so it goes tattoo

“So it goes.” –  Kurt Vonnegut <Slaughterhouse 5>.

 

Which leads me to:

 

“Nature is neither kind nor cruel but indifferent.” – Richard Dawkins

 

So.

Life is always interesting if you pay attention to what is going on around you.

Awhile back I was sitting at a bar somewhere on a Caribbean island typing away <and sipping a beer> and got a glimpse of two diametrically opposed views on life.

 

On one side of the bar was a young lady crackling with energy … perpetually dissatisfied with life … reading Slaughterhouse 5 … a new college graduate wondering what the hell she was doing working on an island.

 

At the bar was a young man bartender … pretty satisfied with a no stress life … a new college graduate wondering why the hell would anyone want to do anything but work on an island.

 

There was an instant dislike between them.

They sought different things out of Life.

 

I loved them both <at least once I figured out I could never ‘fix’ the bartenders view on Life and figured out how to show the young lady she didn’t need to prove to me she didn’t belong on the island>.

 

And I thought it was interesting that Life decided to throw Slaughterhouse Five into the moment.

 

Because while I believe Slaughterhouse Five suggests a moral view about war in that it can dehumanize us to a point of almost indifference to Life … I believe it suggests an even more important point.

 

While Life goes on almost indifferently … with a nonstop barrage of births, deaths, wins, losses, despairs, hopes, tragedies … and triumphs <so it goes … so it goes> … you can quite easily be an impassive participant … or you can choose to participate.

 

You can be indifferent to what is going on around you … and maybe even move on in some way <so it goes> and remain silent … albeit in a sometimes mind numbing world your silence may be simply self-defense … or you can participate <in Life>.

 

And participation can make a difference … not just individually but in totality.

 

And when combined with the Dawkins quote I thought of two things:

 

–          Survival <of the fittest> is written by the winners <just like history>.

–          I want to rewrite his quote to say “life” instead of “nature”

 

 

Ah.

Survival of the fittest <or maybe the Survival of Life>.

 

There is survival as in … well … existing <the bartender> … and then there is survival as in winning <the young lady>. Both are definitely survival just different aspects.

 

And it is quite possible that how you define survival defines how you view Life … and what you want from Life.

And you know what?

While it may drive us crazy if we run into someone who defines it differently … we are no more right than they … or maybe they are no more wrong than us.

 

I also find the funny contradiction in that so many of us more experienced older folk view the bartender’s life with some envy … the perception of no stress or pressure and the ability to relax more often.

And the young, with all of Life ahead, views the same person with some disdain. Disdain as in ‘waste.’

 

Ah.

So it goes.

 

Life is indifferent. Therefore it is we and our constant questioning of ideas and things that came before us which often defines how we view Life.

It is not always an easy or comfortable pursuit … but it is what makes the process of Life active in some form or fashion.

 

And in that idea the restful bartender and the restless young lady shared a commonality <although they couldn’t find it in each other>.so it goes silence

 

They both questioned what is.

They both thought about what will be.

 

They were simply coming up with different answers.

 

Stanley Kubrick said … The very meaninglessness of life forces man to create his own meaning.

 

All this questioning shows us a path to realize our life’s purpose.

Any and all of us <as I imagine I found it even in myself surrounded by this contradictory pair>.

 

Now.

It is extremely easy to attain an attitude of indifference in ourselves. Or what may look like indifference.

 

And in doing so to withdraw from the sometimes overpowering and overwhelming aspects of the world … and inevitably start seeking inwards. And within … we stay … while without … the world moves on.

 

The bartender oddly enough was quite articulate in his inward journey.

 

Reflecting upon the world and its many issues he quite easily came to the conclusion that the craziness <in which he had no desire to participate in> appeared to be mainly due to deterioration of value systems.

 

Everywhere he looked he saw see people filled with greed and intent on self-gratification.

He saw people ever willing to compromise on values to make personal gains.

Interestingly … his ‘so it goes’ attitude was … in his eyes … a version of ‘no compromise.’

In other words … he desired to remain true to himself <adamant in fact> … and feared he could not do so in today’s world. It is his own self defense mechanism.

 

As Billy in Slaughterhouse 5 says “so it goes” … the bartender’s life philosophy was “shit happens.”

 

And the power of ‘so it goes’ retains its glory not for the expression and passion behind the words … but the lack of.

These “world-weary words simultaneously accept and dismiss everything.

Unlike many quotes, the repeated ‘so it goes’ from Slaughterhouse-Five isn’t notable for its unique wording so much as for how much emotion <and lack of emotion> it packs into three simple, world-weary words …words that simultaneously accept and dismiss everything.

