the unimportance of ‘that moment’

——

metro waiting passing

“Maybe you can afford to wait.

Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow.

Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers.

So much time you can waste it.

But for some of us there’s only today.

And the truth is, you never really know. “

=

Lauren Oliver

——–

“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event.

Now their lives are more about the past than their future. “

=

Chuck Palahniuk

——-

 

 

Well.

 

 

We all have moments. Cross road moments.

 

 

frozen moment in timeOk.

 

 

There are a shitload of crossroad moments <as I have written before … so many your head would explode if you truly counted them> … but in this case I mean ‘that moment’ kind of moment.

 

That moment we believe our world and Life shifted direction.

One moment in which something died within us … or something came to Life within us.

 

 

The proverbial and metaphorical fork in the road.

 

 

I will not argue that these moments not only play a large role in life … nor will I argue that these moments can be infinitely important.

 

 

What I will suggest is that maybe we make these moments important to us in the wrong way.

 

 

Maybe we need not reflect upon them because they are … well … in the past.

 

We have already left ‘there’ and are now ‘here’ and are … well … on our way to ‘somewhere.’

 

 

I don’t know.

 

I saw this quote and it made me think.

 

It made me think about how so often when asked about ‘how did you get here’ we so quickly shift into the past … and not talk about what is happening now. Nor do we answer this question by discussing where we are going  … the future.

 

 

It made me think about how we value our past decisions so highly and maybe not value decisions to come at the same value.

 

It made me think that we assess value in size <one big moment> rather than in quantity <the little moments that got us ‘here’>.

 

 

Sure.

 

Some of us probably have ‘that moment’ stored somewhere in our past.

 

 

But I imagine more of us actually have a whole bunch of seemingly meaningless little moments … almost unrecognizable … that have got us to where we are attitudinally, intellectually and physically.

 

 

 

It made me think maybe by reliving ‘that moment’ we are setting us up for unrealistic future moment management.

 

 

It made me think maybe we are continuously seeking big earth shattering moments in the future by doing so.

 

 

It made me think that maybe, in reality, the future is made up of infinitesimal little moments in which we are made, broken, reshaped & remade.

 

 

Aw.

 

Shit.

 

 

Philosophical rambling on my part.

 

letters to myself note to future self

 

 

 

All I know for sure is that I will hesitate from here on out to dramatize some past event as ‘meaningful in my Life’ beyond the fact it was but a moment.

 

 

 

Just take … well …. a moment or two clarifying in my mind that it was not necessarily ‘that moment’ but simply ‘a moment.’

 

 

And maybe in doing so I will make every moment a little more important in the future.

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