“I knew I was not the Best”

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“I knew I wasn’t the best and that I probably never would be. I was always competing, and I did all right, but I was never number one. I knew I wasn’t the best singer but I knew I didn’t have to be the best. My intense compulsion to write and sing my songs along with my persistence and dedication would carry me when I got bogged down in doubt and fear. And my imperfections would distinguish me. However they tortured me sometimes, my imperfections were what made me unique.”

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From Juliana Hatfield biography “When I grow Up”

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This is about self reflection, self awareness and aspects of growing up <although I think a lot of people could use some of these learnings>.

 

The opening quote is about as thoughtful a ‘growing up’ thought as anyone could have. Yet. It almost seems un-American <’I knew I wasn’t the best’> while at the same time an excellent recognition of ‘I didn’t have to be the best.’

Whew. I wish we taught this more often. To kids, to employees, heck, to people in general.  Competing is the name of the game. Only one can be the best. There is only one number one <hence its name>. So that one thought, ‘I can be successful and not have to be the best’, is fabulous.

In addition.

As we ‘compete’ in Life I imagine everyone is tortured in some way by our own imperfections but if we take a moment we can revel in those same imperfections as the things that make us unique. Interestingly, we can often be tortured by both things — uniqueness and imperfections. So often we want to be ‘like others’ despite not wanting to be like everyone else. Yikes. Now if there isn’t a paradox in life I don’t know what is.

 

Regardless.

Standing out in any way can be painful <at its worst> and a burden <at almost all times>. The sooner we can accept that <and hopefully teach our kids this> the sooner you accept the burden and move on.

Trite thought about individual imperfections/uniqueness, but, it is what it is <they are what they are>.

You can either invest a shitload of energy wishing it was something else or invest the energy being ‘persistent and dedicated’ toward something so you don’t get bogged down.

Recognition, self-awareness, is also a glimpse of the fact you sacrifice some aspects of ‘growing up’ when you put some blinders on professionally. In other words, your career becomes – or dominates – your life and other things inevitably get sacrificed.

Along this self awareness path we have to make some choices. They often get reflected in the things we all do on occasion despite the fact someone, who supposedly knows better, tells us it is or is not the thing to do. I am not going to suggest we should ignore what other people tell us. In fact. You do listen, choose t do or ignore. Inevitably this is often a lot of trial & error in finding out your own ‘what to do’ compass. Each time something happens you will always ask yourself ‘why’ or ‘what does this have to do with music <or your version of that>?  Sometimes you will scratch your head and wonder, sometimes you will scream in frustration and sometimes, well, it turns out okay.

The one thing I know for sure? The inner voice develops over time. Along the way you hope to avoid looking like an idiot but <I hate to break the news to you> you will look like an idiot at some point.

At some point in childhood, in your working years, heck, as a parent — you will look like an idiot. Why? Because Life doesn’t come with a ‘how to’ manual. You learn ‘how to’ live life by doing and watching and listening <and being an idiot>.

Sure. At some point your inner voice matures but until then? You will do something at some point that will make you look like an idiot.

Sometimes part of your idiocy is driven by what most people call ‘your passion.’ While every job, every career, every person has its challenges and issues a lot of peple forge their way thru this obstacle course focused on “what is my passion.”

Well. The grass may look greener but even your passion comes with some issues. Yes. Even following your passion is work at some point. That doesn’t mean you don’t love it and aren’t happy you chose doing it, but everything and anything can become a grind. No one really tells you that when discussing ‘follow your passion.’

Lastly.

Confidence in self. Whew. People with confidence can seem so intimidating in their, well, confidence. It is a suit of armor that protects them from the rest of us ‘less confident’ people. But here’s the deal. Confidence doesn’t equal knowledge or skill or ability.

Simplistically, all confidence equals is confidence. It is simply an attitude <albeit it sometimes appears as a skill>. Until actions match attitude all you gots is a whole bunch of attitude. To be clear. Hollow confidence is hollow and will not get you shit or anywhere except in the shit and nowhere.

It seems un-american these days to suggest that confidence isn’t the key to success. But here is a Life thought to ponder … maybe it is simply being a little less insecure that can insure some success — not having more confidence.

Having less of something means getting more of something else? <sometimes a good Life formula>

Sure. Someone could probably argue that is confidence but I would suggest it is simply being lessening some weight slowing you down and rather than adding something that can pull you forward <but possibly is an additional burden>.

But, hey … that sounds a lot of some Law of Gravity or something like that and what the heck does that have to do with Life? Everything.

You don’t have to be the best. You don’t have to be the most confident. You don’t have to be perfect. All you have to be is your best version of you.

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Written by Bruce