how you fall matters (RIP Scott Stuart)
“When you die, that does not mean that you lose to cancer.
You beat cancer by how you live, why you live, and the manner in which you live.”
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Scott Stuart
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— From Lion in the Winter —
<thinking they hear Henry approach the dungeon>
—
Prince Richard:
He’s here.
He’ll get no satisfaction out of me.
He isn’t going to see me beg.
—
Prince Geoffrey:
My… you chivalric fool… as if the way one fell down mattered.
–
Prince Richard:
When the fall is all there is, it matters.
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“The Lion in the Winter”
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So.
I will begin with the thought that it is incredibly easy to flinch from your destiny.
And.
When the fall is all there is … it matters.
It matters a lot as a matter of fact.
I thought about this when I heard Scott Stuart of ESPN died of cancer at the age of 49 this morning.
I wasn’t a huge fan of his as an ESPN announcer but I was a huge fan of his as a man and human being.
Death teaches you a lot about character.
Why?
Because it matters how you fall if that is all there is.
Now.
I am not going to be politically correct with regard to the thought I am going to share.
Pretty much everyone focuses on ‘living life to its fullest’ and making every moment count.
Well.
There are situations where things get a little reversed. In some cases some people actually see the Life finish line.
Sure.
We all know it is there but for most of us it creeps up on us from somewhere beyond the horizon … unseen but we know it is there somewhere.
For others … Life shows it to them. It says “here it is.”
Now.
It may be somewhere down the road but it is absolutely not over the horizon and it is a clear destination which you are traveling toward.
To me … this is when how you die matters.
I am not suggesting you shouldn’t fight for what you believe is right up until the end. I am not suggesting you don’t fight for every moment.
I am suggesting that when the fall is all there is … that the way you fall really matters.
I sometimes think people ignore ‘the fall’ because they want to focus on Life.
Ignoring the fall as an undesirable event which should be ignored as if it will not happen.
Well.
I guess that’s not bad. And … people need to do what is right for them.
But not all ‘falls’ are equal.
In your own mind and certainly not in the mind of others.
Will King Henry care if the prince is disgraced … or chooses to die with grace and honor?
Probably.
He may look at the prince differently.
Let me point out … may.
Will it matter to the prince … Richard?
Surely.
It makes a statement of who he is as a person.
Scott Stuart decided how you die matters.
He realized the fall would not only matter to him … but to others.
I guess my point is that one way of looking at ‘the fall’ is to treat it simply as an adverb in the middle of a long sentence.
Simply a word with the intent of getting to the period.
Or.
Like Richard the Lionhearted, or Scott Stuart, you can treat it like it is the end of a sentence.
A period.
Or an exclamation point.
Or a question mark.
Or anything definitive or declarative.
A way to put a piece of punctuation at the end of this particular sentence.
Richard states that it matters to him and he is going to control how his fall is defined. Scott Stuart did the same.
This isn’t about being right or wrong.
This is about character.
I guess we sometimes worry so much about ‘maximizing Life’ we forget how we fall says something about who we are as a person.
We do not choose when we will die … but some people are chosen to die.
That is what cancer <certain types> does.
It touches you and says “tag, you are it.” Your horizon becomes less expansive and your destiny is better defined.
You didn’t choose this destiny but by being chosen you have to choose.
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“Just remember, if you flinch from your destiny, you’ll never achieve your true greatness — you didn’t choose to be chosen, but being chosen means you have to choose.”
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Charlie Jane Anders
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And maybe that is what Start Scott truly reminded me.
You have to choose when chosen.
Choose to flinch from your destiny or not. A destiny you did not choose.
He did not.
He said something at one point about “fight until you are too tired to fight … and then it is okay to stop, rest, and die.”
So, remember, the fall does matter.
Don’t flinch from your fall.
Look.
I may have this all wrong <except the fact that Scott Stuart did not flinch from his destiny>.
But.
If I do have it right.
I can only hope I do not flinch when faced with my fall.
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RIP Scott.
You didn’t know me … but I wish I had known you.
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