difficult for someone to assess and therefore forgive single responses. Mostly because being a gentleman is about seeing the bigger picture. Gentlemen recognize they will be measured by their actual deeds.

What I do know for sure is that being a gentleman is becoming a lost art. And I worry a little bit about it because it is a reflection less of maleness and ‘gentlemanness’ but rather overall courtesy.

If we encourage courteous behavior I imagine there will inevitably be more gentlemen in the world.

But, maybe even more importantly, we would simply have more courteous people in the world.

As for what I believe?

There should be more gentlemen in the world. I struggle to believe there could ever be too many gentlemen. I cannot envision a scenario where being a gentlemen would ever be a bad thing <even if it were not completely appreciated>.

I think this is a man’s world issue.

This is something men need to teach boys and young men should be encouraged to ‘be’ regardless of their situation and lot in life.

And we need to do so despite the fact even some women will be ranting over the archaic nature of ‘gentlemen.’

And why do we need to do so? Because being a gentleman is not about women.

It is about men … and how they act … and what they believe.

Courtesy is at the core of the concept of ‘gentleman.’ And that is a piece of art which will never go out of style regardless of time & space.