the one who wishes to wear the crown
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“The one who wishes to wear the crown … must bear its weight …”
Kim Tan
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Not all of us actually seek to wear a crown. Well. Maybe not a crown as the queen or king of something or some leadership spot, but I would argue that anyone who decides progress is good will seek out a crown on occasion.
Here is what I mean.
We all wish for something more than what we have. It is kind of inherent into who and what we are as people. Its not that we are perpetually dissatisfied with where we are and what we have, it’s just that there is an inner urge to discover ‘the best version of yourself’ <or at least a better version than who you are at the moment>.
Now.
I would suggest part of that best version of ourselves encompasses how we pursue “more” and how we assume the responsibility, or burden, associated with the “more” <whatever it is> in our lives. And to discover our ‘hows’, well, you gotta push out on current and existing limitations. In other words you gotta look around for a new crown to wear.
While I assume the quote I used most likely was in reference to a person in charge who will have to take responsibility for everything that leadership <the heavy burden of responsibility>, I would suggest that crowns are crowns and the burden is always a weight.
Once you assume a crown … well … assume that any little thing that goes wrong is your fault. You can have a family behind you, a team behind you, a population behind you, but when the shit hits the fan everyone looks to the one with the crown. Crowns mean you are responsible not just for the direction of efforts, and the efforts themselves, but also the outcomes, good and bad, or any and all efforts.
And while many could look at what I just wrote and say “oh, that is personal responsibility” <taking ownership of you actions & words> I would argue that there is absolutely personal responsibility and then there is crown responsibility. They are different.
Look.
There are many different types of crown in Life.
Shit.
Crowns come in all sizes and shapes.
Power, leadership, fame, family, wealth, relationships, love, the list is pretty extensive. But all have something in common. Once you pick one crown to wear, you must be ready for its consequences.
I believe it was Woody Allen who said that 80% of success in life is showing up. I would suggest the other 20% of success is how well you bear the actual burden of the crowns you wear. And, I would note, part of that burden is how well you actually push opportunity to others now that you have that crown. I say that because crown wearing is not just about problem solving or ‘leading’ or even “I” type things, it actually contains some “what am I going to do for you” type aspects.
Yeah.
Sure.
Leadership is one crown. And whether the crown wearer actually fulfills the responsibility well or not, I tend to believe anyone seeking to wear the leadership crown understands that there is a burden that comes along with it and almost all the different aspects of that burden that come along with it. They may not meet the burden, but they damn well sure know there will be a burden with the crown.
Responsibility and leadership is a well-recognized burden.
But all the other crowns?
All the other crowns are a little sneakier. Sometimes I think we forget some of the choices we make represent the fact that someone has just placed a crown upon our head.
Shit.
In fact.
Sometimes I think we actually don’t like to think of some of these choices as a “putting on a crown’ type choice.
What I mean by that is we purposefully ignore the crown.
I believe we mostly do that because it is nice to think of a choice as a choice and isolate whatever burden or responsibility we feel we should assume to that moment in time and that choice. Crowns mean … well … ongoing burden.
I tend to believe more of us, even the ones who really do not go seeking crowns, should think of more choices as moments in which a crown is placed upon us. Maybe then we would view some choices a little differently, maybe add a little more gravitas to a choice, and certainly add a little more truth to the reality of our lives. Hmmmmm … and maybe that is why wearing a crown can be a burden. You are accepting some truth. And truth, in and of itself, is a burden.
Anyway.
We all wear crowns.
And, in some way and in some situations, you actually wish to wear that particular crown. It would probably do more of us some good to admit this as truth, accept the misery it will most likely place upon you in additional responsibility and understand that this understanding will ultimately set you free to rule that particular aspect of your Life just a little bit better than before.
Ponder.
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James A. Garfield:
“The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.”
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events, trivial moments, trivial moments are more difficult, trivial moments in bigger life, trouble leaves too slow, true friend, trust, trust and doubt embodies people, Trust can be objective and subjective, Trust one side too much and it dulls, truth, truth and expectations, truth goggles, truth is rarely simple, truth is what really happened, truth or lies, truth or nothing, truth to oneself, trying to preserve will lead to stagnation, twitter triumph of humanity, ultimately set you free, unanticipated answers, unanticipated answers to reveal themselves, uncertainty is a bitch, uncertainty takes on geometric proportions, unclear leader, understanding what you do as an organization, unfocused leaders, unintended results, unlearn, unlearning stuff, unlocking the story, unquestionable, unrealistic expectations, unrealisticexpectations, unrelenting parent pressure, unshakeable, untangling people, until we meet again, use your imagination, useful questions, usually entered inadvertently, vachss Burke books, vachss protecting children, version of grind I can only imagine, vibrantly alive in repose, viewing life with eyes wide open, vision, voices of a generation, wacky wisdom, waiting or living, walk in our footsteps, walking beyond our own footsteps, wandering with a direction in mind, want children to do better, want children to go beyond, wasted energy worrying, we all fail, we all have stories, We all want the grand gesture, we make choices, we miss seeing some really valuable things, we overlook the ability of great friends, we see depends mainly on what we look for, we should all listen a little more, We suck at this, we will soar, weighted by its duration, what do you do when you get what you want, what I know opinions, what is right and what is wrong, what is the alternative, what is the place of words, what looks like chaos, what we are seeking explanations, what we have is not what we need, what we need is impossible to get, what we need to get us through, what we want is not what we need, what you do with your time, what's the sense of our small effort, whatever it takes, whatever it takes to cross that dark bridge, when people do not listen, where danger can look divine, who we are today, who we were yesterday, why we don’t really see things, why you do the things you do, wild hearts always seek to escape, will generate, William James quote, wishes to wear the crown, with a little curiosity, woefully inadequate data, words, words reflecting experiences, words that become deeds, words worse than nothing unless they do something, work can be done with purpose, Work is called work and not pleasure or leisure, work is often up to people, work is work, work nevertheless, work of a lifetime, working in and of itself is not a purpose, working with purpose, world loves a cage, world sure does like cages, world waiting inside my cage, worry about implementing a great idea versus protecting it, yhprum's law, you are not a failure because you fail, you cannot dwell on every moment that slipped by, you fail, you have to work to get these stories, you lived life doing stuff, you may gain something, you no longer receive pleasure from, you really want to unlearn, You see, You see but you do not observe
Written by Bruce
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