The three words neatly encompass a whole way of life.

 

 

Conversely.

The young lady and ‘so it goes’?

 

Shit happens, and it’s awful, but it’s not okay. We deal with it because we have to.

 

And dammit … she was going to deal with it. While the bartender stayed within as self defense … she was more than willing to go ‘with out’ … on the attack.

Somehow, someway, somewhere … she was going to deal with the world because … well … we have to. I am not sure she knew any other way of looking at it <and I imagine I gravitated to this energy and passion>.

 

She was restlessly dissatisfied with the world … and herself in way <in that she wasn’t an active participant at the moment> and she wanted to get in the game and ‘deal with it.’

 

She just didn’t know how yet.

She only knew working on an island and reading Slaughterhouse Five at a bar was not her way.

She only knew that the bartender’s way was not her way.

 

She had disdain for what she perceived as a blatant unconcern for life.

 

In the book … ‘so it goes’ follows all accounts of death in the book whether it is the mass death following the bombing of Dresden or the death of the lice and bacteria on soldier’s clothes as they are cleaned.

 

She saw ‘so it goes’ as a death to her dreams and desires and ambition.

 

She rejected it as she read the book.

She rejected it as she put the book down and heard the bartender say it without him actually saying the words.

 

I also found it interesting that <pulling from Slaughterhouse Five> that when a Tralfamadorian sees a corpse all they think is that the dead person is in bad condition in that particular moment … but that the same person is just fine in plenty of other moments.

 

The bartender saw dead people as simply in bad condition with better moments to come.

The young lady saw dead people as … well … dead. No life.

 

The bartender seemed to feel the “sheer helplessness, the total ineffectuality, of anyone caught up in such a massacre” expressed in the novel.  He saw only that Vonnegut realized that he could not effectively write about an event that made no sense in a sensible fashion and that things always have existed and will always exist.

He created some distance from this Life … as self-defense … the need to prevent and avoid suffering.

 

 

The young lady?

All she wanted to do was to start talking about values and ideas and anything but ‘so it goes’ and go out and shake the etch a sketch in the minds of people in some form or fashion believing it will do the world some good. She wanted to make a difference in terms of impact.

 

In the end … these two wonderful young people reminded me of one of my favorite quotes about finding the sweet spot balance in Life:

 

“We must learn to be still in the midst of activity and to be vibrantly alive in repose.” – Indira Gandhiso it goes humor and hope

 

 

Both of them were seeking their place in life as well as their life balance.

 

One was still in the midst of activity.

 

The other was vibrantly alive in repose.

 

Both have yet to reach out and tug a little on the other side of living Life to find the balance.

 

It is difficult to do so.

It is sometimes dirty difficult work to rethinking Life.

Equal parts ruthless self-reflection and some trite literary parables <so it goes>  all illustrating the challenging reality that trying new things … creating new beginnings … looking at things differently … is hard.

 

Shit.

Growing up is anything but ‘so it goes’ … it is hard.

 

There are seemingly thousands of potential missteps that make for an epic failure and seemingly thousands of potential insights that make for epic success.

And in between are seemingly thousands of Life moments passing by indifferently but impacting your fate and future.

 

I imagine it all comes down to assuming responsibility for your own shit <Life>.

 

And it isn’t one path … or one way … and in fact a Life best lived is actually probably a combination of still in the midst of activity and vibrantly alive in repose.

 

What I loved about both of these young people was that despite the fact they were diametrically opposed in how they were living Life <and I imagine how they viewed success in Life> … they both adamantly rejected the politically correct tripe being thrown at them.

 

The one that says … “None of your problems are your fault. Everything bad in your life is somebody else’s fault. Blame the environment. Blame the educator. Blame your parents. Blame anybody else, but it’s not your fault. If you get in an accident, it’s never your liability. It’s always somebody else’s fault.”

 

They both rejected that tripe and clearly assumed responsibility for their own life.

 

In fact.

While viewing Life quite differently … they both wanted to change the world … albeit in completely different ways.

 

Ah.

Young people.

 

They can often remind us that there are many ways of being satisfied … and positively dissatisfied <a state of perpetual dissatisfaction> … with Life.

 

And while Life may be indifferent … there are many many different ways to become involved in Life … and make a difference.

 

so it goes quotesAnd in the end?

 

The key to survival of Life <and the fittest>.

 

Be true to thineself.

 

 

So it goes. So it goes.

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Written by Bruce