family choices tough decisions ahead 

===============

 

As in war, chess requires one should preserve what one can,  and sacrifice what one cannot.

Even to the sacrifice of the most valuable pieces to win the game.”

 

—-

Rachel Caine

 

=====================

“I’m sick of people telling me it’s just a “get over it” situation. Fuck you. You don’t know what it’s like in my head. “

 

The Newsroom

 

========================

 

“When all the world’s a lock, you don’t find a key, you become the key.”

 

—-

Rachel Caine

 

===========================

 

 

Ok.

 

This is about sacrifices and how we manage, or mismanage, the sacrifices we let us make it countmake.

 

 

 

Simplistically … I tend to believe we all know that if you have to give something meaningful up … you should make it count.

 

Now.

 

We make sacrifices all the time.

 

Shit.

Sometimes we don’t even want to make a sacrifice … but Life steps in and actually demands we make one <and we have to deal with it>.

 

Regardless.

The problem is that I would bet <and I am not a betting man> that we squander 90% of our sacrifices. And I suggest that 90% number knowing that this number just doesn’t include the small sacrifices … but also some of the larger “life-defining” sacrifices.

 

Yeah … the larger ones. The larger ones include the kind of sacrifice that can be a defining moment — kind of a crossroads in a way. Now. I purposefully used ‘defining’ because … well … let’s face it … many of us every day schmucks can often lack a certain sureness of our own identity and a sacrifice has a nasty habit of making us face that fact and think about doing something about it.

 

All of what I just suggested means most of the time we want to make the sacrifice count.

 

Now.

 

The next problem is with our sacrifice mismanagement.

 

Almost every one of us has made some personal life changing decision <which included a sacrifice> … and went in ‘whole hog’ … and failed.

 

Therefore, we take our sacrifice and then sometimes seek some clarity of self or sometimes seek some collective-type identity by joining some movement or group. We convert our personal sacrifice into some collective ‘spirit of shared visions & goals’ as a means to not only seek some positive affirmation to our sacrifice but also to … well … hedge our bets.no win choices tough decision sacrifice lead

 

Huh?

 

We know we failed in personal pursuit but believe, if in a group, it will be harder to squander the sacrifice … to not let the sacrifice not count.

 

Look.

I am not going to comment, or criticize, how anyone pursues insuring their sacrifice counts because what matters is insuring that any sacrifice you make doesn’t get wasted.

 

What I will suggest is that we let far too many sacrifices lay wasted in our rear view mirrors.  I would argue that a sacrifice is like starting the engine and putting everything into gear … but you gotta supply the gas and keep your foot on the gas pedal and your hands on the steering wheel.

 

If you doubt that we waste them … start by just thinking about all the ‘right things’ we associate with sacrifices.

 

Shit.

We even have sayings to express our desire to make it count once … well … deciding it SHOULD count:

 

 

… in for a penny, in for a pound.

… go big or go home.

… all or nothing.

 

 

go big or go home tattoo wrist

We say all this shit all the time which means, in our heads, that the implication is to ‘go for it’ despite the potential time investment, potential energy & effort investment and potential costs investment.

Yes … great intentions.

 

But … we waste it.

 

 

Simplistically most of us will run a 100 yard dash in a 5 mile race.

 

And then we look at the 100 yards and say “whew, I gave it my all … I went big … I was all in.” And for a 100 yards you were. The problem is that the finish line, assuming there is a finish line at all, is … well … there is another … uhm … 8700 yards to go.

 

Yeah.

 

Another 87 100 yard dashes.

 

That’s why making sacrifices count is so hard.

 

Almost everyone will go for it for 100 yards having given a meaningful sacrifice.

And will feel like you gave it a good college try.

 

A smaller percentage maybe will do the 2000 yards in the race … just suck it up and go for 20 100 yard dashes.

dauntless freedom sacrifice

And feel like you gave it a good college try.

 

And a much smaller, much smaller, percentage of people will do the full 88 100 yard dashes and finish the 5 miles and make the sacrifice really count.

 

Well.

I will say that sacrifices really do come down to you. As in the quote I used upfront … if you make a sacrifice you don’t look for a key … you become the key that unlocks “making it count.”

 

Lastly.

 

All that said about investing the energy … we actually fuck up the whole concept of sacrifice. We fuck it up by suggesting making it count relies solely on energy & focus. But many true sacrifices demand … well … real sacrifices. What I mean by that is there are situations where you have to decide that if you want to do something or get somewhere you have to be willing to make whatever sacrifice will get you there – any sacrifice.

 

This makes me remind everyone what I noted upfront … chess is a great metaphor.

 

Many times you sacrifice a rook, a knight … maybe even the queen, the most valuable piece, to win the game.

 

Uhm.

That is ‘going for it.’

 

That is ‘go big or go home.’

 

It’s not just running the entire 88 100 yard dashes but also sacrificing something else <sometimes, not always> to get to where it all really counts.

 

And maybe that is my point.make it count life adventure

 

We sometimes are fairly flippant with regard to ‘sacrifice.’

And other times, when big sacrifices are forced upon us, we are not flippant with regard to our intentions to make it count .. but because we did not choose the sacrifice, it was thrust upon us, the internal engine isn’t focused on making it count as hard as if we had actually chosen to make the sacrifice.

 

This all means 90% of the time we do not really make sacrifices count.

That’s a shame.

 

 

 

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Written by Bruce